http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Paint and the Self Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:24:42 +0000 a-n rss generator a-n The Artists Information Company and contributors edit@a-n.co.uk technical@a-n.co.uk http://www.a-n.co.uk/img/logo.gif http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I use Flake White - white lead - a poison, hard to obtain and horrifying to use. It’s often a battle with white. Thick white, a clumsy doorman not letting us pass. Or white when it crushes and deadens and obliterates and makes me despair that all delicacy is lost. White a sullen spoiler, muddying the colours and messing up their clarity and their strength. All of those whites are needed at times. Then there’s thin white, moving and swirling, each brushmark a possibility. White over white, inviting us to ponder the space between the two (how can this space be infinite, yet non-existent?). White when it floats and sings breathily of soft sweet puffs, gentle vaporous wisps. Warm fat white sitting plump on top of the canvas, creating a stepping-stone between the viewer and the deeper, sinking, more troubling layers of paint. White like a capable nurse, making things clean and decisive.  I wrote the above in November and I was thinking about it today in the studio, as I threw white paint (this time acrylic) over much-drawn-on paper.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 After 20 years of persistently painting I finally feel more rooted, and can hear and dialogue with other people's views whilst a piece of work is still in progress; and also I'm finding myself increasingly open to new, surprising ways within myself of looking at/thinking about painting. I showed work in progress to some fellow painters recently. As usual, there were around fifteen unfinished canvases in the studio. Until now I've been very wary of showing and discussing unfinished work with anyone (even my family): I think I needed to search so hard inside myself for the thread that leads the way in the process of making a painting, and this thread was very, very delicate and too liable to be blown away or off-course by someone else's views. But now I find myself more able to hear and respond to the thoughtful, inventive, and invigoratingly challenging reactions of my peers.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Lately I’ve been re-reading ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’, because it’s sometimes labelled ‘the first great Surrealist novel’ ... and I’m curious (and curiouser) to see what might happen if I were to keep a theme at the back of my mind when working. I’m not used to thinking/working in terms of ‘projects’ – I’ve always resisted defining – or is it structuring – my work in this way. I’m going to try taking ‘Alice’ as a loose theme for a while, and see what happens.   I’ve started by working on very large sheets of paper. Ink, conte, acrylic, graphite. I know I really don’t want this work to be illustrative. But why? What does ‘illustrative’ actually mean, for me, and why don’t I want it at the moment? I would love to listen to people who are more articulate than me having a discussion about this. Perhaps I should start a new thread on the artists talking forums. It might help me clarify my thoughts, and perhaps change my mind!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 To Ipswich School today, with its fantastic Art department, to work on a portrait of my friend Claudia Bose, who’s currently their artist-in-residence. Claudia has generously been sitting for me once a week for 4 weeks, ever since I mentioned to her that I’d like to have another go at painting someone from life. Initially we were doing the portrait in her studio, but then we thought that the Ipswich School students could get another interesting take on artistic practice by watching and dialoguing with us about the work in progress. Normally, none of my studio work is ever from life, or even from sketches: the process depends on a particular intense energy between myself and the materials. But it’s always interesting to see what happens in a different setting, working in a different way. Painting a friend, and one who is herself an artist, is freeing: there’s no pressure to please the sitter as there might be in a commission situation. We were joined part of the time by a few students who worked alongside us. It’s quite nice to blur the boundary between making art and teaching, sometimes. I didn’t take a photo, so can’t show you the work in progress today – maybe next week. I’ll show one of Claudia’s recent paintings instead. See more at www.claudiaboese.info.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 In the studio I worked on Alice’s Adventures again. Thinking about how we cope with change, of the body and of the psyche. Coping with things changing around us, with unpredictability and with bewildering circumstances. How does Alice keep a calm inner strength, and a voice, when all this is going on?    I read a bit, I draw a bit. I’m struggling a bit with the acrylics, but I love being able to combine them with pastel, ink and conte. The studio is rapidly filling up with chalk and charcoal dust, and ink splatters on the walls and floor. I don’t seem to make quite as much mess with oil paints...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I set up a painters' group last year; we meet every six weeks or so, taking turns to meet in someone's studio and look at/discuss their recent work. This  morning we found ourselves once again turning someone's canvases upside down... It's very transformative, and often brings out a whole new aspect to a painting. It's something I do a lot in the studio by myself, too, part-way through a piece of work. So - my main piece of advice to a painter who feels stuck: turn it upside down! ... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I am surprised how upset I am.  I submitted work for an open submission exhibition (the Eastern Open, in this case) and yet again it was rejected. I’m so used to this, and I’m so used to trying not to mind, but it’s actually quite hard sometimes, particularly coming on the heels of so many rejections just recently. They should teach this module at art college: Toughness of Skin, And How to Keep on Not Being Bitter.   It’s expensive to enter these things, and time-consuming. My friend Robert says I’m crazy to even bother: “If you want to throw your money away, why don’t you do the lottery? Think how many tickets you could have bought...”  Robert’s away this week in New York, where the first of his two solo shows there opens in Lower Manhattan. He tells me that once, when he needed some money, he saw that the local big town was holding an open competition for paintings of the town centre. The winning painting would be purchased for a significant sum. Robert worked hard on his painting, did it really well, and submitted it. The person to whom he handed it over was bowled over by the painting, and said they thought it was bound to win.  So Robert was really surprised when it was rejected straight away, and not even hung. He went along to see the show, thinking that the standard must have been impressively high: but it was full of amateur paintings. The winning piece was nondescript and poorly executed. Presumably, if Robert’s painting had been shown, it would have been an obvious choice for winner, and the judges already had someone else earmarked to win.   Now, I’m not saying this applies in the case of the Eastern Open – I’m sure the standard must be genuinely high, and it’s curated by people who know a lot about art. But - I think the paintings I submitted are strong. Ah well. I did at least get a painting into the Royal West of England Academy this week. I kind of feel a bit silly about that, since the total cost of entering 3 works, plus taking them to London and back, plus carrier’s fees between London and Bristol, comes to around £100. What was I thinking? If the painting sells, or wins something, or leads to a show somewhere, all well and good, but if not, I’m a bit of a mug...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Wouldn't it be amazing to paint like Titian? I recently saw in the Louvre his portrait of a young boy, 'Ranuccio Farnese' (normally in the National Gallery of Art, Washington). The way Titian can use paint to be skin, to be fabric, to be metal... To say it's clever imitation misses the point, for me. It's more than that. My reaction to paint is a bodily thing, a felt thing, I can't quite explain it. Although I love looking at really good photographs, I don't get that kinaesthetic reaction to them that I get when I look at this painting.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794  'Poetry gets its energy from tension between the human imperfections, untidiness and limits it starts from, and its own struggle for formal perfection, for music and cadence'. (Ruth Padel, "52 Ways of Looking at a Poem”, Vintage, 2004).  This chimes with something I'm very aware of in painting at the moment: the energy inherent in the tension between the mess and almost-chaos of 'stuff', and the desire in the viewer (and the artist) for the soothing consolations of order and beauty. Off to the studio!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Rain drumming on the studio roof, and music playing as I work; I’ve had a better day today, after a run of disasters. I’ve been working hard every day on paintings and drawings, all of which (except today's) have ended up with ink or paint flung over them in desperation, or just turned mournfully to the wall.  I cling to the notion that time spent painting is never wasted as long as one is honestly challenging one's preconceptions and trying to be authentically experimental and open in a hunt for something true. I tell my students this all the time in the Life class, trying to get them to see that an afternoon spent crafting a slick, 'nice' (as they may see it) finished drawing might be of far less value than one in which a frustrating, messy time ends up with a crumpled, thrown-away piece of paper, if in the latter session they have really felt themselves stretched and challenged to look and see and work differently. Many, many sessions in my own studio – especially this week - end with no useful result in terms of paint on canvas that 'works'. More often than I would like, a good passage in a painting is obliterated, to be replaced with something mediocre that I know cannot remain for long. It can feel dispiriting, but I can't let it be. It's only paint, it's only canvas, it's only time... don't think about waste!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Manchester Art Gallery’s 'Angels of Anarchy: Women Artists and Surrealism' (2009) was a fascinating show. I’ve just been looking again at the catalogue this morning. I'd seen very few of the pieces before, except in books, so it was really worth going to. The paintings in the show were certainly interesting, but for me, more on a conceptual and historical level rather than as paintings. The 'stuff' of the paint, and the formal qualities of the surrealist paintings I saw didn't speak to me in the way I seem to need at the moment. I was most struck by some stunning photographic work, particularly by Lee Miller, Francesca Woodman and my favourite, Claude Cahun (1894 - 1954).... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 The fact that we artist-bloggers don’t just moan on and on endlessly about time and money is pretty incredible really. I know most of us (me included) have an ongoing battle with allowing ourselves any decent time in the studio to reflect and be really creative... I take my hat off to those artists who are the main wage-earner in the household, but there are also massive, complicated pressures on the rest of us (like me). This week I’ve actually managed very little time on what I think of as ‘my work’, though at least I’ve been in the studio a reasonable amount (working on a portrait commission, mainly - I’ve realised I’m going to have to start doing some portraits to make ends meet, until I have another show). Other than that there’s always the family to be looked-after (they’re cute and lovely but need time and care), the dog to be walked (ditto) and the house to be somehow managed (none of us are tidy and it all gets out of hand quite regularly). And the schools break up today for the Easter holidays... Stop whingeing, Emma, and get into the studio! (At least I’ve got one...)... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Silly really, but I feel compelled to add to my blog now, so that the portrait of my son won’t be the first work of mine that someone sees when they look at the Project Blogs page... This uneasiness about portraiture, I know a lot of artists and other arts professionals share it... I think for me it began the moment I first stepped through Central St Martins’ doors, aged 18. Thoughts, anyone? I’d love your comments. Now I’ll put up a different work to go with this post and probably feel more comfortable...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Loads of artists live here in Wivenhoe. I walk the dog along the estuary most days, often with an artist friend, and generally bump into another one or two. One friend maintains that ‘when artists get together, all they talk about is money (or lack of it)’. Which has a grain of truth, but thankfully we do often talk about other stuff as well. I do appreciate this; it’s good to share thoughts, successes and moans with other people in a similar situation. The other day I was told that Wivenhoe features in ‘Country Living’ magazine this month, as one of the ‘Top 10 best Artists’ Colonies’. I had a little look at the article in a shop yesterday and it’s true. No artists’ names mentioned, no photos of studios or work, just talk of the village being ‘attractive’ and arty and an easy commute into London, and ideas of house prices. (Yet again someone’s trying to make money out of artists, arguably with no benefit at all to us..!) I’m getting into the studio a bit more than I expected to (given that it’s the school holidays). Hooray!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I’ve been offered a solo show for February 2012. I’m pleased by the timing because it gives a good length of time to gradually amass work for it. I work on some of my paintings, on and off, for years. It’s one of the deep joys and luxuries of not being a student! Meanwhile I need to think about a show that’s coming up in June. I’d always planned this one as a chance to give some older work another airing. The trouble is that whenever I say that, I generally end up being unable to bear to show old work, because the new work is always what excites me most.  What should I do with the old work? It gets stacked up, taking up space. Of course some can be painted over, some ripped up, but... what about the paintings that lots of people say they really like, and that I think are good. No-one has yet bought them, but they may well sell one day. Oh to be Marlene Dumas or Shani Rhys-James, wistfully I imagine that they probably have someone scuttling around removing finished work and either selling it straight away or putting it safe storage somewhere.. Perhaps I’m wrong though... Space pressures in my little studio are more intense than ever at the moment, because I’m doing so many different things concurrently... Paintings (several at once) plus all the oil-painting equipment; large drawings, with a broad selection of pots of acrylic, ink, pastels, pencils, charcoal, etc; and then there’s the new portrait painting side of things, with a chair for the sitter etc (incidentally I did a really good one the other day, which gives me hope income-wise!).... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I’ve been in the Lake District all week, out walking in the hills every day, letting the richness of the landscape wash through me. The colours, the drama of ‘the Sublime’, the light (sun every single day!), but most of all it’s the textures that feed me. Mosses and lichens and rocks and glittering water. And never once do I feel that I want to ‘paint it’, or make any other kind of artwork around it. I often wonder why it is that for me, the urge to make art is so very particular in its focus. Am I unconsciously restricting myself, damming up some of the channels of creativity in favour of the one that primarily addresses the human form, and does so primarily in paint?... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 BBC Radio 4, the artist’s friend... What I love about Radio 4 is – well, lots of things. Most of all, it’s the way I can hear other creative people speak, particularly writers, but also visual artists, dancers, choreographers, musicians, etc, etc. It opens up fresh ways of looking at things, which after all is what creativity is.  I know several artists who listen while they’re working (though of course everyone runs into the ‘You and Yours’ problem – the time of day when the most dispiriting and anti-creative programme comes on air). However - unless I’m doing something routine such as stretching canvases or something, I don’t have the radio on when I’m actually in the studio, because it takes me into a different space. I need music whilst I work, but it needs to be somewhat familiar to me, and reasonably predictable (i.e. an album, not ‘shuffled’) so that I can be present and responsive with my work in a particular way. Having said all that, in doing these portraits recently, I’ve found that it’s okay to have my sitter watching a DVD or listening to a comedy CD [What I’ve Learned About Portrait Painting Lately, Part Umpteen – make sure it’s comedy, in an attempt to stop the sitter looking too mournful...]. Top choices for studio CD’s vary, I go through phases, but probably the most enduring is the Cocteau Twins. Time to stop blogging and get in the studio, Cameron...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Metaphor. Someone said yesterday that if you can find a metaphor for a problem, and look at the situation from that point of view, you’re half-way to solving it. I like that. Another friend has a theory that good art is metaphor, bad art is simile. He reckons it’s very straightforward. Personally I don’t think I can define art in blanket terms like that. I think art can be so much in the eye of the beholder. (An example: I was in someone's studio a while ago and was transfixed by the paint splashes on a small patch of floor. It seemed to me to be so much more lyrical and successful as a painting than any of the works on canvas... except that, of course, it wasn’t an artwork at all, it was neither consciously created nor held up as a piece of art.) Anyway, right now the main metaphor in my life is that of an axe crashing through my head – I’ve been suffering for three days with an awful migraine. I want to get in the studio but there’s no point trying to make art in this state: with a migraine, my way of looking, thinking and acting gets narrow and tedious. Idea: maybe I should work with the axe metaphor somehow, and imagine the positive aspects of what an axe can do – opening up, loosening, freeing, and releasing pent-up energy...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Someone from firstsite (a contemporary visual arts organisation, based here in the East of England) came to the studio today and we discussed ways to take my ‘Alice’ project forward. It’s so great that they want to be supportive. I make the work; they’ll help me get it into venues as a touring show. She’s gone off to research and identify galleries to approach; I now need to come up with a good title and also crack on with making the pieces. The aim is to get 20 large works on paper. I’ve already done six, some of which have been seen on this blog, but I’ve decided I want to eliminate colour and just work with monochrome, so none of the six will form part of the package. The only precedent for this (monochrome) is the short residency I did at firstsite a few months ago. I have the appropriate anxiety about this (what if I can’t pull it off?) which should make for continuing boundary-breaking as I’m sure to keep coming up against the ‘sod it, it’s hideous, I’ll have to do something drastic to it’ which occasionally leads to breakthroughs... (And also, sadly, often leads to crumpled messes in the bin!) Migraine's gone now, so I'm full of energy. Just got to make sure I spend that energy in the studio now, and not on the hoovering...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Fifteen stretched canvases arrived today! I want to spread them around me and glory in the sense of promise they hold (if I was a dog I’d be rolling in them like fox poo). I want to sluice oil paint around and twist the brushes and rags across it and immerse myself in slicks of colour. And what did I tell myself yesterday: must do more monochrome on paper....! What to do... I think a bit of both, if I can get away with it before the school day ends. Also: I feel so excited and flattered – one of my art heroes has read my blog, and he likes it! (And he said nice things about my work too). James Elkins is the author of my favourite book on painting: ‘What Painting Is’. It’s really worth a read if you’re a painter, or if you want to understand painters. http://www.jameselkins.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=227:what-painting-is&catid=2:trade-books&Itemid=9... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 The Sainsbury Centre for Visual Arts is currently showing an exhibition based on ‘the artist’s studio’ and has invited artists across East Anglia to upload photos of their studios to a flikr photo stream. I think this is a really nice idea (except, why restrict yourself to East Anglia?). So I took a few snaps and uploaded them today. See all the photos on http://www.flickr.com/groups/sainsburycentrestudio.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I wasn’t planning to blog today, but my partner has gone out with (inadvertently) both sets of studio keys in his pocket, which means I am locked out of the studio until he returns... very frustrating! It’s particularly maddening today because things have been so productive lately, painting-wise, and I really want to just get on with working (on oil painting, rather than the acrylic monochrome on paper that I feel I really ‘ought’ to be getting on with, but that’s another story...) The new canvases are still not unwrapped, because I have been seeing all sorts of ways forward with various unfinished but much-worked-on canvases that have been sitting in the studio. I think that’s the most satisfying part of the painting process. It’s the point where you seize things and breathe – no, beat - new life into something that was verging on being stuck. Often it fails, but when it works it’s thrilling.  One thing that I’ve been turning to my advantage, to my surprise, is the slowly drying paint in my tin of Flake White. I had been feeling annoyed at the fact that the paint in the tin (as opposed to the tubes I normally use) was hardening and forming unusable clumps. (Which it is). But there’s a point in-between softness and clumpiness that’s really exciting to use. Yet again it all comes down to White... (see post number 1 of this blog for more thoughts on White).... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Made myself get on with the acrylic monochrome work, for the ‘Alice Adrift’ project. Not feeling at all energetic to start with, but booted myself into action with REM’s ‘Orange Crush’ – it’s such an upbeat song, a quick blast usually does the trick, and it did today. Acrylics behave so differently from oils. Fascinating, but sometimes maddening! I worked on three A0 pieces, two of which had already been started (and in fact I believed them finished, at the time...). But how do I use acrylics? – I’ve no idea. Of course, the not-knowing is exciting and sparky, as I have to remind myself periodically. Take oil paint: beginner painters often believe there’s a formula out there somewhere about how to use it. I’m with James Elkins on this one: I really don’t believe the formula exists (apart from basic rules such as protecting the canvas from the oil if you want it to last). Look carefully at most great painters’ work - many of the so-called rules of oil painting are being broken again and again. This reinvention aspect of painting is part of what I find so compelling.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Got some photos done of recently finished work. This painting was begun years ago, and has been almost 'to hell and back'. There are so many versions buried in the paint! If you look at the image sideways, you might spot that the front of the headdress used to be a pair of small standing figures...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 My students would often describe themselves as ‘passionate’ about making art. For some of them this had a ring of truth, and of course there are many ways of defining the term. I’m reflecting on today’s long, tiring and not entirely fruitful session in the studio, and I think: this must be what ‘passionate about painting’ is. Why else would I spend such inordinate amounts of time, money and energy wrestling with paint? (Not literally wrestling, obviously, though sometimes it gets close...) One of the paintings I was working on has been through several incarnations over the past year, of which at least three (as I recall) were actually pretty successful. It looks completely different now. Definitely not better (yet). I keep struggling on with it because – why? – because of the search for resolution, I suppose, resolution on my own terms. I’m tired. But I can’t let it go. I sometimes think I could make a piece of video art by setting up a camera in the studio to record my practice over a long period of time. (Being video, it might be seen as more ‘contemporary’ than painting – or perhaps that’s just me being cynical and simplistic...)  Anyhow, it could play a part in the debate about what on earth painting is for. I wonder how many other people I could find who would agree that there was a point to all the working and re-working. And out of those, how many would see ‘resolution’ in a piece at the same point as I do – probably none! As a friend of mine says about her own artistic practice, ‘it’s as if I’m a scientist, devoting my life solely to studying the particular effects of frost on the left front hoof of a certain type of llama when above 1000 metres – how many other people are going to care about that?’ But it’s okay. Put the dinner on and get the kids to their swimming lesson.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Have been doing boring admin stuff. Created a pdf for the first time yesterday (to attach to emails to advertise for portraits). Having had absolutely no training in graphic design or computer graphics it hasn't come easily to me... I have been advised to make a facebook page so I did that today as well. Phew. I have some reservations about this; for example, don't facebook claim to have some sort of ownership over the images? But as they are on the web anyway maybe there's no problem. Spoke to a friend at the weekend who's a composer. He said that having made some of his music available to download free of charge on the internet has resulted in various paid commissions. Could it work that way for visual art, I wonder? Your thoughts please.... And by the way, if anybody reading this is on facebook, please feel free to 'like' my page, which is called 'Emma Cameron Artist'. Really, I just want to bury myself in primed linen and linseed oil - this digital stuff is all a pretence....... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I had a wonderful day of gallery-hopping in London with a painter friend on Saturday. We went to a lot of shows; the ones that resonated most with me were Phyllida Barlow at the Serpentine, Angela de la Cruz at Camden Arts Centre, Jenny Saville’s ‘Reproduction Drawings’ series at Gagosian, and Audrey Reynolds at Arcade. I’d never even heard of Audrey Reynolds before. As my friend said, ‘she really is a painter’s painter’. I loved the work and I also loved the piece that Jonathan Griffin wrote accompany the show. He writes beautifully about stains: ‘there is something reassuring about the indelibility of a stain. It is an index of an event that refuses to budge, a memory that promises to hold fast until we choose to discard it, along with the surface it’s anchored in. It is also personal: a stain belongs, by and large, in private and indoors’. Reynolds’ work has a quiet, delicate lightness of touch that stays in the mind for a long time. She also makes me think again about trying different supports, such as wood (perversely, since I have so many fresh new canvases stacked up in the studio!), and different media, such as household paint. http://www.arcadefinearts.com/... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 A sense of community with other artists is important to me. But I’ve never been someone who is comfortable networking in the traditional way: cosying up to the ‘right’ people at exhibition openings, for example. Which is part of the reason I began writing and reading artist blogs: to get a wider sense of engagement with other artists – especially painters – and an awareness of, and perhaps also dialogue with, what they are doing and who they are as people. And I want more videos! Ones in which artists speak about their artistic practice and concerns, and which show them at work or at least in their working environment. Thanks to the website of the wonderful Millennium gallery in St Ives I discovered a beautiful little film by Stuart Lansdowne about Naomi Frears; really worth watching. If anyone reading this knows of other short films about contemporary artists, please let me know. Surely, there must be loads out there, but I can’t seem to find them.  http://www.millenniumgallery.co.uk/naomifrears/interview.htm... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I went to the Jerwood space yesterday, to hear a panel discussion focussing on opportunities for emerging artists. The panel consisted of Josh Lilley, a gallery owner; Julie Lomax, Head of Visual arts at Arts Council England; David Rayson, Professor of Painting at the RCA; and David Cotterrell, an artist.  I suppose I mainly wanted to know whether there was anything I ought to know/do that I didn’t already. In respect of that, there probably wasn’t much that came as a surprise. The fact that galleries like to feel they’ve spotted you, not the other way round – people have been telling me that for years! The fact that networking really matters – all the Private Views and stuff like that – ditto (unfortunately, for a shy soul like me). But what I came away feeling generally encouraged, and glad I’d come all the way up from North Essex. I can’t remember why, but early on the audience was asked for a show of hands, to see how much of the audience would describe themselves as painters – and a large proportion did! I hadn’t expected that at all. I suppose my preconception is that the majority of artists would identify mainly with installation and photography. Does it matter? After all, you could say that if there are lots of other painters out there, it only adds to the competition. But I don’t feel that; I just feel some sense of camaraderie, of a shared endeavour. All the panellists came across well, I thought. I particularly enjoyed what David Rayson had to say. Such as ‘Live in your own film – do it to such a degree that it becomes a reality’ (he elaborated more on this, but I can’t write that fast, so didn’t get it down on paper). The event was being filmed; we weren’t told what for, but I’m assuming it will go on YouTube or something via A-N. I had a quick whisk round the Jerwood painting show again; I saw it a couple of weeks ago and have been meaning to blog about it, but haven’t yet got around to it. I shall soon.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 A long and probably ultimately fruitless day in the studio today, wrestling with the acrylics... How anyone gets it to work is beyond me! Two major issues: (1) trying to get the ‘stuff’ to work, the physicality of it all (‘the alchemy’ as James Elkins might say); (2) the big ongoing struggle which is always so intrinsic to my work: the struggle of working on the edge where a kind of emotive beauty meets something more visceral, raw and edgy. (The kind of emotive beauty I’m thinking about here lies in an appealing face, for example, perhaps with a soft expression.) Your strength can also be your weakness. In my case, the ability to draw a face in a certain way. The thing is, I do want my work to express aspects of human physicality, imbued with the emotional and (dare I say) spiritual qualities that we can infer when we look at it. On the other hand, there’s the danger of the work being ‘sweet’ and even pretty. I am conscious that I am really working on the edge of sweetness a lot of the time, and this I find invigorating, infuriating and really challenging. Quite often I seem to dramatically visualise it in my mind (remembering school geography lessons) as an arête, a knife-edged ridge. The path meanders, so you have to keep checking you are following the ridge exactly,  being constantly careful not to slither down into sentimentality/prettiness on the one side, or – or what on the other?  Loads of risks there too, ranging from brutishness to blandness to meaningless gesture to you-name-it. The other thing about ‘sweetness’ for me involves colour. The moment you move beyond monochrome black-and-white, you get caught up in people’s assumptions and responses to colour. The vivid magentas I often use – to me they speak of vigour, but to some people it’s prettily pink. And to others, these colours are simply distasteful. (To me too, sometimes! – I loved Thomas Hylander’s and Nick Goss’s subdued limited palettes in their paintings at the Jerwood art space, wondering for the nth time why I didn’t work this way...). Of course, it’s all really subjective. There will be plenty of people who find my work distasteful because of the types of faces I tend to paint, or the colours I use. And my own views change over time, too. A lot of my past work now appals me... Which is probably as it should be. Keep moving on.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 On a whim (meaning: not working on any of the three studio projects I feel I ‘ought’ to be working on...), I thought today I’d try something new: drawing in a concertina-style sketchbook directly from film stills. This was inspired by a video on YouTube of a dance piece called ‘Faun’. The two dancers have extraordinary fluidity and strength to their movements. I also love the sturdy muscularity of their bodies. My paintings and drawings never usually take photos as a starting-point, but when I went to see Jenny Saville’s reproduction drawings series at Gagosian recently, I felt that she’d probably used photography as a part of the drawing process, and it had worked really well. Saville's work had a sort of true inner muscularity to it, a sort of integrity and authenticity that I don’t often detect when an artist has used a photograph. Today's work is not to be compared with Saville's, for lots of reasons including the fact that it's on a much, much smaller scale. I'm interested in what I've done though; maybe it's the start of something... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKWXFoLqYeg&feature...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794  For various reasons I haven’t been in the studio making work this past week, and I miss it. On Tuesday I drove 23 paintings to south London for a solo exhibition. There was no-one at the gallery to hang the work, and their hanging system is bizarre: lines hanging down from a high rail, to which hooks are attached. Endless fiddling is required to get the lines in the right place, and the pictures level. I hurt my knee recently, and it means that going up and down ladders is not easy at the moment, so I was really glad to be accompanied by Daisy, the current intern from firstsite, whose help was invaluable. This is one way that regional arts organisations can really help artists – just by putting them in touch with people who can assist in practical one-off situations like this. I had a bit of a panic early on because it looked as though I’d brought far too few paintings; but actually an exhibition generally looks better with more space between the works, and it turned out to be just right – phew! On Thursday I went back for the opening, which wasn’t as well attended as I’d have liked because it turned out the gallery hadn’t sent out personal invitations other than advertising it in their brochure. Moral: be careful where you show, and make sure the gallery does their bit! To be fair, it’s a venue which gets used by a lot of people (so the work will be seen, which is bound to be better than having it stored in the studio) and their commission is low, but I think that in future I’ll be careful to check the details of what a gallery does and doesn’t offer to do. Actually I think I’m probably just grumpy because I have moved on a long way from most of the work that’s on show in this exhibition, and my concerns and love are now in the body of work I’m currently engaged with.  I’m going to get into the studio now...... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I went to a meeting last night which was organised by someone from firstsite (visual arts organisation). The aim of the meeting was to keep artists up-to-date with their plans for developing their artists’ support programme, and to invite comments and suggestions. We heard about a short-residency series in Hastings some years ago, which sounds wonderful... The artists doing these short residencies were expected to do something that would move their practice on in some way, doing something new and different. I found myself daydreaming about what I might come up with, given a few days in such a space... I had a taste of it in December when I was part of a firstsite project called ’15 artists, 15 days’ and found it really did move my practice on; that was just a single day, so imagine a series of four or five days... What would I do? This week I keep having a mental image of paintings/drawings on huge sheets of translucent paper hanging across a space, so that people move between and round them... One of the unanticipated side-effects of doing this blog has been that I often read the other artists’ blogs too, some of which are really interesting and thought-provoking. I’ve just been reading Judith Alder’s blog this morning, and I’m reminded of how enriching it can be for me as a painter to connect with the work of artists who work in other media. Maybe one day I’ll even find myself collaborating with another artist, imagine that... Okay, now I’ll head off to the studio to see what happened yesterday in there with ink and charcoal. It seemed to be working at the point when I left it, but looking at it with fresh eyes could be painful. Or exciting, of course – I must keep hopeful!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I was invited by the University of the Arts London alumni association to go to my old college, Central St Martin’s, yesterday to make drawings for a project they’re doing called ‘Mapping the Move’. The college will be moving to brand new premises next year, and people have realised that there will be a massive loss involved, namely of the Southampton Row building, which in many ways is quite the loveliest building I know. So, along with about eight other people I turned up yesterday morning with some drawing things. After a very brief introduction, we were left to go our separate ways within the building. My first visit since I left, I think.  What an experience... I expected to find it interesting, not to be completely overwhelmed, as I was, with great raw gushes of emotion! I don’t even know what it was all about; I think I’ll be musing on this and trying to unpick it all for quite a while. My time at Central was really mixed. I chose to go there initially because I loved the building, and I wanted to be in the very middle of London. And there was an awareness that my grandfather (who died before I was born) had taught lithography there for a time, so I suppose I felt some kind of sense of familial connection, however tenuous. Oh, and I’d seen one of the tutors on a TV programme about artists, which had impressed me greatly (and in fact he turned out to be probably the only tutor there that I think I ever really got any useful teaching from). I found myself focusing on small details: stained and cracked corners of beautifully-laid floors, original glass which had gently shifted shape over the decades causing the view of the Sicilian Avenue opposite to meld and shimmer, gracefully curling handles of window fastenings that over the years that had stood many sessions of painting and repainting, the cone-shaped metal pitcher in the etching room covered with layers of dripped straw-hat varnish. And the big, grand statements of architectural splendour: the stone window seats, the vaulted stone ceilings, the elegant windows, the stunning stairwells. I watched students amble around the corridors chatting, just as I had, and mucking about in the computer room. They stood around on landings speaking into their mobile phones and gave every impression of taking the place for granted, just as we had. I think I had felt the building to be a kind of supporting mother, absorbing its children’s expectations and hopes, and it spilled some of them back to me yesterday. The archive wants to keep all the drawings made. I don’t think much of my little sketches, but I may well work into or from them in some way. As well as drawing, I took a lot of photos on my phone. Why on earth didn’t I take a proper camera - I don’t seem to have a sensible way of getting photos off the phone at the moment, or I’d show you some. I think that sometimes (no, often) a photograph can be a lot better than a drawing, though there’s a lot to be said for going through the process of making a drawing, it really is a unique way of looking and reflecting on what you’re seeing. At one point I became transfixed by a bundle of orange wires streaming through a clumsily knocked soot-black hole on their journey between one room and another, high up in the corner of a hallway. It evoked all sorts of thoughts about the nature of things hidden and exposed, and about changing situations. The wires led to the computer room, which had been the 2nd year painting studio when I was there. I felt absolutely drained afterwards.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 One of the hardest things when making art is putting aside all thoughts about pleasing one’s audience. Notions of how I imagine a certain type of viewer might react keep creeping into my consciousness as I’m working. I try quite hard to disregard these thoughts, and keep searching for what it is that I am trying to express.  My paintings need to be coherent, and honest, and direct, otherwise what’s the point? Plus, who is this imagined audience? Is it the people at the High Table of the Art World, the major galleries and the funding bodies and those who influence them; or the smaller galleries who take (or might potentially take) my work; or curators and writers; or my fellow artists; or the people who’ve bought my work in the past; or my family and friends? It’s ridiculous to try to work to please any of these, in no small part because in pleasing one set, you probably automatically alienate another! I painted in the studio today with a huge sense of relief, because yesterday all my precious studio time was taken up with going to east London to collect work that didn’t get into the Threadneedle exhibition. I have to keep brushing away the questions that bubble up in my mind, the ones that go along the lines of ‘Why didn’t they ‘get’ it?’ People look at my work and they must see something different from what I see, there’s clearly something fundamental that somebody (them or me) doesn’t get. Ah well. There’s lots that I just don’t get. Elizabeth Peyton’s work, for example. Here’s the painting I was working on. I don’t know how close it is to being finished. Could be almost there; could be that I’ll end up obliterating the whole thing... We’ll see. Today, I like it.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 I’m the ‘Visiting Artist’ this week at a girls’ school in Gloucestershire, partly working with some of the pupils, and partly working alone on a piece on paper, 7 metres long. The pupils are very lucky, because they have had real animals to work from: various dogs, a barn owl, two tarantulas, and a tortoise. The girls are coming up with some great work, and they’re loving the experience.  As far as my own piece went, I was very anxious for the first couple of days that it wasn’t working, and was dull and predictable - but eventually exasperation took over and once I’d made a few drastic changes (including obliterating a figure that I’d spent hours sweating over) and fought with it a lot, it began to turn around. I ended up with landscape in it too – unheard-of for me. I feel like the week has allowed my practice to move on a bit, as I’d hoped it might but had feared it wouldn’t. More residencies please!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 Finally I have taken the plunge to 'go frameless' and it seems to work well in my current show, 'The Vivid Gaze'. The exhibition is actually in a bistro, not a gallery; I've never shown work in this type of venue before, and was a little hesitant when they first asked me, but it's proved a great way of getting the work seen by loads of people. People keep coming up to me and giving feedback about the show, which can be really interesting. http://www.jardine-bistro.co.uk/ Regular readers will have noticed that I've had a 6-month 'sabbatical' from blogging. Somehow I felt a need to become very quiet and private with regard to my work, and my relationship to the art world (in its wider sense). I had begun to feel a bit disgusted with the aspect of being an artist that involves using words rather than paint, and particularly with anything to do with marketing. But of course some marketing is essential if you want to encourage the flow of work through and out of the studio, whilst earning enough money to keep going... It's a problematic area for me. And my website, www.emmacameron.com, is ages out of date, because I need to spend a lot of time and probably money on reconfiguring access to it (ever since I got a new laptop there has been a problem, and even the geekiest friends have admitted being stumped about how to solve it, after hours of trying...). I resolve to somehow get it sorted this month though!... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794 The local visual arts organisation, firstsite - soon to have an amazing new space which they are careful not to call a ‘gallery’ (!) - has set up a Collectors’ Group, who came to visit me a few days ago. I felt quite embarrassed at the state of some aspects of my home, like the horrendously uneven ancient concrete of the driveway, the marks left by logs all over the walls near the wood burner (we’ve just run out of chopped logs to put there) and the patio covered in patches of soapy water from the washing-machine which has struggled to get through the temporarily blocked drain... But of course, being an extremely polite set of people, they refrained from commenting on what to their eyes may have looked a little squalid. Sigh. It’s at times like this that I can see more of the plus sides of having a studio in a ‘proper’ block of artists’ studios. Anyway, the Collectors’ Group came, and I showed them some work, and took them into the studio, and talked about my work, and they seemed to go off quite content. In fact, they went off to have lunch at Jardine bistro, where I have work on show at the moment, so hopefully they felt that all fitted in well. It’s odd not having feedback though. Perhaps I’ll try and get some, somehow. I’m funny about talking about my work. Friends tease me because I’m usually deeply reluctant to do it. But sometimes, if I sense a genuinely interested audience, and I’m geared up to talk, and the environment is calm and quiet enough so it’s not a strain to be heard, in the end I find loads to say. But I always want to emphasise that painting is painting, a different language from speech, and words can never be adequate to express what is communicated in a painting. Words can sometimes help as signposts, though, I suppose, to help guide people towards a deeper understanding of what the painting is saying.... Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.a-n.co.uk/artists_talking/projects/single/611794