http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Finding an identity as a solo artist, among other things. R&D project 08-09. Esc Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:48:23 +0000 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://www.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Well, after starting the blog back in October it has taken me until now to write again. I'm not sure why exactly but I've been busy so there is a lot to catch up on.  I think initially the blog felt like a pressure rather than a tool to support my process and thinking and I had not figured out in my head exactly how I wanted to use it, but now it feels right again, it feels helpful and good to write things down.  The last couple of months have been filled with developing a piece of work made in collaboration with Jenny Hunt called 'Everybody Moving On'. Having found common ground two years ago, we have been writing together for the past 2 years, developing performances that allow us to embarrass ourselves and laugh at ourselves and the world around us. This process has allowed me to grow as performer, embracing text and spoken word and identify to myself and remind myself of my desire to work within the realms of performance. This new collaboration has also supported the transition from Ben and Holly to Holly work and new collaborations. It took a while there to be okay about the slower pace at which Ben and Holly now work, of which, to be exact includes the making of no new work for the past 2 years. Quite a change from the speed we had been working running up to this and the amount of time we spent together, which was a lot. This process has allowed me to experience maturity and live the life we once would question. What would happen to Ben and Holly in the future when we move, have to commit to a family/children, get married, the stuff we would laugh about, but it happens, it happens as you get older, things change, we change and this will effect collaboration, not for ever necessarily, but maybe temporarily or for a couple of years. We are bound to change and want different things. This still excites me though and still feels like our work, our work is our relationship and although not physically been presented is still very much alive mentally.  'Everybody Moving On' is the culmination of the 2 years spent with Jenny and recently climaxed with a performance last week at the NRLA in Glasgow. A great weekend, and feeling very relaxed we performed and we enjoyed it. It felt good, the audience liked it and the hard work had paid off. To leave NRLA as a performer saying it was all great, felt great.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 So now I find myself within a new collaboration with Jenny, now called 'Hunt & Darton', with a performance that’s been through the mill, and is know finally finished. I'm still very much attached to Ben and reminisce our work often. I am in the process of archiving Ben and Holly 2002-2009. And I'm Holly, I'm me and I'm finding out a little more about what that means in terms of these two collaborations, the future, my current residence in Hertford, and the move to a new studio located on a farm in the village I lived as a child?  I have recently written my aspirations for this Escalator year and thought I should share them at this point- that way you can all hold me to them. ESCALATOR ASPIRATIONS AS OF February 2009  To be able to write more fluidly about my practice- OWN IT.  Give the visual art work space AND utilise the visual art work (Sculpture, drawing, painting, photography and video) more- find links to allow it to support and/or become part of performance work. Carryout a residency in Colchester July 2009- Camping in Colchester, retreat- a chance to combine visual art work with performance in a space away from arts centre venue- for example an alternative space such as the church or an empty shop etc… Meet key people in the region- HAMMER THE REGION.Simon at Norwich art centre Metal- Southend Focal point gallery- Southend Digswell art trust- Hertfordshire Wysing art centre-             Basingbourne Kettles yard- Cambridge Hertfordshire University Gallery spaces. To PLACE my work both theoretically and physically. To identify specific theory to read. To find FORMULAS and FORMATS to support a personal identity, specifically when applying for future festivals-both UK and beyond, residencies and shows AND/OR to support the day to day ability to developed performative activity i.e. to develop methods for developing movement and vocal work. To investigate AESTHETIC- find a voice.To archive my work to date including work as Holly, work as Ben and Holly and work as Hunt and Darton- GET IT OUT AND REFLECT. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Where's the week gone? I have experienced Shunt for the first time- I have been asked to perform at an event there next week and had a pre tour. Its funny to receive work as a performer now- I'm gong to be a twin and I get styled.I have been considering time a lot this week with the need to slow down and not forget about time. Time being a positive thing, time is good, its essential, there's no hurry.  I have been settling into my new studio space, one half of a barn on a farm in the village I grew up in. It feels funny to return there for the purpose of studio time. I am on a small arable farm with a metal fabricator and a carpenter opposite. Organising and archiving work took up most of my day- it felt good to have the time and space to reflect back on works made in the past 8 years and materials and writing and other paraphernalia that surround my practice to date.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Not sure where the last month has gone and feel adement to use this more regularly now. I have been going through a transition, one which is exciting. For the last 4 months I have been floating- feeling excited about my Escalator status but also filled with and uncontrollable anxiety regarding my use of it. I was finding it hard, have found it hard, the panic and pressure has taken over and I have felt too concerned to do something 'good' for the people who have supported me to receive this. However I have worked a lot out. The turn around I think has been my mentoring sessions with Richard layzell and specifically a rural retreat I attnded organised by Anthony Roberts for artists in the East to re-group-group- discuss practice, share practice and work with artist Leslie Hill and Helen Paris. It was great to be back around like minded people, from my region, all who face the same problems and anxietys as me. Some too also benefiting from funding. The first night we were asked to create a Pecha Kucha Powerpoint, 20slides, 6 minuets. I had not created one of these before but found the task really useful. It hepled me understand much about mysefl, my work and how I operate as an artist. i identified a lack of content in my talk- the presentation filled with opportunitites I had been involved and presented the breadth of work I had made both collaboratively and solo but it lacked current content, current ideas and a current investigation- what am I making work about? What am I creating now? What are my ideas? This worried me but I knew it was this that I needed to start to spend time doing. I needed to foucus on the work- my work as just Holly- re discover my working practices and create some new work. It was a revelation but alos seemed daunting- again I was putting myself under pressure- I knew I had to do this but what were my ideas? and how would I start?.The weekend continued- I left briefly Saturday to perform with jenny as Hunt & Darton in Peckham for Mark McGowens Village idiot affair- A street performance. We did our performance on Peckham high street. I just went there, did it and returned to the retreat, just like that! I enjoyed performing in the public realm, hardly anyone was bothered. Using the loudspeaker outside changed the use of the loudspeaker massively.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Continued... Back at the retreat- shared concerns and needs for the region were shared- we identified what we had and where we wanted to go and what we needed to get there.  Confidence was a shared issue and in a bid to raise this Helen and Leslie created an exercise in which we fed single adjectives to each other as responses to how we perceived each others work, practice. I thought I would share with you the words fed back to me: Conceptual, energetic, has integrity, honest, ghosted by Ben, weird, quirky, thoughtful, more solo work please, confident, humorous and fun, genuine.  I left feeling uplifted, with a sense of belonging, exposed, but in a good way, wiser,  driven, normal and excited. The 12 participants created a syncronized swim on the Sunday for Ants birthday--we might do more.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 I have started to see again and since the retreat I meet Richard again to discuss my needs- I need to stop applying to opportunities and focus on the making, making solo work. But what is my solo work and how I do I make?We meet in Hertford this time- I'm on home territory and it feels good. We walk to my local pub and both avoid alcohol- we knew we had to sort this out once and for all- he knew he had to sort me out once and for all. Before this meeting I have got into creating 'agenda's' for mentoring sessions and any other associated meetings. I have found the format really useful and a productive way to get all the information across and identify needs. They usually start with 'news' then a mentoring agenda with notes, reminders and AOB. Richard had received this copy prior to our meeting.It was a pleasant evening, I was relaxed and found myself talking about my family, my up bringing, my parents and the village I lived in which is now where my studio is. Without knowing, this conversation had become interesting, filled with content, stories, a fondness and unease towards the information I was sharing. I had not spoke to Richard about my family before- he found it interesting, being out of London helped, I started to realise this was a big part of me that has been hidden up till now. It soon became clear that there was something in this to be explored.Richard Suggests another meeting- I suggest a workshop, Im fed up with talking about it, I need to start, to make, to 'feel' it to get physical, I want it to start so that I can continue, get going, be in it, find it again, I wanted that more than anything right now. He agreed- we set a date it would be in a week- we would meet in Sandon Village hall- I knew it well from my childhood and teenage years, it was a big part of my up bringing, my family, my mother and continues to be. We would start by playing with some materials.I was looking forward to it. Good news- I have written an artist statement-  This has given me much confidence. I thought it would never come.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 We have met and it went well- what we found in Sandon WAS interesting. I am now working in the village hall, it’s a new base for me and I’m collecting video footage, connecting with local businesses (Saddle menders and model aeroplane makers) and working with postage drawings (posting envelopes with chalks back to Sandon from Hertford and from Hertford to Sandon). I hope to then develop these 'accidental' drawings into performative actions/ movements. The day with Richard has allowed me to see how important I value drawing and how it has made up a large part on my practice. It has also given me much confidence in my ability to make/create/explore site and materials. Having Richard there also allowed me to see the village I was so familiar with objectively. I have now given myself permission to use it and can see how to use it.  During the day we also explored my own stories and verbally, creating a kind of video interview if you like. Initially I thought I would find this difficult but actually I can easier than I expected. Another possibility would be to develop these into a monologue of sorts. So, in short the ideas that have came out of this day are 1. Video interview/documentary/relaying stories about Sandon-the village and the activity in it- from memories and from knowledge of how it is now. 2. Drawing work- postage drawings. 3. Sculptural work- crap semi mechanistic sculptures that would work easier if there were two people but that have been adjusted so that they work with one person.  4. Telephone box (more later) and guerrilla performances. 5. Posters containing rules found around the village (My Mums posters, she always uses that font).  6.  Event late summer for villagers sharing my practice. 7. Aeroplane performance (possible learning to fly a model aeroplane around my parents 3 bed semi detached house.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Well, another packed week- I'm multi tasking and simultaniously collaborating, all good, my heads rather full though, but rather it was full with this than anything else. Last weekend I met to work with ben, as ben and Holly- the first time for two years. There's was a lot of aprehension and I struggled to talk first thing, It felt very precious for a while there, but we had a productive two days together. We are working specifically on a commissioned work for EEC platform at Queen Mary university on the 5th June. They have asked 10 artist from the past 10 years to return to the festival and present work. We are planning a performance that reworks two elements from our past work. We ended the weekend with three elements though, the live video link sitting opposite each other but not really opposite/virtually opposite, used in table for two in Edinburgh, past objects, DIY objects and stuff purchased together over the past 6 years and our journal from the Edinburgh fringe. Meeting up again felt very good, it also felt very exhausting, we have a history, and a lot of evidence of this history. Lots of memorys and stories filled the weekend, but fundamentally we still had a conection, a shared interest in materials and human relationships, and a desire to continue to expose our own relationship to visualise this.What came from the weekend was an understanding not felt previously and a sense of calm. Having both collaborated with a number of other artists seperately over the past 2 years has allowed us to see that feelings/frustrations etc... are not always specific to us as individuals- not personal, more of the experiences anyone goes through, more attached to the act of collaborating and making work rather than who it is with.We also left the weekend with ideas, several in fact, one in particular is to re-visit and re-stage past work/ past images/photographs. We agreed on two a year.  Here is some documentation form the weekend. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Further images from the first part of our weekend at artsadmin- exploration of materials and instructions. Setting tasks for each other and recording, filming or collaborating with each other on the outcome/response.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 After a full on weekend with Ben, I spend the week focusing on a solo performance I have in a weeks time at The Junction in Cambridge. I have proposed a piece called, 'Everybody standing around sniffing the platform at Hertford East where it always smells of urine'. This performance has been developed from its first presentation during a residency last summer at Courtyard art centre, its about the recession, still, and the universal smell of urine- global issues. I say I have been focussing on it this week, but actually found myself strangely avoiding it and coming up with new ideas. I was even for a moment there thinking of presenting the current rural work within this performance. I always do that, try and get everything that Im working on into one performance, it kind of dilutes it though and I'm left thinking, okay I've presented that now, what do I make work about now? so, luckely and after a good conversation with Jenny, I have decided to preserve the stuff I have only just started working with, for presentation in a year and stick to the original ethos of this performance. It was afterall all there, it didn't require new ideas or any extras, I had just forgotten it and forgotten what it was about. I have spent today revisiting it and refreshing it, bringing up to date and adjusting it in accordance to the space I have been given- a small office space.I'm happy about this and excited at the prospect of using and re-arranging the genuine contents.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Although there's the performance looming, and yes its existed in an entirely different order everyday this week, I have decided to share with you something else.  I received two letters today- I posted them to myself from Sandon back to Hertford. Last week I did the reverse and opened two more letters in Sandon. They are not letters however but drawings, mark making if you like. I think I mentioned this method a few weeks ago, well the exchange is up and running. The idea came out of the journeys I make between my studio in the village which was my ‘home’ and ‘home’ and then what was my ‘old home’ to what is now my ‘home’. And that both addresses are still associated with me. You never manage, however hard you try to stop some of your mail still going to your parents… unless they move I guess. It comes from feeling very distant from somewhere at times yet in terms of location and physicality it being quite close. Then there’s the ridiculousness of posting this letter to myself when really I could drive it between the places, I often do this, explore the insane, the unordinary and awkward, the very reason for doing something purely because normally you wouldn’t. It also attempts to celebrate the use of the post box, the royal mail, and the nostalgia of receiving a letter. Further more and initially it also came out of this idea of remembering and those addresses and telephones number that almost become embedded in your memory and what it would feel like to suddenly forget them and the resulting anxiety then in ensuring this doesn’t happen. In particular I have been focusing on my parents address and phone number, which were also my own growing up and between the age of 8 and 19.These ‘accidental drawings’ are created by the marks made during the process of the letters traveling from one location to the next, and therefore also attempt to visual the journey between one ‘home’ and another.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016  In addition to last week’s letters, I have also been physically representing the 'remembering' process- and exploring the use of a 'remembering game' if you like. Something that’s also came out of my workshop day in the village hall with Richard. He brought along some objects for me, a box of snakes, (quite literally) ribbon, chalk pastels, and a few other well-chosen items. I was immediately drawn to them, maybe because they were new to me? Maybe because they were nice objects, well chosen, complimentary of each other, if the mundane of objects can compliment. Colour wise they were appealing, warming; a breadth of pastel pinks, blues and greens... I knew I wanted to respond to this desire, to everything about these objects, from the way they had been placed on the table by Richard to the space between each object, the composition and the very fact that at that moment I wanted them to stay like that for ever. My initial reaction was to pin these objects down, secure them, and keep them just the way they were- I slowly drew around each object using chalk. This in itself allowing me to spend longer with each object as this process required a slow action, thought and a focus on the circumference of each object. It was this that led to considering the other things I wanted to keep hold of and lead me back to my thoughts on addresses and telephone numbers. What would happen if I forgot one day my old address? Or my parents address, my old, old address? Fundamentally I mean I would be okay, but would it scare me? I started to think it would, a whole memory wiped, a house wiped?  This consequently led to the accompanying image- a repetitive list in which I continuously listed the objects Richard had brought from memory, those objects I so wanted to remember, become precious over, trap, pin down- an obsession with recording and an untrust of the memory.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 From memory to desks....To accompany last weekends performance and the general concern with desks, I have had over the past year, I have be working on an exercise I set my self a couple of months ago. I have been collecting photographs of myself sitting at other peoples desks. 'Where I work I don't have a desk". This work supports my ideas surrounding the power of owning a desk, its reflection of the human condition, its daily changing association to success, money, global issues, the blurring of art and life, processes, day jobs, always being between to things rather than being fully in one, and the history of the desk. Again, what could be perceived as a 'naughty' exercise, these photographs are taken without the desk owner knowing.They are all taken using the self timer button and I only sit for a maximum of 30 seconds at each desk. I have tried to keep the pose consistent, but it is still very much a working idea. The images shown were mainly taken at the college I work at, late one Thursday evening after everyone had left. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 The past weeks have been amazing in every sense, two performances in two weeks, both new work, both very challenging, both very new experiences, both very different works. It feels good to be in the middle of this thickness, full, fullfilled, exhausted, excited about the future and anxious...as always...sorry!To sum up, which is the only way I feel I can discuss these events right now, I have learnt a lot. The junction performance, titled 'everyone standing around sniffing the platform at Hertford east' was me alone, solo and i was very nervous. The work had a lot going on in it, lots of ideas surrounding material, consumerism, control, performance for the sake of performing, the blurring of art and life, current PM spending issues, guilt to name a few. I was also in an office space, a statement in itself which i kept overlooking. I performed twice, i used dialogue and action, I knew what i was doing, I had a format, and script if you like and an order, to remember. One bit went out of order, it threw me, i rushed the rest, i was left feeling young, naive, exposed and the underdog, all of which felt worse because I was a 'escalator artist'-  someone whom had been invested in over other artist, selected on the basis of my work and practice and now this... (I was performing at an escalator venue), of course this is only existing in my head, it was not the feedback I got, not that the feedback i got was great, just non, and that the limited space of the office was interesting as the audience felt very near each other in a awkard way. It was also said to be very much about control- hilariously! The second day went much better, I had time alone, to digest the previous day, decided to change the beginning, I wanted to be in the room when people arrived, already doing something, so to dilute the start somewhat. I spent more time in the office space and began to see it. I decided to make more of the space, use its contents, celebrate its contents, call its contents the work- the printer turning out a sheet of paper, the phone on loud speaker, the opening of the windows, the light on and off. The highlight and most enjoyable moments was when I asked the audience to collectively help me move a book shelf across the office. The weakness, not knowing it was about control until after the performance. I felt i had found myself in the work more. I am left still questioning the directness of the performance, the direct communication with the audience? What my role is in the work?Who I am in this performance? Some people left looking like they didn't get anything from it, others laughing and smiling. The performance with Ben was very different...     ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 So...as I was saying the performance with Ben was very different. I was not having to remember any script or order, it was not rehearsed, i was not directly communicating with the audience, i was not alone. I was calm. I had after all performed the week before, Ben had not performed for 2 years, we had not performed together for two years. I felt older and wiser- more mature, more able to enjoy it. this marked an interesting stage in the history of Ben and Holly. It feels like a new chapter rather than a picking up of the old chapter. this is refreshing.We read our journals from Edinburgh, simultaniously, we dunk past objects used in performances in paint, shredded journals and coffee, we repeat this.It was durational- an hour, we could have gone on longer. It felt hard work and focussed. I felt it more deeply inside than recent performances. I think this is because the nature of this type of performance feels more soulful. Because of its absence in directness I could feel it more rather speak it. It wasn't just about the audience as the work with Jenny and recent desk work is, its about me and me and ben in this case, our relationship with each other and materials, it felt much more about my passion to be creative than a passion to be entertaining, which is not really a passion of mine, more of a tool to communicate stronger ideas.Today I feel at home, the work with Ben has now had closure, I've got closure on it, and feel excited about the prospect of completing this new performance in the future.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 So...after these great chances to perform of late, I return to re-examining my Escalator project. Where am I in it? What have I done? How is it going? How’s my expenditure looking and where am I going to take the next 4 months of the project? Its a funny thing really, your realise that when you finally get funding for something, in this case R&D to continue establishing a solo identity, developing new work with Jenny and Ben, raising professional profile, blog and creating a website, that you suddenly feel like you need to be busting your ass creatively to justify your funding, and on reflection the whole point of the R&D time is to not let this happen, this is what happens outside of funding right? When you’re balancing day jobs with creativity and working all the hours under the sun to get stuff done? Well no, in my case I’m still busting my ass, but I think that’s my own problem in not being able to fully manage funded time, its quite, in fact very, overwhelming really, which is essentially ridiculous, because we all know that it is more than okay to get paid for making artwork, that’s what we all fight for right? But it still feels weird when it happens and in a strange way you feel like you need to work double as you would normally to justify the funding, but we forget what we usually do is essentially for free, its hard to make that shift in what you already do for free to suddenly become funded for a while? It’s hard to shift mentally from making work for year’s predominately unpaid to getting paid and its easy then to overlook what you already do! Don't get me wrong; the funding is great in allowing uninterrupted time to focus on my practice. And of course I’m making more work because I have uninterrupted periods of time to do so, however there’s always a niggling of expectation and the responsibility to do something productive or maybe I mean produce a product, because the project is funded. I guess when you work outside of funding, if its more risky it doesn’t really matter, but, although the funders have no expectations, somehow, I don’t know if its just me, I feel as though I need to do something really ground breaking!(In two parts due to word count- this needs to be read with next part and doesn't exist without it!)   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 continued from last post.... I have managed to cut down hours lecturing during this project and have regular mentoring, something invaluable when you have been making work for 8 years but still need now more than ever to discuss it with someone outside of the work. It has also allowed me to reflect and take time to digest the last 5 years of working predominately with Ben. This too feels initially unproductive but I need to keep reminding myself this ‘time’ is not for just doing, manically, but also thinking, looking back, drawing conclusions, analyzing what’s happened, where I am now, how I got here, where I want to go etc…etc…. Of course, I guess I’m sounding like I’d prefer not to have funding and that would be very wrong. I wouldn’t be able to sit down this afternoon, reflecting and writing this if I hadn’t got it, too busy with other stuff, and am unsure of the future after it, it has had such an impact on me as an artist, my work and its development and I am certainly in a different position than I was before it, professionally, creatively and within my own self confidence and clarity and its not over yet. What I am discussing in this post is the illogical feelings that sometimes arise when things are going well, in the hope I am not alone. It’s not a reflection of the funding system or of my views towards funding, but simply a sharing of my feelings and anxieties, however stupid. To finish I had a funny conversation with a man in the pub last week. He asked me how I get paid as an artist. I told him about this recent funding, and how although it was not a long-term wage it was a chance to pay myself for some time out of my normal paid work to focus on the development of my practice. He asked where this came from, I answered, the arts council, he asked where do they get there money from I hesitated and suggested the government, he answered with, oh so its my taxes then… I replied, its not like I’ve built myself a duck pond or anything! The paranoia is setting in, its like some great big cycle that’s been in orbit for years has revealed itself and everyone’s got a heighten awareness of exactly how the system works…I laughed it off, justified the pint as not coming from the funding and luckily he broke into a smile too…I left the pub and headed back to my studio to bury the guilt!    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 As I mentioned this blog forms part of my current R&D project and is being used as a way to reflect on the project, share the project with others and log the project for future presentation and evaluation. Blogs are great for this and although I do not use a blog always, I have in the past used blogs alongside specific projects. An example is the use of a blog during a 23 days durational performance made with Ben for the Edinburgh Fringe in 2006. It became a great way for us to share the experience of the work with others, especially those not able to travel to see the work in edinburgh. It also acted as a shared space that Ben and I could both write on, but remain one document. The blog from Edinburgh is still being used by us now, not to write on but as material to feed back into live works, most recently the EEC performance. So loads of great reasons to use blogs both as tools but also as works in themselves. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016     After a hectic week, I feel the need to write again. Not sure if its being led by guilt due to not writing for a week or guilt due to not focusing on any of my recent investigations for a week! Although my current project is uninterrupted time for R & D within that un-interruption, there are interruptions, and this mainly revolves around my part time lecturing. This week however, it has felt more like 'full-time'. What with student shows, assessment and private views galore, I have been thoroughly transported away from a personal focus and sucked completely into the future of others- to be specific, art students. This experience, although leaving me feeling slightly distracted for a week from my own work, has in away allowed me to reflect on my own journey since leaving my Foundation year in 2000. In doing so not only do I really feel my age, I also reminisce how exciting being an art student is and the impact it has on all you share life with- family, friends. Witnessing the faces of my student’s parents during the private view, I knew marked a shift in the relationship they would now have with their son/daughter. It was the start of something new and would be the turning point of which there would be no return. Gone are the A-level paintings, welcome to the real world- the art world! It has been a poignant week in many ways. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Yesterday, I met with Jenny (I’m talking Hunt & Darton mode a bit now); we had our first activity day. To explain, we decided last month that we wanted more activity in our collaboration, less hard slog, but more opportunities to share physical activity together, of which this experience will feed back into our practice. We decided activity days, once every two months would suit as best, and that we would alternate in who would devise and organise the activity- anything from ditch walking (Holly) to a karaoke session (Jenny). This activity, not only allows us rest bite and the chance to make more of our lives like most that choose to pursue a recreational activity, it also allows us to experience further what it means to be human, what it means to have an activity, and hobby, a physical interest and in doing so what that teaches us about what it means to be human, beyond what we already know and experience and how those outside of a certain activity may see it as rather absurd behavior. Yesterday’s activity day would focus on songs written by women for women, the majority of which reflect on love. This activity day was slightly more tailored to an up coming performance at a live art festival themed around Music in Norwich in July. After purchasing the top women songs compilation album, we selected lines from the lyrics that we liked, fragmented, ordered, came up with a few moves, my favorite an awkwardly long synchronized backing singer style movement, to no music and we couldn’t quite believe we had created a 7min performance! Not only a achievement in itself, and on reflection allowing us to see these success of these activity days, it also allowed us to work out that we can create 1 minuet of a performance per hour. Good to know! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Yesterday, I met with Jenny (I’m talking Hunt & Darton mode a bit now); we had our first activity day. To explain, we decided last month that we wanted more activity in our collaboration, less hard slog, but more opportunities to share physical activity together, of which this experience will feed back into our practice. We decided activity days, once every two months would suit as best, and that we would alternate in who would devise and organise the activity- anything from ditch walking (Holly) to a karaoke session (Jenny). This activity, not only allows us rest bite and the chance to make more of our lives like most that choose to pursue a recreational activity, it also allows us to experience further what it means to be human, what it means to have an activity, and hobby, a physical interest and in doing so what that teaches us about what it means to be human, beyond what we already know and experience and how those outside of a certain activity may see it as rather absurd behavior. Yesterday’s activity day would focus on songs written by women for women, the majority of which reflect on love. This activity day was slightly more tailored to an up coming performance at a live art festival themed around Music in Norwich in July. After purchasing the top women songs compilation album, we selected lines from the lyrics that we liked, fragmented, ordered, came up with a few moves, my favorite an awkwardly long synchronized backing singer style movement, to no music and we couldn’t quite believe we had created a 7min performance! Not only a achievement in itself, and on reflection allowing us to see these success of these activity days, it also allowed us to work out that we can create 1 minuet of a performance per hour. Good to know! A more epic activity starts next week. We are heading to Gower to take part in a horse riding week. I had proposed a residency period with Jenny for this Escalator project. With this recent interest in recreational residency and having already spent much time working in a theatre for a performance earlier this year we decided that this residency would be best for us if it were to incorporate some kind of activity. Accidently stumbling on an article in the local paper about a horse riding centre in Wales, we knew this was it.  We have decided to keep a blog during the week, a separate one to this, so look out for it also on AN talking!  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Finally, a bit of time again. After another hectic week lecturing, I am finally finished with that side of things until september. The next 3 months will be crucial in getting my head down with completing the rest of my proposed escalator project. Although on track (I hadn't realised until I read back through my proposal and thought, yes, i'm doing it) theres alot of the pysical stuff left to pursue. This although gives me most pleasure is also tough and really hits home the transition from collaborative practice to solo and the gaps between collaborative performance and solo visual art bits and bobs. So I will be residing back in Sandon (the village) daily after the next week in Gower, and plan to get more of a grip on these feelings surrounding 'home' memory, family, upbringing, rural life and key spaces such as the village hall and the phonebox, all of which sit deep in my own childhood, and the period of which I grew from the age of 8 to 18.  Yesterday I visit my parents and asked for a few key photos I remembered being taken in the village hall. These are of joint birthday party's at the hall with my brother. What I really find interesting in these images is what my parents are doing to entertain and create games among the 30 or so 7-9 year olds and there enthusiasm and ability to collaborate to provide such unique and entertaining environments. i find their presence very performative and physical and hope to re-enact some of these images in the hall over the next month. Im not sure where they will lead or how interesting they are to others but I am not going down that road yet- it feeds negativity and its hard enough to dip into this past as it is!   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 My uncles over from Australia, an artist and head of a Fine art practice BA course at western australia university until the recent closure of the course. I am hoping to meet him next week, and excited at the prospect of discussing work with him as an adult (the last time I saw him I was 15 or so...). I have read about much of his early work, letters my mum kept from him and find his work has parallels in places with my own investigations, performative, a love of drawing, collaborative at times and operating under a guise; a name constructed from a jumbling of his own name. Originally my mum had arranged for him to visit her and then we would all have to be at hers that day (The siblings that is). However because of Gower i will miss this occasion and I am pleased. It would be a day controlled by my mother and would not be a true reflection of her children who are now adults. We would be seen within the 2 point 4 children setting, with a diluted identity and one shadowed by childhood and I am happy to have a reason to meet him alone and share with him who I am not who I may perceive to be..is that bad? ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Whilst 'home', I also decided to look for a photograph that I knew I had seen before, and of a memory that is far greater than that of just the photo, a memory of not only a day, but also a moment in which I worked with my Dad on a project I had devised- to make a hobby horse for a local hobbyhorse day being held in Wallington, the next village to ours. The day involved a hobbyhorse show, with prizes fro best hobbyhorse, best groom, best rider etc... I did not have a hobbyhorse so embark on designing and making one with the help of Dad. Among other things we were thrilled when we decided to get hold of some real horses hair from a horse riding centre my dad worked on as a handyman, pulled from the barbed wire fences enclosing the horses. I would be the groom- dad the rider! It was serious stuff, and we won! This day sprung to mind when considering my relationship with horses, in order to prepare for the Gower residency. On Saturday, after spending the day in Colchester it sprung to mind that there were some key photos such as this one with hobbyhorse that could potentially link in with the project. Another also shown, my first riding experience at the age of 1 and an half. Not only do these photo track my own history but again echo the enthusiasm and playful nature my parents live by and their overwhelming support in all that wanted to achieve. This is starting to take shape more in my head, and although I am aware of things potentially  becoming self indulgent. I am still keen to present this information in some format that becomes more universal and interesting to others.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 So, I find myself in Gower, its a little rainy, but today is 'rest day', no riding and so I find time to tell you about a blog I am keeping with Jenny, alongside this one, specifically for our residency. The address is www.huntanddarton.blogspot.com. Although its not a AN blog (Because we wanted equal access and although I have a number of times verbally sold Jenny AN membership, she has not made it happen yet ) it is a blog and like this one, forming a large part of the mini Wales project within the grander scheme of the ongoing Escalator project. The difference, that blog remains much more creative, and less chatty than this one and is working as a good tool to start to edit what we are seeing and experiencing, moving the raw material closer to some kind of interpretation and sculpting ready for further development and editing once back in England. We have been focussing specifically on collecting data relating to our growing relationship with our designated horses, people moral, langauge, chat and instructions. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016  After a really good and productive experience in Gower, in residence with Jenny I return to normality for a while, well for a week anyhow.  Whats been different; I have developed a love of horses- found a male that I don't have the upper hand over (-Darbs, an flea bitten grey horse!), miss spending day after day scouring uneven terrain in all weathers, have discovered new ways to use a blog creatively, have discovered a new confidence with text/words in performance, have found some new ways to introduce new materials into the performance work such as collage, video and drawing and have had to re adjust to viewing the world at an eye level of 5.5ft rather than 6.2ft. With such a rich experience, excellent use of a blog (www.huntanddarton@blogspot.com) and new and fresh working methods I have decided to embark on another residency process. Only this time at my studio in Sandon to crack on with the much talked about 'Sandon work' which makes up most of the creative processes proposed in my Escalator project. I will be living out of my flat for a week, and working in my studio and in and around the village of Sandon. The time away has given me much clarity on this work and allowed for editing and conclusion with many of the ideas I have been juggling with. Current ideas stand at: • 4 acts around village:- 1. Telephone box- paint, attach new door, film- youth, graffiti, social change. (Film and photo post and pre action). 2. Mend village road sign- create new signs, introduce colour. 3. Plant flowers, create shape based on "you have to go away before you can come back". Horse shoe, curvaceous shape of sorts. To go on village green. 4. Re-design youth club poster. • Cut grass on village green - 1 day durational project. • Road surfaces- London- Hertford-Sandon- corn, strawberries, salt, sugar- staining. • Presentation event in Village hall late August.          ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Sandon: Day 1 Rules •Children must be accompanied by a responsible adult.   •It is now costing us to have waste removed. Take your rubbish home with you. •Recycle as much waste as possible. •The council now gives permission for this land to be entered on foot for recreation only, but this permission may be withdrawn at any time. •No cycling. •Danger fragile roof, use crawling boards. − Matt- not sure how we will hang it. (In response to me asking him if he would make me a door for the telephone box. − Goose- 5 kids were not scared, they said it had bit their dogs bum, but that their mate hit it with a tennis racket and now it doesn't come near them. They had bread too. − 0-touching 10- more than five meters Contact with telephone box 20/07/09= 0 − Fertilizer came in 3 lorry loads. White against royal blue. Feminine somehow. Small white grains, dust, movement, repetition, maneuver, backwards and forwards, collaboratively, instruction, signal, up, down, swinging, elevated, ordered, large, hard and soft, labeled, noisy, action, event. - Sandon is split between two ordinate survey maps. 553 and 554. you have two buy two to get the full picture!      ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 Day 2: Quote for door came back as £375 + VAT. More than I was expecting and showing no signs of charity. Rethink- Toms Dad! He would do it for half the price- A better option also as I will be able to get more involved (hopefully), just worried about his motivation- Im going to have to do some monitoring, which is slightly uncomfortable. Apparently the key is to give a deadline! — White gloss paint, unforgivingly is never as you imagine it to be on a surface. How does it do that- manage to erase its presents from your memory- only for you to make the same errors with it. — No action on farm today- no deliveries, no farm workers, no traffic, no dogs. The rains not good for the harvest. Corn gets flattened, delay in harvesting, delay in harvest being over. (Saw the farmer's son in Tesco last night, failed to see his purchases). — No kids in village Only event- a royal mail van had boken down, flat tyre by the look of things. — Decided on the shape for the flowers- developed from some mapping exercises. — Decided on date for sharing of work with villagers- been negotiating the village hall. Thursday 28th and Friday 29th. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 I have decided on a new sign- Tokyo: 5988 miles> − Ideas- update: •Video footage of Hertford/London/Sandon with a focus on Roads. − Commentary: Some things take a longer time to make than you expect. When I think of an idea I fail to spend any time thinking about the practicality of making, time, and costs. What appears to be small is actually quite large. What appears to be quick is actually quite long. There's more work to it than I thought. It all costs something that has not been costed. Will it all get stolen? or worse vandalized and left there, only half of it, hanging by its corner, split, broken, swinging in the wind, up side down, soggy, wet and ugly?    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 The Door- an update. So I'm learning a lot fast, about how to deal with chippies! New quote: £327 without VAT with materials. Better, but still a little above budget. Im brave and re negotiate- I share my budget (he's nearly family...see below) ...£200 all inclusive, thats the max, even if it becomes a bigger job, something goes wrong, thats all Ive got. I need a witness here, there's whiskey on the go, I wanted it in writing but thought that was taking it to far... What I learnt: •Remember that it is important to get a price before thinking it will definately happen and that you will go ahead with it what ever the cost. •Never tell your budget •I want to receive a quote, they want to give an estimate •Get several quotes, look at the difference go for the middle one. Never go for the lowest. •Read the small print and challange the wording if necessary  —          ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016 From Sandon to Norwich, from Telephone boxes and chippies to all female performance with the titles 'women, what are they all about/ or ladies, ladies, ladies and their ways...' Yes, A true reflection of my practice and my collaborations I am in Hunt & Darton mode just like that, a mental quick shift and Im all things music. We perform as part of Richard DeDominici's music night at Norwich arts centre. An exciting little evening and a good chance to catch up with some reoccurring faces that we have found ourselves hanging at the bar with numerous times this year at similar events. After spending the day completing the work and racing on down, we arrive a little silient towards each other and a little anxious. I was about to perform again, in a performative way,it was stand up I mics, spoken and sung words with moves. It was in a bar, it was up front and live! We deconstructed several songs from the the album 'Women'; top 100 songs. Both singing and predominately saying the words the work remained pretty awkward but did attempt to look at what women actually sing about. Ho do I manage to do this- often feeling like a multitude of artists in one, luckily it went down well and we got a few laughs. We left conclusion we work to hard and need to at times make the work a little more commercial. What i mean by that is give them more I guess, something obvious at times, and its okay, in fact it helps with the more absurd bits. We need to consider what we wear a little more. We dressed right down for this, but I think that backfired and actually the audience may have been more comfortable if we were in constume? We though our next activity day could explore this.        ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/473016