ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [29 January 2011]

To residency or not to - that was the question:

When first approached by Pangolin for this opportunity I was both excited and disappointed, and frankly quite confused.

On the one hand it seems perfect timing: following on from a 3 month residency from February to April 2010, I had realised that what I need is to consolidate the discoveries I made then and extended studio time, away from daily pressures of making a living, would be just what I meed to really develop as an artist.

I would get a great fully kitted out studio in Kings Cross to use for a year, some materials, technical support from the foundry, and if I can do the work to justify it - a solo show at the end of it, in an amazing gallery which would place my work in exactly the right context that I want it to be viewed.

On the other hand - I was pregnant, and already had a 3 year old. I had been thinking that 2011 would be mostly taken up with a maternity break whilst I cooed over a new born baby and made sure my son bonded well with his new sibling.

Should I try to persuade them to let me have the residency in another year or so, or was the risk of loosing the chance too great. Would I get more out of it in a year when I wasn't giving birth  - yes probably - but who knows - it might be harder to do it with a 2- and 5-year-old who can both talk and want to see more of me, than a new born and a 3 year old. And currently I have a great support network of family to help me with childcare which I can't guarantee will last forever.

If I did it an could get what I hoped out of it, then I would be so much further ahead in my artistic development by the start of 2012, and I might be in a position to be taking on other even greater opportunities.

So, after a lot of soul searching and thinking and talking to various people - and, I'm so lucky for this, the encouragement of my husband and mother - I decided to put in a proposal to Pangolin London for the 2011 Sculpture Residency at Kings Place.

# 2 [31 January 2011]

The first month

So, as you might have noticed – I’ve started this blog at the end of January, so in theory nearly a month into the residency, but in practice I haven’t really started yet. This is frustrating but I supposed inevitable as things take time to set up. Partly this is because I was only told that I was to be awarded the residency the week before Christmas, and having spent a few weeks in limbo, I’d persuaded myself that I wouldn’t be getting it so had accepted lots of things for January.

The main thing I have done is that I have hired an assistant! This makes me feel like a proper grown up sculptor and I think it will really help me to make the most of the residency. So I have James who is a recent graduate who will be helping me 1-2 days/week. The deal is that I’m going to teach him how to mould and cast, and he will then be able to help with a lot of the production side of my work. He gets lots of experience in sculpture techniques (he is more from an installation/media background) and an insight into my world – for what it is worth.

I advertised the assistants post on University of the Arts work placement board: http://www.arts.ac.uk/student/careers/ and was really chuffed that I got over 20 applications. It was quite hard narrowing down, but I managed to get down to 5 who I invited for interview. They were all really talented, keen and good assistant potential – however 2 did stand out above the rest and I’m hoping the other one will still be available to help me if/when James needs to move on to other opportunities. Not bad for an unpaid role.

So activities this month:

-          Doing my tax return for 09-10 (3 ½ days I think)

-          Packing and moving studio (3 days – and not quite done yet – but much easier with James’ help)

-          Trying to sublet my current studio

-          Work on a portrait commission (2d)

-          Finishing another commission (1d)

-          Teaching 2 days per week (6d so far)

-          Finding/hiring assistant (~1d advertising/managing, 1/2 d short-listing, 1 d interviewing)

-          Trip to Pangolin foundry in Gloucestershire – coincidentally to drop off my Olympics commission piece and to do some H&S inductions (1d)

-          Creative time in studio: 0 days :(

Well it all adds up to 19 days – and there have only been 19 work days this month so it is easy how quickly a month goes. I’ve also promised myself totally empty weekends with no commitments – this is my concession to being pregnant so I don’t get exhausted and ill. I’ve had to warn my friends that I might not see them this year, as my priorities are studio time and family, which is quite enough. Recent weekend have involved a lot of sleep.

I’ve also found I haven’t been seeing much of my 3 year old, a bit of manic time in the morning before dropping him at nursery, then on some days I just pick him up after he’s had supper and bring him home for a story and bed. I’ve also had quite a lot on in the evenings, so one week I only saw him an hour between Tuesday morning and Friday evening. Its tough and I think he is getting a bit more clingy as a result – when we are at home together he follows me round and gets upset if I pop upstairs “mummy I lost you!” So I’m trying to make sure we get regular good time together, part of this is that I’ve decided I have to get up earlier in the morning so it can be a bit more of a leisurely breakfast with a bit of time for play, rather than a battle to get him fed, dress and ready to go out the house between toddler tantrums.

At times I even forget I’m pregnant and hardly think about the upcoming birth, but the little one has suddenly got a lot more active and is reminding me of its presence doing a jamboree in my growing bump. Then I see someone with a little baby and I remember that we’re going to have ‘one of those’ soon, and I get all broody again.

I hope I can get some good creative time in February – it is looking a bit too businessy already for my liking…

# 3 [2 February 2011]

I've Started working in my studio

So, after a midwife appointment on monday morning, I spent the afternoon retouching/chasing some small wax sculptures in my new workshop. This was the first time I'd actually sat down to some work in the new space (as opposed to just unpacking and organising).

It took a while as I was getting used to new techniques - I can't use my baby belling as we are worried about setting off the alarms from overheating the wax and sending out billows of smoke. The repercussion of that would be evacuation of the whole building (including The Guardian newspaper offices), which takes about 1/2 an hour, and no one can re-enter for another 1/2 hour as they check the building. Not something I want to be responsible for...

But I used the soldering iron to heat my metal tools which works quite well. I am also getting my head round the wax heater - although it was filthy, lots of brown gunk down the bottom of it so took a while trying to clean it - not that successfully.

So in the end I worked from about 2-9pm!

On my way out met some very friendly security guards who showed me where the toilet is on my floor (I'm at -3 i.e. the lowest basement with the bike racks and car park). I'd looked before but had only found plant rooms! They also took me up to the ground floor in a lift I'd been unaware of. So I'm slowly beginning to find my way around.

Earlier I'd gone up to the lower foyer of Kings Place to use the fancy public loos (which is quite a hike). I must have been a strange sight, pregnant woman in blue overalls spattered with plaster, as I walked through smartly dressed people sipping wine and waiting to go to a concert!

After teaching yesterday, today (wednesday) I spent my first whole day in the workshop with my assistant James.

We finished sorting the studio, and moving my stuff onto the shelves. Its a bit annoying that none of the electrics have been PAT tested yet although I brought all my electrics in and requested it 13 days ago. As I've laid them all out on 2 of the metal work benches ready for the electrician to test them, it is stopping me from finishing organising the space, as well as not being able to use any of the tools or benches! (I also want to use the microwave for a hot lunch)

James then finished the last 2 wax men in the morning (I had started teaching him the technique in my old studio, and he's picked it up fast), and did a repair on a pewter sculpture in the afternoon. I was quite involved, but it was great having a bench drill to do nice easy straight drilling, although we still managed to break a drill bit in part of the sculpture (easily done as it was a 1.8mm drill bit).

Meanwhile, I made a few calls: ordering rubber and other materials (eish expensive - reminds me I need to see if I can get some materials funding). I then started having a play/experiment with wax. Made a few interesting shapes which I'll work back into next time, but still haven't got the temperature/consistency quite right for my molten wax experiments. Great to actually get to some creative work, but its not really going to start bearing fruit till I can build up some momentum.

However, realised I spent a lot of today commuting! I took me 50 mins to get my son to nursery as the busses and traffic were being a nightmare, then 45 mins up to Kings cross, so having left the house at 8.20 I only got there at 10am. Left at 5.15pm, stopped for a little while at my mum's, and got home about 7. That is 3 1/2 hours!

Need to work out how to do this more reliably and quicker...

Other news: I've sublet my (old) studio!

Which is great, but means friday will be spent finishing the studio clear (tomorrow teaching all day again). The weeks are just flying by...

# 4 [10 February 2011]

Insight into another artist's studio residency

I went to an inspiring talk in Matt Clarks studio last night. It was very interesting hearing about his studio bursary and what he has been able to do in the studio over the last year and a bit. 

Matt (http://www.mattclarksculpture.co.uk) got the studio off the back of the School of Saatchi TV show and it is partly supported by Kensington and Chelsea council Culture Service. 

Having previously done mostly installation work, he has spent the time in the studio developing more object based work. I was interested in the way he spoke about the space, with a whimsical affection, and how tied he felt his new way of working was to the space.

I quized Matt on timings - he really had developed a body of work that hung together and he was doing something interesting with. I was interested in how that had developed. He said he had effectively started working in the studio in about Feb last year and developed various ideas and works, but that it was really in September that the work he was showing us had started. The earlier work had been very important in leading to what he was doing. His girlfriend also said that lots of the pieces had been done very recently. It seemed like things had started coming together and was sort of snowballing into more and more inspiration and activity, but that it had almost taken 9 months to get to that point...

He had also managed to extend what had been a year, into two years, which he as really happy about as he felt that he was really getting into the work when it was originally due to stop. 

This makes me a bit stressed about getting on with my residency (only 1 year with a birth in the middle!). But also made me think about initially developing ways of working and ideas, and not worry about results or finished works for a while... 

This last thought may also be linked to something else I heard this week:

"free up and forget about results, and (do something that we) did as children, be completely creative and open to new ideas"

[This is at the end of Almuth Tebbenhoff video about her drawing workshop for proffessional artist: http://www.tebbenhoff.org/artclassvideo.php really worth watching, very interesting]

Meanwhile life and admin have still been getting in the way of me getting into the studio. Friday I finished the studio move and my assistant James was a star, helping me shift my boxes of sculptures into my attic, and the bigger ones into some storage I've got access to. The weekend was spent sleeping and trying to recover - on sunday I had wanted to visit my father who was in hospital after a big operation but I guiltily ended up just sleeping all day (and I think my bump is bigger as a result!)

This week:

Monday am: cleaned my old studio, bank, replaced bulb on car, parking permit
Pm: in studio pewter casting

Tues - teaching

Wed - am son sick, waiting for GP appnt, pm he was better so left w sister-in-law and finished pewter casts in studio, then went to talk in evening

Thurs, today - son has been worse overnight, had to cancel teaching, currently monitoring him and worried might have to go into A&E soon... but meanwhile we're both watching cbeebies and I'm trying to write this.

Tomorrow morning I fly to Italy. This is to do the chasing on my bronze Pyruvate Kinase (I've sold the original that was cast from the wax, so this is the 1/8). It is going to be in an exhibition of RBS members work in Pietrasanta (Mar-Apr), along with some smaller works I'm taking with me on the plane tomorrow. I'll be there for 6 days and will also catch the DonnaScultura show that opens this weekend. I'm wondering whether I should ship my moulds back to the UK to get cast here, but it is nice to maintain the like to Pietrasanta and the amazing community of sculptors there.

I can't believe when I get back it is then the last week in February! Time's flying...

# 5 [17 February 2011]

Back to civilisation (well, connectivity), central heating and my family - ah lovely - after a bit of a cold wet stay in Italy.

I was back in Pietrasanta to finish a bronze.

It was great seeing lots of friends and hearing everyones news - I also managed to see the opening and artist talks for the DonnaScultura show - great show of 4 female sculptors. Will try to upload some photos of this over the next few days - just got back this evening and have been doing early starts to be in the foundry soon after 7 am each day to get everything done in time.

Although it wasn't that cold, it was so damp the cold just went through me - and there were so many colds doing the rounds I'm crossing my fingers and trying to hit the vitamin C to avoid getting ill.

I did lots of skype to keep in touch with my 3 year old whilst I was away, and to try to assuage the guilt of leaving him when he wan't well.

But, glad to be home, and will hopefully write something more coherant when not quite so tired...

# 6 [4 March 2011]

Month 2 of residency completed and I continue to be frustrated by my progress - however, I've started doing some small maquettes and today I'm going to scale one up into a decent size maquette / small sculpture. 

When I say small maquettes, they are almost micro maquettes. It is a continuation of the work I was doing in Italy last year, but this time I poured molten pewter into water and got lots of interesting fragments. I've selected a few and just mounted them, joined a few together to create other bits, and player around with some ideas.

Two seem to be little beasts or creatures, and I've picked one which is about 5 cm high. It seems to be a cross between a weird tadpole and a deformed insect and is also reminiscent of early embryos. I'm not quite sure what it is about yet, but I know it has something special.

So, now I need to decide... how big shall I make it, what material, and should I try to use an internal armature or use a back iron to keep it flexible. I had a bit of a bad night last night waking twice with acid reflux (the joys of pregnancy) then again from a nightmare, before being woken by a coughing 3-year-old at 5am. Its now nearly 11am, and I'm a bit foggy, but maybe just want I need to let go of worries and just throw myself into this piece...

In other news - James my assistant is settling in, and we have nearly finished moulding and casting a commission I had to complete. It took us 3 days to make a reusable mould in rubber with a jesmonite jacket, and 2 days to make the cast (cold cast bronze), we did the squeeze (putting the 2 halves together) on Wednesday. On Monday when he's back in, we'll open it up to find out if it all worked ok!

# 7 [13 April 2011]

Just over a week to go before my due date and I did 9 hours in the studio today - a bit foolish perhaps - but I had a surge of energy so I thought I would capitalise on it.

Well, I've been a bit quiet on the blogging as I've been really busy. A few weeks ago I got a call out of the blue from an art consultant telling me I'd been shortlisted for a commission by his client - a law firm. Initially my heart sank as he said the installation deadline was mid august and they were looking for a 2m sculpture - sounded a bit impossible with a baby on the way.

However, they were very interested in my 'Dream of society as flawless as Diamond' series, and were looking to get a large version of that.

http://www.briony.com/works/dream-II_1.html

As it is a modular work, which involves a single repeated figure, most of the work is in production, so I decided it was definitely possible and I'd always wanted to do a big version of it, so I there was no way I could say no.

I've been having fun designing a new work using a 3D modelling programme - Google's Sketchup. It is free and fairly easy to use, but I have had the advantage of my younger sister's help (she is an architect so expert at 3D visualisations).

The presentation to the selection committee is next Wednesday, so I'm now pulling together all the material for the presentation - quotes, timescales, images etc... 

So - in the studio today James and I started to make the maquette of the sculpture - 1/10 size - out of brass rods soldered together. Its quite complicated and definitely a 2 person job, 1 to hold the rods at the right angle while the other solders them in place. I am so getting used to having an assistant, I'm loving it and might just have to make it a permanent way of working...

We were simultaneously also working on 2 moulds we had started on Friday. Unfortunately my pregnancy brain means I've done a few silly things, such as thinking I could get away with 5% catalyst in the rubber so that it would go off slowly (for the first coat), when in fact it didn't go off at all and needed to be taken off again! I should have got some slow catalyst instead...

But it was all salvageable, just means it will take a bit longer. I'm casting a portrait of a boy (a private commission I'd agreed to before I knew I had the residency) and my first new work: Embriect. It would have been great to get it cast before my maternity leave, but it will have to be one of our first jobs when I start back.

On Friday when James and I had started the moulds, I also had the Kings Place photographer in documenting my residency. He is a really nice and interesting man and was very easy person to have in the studio. But I do wonder if it contributed slightly to my errors with the moulding.

I also had a great conversation today with a sculptor who was helping advise me on my proposal. I remembered to make the most of the RBS (Royal British Society of Sculptors) of which I'm a member and they put me in touch with him. He made me think of a few things I hadn't considered (notably whether I should get myself VAT registered...) but also encouraged me to have confidence in myself. He had been on the selection committee for the Bronze Casting residency which I got last year, and said nice things about the way I had presented then.

Anyway, after working from 9-6 in the studio today, then an hour's commute home, pick up my son, got him into bed (I think - although I've had one "mummy I hurt myself" attention call) I'm now collapsed on the sofa writing this whilst my dear husband is cooking dinner in between work calls and blackberry emails as he's had some emergency at work as well. 

All this will change when the new baby decides to come - hopefully a bit after my due date...

# 8 [2 June 2011]

Back in studio with a 5 week old baby

And I feel great, really energised. I'm probaly just living on adrenalin and not sure brain fully functional but enjoying myself. I think it might be getting out the house and doing things, as have spent a lot of days recently in my pyjamas just nursing and sleeping and the many baby and mum jobs round the home.

The drive in was fairly easy, only 50 mins from my 3 year old's nursery with the sun shining, traffic mostly clear as its half term. Although still takes a while at 9am so dread to think how long it will take next week.

So, yesterday was my first day in the studio, and James my assistant came in too. We finished the jaket on the mould of my Embriect sculpture, and I'm going to start the cast today (cold cast bronze using jesmonite). We also finished the rubber on the boys portrait commission, and I did some chasing of the bronze cast 1/16 of Nature's Portent.

I've been galvanised back here as I have another exhibition opening next week: Totem Body at the Crypt st Pancras.

However, this isn't the first time I've worked, I also came up to Pangolin London 3 weeks ago when Tiny Marshall was 2 weeks old, but I did find that a bit exhausting.

Yes, so on Monday 8th May, I installed 'Emergence of Chemistry' in the Galllery for the Women Make Sculpture Group show. It was quite a marathon. I had to wake at 7am to breast feed Tiny Marshall, then get Small Marshall ready for nursery, drop him off at 9am, then pick up my mother (who was to look after Tiny whilst I worked) and drive up to the sudio. Got here about 11 and did another breast feed. Then from 12 - 3 (w small break for a sandwich) I worked on installing the 4 hanging platonic solids before another feed, and drove home at 4. Then I did it again the next day w my dad looking after Tiny whilst I drew and wrote on the wall to complete the installation.

Anyway, its now 11am, I've finished feeding (typing one handed whilst BF-ing), so now need to put Tiny down to sleep and get casting.

# 9 [1 July 2011]

On the train to foundry / leaving babies...

Visiting the pangolin foundry in stroud/chalford today to check my wax for Olympic commission and do some fire and angle grinder training. Hope not too tired for it.

I had a quiet day yesterday but have reached new depths of exhaustion and I put showergel on hair instead of shampoo. I'm being woken by both son's at the moment as my 3 1/2 yr old (Small Marshall) has decided he doesn't want to wear nappies at night any more, and although I 'lift' him (ie sit him on potty) when I go to bed, he doesn't always make it thro night without wetting himself again. So last night I went to bed at 12.30, was woken by Small Marshal at 4, then by Tiny Marshall at 5.50 for a feed, then alarm went at 7 to finish the feed and get ready to leave the house by 7.45.

My husband has taken the day off work to look after the 2 boys, which will be nice for him to spend more time w Tiny M as I tend to monopolise his care. It was also great as I didn't have to drop them at my mum's before catching train.

But I did find it hard leaving Tiny M, it will be the longest i've been away from him yet. I left him w my mum from 10am-8pm when I was finishing a bronze at the bermondsay foundry about a month ago, but this will be aprox 8am -10pm. He is so sweet and beautiful and tiny, I just had to give him another kiss before I left.

But its nice to be out in green hilly countryside on a sunny day, and looking forward to more time at the foundry.

# 10 [13 July 2011]

Funilly enough I'm finding it hard finding time to blog - can't imagine why!...

I had a great day at the foundry, being a bit of a pyromaniac I enjoyed setting light to the pan of wax more than putting out the fire :) but learnt how to hold a damp towel so my hands were protected to cover it and put it out.

I also enjoyed watching all the techniques and Ian, who I think it head of the wax department was great. He gave me another guided tour and really went into technical details, which I enjoy.

I also learnt you don't need to use a key to put a disk on or off an angle grinder, and it is only if it really gets jammed. 

Tonight I went to the degree show at the Art Academy where I sometime teach and where I did my degree. I'd spent the day in the studio with Tiny Marshall so I took him with me and wandered around with him in a baby bjorn carrier. He was very good and cooed and smilled at everyone. I thought the breadth and quality of the work was very good. And it was nice seeing lots of old friends and students. 

In particular I bumped into my friend who I was sharing a studio with until the residency started in January. We were both pregnant together, and her 3rd was born about 3 week after Tiny. She is also subletting her half of the studio, also to a painter, and we both agreed how funny its been when we've been back to see the space we used filled with 2 painters with easles and a lot less mess than we managed. 

As we were chatting Tiny M started getting fractious and hungry, so Felipe let us in to the art school office where we sat on a comfy sofa whilst I nursed him and we had a good catch up. She is busy with lots of sales and trying to do her waxes in her kitchen. 

It made me realise I really need to sort out some more help so that I can start getting back into the studio full time.

I have been feeling frustrated recently that I haven't achieved as much as I had wanted to in the first 6 months of the residency, and I need to start putting the foot down on the gas if I'm going to make the most of my time left.

I've been doing between 2 and 4 days a week in the studio, but not sure how productive I've been in that time. My aim is to be in the studio full time by september and doing good 6-7hr days of work. But the house is chaos and I get exhausted and irratable at times.

But I'm still not sure exactly what kind of help I want, and what we can afford. We talked about getting an au pair, but the house feels very small and it is very useful having the spare bedroom/spare bed to manage the sleepless nights. I'm now thinking more a home help type person as it is more keeping on top of all the laundry and cleaning and mess a family of 4 (its amazing how much mess a 3 1/2 year old can create in the time it takes to feed a 10 week old). But I'm in that catch 22 that I'm too busy to have time to sort it out - but I must...

Tiny Marshall is now 10 weeks and smilling lots, it is lovely just sitting looking into his face and making pretend conversation with him. When I'm frustrated by it all, its a guaranteed mood lifter.

Better get to bed now as its gone 12.30 and James and I are doing our first wax cast in the studio, for a mould we finished today.