http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 The Shape of Things (Alinah Azadeh) Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:46:39 +0000 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://www.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 This blog contains 2 months of backdated entries as the programme has only just launched publicly. I will begin with a passage from my own outline based on what I proposed when I applied.   ‘I would like to develop a large scale installation using woven, bound and wrapped objects in response to Museum collections, location histories and with the input of BME communities accessed through the venue. I am interested in the crossover between anthropology, intercultural identity, social psychology and the metaphor of the woven/crafted object to create intensely interactive ‘live’ work within a public context.   I wish to investigate the ancient ritual of wrapping and binding objects which denote power and meaning within both ancient and contemporary societies, using this as a channel for individual and collective self-reflection.   The objects and their stories contributed would be of personal significance and become transformed through the wrapping and sharing process. These objects would be something the ‘Giver’ was ready to let go of and represent a narrative they were happy to place within a public context.   I would use workshops to explore issues hands-on through textile media and writing, generate the seeds of the finished work with them and then do finishing and structuring work myself to create a major floor or wall work within a large space. I would also consider the second stage of the work to be a live event open to a wider public who extend the piece through offering their own contribution fro transformation.   These objects will speak of ancient and contemporary identity narratives and be a powerful metaphor for the connection between the artist, the space and the community. I would have overall aesthetic control of the work and the wrapping materials used to transform the objects could range from materials which have been donated, found, recycled and selected by myself. The transmission of the memory/narrative associated with the object would be the ultimate  ‘gift’ that these objects would represent within the context of the piece. I envisage these donated narratives to be written or drawn and to be wrapped around the objects, as well as recorded onto sound before this was done’.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Alternative Selection processes I must mention the selection process for this scheme, as it was quite unique. We were 11 artists, a group of venue curators/gallery managers, a publisher and the Shape of things team. I can’t remember the name of the method used but basically the venues presented themselves one by one, followed by the artists. I went last and was extremely nervous by the time my turn came, having seen a whole range of amazing work…. Though I was also aware that my practice, which is intensely interdisciplinary and interactive had its own place as I am not someone with a long history of making, like many of the others who had mostly mastered one or two particular forms of applied arts. I guess I am coming firstly from a conceptual/metaphorical  place and so hopefully this complimented the mix of practices presented.   After a break there were two rotating, round table, speed-dating type sessions, the first was 10 mins (?) on one general subject each, e.g. aims of the scheme, marketing, etc. We had badges with different colour codes, as did the tables to ensure everyone got to talk to everyone.  The second one really w as like speed double –dating as one venue hosted each table and two artists met with them to discuss how a possible partnership with that particular venue might work. It was all incredible intense but very holistic and I did feel inspired and like I had had a chance to express everything I wanted to. But then I like to talk about my work and the issues related to this bursary are close to my heart….This process might not suit someone whose primary focus is on making and not also on the discourse surrounding their work.   It must have been hard to select from 11 artists to 8 and I don’t yet know who the other artists are as nothing has gone to press yet but would have loved to have listened in on the conversation after we left and the venues/organisers had a discussion together. I think we were all pretty exhausted and blown away and it understandably took a few weeks before a decision was made as there was the complex business of matching up artists with venues in a way which worked for everyone.   If you want to know which the other venues are you can go to ‘The Shape of Things’ website which gives full info on the scheme and those involved. It is a three-year scheme and myself and the other artist selected for Bristol – Rosa Nguyen-  are the first to show (Feb–April 2010)  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 First Bristol meeting  (1) I just had my first trip up to Bristol. As well as the excitement of a museum project/solo show on the horizon, there is also the added bonus of some really good friends plus some family who live there who I will now get to see on a regular basis for the next year.   I met with Julia Carver, who is the assistant curator at the museum and my main contact. She seems very sensitive and open and looks like a pre-raphaellite painting, with a wonderful profile and poetic demeanour. I also met the Exhibitions Manager Phil, Reetha who works in the community development section and Louise who is the Learning /Participation Officer.  There is a lot to plan for so we talked over some practical issues plus some ideas based on my proposal, which will no doubt develop and adapt to the space and audience (especially having just done The Bibliomancer’s Dream’ at Southbank where I learnt a lot about interactive work in densely occupied spaces!).   Julia showed me around the museum, it is a beautiful space and has been carefully curated with an emphasis on appealing to families. What do I remember? A David Bomberg painting  (the teacher of my first drawing teacher, Roy Oxlade) among a collection of interesting modern work, an array of large stuffed animals, a small deep blue glass vessel, the old maps of Bristol around the first floor atrium space, the enormous books in the curators office, as tall as my daughter.   I have till September to research and develop my ideas to a point where we can start to plan the exhibition and start talking with the 3D designer, the marketing team etc. That isn’t really very long although the seed of this idea has been with me for many years and I think it will find its form comfortably within this time.    I am also back in the studio continuing to work on my ‘Gifts of the Departed’ series which I realise is very much related to this project and has pre-empted it in some way. For the selection we had to take an object along and I took my first piece in the series, apprehensive as to the reaction since it feels so new. The response was very positive and this has helped me to decide on investing in a good chunk of time over the next few months to make a series of up to 20 pieces. I enjoy the relied of working with my hands on something small after so many big commissions and teams of people over the last year, it is a real and intimate treat. Also, having a space in Pop-up studios here in the old fire brigade buildings overlooking the river in Lewes here is such a privilege and gives me the space I need to really focus away from family and domestic /professional concerns.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 First Bristol meeting  (2) I spent the afternoon at the Museum and then returned the next day. I wanted to see the Egyptian exhibition and also the China temporary show. I went first to the Egyptian one to look specifically at the way their designer had developed the space. I liked the way he had created a 3D timeline with a collection of small scale mummy models, suspended in blue –lit space, linked by symbolic lines of history that you had to peek through hard to get the whole picture of. There was an Egyptian ball… made of old cloth and bound round with twine-it had charisma and strange to think it was a plaything now sitting behind a glass panel. I was drawn to it as am looking for objects that haven been wrapped or bound or relate to ancestry, personal power or have changed radically in use.   The Assyrian panels were the real pull. Of course there was an instant recognition, with my Iranian heritage of these huge figures carved into stone, in profile with their eagle eyes and coiled locks. I have seen such figures at Persepolis in Iran when I went there with my mother in 1992 . An extraordinary woman appeared at one of the doorways - a local gypsy who looked like she had time travelled there, with the eagle profile, darkest black hair and pitch black eyes Mainly it was her charisma I was so struck by –that of a living goddess. Of course, pure romantic projection on my part. It was a fleeting moment which I have always wanted to develop a painted image from but haven’t so far.   So, back to the panels,. I sensed my mother’s interest from beyond the grave as I stopped to sketch these powerful winged beings, the Apkalle. They were there to guard the King from evil influences’ and carried a bag/bucket containing a ‘magical substance ‘. What was this? Was it a physical thing or an invisible charm? They also carried a pinecone, to ‘scatter magic’…How do you imbue something with such power, is it mainly the taught belief that it is powerful that makes it so?    I read through the text about the piece and what struck me the most was that when the city, Nimrud  (where these were found) which was the northern capital of the expanding Assyrian empire was finished in 860BC, the King Ashnurasipal II gave a feast lasting 1 days for 69,574 guests! How did they count the guests, how long did it take to cook the food? What did they eat? I love feasts as part of the ritual of art, but this takes the cake.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 First Bristol meeting  (3) TEXTS FOR THE AFTERLIFE   While sketching the Assyrian Panels, I remembered a dream I had about my mother about a year after she had died. In her life, she always wore the Zoroastrian symbol around  her neck, the Apkalle made of gold. To her, It was a symbol of recognition of what Iran was before Islam came along and tried to destroy (but luckily failed). In the dream she had hooked up with one of the great Kings and was complaining about how demanding he was and how exhausted she was getting! There was an exasperated fondness in her voice and I woke up feeling amused at how typical of my mother this would be.   I loved looking at the cuneiform script inscribed into the panels, some flowing across the image itself. I noted down the production process as I found it interesting; ‘Alabaster slabs were set up around the room to be made. Artists drew the design and masons/artists carved them in relief. Scribes then wrote out the text and the masons (who were illiterate so did not understand what they were writing) cut the cuneiform into relief. ‘ Is there power in the physical creation of a text if you don’t know what it means? What was the status of the masons compared to the artists compared to the scribes in those days?   I spent my last hour at the China show, freshly curated space aimed at younger audiences with a real playful feel.   The objects that caught my eye were; - A funerary land deed (AD1626, Jing Dezchen, Jiang Xi province) written on blue on white ceramic recording personal + family history  + written for a ‘bureaucratic spirit world’ .God forbid they have bureaucrats in the afterlife but it made for an interesting object and idea. Creating objects for an afterlife?  A possible starting point. Both Egyptian and the Chinese have examples of these developed n very different ways.   - A scroll written on by Mao Ze Ting of The Long march’ . The totally erratic flow of his writing compared to the land deed was what struck me. I couldn’t stop looking at it.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Second Trip to Bristol Museum (March)   On the train up I read some of Lewis Hyde’s book  ‘ The Gift; The Artist and Creativity in the Modern world’. It is the perfect book for my current ideas, and me and I know what gift and exchange will be a core force in the participatory aspect of this project. He was talking about collective self-knowledge through the Gift I think, and I read the part about the historical circular nature of gift giving in ancient societies:   ‘When the gift moves in a circle, its motion is beyond the control of the personal ego and so each bearer must be a part of the group and each donation is an act of sound faith’    I have been thinking a lot about legacy and Gift donations . Since it is within a museum context, I took a look at the admin and processes that already exist for the gift donation of objects to the museum.   We looked at the Register books – these detail the narrative of the objects donated to the museum as follows: Number : date : name : how acquired :description : annotation. Each object has an accession number – they are on index cards detailing each objects. It is slowly being transferred to database but it was great to see it on old paper and bond books, I think I will use this as  a reference.   Julia also showed me the Solander boxes which look like large fake books , to keep specimens insulated. Solander designed them on Joseph Banks’ South Sea Voyage. I quite like the feel of them. There is also the possibility of using cases, though I am aware that for the main work I want it to be physically as accessible as possible. So these may be good for some selected archive pieces that relate to the concept and maybe a couple of my own individual wrapped works.   What am I asking people to give me to become part of the work? Ideas so far: An object they –no longer need or want. An object that represents an area of their life that is over. An object they would like to send into an imaginary after life (too esoteric?) An object  that represents their legacy to the world in this life (too overwhelming?) I am very aware that this piece may be acquired by the museum after the show and so scale and storage are  an issue. The object given must fit into the palm of the hand. Transaction What is the transaction between myself and the public? A bill of money (poetic currency) or a gift certificate to acknowledge receipt of the object.? Or simply a  copy of the Register book entry?   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804  Second Trip to Bristol Museum (2) Julia arranged a meeting with Sue Giles , the Ethnographic curator who gave us a Store tour . Based on the kind of objects I had expressed interest in, (divination objects, objects using text and textile, wrapped and bound objects) she showed us ; A Sumatran calendar, engraved on a bamboo stick. A ‘Book of the Chicken’ – a divination book,concertina style, with all kinds of symbols and codes. A Larger palm leaf book which was beautiful and mysterious to take in.   She explained that ‘the past is often seen as the present’ in ethnography. So she has started a new collection of contemporary objects. Among these I saw some Guatemalan weaving and looms . Also, some modern Cofradia robes (for spiritual ceremonies) . A woven wristband from New Guinea and a woven elbow bangle. She carefully unwrapped all of these out of  tissue paper, as if lovingly undressing a small infant.   I asked about ideas around containing the power of objects and she told us about the tradition of ‘Killing an object’ – eg breaking a spear or piercing a ball so it went into the  afterlife . When I said this idea of piercing objects could be of interest in relation to how I would hang them (in the event of a suspended work)  she reacted as if I were proposing to pierce a live being  and the pain of object was real! This was interesting as she is obviously someone who has great reverence and responsibility for the well being of objects and it struck me how much I would like her to gift an object into the work. Then I realised we have to invite all of the staff to do this, it is the logical place to begin.   I am thinking of where to start re wrapping objects -  myself, the staff and then the public makes sense . I am going to draft a LETTER OF INVITATION asking  staff donate objects and also to raise awareness and create ownership of the project . The text for this needs to be very concise, clear and inspiring. I am thinking of asking for an unwanted physical object and also for a desired emotional object for the future which they would like to see realised. I am not sure what this means yet but it feels like there needs to be a system of exchange within the gift transaction itself. So the gifting to the work offers something back to the giver, ie the possibility that their emotional object . a hope, wish, intention, desire, creative thought or plan – can be made real through the power of residing, written, in the art work itself. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Second Trip to Bristol Museum (3)   The next day we met Kate Newnham - the Middle Eastern /Islamic curator, full of great references around gifting/text/textiles, among them - Darum Dolls –  used by Buddhist monks in Japan, they bring good luck to the start of  a project . Drawing an open eye on an object brings it to life again , so they draw one eye at the start of a project and a second eye at the end to mark the end of it. I like this idea…   There are treasure houses in Temples in Japan where they wrap objects like lacquered bowls in textiles to preserve them. In China, impressions of fabric on bronze statues in tombs have been found – the textile has fused with the object it has embraced. In India, the Hindus clothe their religious figures. She also mentioned Furoshiki, the art of wrapping gifts in cloth, which I knew about already and I just ordered a book on and aim to learn in order to use in this project.   Kate also gave me a copy of  ‘Declaration of a Gift’  form  for staff use . She said that Return gifts must be  always be ready  -particularly for Japanese collleagues - to reciprocate so as not to offend. On the form there is a heading:  ‘Reason for accepting gift ’ She normally replies ‘It was culturally inappropriate to refuse’.  Space I so love the space in the front atrium and I had explored the possibility of a suspended work, did some rough sketching and measuring and visualising. However although I think a suspended work could be spectacular , with an immediate impact as you walk into the Museum, I am concerned about he distance between the viewer and the work, especially since I want to use texts and smallish objects. It’s become clear that the work needs to sit on the floor and be grounded, as well as in close proximity to the public. There needs to be space around it to be written into by the public, textile texts of some sort. So its back to the temporary gallery, a shame I won’t use the atrium but it feels inappropriate to the concept of this particular work. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I have had quite a week of decluttering, and have ended up with a large bag of clothes/ materials as well as a small bag of objects (which I will detail at some point) to begin my wrapping with. It felt very liberating to choose these to become part of the piece, rather than put them back on a box and not know what to do with them, a space got created inside. I also found some video footage from a documentary made about Dying that I was part of, a short piece form one of the other interviewees commenting on my mothers death and its connection to my children which was a very moving moment and got me present to her strong and eternal presence in my life, especially as an artist. Right now I am working on wrapping her rice cookers  and feel particularly connected to her, and I know that this process, which feeds into this commission, will bring up some powerful experiences for those who engage with it and allow the emotional space to work for them. I am laying things to rest with gratitude and preparing the foundations of this very public work with my own personal, small scale pieces.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Methodology / Engagement   ‘YOU ONLY POSSESS ANYTHING THAT WOULD NOT BE LOST IN A SHIPWRECK’ (Sufi Saying)    We have started thinking of who I might be able to work with in a more small scale way through workshops on the issues of the project. They have suggested a few different groups with an existing connection to the Museum which we will decide on in our next meeting. I am keen to have a very clear sense and outline  of what the engagement will look like before jumping into it, and this is bound up with the concept and form of the work itself. It seems to be unfolding itself quite nicely at the moment though, like a gift. I realise that my process is that I always engage with part of myself first to get clear a to what kind of relationship and meaning I am offering through the work. Part of this is making, which I ma starting to do in  my studio. Then I  will have a (flexible ) blueprint which leads me to an engagement with others which can be integral to the work. This will be a specific group, an intimate encounter. From this the core questions of the work  will become clearer still and I can then offer up the engagement to the mass public through the larger scale piece. It is really like an unfolding.. In this case, the relationship will begin earlier as I am asking the public to connect with the project via an object before the show opens, with little visual knowledge of how it will become part of the piece.    In terms of engagement during the show itself,  I think the idea of the public (both those who gifted and those who did not)  writing down an ‘emotional object’ The question posed will be broad enough for those  who already gifted to reflect on how  giving me the object impacted them or what it made space for. For the remaining public, this could be a personal hope, desire, intention, something connected with a  desire the future not linked to an real object.  This would mean that on a daily basis, text could be written into the exhibited space on textile strips , to contextualise and add layers of meaning to the collection of objects that will form the main artwork. This all needs more specific consideration and discussion with Julia and David but I feel its in the right direction and ties in with ideas around cultural legacy and creating a broad conceptual /visual space for dialogue and diversity which are at the heart of the work. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 David Kay, Shape of Things Director, asked me to write something on the relationship of making to my practice and my feeling about not being a ‘proper maker’, as such..!   ‘ Weaving was already multimedia: singing , chanting, telling stories, dancing and playing games as they work, spinsters and weavers were literally networkers as well..spinning yarns, fabricating fashions, ..the textures of the woven cloth functioned as a means of communication and information storage long before anything was written down. How do we know this? From the cloth itself’ (Plant, Sadie. ‘Zeroes and Ones: Digital Women and the New Technocultur’e. New York : Doubleday, 1997).   I began m y life as an artist making drawings, paintings, sculpture…then fell in love with technology and designed interactive interfaces for five years. In 1999 I reached the point where I was in mourning for a more haptic relationship to my practice again. I came apon  textiles through reading Sadie Plant’s  ‘Zeros and Ones’ while visiting Iran  (my mother was a crochet designer who was raised near Tabriz – a famous rug weaving centre of excellence) and seeing the Jacquard Loom and Babbage machines at the Science Museum in London.      Discovering textile media as a place where old school female –dominated programming (since weaving is series of numbers encoded in cloth), the feel and beauty of woven surface, and a space for the interweaving of human narratives  could co-exist was a revelation to me and I have been expanding into this space for the last five years.    It seems to be limitless in its potential to enable poetic processes of engagement and to produce at the same time work that can be touched, occupied and read as an anthropological snapshot in time. I have mainly been working with other specialists to produce large-scale installations – weavers and programmers for ‘The Loom: From Text to Textile’,  a sculptor for ‘Crafting Space’ and a  whole design production team for ‘The Bibliomancer’s Dream’.   As a multi-disciplinary artist working with craft media, I have often felt outside and in awe of the mainstream of specialist makers who are able to work within and master a specific form of applied or visual art. Now I realise my speciality is in ‘crafting space’ and narrative through materials, words and conceptual ideas, with the very particular skill of defining compelling arenas of audience engagement.   A combination of growing confidence in my own skills and a desire to be more directly involved in the actually making of my work now has a chance to develop into new work through  The Shape of Things commission. It is as if have been given permission to make again!  I am now beginning the process of collecting, archiving,  wrapping and installing what will be up to 999 objects.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 The First Object   Object number one (001) – my (late) mother’s mobile phone sim card, wrapped in red wool and black cotton thread. What this object means to me is : frequent , caring and inquisitive communication of a mother to a daughter and the passion to pass on and share the narrative of her life openly and freely with those around her. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 The Gift So the interactive ‘operator’ in this new work is The Gift. Here are some thoughts I have found on The Gift while reading Lewis Hyde’ The Gift: Creativity and The Artist in the Modern World’.   ‘The Gift is to the Giver, and comes back most to him - it cannot fail’  (Walt Whitman) ‘The Gift that is not used is lost, while one that is passed along remains abundant’ ‘Gifts are a class of property whose value lies only in their use and which literally cease to exist as gifts if they are not constantly consumed’   ‘A circulation of gifts nourishes those parts of our spirit that are not entirely personal , parts that derive from nature, the group, the race or the Gods’   ‘…The Gifts we give at times of transformation are meant to make visible the giving up we do invisibly. And of course we hope that there will be an exchange , that something will come towards us if we abandon our old lives..The tokens we receive at times of change are meant to make visible life’s reciprocation. They are not mere compensation for what is lost. But the promise of what lies ahead . they guide us towards new life, assuring  our passage away from what is dying’   And most pertinently for me at this stage in the project:   ‘..gift exchange is a companion to transformation, a sort of guardian or marker or catalyst….a gift may be the actual agent of change, the bearer of new life’   I have been working a lot with life rituals and making pieces that mark them in some way – birth, bereavement, cultural transitions within life etc   What happens when I ask people I don’t know to give me things they don’t want and then think about and express what they do now want from the space the unwanted thing has left?   A process of transformation, which is a concept underlying all my work, is what I am seeking to offer up. Firstly in the making of the work, through transforming unwanted things into a group of artefacts with new meaning and context. Also, in the articulation by the Giver of what the gifted item represents in terms of leaving something behind and what new, emotional object can be presenced in their lives for future unwrapping? ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804     I have been quite silent on my blogs over the last few weeks as all my free time has been spent glued to twitter, Youtube and various news websites watching and feeling the events in Iran unfold, with a mixture of disbelief, amazement, horror and utter excitement to see a shift after so many years of repression. This was the time my mother was working towards and waiting for and I feel her spirit very closely observing in delight as shifts take place within the mindset and among the crowds on the streets of Iranian cities  that will not be lost despite the constant brutal attempts to silence the growing calls for freedom and self-expression. As someone who is connected to Iran mainly through my mother and all she tried to transmit to me about the political landscape there, often with such great passion and rage (at the mullahs)  that she almost burst out of her body, I look now at how I can connect to this through this project and honour her at the same time. Gifts 2 –6, then, are personal objects of my mothers and I am wrapping them in green, to connect with the Sea of Green in Iran, initially the Islamic colour denoting allegiance to the opposition candidate Mousavi, now broadening out into the colour of hope, freedom and resistance to tyranny. I was at the press launch of the Shape of things the other week, it was a small but satisfying affair as there was a tube strike that day and getting to Flow Gallery was in itself an act of great achievement. It was the first time I had been to flow (who are a partner in The Shape of Things programme, with an exhibition planned for next autumn of all 8 artists work).     I was asked to speak briefly along with Rosa, Tasmin and Chien about what being part of this programme means to me and my practice. In having to focus on this I realised how  much of the content and form of my work over the last ten years has been directly influenced and created by my Iranian heritage : the use of textile media, the desire and need to communicate and engage with large numbers of people, the aesthetics of the work itself and the core use of poetry to both inspire and interpret the work. It seems very fitting that I am working on a piece called ‘The Gifts’, that in itself will be a kind of acknowledgement of my heritage through my mother.    Here is one of the most resonant and powerful forms of expression to come out of Iran in recent weeks in response to the events that have been going on: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-lundberg/poetry-of-the-revolution_b_221590.html A culture that uses poetry in this way to channel its creative self even in the darkest of times is a culture that will only grow stronger through this  most bloody and heart-achingly challenging time..    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804          THE ARDABIL CARPET – RETURNING HOME   I was at the V+A yesterday, and visited  the Islamic Middle East section now  housed  in the Jameel Gallery. I was looking for inspiration for the layout The Gifts within the gallery and a link with Rosa’s work, which, as I understand it, will be predominantly wall work. I was looking for a personal and conceptual link, a bridge.   I spent some time sketching  large ottoman rug  on the wall and remembered an idea I had many years ago when I first starting thinking about wrapping objects and what the ultimate gift between nations was in ancient cultures –The Magic Carpet. The memory came of my and my brothers feet running around the outer border of one of our red, cream and violet Persian silk rugs (I can see it from my desk here, it seems so small now and so big then). We used to pretend we were flying across the globe on all kinds of adventures, for hours on end. Later on in my teens I dreamed of flying on a needle through glass palaces…   Anyhow, back to the Jameel Gallery. I saw a group of women in Islamic dress who were being toured around the gallery by a guide who was talking of ‘4914 knots in every 10cms…one of the worlds oldest,  finest and largest carpets in the world..’ . they drew aside and then a light change occurred and I saw  it – an enormous rug lying in the centre of the space, within glass walls and under a mirrored canopy. I sat on one of the sofas at one end and gazed down the length of it, taking in its delicate and yet monumental beauty - quite a moment. The idea of using this as a starting point for a floor design in Bristol, where objects would be hung or placed to create the impression of a huge carpet design came back into focus. The floral borders and a concept and structure inspired by nature took me to Rosa’s work and how this could be a connection ? I then went to the far end of the case to get some more information on the origin of the carpet, though something in me felt it even as I approached the text : ‘The Ardabil Carpet’. Ardabil was the town closest to my mother’s village, Namin, in North-West Iran where she was born. It is said to have very possibly been made for the Sufi shrine turned Mosque in Ardabil, during the Safavid Period. Visiting that place was one of the most resonant moments of my first trip to Iran in 1992. I feel a part of me has come home in this project and anticipating where it will lead me next, like a love affair woven in silk.            ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804     This project is gathering momentum. We had a Shape.. meeting with everyone in London the other week to discuss PR/audience development. It was at Oxford House in Betnnal green, just by Weavers Field , appropriately enough…Just being with everyone, talking ourselves into the future of our respective projects acted like a catalyst for me, it made it very real and I have begun to really enjoy the process of wrapping and also thinking about the space and the audience who will be experiencing the work. I wrapped 5 of my mothers objects – a set of keys, her wallet, her cheque book, her camera and a Persian cookery book that she and then I used so much that the pages went transparent with cooking oil. I used green fabric, my new favourite colour, a socio-political act given what is currently unfolding in Iran, her country, right now. I then bound them in fuschia pink yarn and the finality of this act was somehow thrilling and devastating at the same time..there is now a boundary of cloth between myself and what these objects came to mean – they were key items of hers that I felt I could not throw way but I didn’t want the responsibility of keeping anymore. So now they are part of a collective legacy in cloth and I think she would have enjoyed their poetic relocation into an artwork of mine! I then added two objects of my own – my wedding shoes,.They had broken straps but carried such strong  memories of the slowest, most delicious walk down the grassy aisle towards the river where we said our vows. Since I wore red and it was a blue moon I bound them in strips of my red silk dressing gown and blue kilim wool.  I remember telling myself to go slowly and  take in everyone’s face as I passed, to take snapshots so that in the moments before I die, I can replay them and experience a sense of communal joy and love  that that day resonated with (is this weird??). This week it will be five years since we married, my daughter was born and my mum passed  away - in that order.   ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   July Visit to Bristol Museum part 1  So, the visit to the Museum this time round was a very different experience – ‘Banksy vs Bristol Museum’ is on at the moment (witty, irreverent, playful, I like it..) and it is a phenomenon. There were people outside queuing for up to 4 hours, and a total cross section of society. I was envious… it was like seeing people queue up to go clubbing..very refreshing!   So, to even get into the place I had to enter through a Secret Door, which of course I enjoyed immensely, through passages and intercoms, via the reception which is currently Banksy-ed up as a vandalised Ice Cream Van…and into the office of Kate Newnham who , together with the Textiles Conservationist Jane Taylor – Bouvier, showed me some truly beautiful Indian and Iranian textiles work, to inspire.   I showed them my wrapped objects and Jane talked about how we will have to freeze all the objects for a week as soon as they enter the museum (this applies to all acquired items) and I find this weirdly exciting.   Kate gave me a great selection of Japanese gifts she had been given , wrapped using Furoshikis, (square materials used for wrapping gifts, often very beautiful in themselves) to use in my workshop the next day..   I had a good chat with my brother –in-law Mark about my idea of hanging the objects in the shape of a Persian carpet.  I had started to abandon this idea in favour of a floor piece as it seemed complex and unmanageable, but we looked at examples of hanging installation and I realise that the work needs to FLY and be IMMERSIVE in some sense. We discussed ideas with Julia and Simon the 3D designer and they are looking into the logistics of hanging 999 objects so will know soon if I can go with this idea and start making models etc. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   July Visit to Bristol Museum Part 2 I gave my first workshop the next morning at the Museum, to The People’s Panel, a group who represent non-traditional museum audiences and have worked with the museum on interpreting work before, notable the Love exhibition that toured to the National Gallery.   I began by asking them to describe a gift they had been given in the last year and it was interesting to hear how many gifts  received were unwanted, but were kept – someone said she felt that she was often given things that the giver liked rather than that corresponded to who she really was. Another spoke about how she hides a gift she really dislikes behind other ornaments in her cabinet , but gets it out when the giver comes round…I wanted us to conjure images of objects in our minds as a group, as this is what the public will be doing as they browse the wrapped gifts and maybe seek to match them with descriptions in the Register Book and also on texts around the space.   I showed them some of my work –from a gift /exchange/ participation angle- in the context of my own life experiences of love, loss and attachment and they seem to be quickly able to access the emotional context of the project. We spent some time handling Kate’s Japanese gifts and I spoke about Furoshiki and also the use of wrapping in Pacific island divinity culture –ie to preserve the power of objects and protect the keepers .   I then unveiled my wrapped Gifts and asked them to guess what they might be, giving them the narrative of each object – this was a moving moment as I spoke about my mother. Finally, almost everyone had brought at least one object to donate –among them a door handle that had once been part of a sculpture, then spent 30 years on a shed door, and now  is  returning to art - and they filled in the donation form. I realised from this session that there is great value in working directly with more groups not only to contextualise the gifting of the objects, but also to engage in the wrapping process itself as a collective, creative act     ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I've been in the studio experimenting with materials, proportions, wrapping objects and generally having a great time...I spent a day out in Brighton at fabric shops sourcing fabrics, inspired by the palette of a Turkish tile i saw at the V+A which depicts the courtyard around the Kaaba in Mecca. I have also been using materials and clothing that I already had, which has a particular resonance for me. I reserve these for wrapping the first 99 objects, which are mine only and will be hung as a separate work, a kind of introduction to the main, public collection in the space. At least, that's my current thinking and hope. Deep hues of blue, whites, greens and a hint of red, with black at the centre. I have sent some a very vague sketch as a starting point for Simon, the 3D designer to start working with, more like a list of parameters for how the objects may hang in the space.   The Bristol team are working on the postcard invite for the donation campaign and the artwork is looking great, i got a thrill when the pdf plopped into my mailbox. Have also got my PO Box number now so come September,(next week!) we can release our request for objects to the universe and see what it provides..i enjoy being on the brink of such an uncertain but potentially abundant process that i hope will bring me unexpected parcels in the post and at the Museum, ready for transforming. They are also working on setting up some wrapping sessions so that we can generate a large section of the work directly with groups.   My methodology is to establish the proportion of colours based on a ground plan design, then prepare the corresponding number of furoshikis (wrapping cloths) per colour section. I will also work out the number of colours of binding i want to allow, then make available both of these at sessions for people to choose and wrap with. This gives me the security of knowing I have an overall design palette covered and those participating a certain degree of aesthetic choice. I have a day in the studio tomorow, will be wrapping the objects that the People's Panel gave me and looking at the numbering process for objects..still have to find a beautiful book for it all to be recorded into.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I went to Bristol last week.I spent the first day at UWE being interviewed by Mathew Partington for the NEVAC archive, alongside Rosa and David Kay. This was great practice is being precise and clear about my ideas in relation to the project. I had sent rough sketches to the Museum designer Simon last month with some outline ideas about how the objects might be hung so that he and the model maker Nathan could start working out a structure from which they can hang. We met with Nathan who had done some small mock-ups of structures for my objects (the first 99 are going to be my own objects and hung separately, in a kind of spiral, vortex arrangement.). After some discussion we came to finding a way of having very little structure ’in the picture’ so to speak. I want the illusion, as far as possible, of objects flying through space, with very little else - apart from texts – in view. Unless you look up, where there will be a kind of grid structure from which they all hang.I love this part of the process, where a solution is found for the physical stage of the work to become possible. Nathan suggested I do mock-ups of objects on the ground (and later from a higher place)  to see how much room they actually take up as he is concerned it may be smaller than I think. But today I realised through doing this that the variable size of objects makes for a much larger space than we thought when we were adjusting our calculations and pacing it out in the gallery. I am glad as I want it to have a certain presence, and at 7 meters long think this will be in proportion to the gallery space and to Rosa’s work which will take up a lot of the  surrounding wall space.I also had a second workshop session with the People’s Panel this trip, which felt very satisfying somehow. They had brought objects to the first session which I had wrapped and brought some of them back to show  them. This time, after explaining where I was with the development of the work, I brought a selection of my own objects and some materials and yarns to wrap. A real gift and exchange session. I shared the stories behind the objects  and it felt good and also cathartic to do this,  like laying a part of my life to rest, with others witnessing it. Julia and also two other panel members had brought objects so they were wrapped and entered into the collection. It now feels like the gathering has begun. The postcard inviting the public has been printed and I am about to write a more personal letter to go with it to send to my own contacts. We will see what the  abundant but unpredictable universe will bring me ….... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   Objects have begun to slowly flow in, i am receiving 1-2 a day since i sent out an initial email to friends and family in the first instance last week. Some are very moving ,i will start listing examples soon .. It's like an alternative christmas, and some (local) friends / Givers have come to the studio and wrapped their object themselves. It seems to have the same cathartic effect on them as it does on me which is reassuring as it has felt like such a personal process so far , even though it is an age -old ritual i am tapping into here.  The museum are sending out a PR this week and it will start to escalate, i hope. Only real obstacle is the postal strike...! My brother pointed out to me that i have set up a project where certain elements (like the sourcing of the main material of the work) are beyond my control, and that must be a challenge i desired. He is right, it's a step further than i have been before and it keeps the thrilling if terrifying element of uncertainty alive  -will i get enough response to my call out for objects  etc... The larger, deeper part of me trusts i will, postal strike or not , but my controlling side is somewhat on edge.  Raphaella helped me hang up 99 objects in a spiral to see how its going to work with the smaller of the two pieces, ie, my own objects. it's looking good, though its going to be tricky to photograph since there is so much background visual noise and i am reluctant to publish images of it here as yet. It’s wonderful to finally see objects hanging in the air, as I had imagined them, and with only 99 it already feels like a powerful space is being created. I now have the dimensions needed to give the designers something to work with for the first hanging structure.    Which brings me to the number 9. the choice of 999 was an intuitive thing, I knew 6 years ago that was the number I would use if I ever managed to do this project. I am now  discovering the beauty of the number 9 and how it always returns to itself ,  (ie 9+9+9 = 27, 2+7=9). Also, if you you multiply anything by 9, the same thing happens, ie 9 x8  = 72, 7+2 =9  and  5 x9=45, 4+5 = 9 etc   And even in the dimensions of the spiral we made, bizarrely  (and without calculation, just by eye) ; 144 cm wide, 1+ 4+ 4 = 9 261 cm high, 2+6+1 = 9 162 deep, 1+6+2= 9   Finally, here is the invite to contribute an object, either from my website or the Bristol Museum site (you have to scroll to the bottom to download the form on that one)….please spread the word…      ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 On friday Julia Carver, the curator of the project came for a studio visit. I was so glad that Raphaella and I had hung the objects up last week as she got a proper sense of how its going to work and look which photos cant really convey. There was a lot to discuss - the installation itself, the exhibition guide, presentation next week, the launch, PR for the object gathering etc. It's like unravelling a ball of wool and it just keeps getting longer...I realise this is the first public project i have worked on where I have a sustained and close relationship with a curator, and I am really enjoying the interchange and support, we are a good match. It was also good to be able to show her my parallel new work - from The Gifts of the Departed series - that is very much fed by and feeds into this project. I have just finished the 'Mother Tongue' piece and it's the completion of a two year on-and-off  process.I basically wrapped three of my mother's  rice cookers in wool and silk, then bound them in black binding and wrote three versions of the same song -based on a sufi poem by Rumi- on them, 'Come , Come , My Beloved' by Bijan Bijani. It was the song that was playing when i was in labour with Delia, my first child and I remember my mother sat there translating it to me, what an amazing moment of closeness it was - almost other- wordly. The largest cooker is written on in farsi, the medium size one in romanised farsi and the third, smallest one, in the english translation.  Julia called it the 'prologue' to The Gifts and i see what she means, in that the themes it draws on  - core relationship through the female ancestral line from my mother to my daughter through me, the transmission and gradual loss of language, the importance of food as a form of love etc.   It felt very significant for me to finally finish it and to say goodbye to those objects and see that they can work in a totally transformed context but still speak of the work they once knew. I hope this will apply to the Gifts, which seems to be revealing new objects and their stories to me every day.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   I am in the ‘full-blooded’ stage of the project. Was in Bristol last week, a lot happened – major installation design decisions, planning for the catalogue.  presentations to teachers, gifting sessions at the Museum with a group of  students doing the Creative Media Diploma at Backwell School. I stayed at my sister’s house in Backwell, and with her and my brother-in-law Mark’s help (he is the school connection as he works as a lead practitioner in the  CMD for the region) , we worked out how to translate my colour palette for the 900 objects in the main piece into actual number of objects per colour and metres of fabric required. I had been trying to do this for a while without much success, so when we came up with the final numbers I was in sweet shock for a while as I saw that every number relating to every single colour is divisible by 9 again! 9 seems to have become a living entity and be following me around, toying with my head..   Mark unearthed around 30 objects for the project to wrap–most of them childrens toys .My nieces were there, deconstructing their early childhoods  as they debated and  figured out the detail of each item’s history…   I was due to give what I had been told by the museum was only a presentation to Mark’s school group the next day . However when I got to my sisters house I realised that there had been a communication blip and the students were bringing objects to wrap the next morning..I, however I hadn’t brought any materials. I perversely like this kind of situation. We hatched a plan and got  the students involved in sourcing fabrics, cutting, stripping and logging as well as wrapping and experiencing the adrenalin rush of being in production of a live artwork.    Mark has since set up a lot more sessions with different school groups  and I now know what I need to do to be prepared. I enjoyed sharing my work and approach with them, I have started to accept that my self-criticism that I talk too quickly and jam too much in  is in fact exaggerated in my head and just part of  my style and the more I accept that the more I will slow down anyway.   Example of objects given so far…coming in thick and fast:   A bunch of keys to a recently repossessed house. A child’s toothbrush A photo of an ex-lover A gold watch strap of a recently deceased partner A ninetndo wii (broken) A screenplay A jar of gold size with gilder’s tip and gold leaf. Three small knitted dolls, each symblising a lost child through miscarriage A photo taken by my mother of a group of her Iranian friends, sent to me by one of them An ipod mini A large seed pod A jar of shells and stones, collected  over 30 years ago  by parents long departed.     ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   Last week I was up at the Museum, facilitating a mass Gifting session with groups from Backwell school in the rear hall of the Museum. It felt good to be out in the open rather than in a closed room, more connected. I brought in references to certain objects at the Museum which I realize have had an impact on my thinking process in this project.   The main one is a child’s ball- a scrawny object made of sackcloth with a bit of rope tied around it -  and I find parallels to it in terms of the context of the objects I am being given. I realize that this collection I am randomly curating - is acting  as a counterpoint to the Museums collection of artefacts which hold only objects which have been carefully sourced and chosen by specialist curators. The only criteria for The Gifts is that the object donated has to have had personal emotional resonance for the Giver and not be over a certain size.     So, I realize that certain levels of meanings of my work don’t become clear until it starts making itself... In preparing for the panel presentation this week for the launch of the shape of things (which I will write on in my next post), I saw how, once again, the theme of death is a constant. This time it’s the idea of the death of the object and the ritual of wrapping and binding these objects that enables a process of reincarnation to occur. They are certainly being utterly transformed and it’s only the display of their narratives that will give any clue to their previous lives.   An artist friend, Ivan Pope, came by the studio the other day and we discussed the form of the narrative display which is still under consideration. A Book was initially favoured , especially by the curator, as it is a reference to the Register Book used by them to enter objects into their collection. But I feel more and more that  this limits access to only a few people being able to browse it at any one time. Ivan suggested an idea that I had originally had but ditched a while ago, of a wall display of index cards that are effectively the narrative interface of the collection.   I am getting clearer that I am not concerned with people being able to individually access information on a particular object, and that this is a singular piece of work – a multitude of objects that have effectively become one. Although each object will be numbered, the numbers won’t always be clearly visible,  I want to leave some incompletion , some space for those looking to make connections…I went to see the Ed Ruscha at the Hayward last week and I liked his quote around this :  ‘The most an artist can do is to start something and not give the whole story. That’s what makes the mystery’    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   I have just finished the 6th of 8 mass gifting workshops here in Bristol this week.  There has been a real range of groups- from primary school (10-11 year olds at Golden Valley and Knowle Park), to adult artists at The Studio Upstairs and the third session with older members of  The People's Panel  at the Museum. I realize how flexible the framework of this project is for engaging people in the different themes of the work most appropriate to them.   With the younger ones, both in and out of the museum, I highlighted the parallel between everyday objects in the collection and their own contributions, pointing to future times when they will become 'the ancestors' and their chosen gifts will be ancient artefacts. They seemed to respond very viscerally to the idea that these objects were being reborn through The Gifts. Today, two of the children at Knowle Park came up to me with their wrapped objects to show me that they had left a small hole in one corner so that the object (in both cases a first toy) could breathe...  They all seemed to think very carefully about what they were writing on their cards, knowing that it would be on display . I think the physical act of wrapping and binding has been having an effect, its finality and also the transforming nature of the materials we are using - mainly muslin, silks and recycled sari yarns. It has felt at every session that there is a kind of three dimensional form of painting going on , with the binding being a very real form of individual mark making.   Other themes I have been drawing out, especially with the adult participants, have been my own personal process of grief and healing and how it informed this project, and how I have developed the seed idea into what is going to be a very large -scale artwork...it seems to be that people are responding powerfully to the concept of the Gifts, and enjoying the haptic connection with the project through the object wrapping, underlined by written reflections on the personal meaning to them of what they are donating.   I have also enjoyed broadening ideas out with the primary school children of what art can be in terms of both mediums used and the closing of the gap between personal processes and public art.    Images to come later.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   Thoughts arising … ..that came out of the launch evening of the shape of things last month and I have been so busy making that I haven’t had the chance to write them down since. A question asked at the launch by Raimi Gdamosi, which I am grateful for as it brought up a lot for me  …something like- ‘in the face of the diverse practices of the artists on the panel (ie the 8 Shape..artists), are Non-European makers always going to be determined by their ostensible Otherness?’    I have a discomfort around the focus on Otherness. I fear it can be limiting in its  entrenchment in a definition of Self within a particular cultural terrain. I understand that it has been and continues to be useful, essential even, in the face of erasure, where there is a question of survival of one’s culture in the balance through migration, displacement etc. But I don’t come from that kind of background, I only experienced the Iranian Revolution second-hand, through the lives of our relatives who fled and came to live with us as I was growing up in suburban Tunbridge Wells.. When I visited Iran in 1992 and 1998 I was warmly welcomed like a guest, a novelty, the beloved daughter of my now legendary mother.    When I state I am a British –Iranian artist, I am acknowledging my sources, not underlining my otherness.   Otherness…in contrast to what ? to what has been a white mainstream, but is no longer, because it is all being beautifully mixed up…???.I am second generation, hybrid, mongrel….. so not Iranian enough to be an Iranian artist and invited to that party, but somewhere in between, enjoying the new colours I can weave on a collective cloth that is so interwoven with ‘other’ influences it is impossible to see where one thread finishes and another begins. And so, the emphasis on otherness, on separateness, is for me not always a concern. Finding the universal through the personal is what I am seeking. Despite this I am aware that I use an approach in my work that draws very closely on my Iranian heritage – the metaphor of textile and its aesthetic, the desire to mourn and self-disclose on a mass scale and connect with masses of people I may never meet (a tradition maintained these days by Iranian bloggers, who have the added element of risk and survival to contend with). The use of poetic language, of communal rituals that are intended to create connection and self-reflection…   So it seems right to show that these are rooted in someplace other than the South East of England. And for that reason I embrace the chance to highlight this through the shape of things. And I truly hope that The Gifts will transcend the biographical material it is rooted in and strike a universal note to those who come ...  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   It’s been an extraordinary month in terms of physical work in the studio on the gifts. I now have all 999 objects, and some of the most moving came in the final few weeks …I made a decision a while ago not to disclose much about the objects submitted in any detail ,as it feels like the gallery space will be the legitimate place for proper disclosure, but the poetic and moving nature of some of the final items make it hard for me to do this…so I may post up something soon with a few pointers as to the emotional scope of some of the items given.   The objects are now all laid out on a paper grid on the studio floor. (see image)  The museum apprentices, Rosie and Casey, have been logging all the cards and we have been trying to locate stray numbers with displaced objects for the last few weeks. I became totally obsessed with getting the database of objects to numbers accurate, it felt like an injustice to mismatch anything as inevitable a few things had lost labels etc. But this has eaten up a lot of time and I will be spending most of this week finalising the design on the floor grid done by raphaell, then turning the grid into a map for the installing process, with outlines on objects and their numbers and position marked out carefully. Then into 50 bags, one for each line , ready for collection on January 5th when they go into a special museum deep -freeze in Birmingham for a week,  to kill off any bugs and make them eligible for exhibition.   It feels like a lot of this whole year has been taken up with not just the physical but the emotional processes surrounding this project,.others and my own. I first had the seed idea for this 7 years ago. Today is the 5th anniversary of the death of my mother  in the Asian tsunami and it’s the only day in a long time when I have felt completely unable to tap into the creative power of what came from living through that experience and ride its energy. I realise that it’s the art  have made from it that has kept me in balance. Today I decided to just lie low –no big rituals or hosting like I have done in the past to mark the event. And yet I feel totally vulnerable and unable to function, very much ‘in my child’ (and unwilling to mother my own children today with any degree of effectiveness..). I guess this blog entry is the most creative thing I will do today (I wrote from my bed) and that, in fact, it’s important to fall apart occasionally, with no idea of how to manage or channel what is arising. To feel the deep sadness, the intense flashes of grief and anger, then let go as much as is possible until calm seas return.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I finally finished the floor design , mapping and packing up of all 900 gifts last night at midnight...it took a lot longer and a lot more excruciating patience than i had planned for... i am too exhausted to write anything coherent but wanted to post up these images from my phone as i liked the pattern the number made on the floor...and it gives a sense of the scale of the final main piece.. now for a couple of days revelling the  resting before the final push to make everything ready for the 5th, when the work gets collected from my studio. happy new year etc  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Last tuesday, Nathan and David came from the Museum to collect my work ....at last! It felt momentous..then, the next day, the snow came, and everything stopped. For a few hours. Then came a snowstorm of emails, requests for opinions and feedback on the Exhibition, Catalogue, the gallery texts, the posters design, the labelling...so many choices to make so quickly, which i like as i don't work well with too much time to deliberate, after such a long run on this project, the choices seem straightforward. somehow. Have also been editing my own Gift List , 1-99, which will appear on the floor and it begins to read like a strange poem –come-shopping list. They need to order the vinyls for the floor for that one so have Monday as a deadline. As fro the 100-999 text labels for the other objects, I still have some editing to do before they can begin formatting that and getting it ordered to print. I am trying to get as much done as I can late at  night when the children are asleep, after a day’s sledging…    We are meeting on tuesday re catalogue design, David Hyde the designer has already come up with some beautiful cover design options and seems to be working very intuitively and sensitively which I appreciate. It’s exciting for me and a new experience as no-one has ever published anything on my work as yet, bar an article in Textile Journal which hasn’t yet come out and which I put together mainly myself, with some direction from Janis Jefferies. She has also written an essay for this show on my work, which i think is excellent and provides insightful perspectives and threads of meaning on my work and its context which I have learnt a lot from. It all feels like being at a water fountain and really delighting in it’s fresh cool taste..   In the meantime, I have been editing several thousand metre of poetry scrolls from my installation project for South Bank Centre last year called The Bibliomancer’s Dream, which I worked on with Willow and which is happening again this year, alongside  an additional installation at QEH. During the Imagine Festival. Crazily, both shows open on February 5th! I am not going to complain, but I do wish I had  access to temporary cloning pinned down. I am travelling to Bristol on 18 jan to start installing, and planning to finish by feb 2nd at the latest (I will blog about the process) as am due to be installing at Southbank on feb 3 and 4th. Then back up to Bristol on 5th….. ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Week 1 - Part 1 A great lesson in letting go of expectations this week. I spent a lot of last week preparing myself on many levels for this weeks installing in Bristol. I worked on visualising how it would go – I would arrive at the museum with everything in place and ready to start hanging with my team. We would have a swift, trouble –free, joyful time, with everything falling into place effortlessly…   When I did arrive on Monday I was told that, due to a major defect on the councils ordering system, the main frame from which 900 of my objects will hang had not actually been ordered and a key member of the museum installing team was off sick. I did almost burst into tears, I had such an expectation and adrenalin ready to go, it felt like a punch in the stomach. I had had to juggle so many things to be away for all this time, with two children and Leo working full time. The frame won’t get there till Thursday, which put me, four days behind in my head.    Then I reminded myself that I do believe in a broader way that the universe has its own timing which is, overall, much more effective –if less comprehensible initially – than I as an individual can control or manage. And what ensued was some invaluable time considering and focusing on detailed aspects of the installing that I had not been able to allow for. I have had this projects layout either in my head, on paper or literally all over my studio floor (see previous blogs for photos of mapping work over xmas) for such a long time and yet the gap between this and the actual hanging of the 900 pieces still contains unknowns. With the gifts 1-99, I had suspended them in my studio and know how they work in three dimensions.   But the larger piece is a different creature. David Singleton, one of the main conservation people took Julia and I up to his office on Monday morning to take a look at experiments he had been doing with different weights of fishing line and weights on smaller objects, as issues around coiling wire, safety and visibility etc were coming up. Thank god he had done these, as well as knotting tests to see how the type of knot affected the slippage of a given object. From these we decided to go with a lighter weight wire than I had planned as well as a different knot and a decision to do some hanging tests with objects to establish which is the optimum wire to use as well as how the air conditioning and door opening will affect the movement of objects. Boring but essential, so thank you council, for screwing up to allow us time to do valuable, if tedious preparation.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Week 1 – Part 2 We have a great team of volunteers and tuned into the work already - I knew this immediately because when I was told about the non-appearance of the main frame and the main technician, Benoit, Lyn and Genevieve saw my disappointment and started to compensate with positive ideas about what we could do with our time before the frame arrives as well as about the experiments needed to establish hanging issues. Three of the team are students at UWE on the Drawing and Applied Arts course and have had experience of hanging their work using fishing wire, which is a bonus! Time was spent till Wednesday going through all the gifts and transferring the label numbers onto them with gold pen, as well as establishing what the production line process for getting the objects up as quickly as possible would be.  Rosie, one of the two museum apprentices (the other is Casey) who have been assigned to helping me, has been helping Becky the designer finalise the proofing of the postcards and floor texts for The Gifts (1-99) so I have had to some proofing as well as final looks at the catalogue which looks beautiful and went to print on Thursday. Simon, the designer who is project managing, has started work on transferring the The Gifts (1-99) grid I supplied to the mirrored circular disc that they will drill holes in and hang objects from. I initially thought that with 2 pairs of people we could get it all hung in 5 days. I have revised this since we spent all of Thursday and Friday hanging one row and a half. However, these are the two crucial outside rows, which determine the line of the whole piece - which I had plotted out on a graph, and we are taking the figures from that- so they were bound to be more time consuming. We have learnt a lot from the way we worked over this week and from tomorrow   things will speed up and I know more surely that it will flow. The line looks good and the height works I need to focus on what is hanging already rather than what is on the ground. I have been staying with Julia, the curator who has been a brilliant support as always, getting hands on as well as standing back to take on board where we are at. Tomorrow Rosa arrives with to start installing her work and I am curious to see how our two worlds meet and reflect, I am excited to see her work in the flesh and to see this new, temporary universe unfold …transforming the space and us.    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   My fingers have barely touched the ground …hanging 999 objects has turned out to be a mammoth task, shared with up to 5 other people at any one time, with so many variables it is like trying to write a computer programme on the fly with thread…by Thursday afternoon, when I had to leave for two days (and felt like I was abandoning a child, untill I saw my own children and everything melted away), just over 50% of the main piece has been hung, and that was ten days into the installing (with five to go, but only three when i am there). I left the process I good hands, it really is a strong team and I enjoy seeing various members of staff join in hands on and weave their energies into these gifts…. another level of giving that will be invisible to anyone but ourselves… What has been hung does look magical, and I am deliberately not showing too much in the photos here, as I feel the Friday preview will be a genuine unveiling process. At the moment there is still an enormous scaffold making its way through the work, like a giant spider weaving a web, so its hard to get what the overall effect will be, but I am loving the way the whole things moves when you slightly move the grid as you tie the threads of the objects to the top, like a dance, a wave, a meditation. And seeing Rosa’s ‘Still Living’ piece emerging in the background has been quietly thrilling, its delicacy and the space that she has been creating which I think will work really well alongside the gifts like a playful conversation…. I spent yesterday with my children, taking them to a wedding of my Iranian cousin in London. We took the train and tubes to get there, which I had never done on my own with both of them, and felt like far more of a challenge than this project for some reason…. a different mode I guess, but it was a sweet adventure, and my heart tugged when I realised how much Moses has learnt in the time I have been away (i.e. he now counts to 15…10 more than ten days ago…). But I am also looking forward to their reaction when they and Leo see the work… I came back to Bristol today, intending on reaching the museum mid-afternoon to do a bit of work to prepare for hanging my Gifts (1-99) spiral, but it took me 6 hours, as there was a suicide on the line and no trains running from Paddington. I have been staying with Julia the curator and her partner Paul most of the time, which has been a real pleasure, but tonight I am spending a rare night on my own at my friend’s flat and actually revelling in the quiet and space. Its like being on retreat and something I need before what is going to be one of the most intense weeks of my career – installing and opening of The Gifts here in Bristol and taking two days out to join the installing of  The Bibliomancer’s Dream and Dream On installations at Southbank Centre in between…sometimes I get to the point of overwhelm then remember that this is what I have always dreamed of being able to do, and I get reconnected to a more joyful sense of purpose. Like being on a train, I must remember to take in the view, it’s rushing by so fast…  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 So i was somewhat insanely busy between my last post and now, having to leave the Musem before the piece was finished, in order to help with the install of the Bibliomancer's Dream and Dream On at Southbank Centre. And then having to leave that to be finished in order to be present at the opening of the shape of things at the museum on friday night. Now i am back on lewes and with a little space and some rest, i am happy to say i feel very satisfied and excited about both works, The opening of Shape.. and the unveiling of mine and Rosa's work, with a good crowd, tasty canapes and delicious vodka cocktails followed by cosy and fun after -party was fun and rather unreal. But the next day, after i had done my public talk and the DVD of our interviews  had crashed so that no-one could recognise me, i got the real deal.. walking around, sitting and slowly taking in what we have created in Bristol with these installations and how we have managed to execute it with precision and love, then hearing , seeing and feeling the impact of it on the public, was a powerful and fulfilling two hours. It's a landmark show for me and i feel bereft i cant just walk down the road to visit it (i am 3.5 hours away on a train). But it runs till april 18th and i have three planned trips there for talks etc. Here's an article from yeserdays local news, i like the title! http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/wave-emotion-h... i am still in deccompression and adjusting to family life and different challenges like getting my children to school/ nursery on time - which feels as tricky as deliivering large scale installations to schedule sometimes.... There's more to say, i will continue later.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I'm decompressing slowly from my shows...and having withdrawal symptoms. sometimes i think i am addicted to my work and the deep sense of purpose it gives me. have been having strange dreams about The Gifts this week, with it sited in a church and me wandering around half undressed looking for a therapist..hm. not sure if its wise to write this, but it's all part of the after-effect of spending a year developing a highly emotionally charged artwork and having it in seen by large numbers of the public..  I got a facebook message from Shafan, who is one of the Museum's front of house staff and has been working in the gallery. She also happens to be iranian and from Tabriz, very close to the village where my mother was born, so i once again feel a strange but comforting sense of presence there, from here. It sounds like a lot of people are visiting the show and the response is powerful and positive.. I am missing wrapping things up, and i have quite a few pieces in mind that i want to make, ranging from the tiny to room-size..I will be returning to the studio  next week but meanwhile it is taking some letting go to adjust to the rhythm of life back home.. Anyway, seeking inspiration, i came across this Rumi poem that i had considered using in the catalogue but never did, it seems like a good point to offer it up; from ' Put this Design in your Carpet' “..There is an unseen presence we honor that gives the gifts. You’re water, We’re the millstone. You’re wind. We’re dust blown up into shapes. You’re spirit. We’re the opening and closing Of our hands. You’re the clarity. We’re this language that tries to say it. You’re joy. We’re all the different kinds of laughing..'  (The Essential Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks , with Reynold Nicholson, A.J Arberry, John Moyne. Expanded Edtion,  Harper One 2004.) ********* ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I went up to Bristol briefly last week to give some radio interviews, it was actually very good to reconnect with the work but understand that it is separate from me now and is having a life of it's own and becoming something else in its public life. (I can't seem to escape the metaphor of the mothe , too powerful..).  I am still struggling with the transition from goal-oriented (i.e, shows going up by a certain date and being the central focus of my waking life) and process-oriented living (ie, enjoying that fact that the work is done and out there, rather then fixated on the next thing to achieve in order to feel valued) .  Am trying to unravel thoughts and issues that have arisen from getting The Gifts made and where it leads me next , got a day in london tomorow to visit my other shows at Southbank Centre, visit the Tate modern, see Willows opening at The Hub and get some headspace to articulate them.....will unfold them here soon.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Objects have a voice. Stories create forms. Rather than laying these objects to rest, they seem to have come more alive, or maybe it's what being in the public eye has done to them... After feeling totally emptied out from getting this show up, I have been struggling to get back into the rhythm of work, mainly because of emotional exhaustion . This week i did manage to get into my studio and began a new piece, a ladder which i wrapped in blue silk. i am preparing the binding and also musing on the texts to use. i have learnt, from The Gifts, that objects have a particular story to communicate and that as an artist its my job to iisten and transmit. It feels like it may take a while with this one but it was good to start..something.  i enjoyed giving the gallery talks last weekend, it was a full house with some juicy questions and emotional responses to the installation. It reminded me why i make my work using textile so much now- to create relationships that would otherwise not be available to me, on a mass scale. A diversity of contact and response that fills me up...for a sweet while. Then i have to crawl through the darkness again until the next piece becomes clear... It's only now, talking about the making of the work in retrospect that i realise what a risk it was, that reliance on material from the public - several people commented on the trust that had been created in order to surrender some of the most precious and emotionally charged  items...I am still moved by the transaction that took place and hope that I returned the gift fully enough.... Attached is an image i have used for the postcards which will be arriving next week... Sogand and i were filming last week at the museum, it's such a complex piece to film unless you have steadycams etc,so we took short tableaux shots instead, we found a language to work with but it took a couple of hours to define and we both had fluey colds. At least we have stuff to work with now, though i have to find the budget for a cut. Video documentation hasn't been part of the overall budget and  although i was once a filmmaker i was too inside the work to really do much on that front. Sogand suggested i use what we did to work up a voiceover that is reflecting on the experience of making the work retrospectively, which feels like the freshest way to come at it. I have never had a show that lasted this long, and want to make the most of creating new connections with curators, collectors or others who may not know about my work but might be interested. This is when an agent would be very helpful, maybe..? I am not sure if this is part of the shape of things' remit or mine really, must check. Think that's the next step in terms of what there is to do with The Gifts while it's in the air. I can't complain that it hasn't received enough overall attention though as visitor numbers were almost 20, 000 in four weeks. But we could do with a proper review of the show. There are so many elements to this soup called Exhibiting in a Museum, I have to learn to take it step by step ....breath by breath.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   It’s funny how old things can feel once they are done. The Gifts is still on for another three weeks, is still being seen anew  by thousands of people every week, and yet for me, four hours away, it feels like a runaway member of my family – they’re coming home soon, what do I do with them? Who knows whether my dream of finally getting my work collected and properly looked after will come to pass, that’s out of my control, but what I am realising is that once the gig’s over, if you don’t have someone representing your interests for you, it’s still a  one woman show most of the time.  I am incredibly fortunate that I already have other projects on the horizon, but this is a  new situation to deal with - making works that are no longer very temporary (textile sculptures are fragile but reasonably straightforward to conserve and re-hang) and that I don’t really want to hold onto, mainly because this was a project about releasing old energies embodied in objects. The feng shui of holding onto them doesn’t really add up.    So, my main desire is that the project gets properly disseminated to those who might have a hand in extending the installation’s life nationally and internationally. I am lucky that the shape of things have this on their agenda to some degree – our show at the Flow gallery in September will help, having the catalogue done is brilliant and the circulation of the project to their own networks will certainly help - not to mention the huge audiences that have seen the work at the museum. But, as an individual artist,  I still feel that there is a big leap to be made into the world of galleries and collectors who might provide another income stream as well as another way of disseminating my work to places I do not yet have access to. And reasons to be able to spend more time in my studio making smaller work and getting quiet headspace. It’s a question of guaranteeing longevity – if the work doesn’t get seen again in different context  then its just a photo in a catalogue, an image in the head.  Maybe I am just impatient and/or spoilt, I am always looking one step ahead to what has not yet happened, willing it to be so and not always allowing adequate time to appreciate what I have achieved. I also am already missing the close working relationship with Julia, our curator at Bristol Museum ,which was very enriching and supportive –I want one of her all the time!. Re the next step with this particular project, I do keep thinking about what Rosa said just a few weeks after we had gotten the show up, ‘That was that, what now?’  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804   I had a rather bad accident the other day and burned the inside length of my left arm. I have been on painkillers and in need of rest so been looking for quiet inspiration and also reflecting on this project as it approaches its final week... I was thinking of Janine Antoni, an American artist who I met in 2006 - myself and 11 other artists did a one week performance lab with her and Melissa Martin called Lore + Other Convergences at LADA/INIVA in London.  It was an intense learning experience which brought up a lot around collaboration, object-related perfomance and process as product.. I remember Janine was very encouraging of the idea of The Gifts, which I had already shown the seed of with a piece I did for Limbo Arts in 2004 as part of a group show called ‘Abandon’ and it was her that pointed me to the 'Power and Taboo' show at the British Museum at that time, where i discovered the wrapping rituals of the Pacific Islands divinity culture that helped develop my thinking around this project. Discovering Antoni's work at that time was quite a revelation to me (I was new to the live arts scene and had not heard of her, much to the other artist's surprise...)  as there were many common points in what she had been doing with great renown and success) and the path i was only beginning. she also seemed to have a lot of integrity around her approach to the commercial side of the artworld and some solid ideas about how to navigate it while retaining her strength and freedom to make the work that interested her. I found this interview with her again called ‘Framing Sculpture’ which I really like and which I wanted to share here, especially ideas around relationship to the object and the role of the viewer…  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJCMzr1VafI If you don't know her work she is really worth a look and has a lot of gently thought provoking things to say. And it always feels good to acknowledge one's influences and inspirations... Aside from this, as if in response to my earlier thoughts around the targeted exposure of our work to curators, Shape and the museum have organized a Curator’s Day on Tuesday.  I am using it to hone down how i present the essentials of my practice (since the presentation will be brief) and also to  prepare thoughts for myself around where my practice might go next as I feel a crossroads approaching – more on this later...    ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 Taking down 'The Gifts' the other week was disoncertingly swift and easy (granted there were six of us..Benoit thankfully returned and the apprentices were on board, very focused). After the long haul of making the work and the labour intensive process of hanging it all, it felt like, a few snips and it's all over. Which is probably healthy, but there was an air of melancholy leading up to it, mainly in Julia and me, the principle midwives of this particular creation.. When work disappears like that, when it's initial life is over,  it really does feel like it was a dream.. It's all in boxes in my studio now and i am trying to rest for a while, focus on slower time at home, recharging until the next project begins. I still have photos to edit for my website update, film footage to look at and lots of information to add into the installation notes that accompany the work for the next time it goes up, whenever that may be. I am also considering what kind of work i want to make for the Flow Gallery show - smaller wrapped pieces, i have some ideas and Yvonna who runs the gallery came to the show so we are in dialogue. I am sure I had more to say than this and am going to write up an evaluation of some kind on how it all went.. I have another project starting next month which will most probably breed another blog. I have found this such a crucial space both for documenting the process of the work and getting focused on what's at the centre of what i am doing and also what needs to follow. I had one last echo of my mother after the show came down. I have made friends with Shafan, the Iranian staff member who has been working in the gallery a lot during the show (often by request). She and her husband are the only Iranians in Bristol from the same part of Iran as my mother (they speak the Turkish dialect she used to speak). She invited me to have dinner and stay at her house on Monday. i was exhausted but it was such a tender invitation and so well timed. As i ate her delicious food and listened to farsi on the tv and talked with her, I sensed my mother vicariously taking delight in this creative episode of my life which brought me so much and which will take quite a long time to unravel..... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804 I'm breathing new life into this blog as I have been making a body of new work for the shape of things group show at the Flow Gallery in September (Sept 10th - Nov 6th) and I realise that a lot has come out of making The Gifts that is having an impact. These smaller works, that are helping me define my visual language of textile sculpture-come-poetic object , are a real joy to work on and I am so relieved at the headspace they give me and the opportunity to work very intuitively over a number of hours in a kind of dialogue with objects I find. The starting point is normally a poem that suggests wrapping an object or an object that calls to mind a poem. The poems are always either from Rumi or Hafiz, so far..and I use extracts and bind them around on bias binding, like a three dimensional ode. I'm working/blogging in parallel on an installation commission for The National Portrait Gallery , part of which will be based on The Gifts (1-99). I've developed it into a three part work to correspond to the three groups being portrayed, and using objects not just from the past but from the present and future. I am loving the balance between work on a large scale, public work which has involved intense encounters with others -and this slower, more intimate encounter with myself through object, text and material. I'm posting some images here to show what I am creating, some of which will be part of the Flow  show. It's been a long time since i made work for sale in this way and the pricing is something i have to feel my way into..I am curious to see if it has commercial appeal but mainly i am revelling in making the work and how grounding it feels to do it and how it brings up other ideas for a next piece, like following a trail further and further into a forest of treasures.. I also have some interest in The Gifts being shown again next year, which, if it becomes a concrete possibility, i will write about next month. This is on my big wish list, along with it being purchased into a public /private collection so that it is cared for, and I believe it can happen. When it does, I will have crossed a bridge and a whole new vista will emerge of what's possible with this work , in terms of its legacy and wider impact beyond the timeframe of engagement and initial display.  ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/518804