ARTISTS TALKING

# 61 [5 May 2009]

Well! I have to admit I don't know where to start. I was going to talk about the incredibly interesting conversation I had recently with Valerie Bryson (google her - she's a feminist political theorist). She sent me her paper on time-use studies which is fascinating, and I'm chuffed to bits because she's agreed to write something for my artists book.

But now, I'm preoccupied by Andrew Bryants comment below, and can't quite focus. 'why have children?' I just don't know how to answer this  - it seems a very intimate thing to ask, and although I suspect Andrew is posing it as a philosophical enquiry, I can only think of very personal responses, (not all of which are polite! I wonder if his friend told him to mind his own business before that conversation ended?)

I think the word 'selfish' may be part of the irritant, as I suspect that most parents will argue that parenting is rooted in self sacrifice and generosity to another person, whereas non-parents are inherently selfish as they can choose when - and when not - to put others first.

I should also qualify my slightly prickly first reaction, by saying I'm not in the least offended by the question, which is one well worth asking. Not one I can answer here though. Except to say that all of the happiest moments of my life have involved my children, and as they get older I love asking their opinions -refreshing insight, lateral and flexible thinking and honesty that is worth more than most adults I meet.

# 62 [8 May 2009]

I've been thinking and researching about what it means to be a parent and an artist, and what a collective would be like and what it's for.

Here's a quote from c2c gallery in Prague relating to a show in 2007 entitled 'What Would We Be Without Children' - work by Matky a Otcove/Mothers and Fathers Collective (founded in 2001 by Lenka Klodova and friends - google her if you don't know her work, she's very interesting)

In the permanent flow of daily chores and stress, generated by the family life, earning money and the art production, we tend to muse upon the unjust and undeserved state we are in. Considering this situation we think that we surely haven’t chosen it by our free will and so we wonder about the existence of a variety of alternatives determined by our better choices.
This exhibition is a sculptural visualization of one aspect of the problem. http://www.c2c.cz/?id=2078

Also - Susan Jones suggested a good name for the collective - APT = Artists Parents Talking. What do you all think? I'd also welcome any suggestions about how we might start communicating - an online forum perhaps, or other type of online group?
 

 

(

# 63 [8 May 2009]

My studio is such a mess I've had to move into the big shared area to work. I'd get really wound up if the house was that chaotic, yet I'm very comfortable in my own personal disorder.

Anyway - here's the plan so far. I had to write on a big piece of brown paper, ideas jumping from APT and related ideas, to other projects, all within the context of how much time I have in the next 12months and how much i need to earn - trying to find ways to do things that are part of my art practice and have potential for bringing in some money. I don't want to find myself responsible for a project that doesn't interest me in the end, so I need to be clear what does interest me!

I think APT should begin linking people up through an online forum or something similar - the only criteria that you need to be a parent with caring responsibilities and a visual artist. The mini case studies on a-n have triggered a lot of interest so this could be something we expand on. There are the obvious possibilities of developing peer support, strategic advice, peer mentoring, information sharing. The barrier to participation might be that it's yet another 'thing to do online' when we're not blogging, twittering, updating axis, etc. Still - try it and see I reckon.

Ultimately I would like to raise funds for a sort of collaboration/ residency - members would apply to take part. It would take place over an extended period so artists could come and go according to their domestic commitments. Childcare would need to be tailored to each artists needs. I'd really love to revisit the Womanhouse project (feminist art programme, Calfiornia, 1971http://www.womanhouse.refugia.net/ ) - secure a house/flat for a couple of months and collaborate to develop site specific works throughout. There's a virtual womenhouse project, so there may be links to be made there; http://www.cmp.ucr.edu/education/programs/digitalstudio/studio_projects/webworks/womenhouse/default.html

Also potential to link with mothers and fathers collective in czekoslovakia, and I'm going to New York in the aumtum to meet with women artists linked with A.I.R Gallery.

I need to do more research, refine my ideas and assess the level of support for the idea, then look at fund raising, but I am interested in this. I really want to raise awareness of the challenges and inequalities we face, and the important contribution parents make as artists.

Ok. This was supposed to be a computer free studio day, so enough now.

# 64 [8 May 2009]

just found this info about another project inspired by womanhouse. Shame I've just missed it, but I'll contact them as I'm going to New York soon.

http://suzyspence.com/themoodbackhome/

While I think of it, I would also be interested to hear from any parents/artists in the Huddersfield/ Holmfirth area - particularly any that have lots of fun and the odd drink as I still haven't got enough of this in my West Yorkshire life.

# 65 [12 May 2009]

Susan Jones (a-n Director) has been in touch to offer support for APT = Artists Parents Talking!;

'I think we could help the APT artists as parents talking group create up a forum. Our IT developer is up on Monday and I can ask her to advise. It would be great to see AT acting as a catalyst in this way.'

Brilliant - I'm very excited about getting this moving now. It keeps popping into my mind when I'm trying to concentrate on other stuff today - Creative Partnerships work, writing my biog and a case study for a proposal for an audience and market research project, prep for talking to a shop owner about an installation idea. Wish I could stop the clock.

# 66 [14 May 2009]

My lovely anthropologist friend,Anna, sent me this link to an article about the Co-operative Correspondence Club, a corespondence magazine established in 1935, by isolated housewives.

'each contributor would write pieces on any subject, mail them to the young woman who would stitch them together inside a cover and post to the first name on a prearranged list; that person would read and/or write any comments in the margins and send on to the next name and so on until the magazine had been fully circulated. '

What a lovely idea in this day of internet networking.

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/article1453340.ece

# 67 [14 May 2009]

I think APT should talk about planning a NAN application - the deadline is drawing near, and it would be great for a few of us to get together - use the money for travel, venue and childcare (or bring kids along and work around them), and have a gathering.

Perhaps in the middle of the country somewhere central for everyone - maybe in a bunk barn or other cheap self catering accomodation for an overnighter?  - I always think conversations change tone and relax in the evening (possibly something to do with opening wine, but not necessarily)

Maybe there's a sympathetic gallery, exhibition, or other organisation we could visit - all suggestions welcome, but we'll need to get our skates on and divide some of the jobs up I think.

# 68 [18 May 2009]

I've been reading Valerie Bryson's paper on time use studies again. It's set me thinking about the fact that as a parent I am always on call, never off duty. It's more a matter of the degree of responsibility. As Valerie points out, even sleeping involves childcare, as a child is liable to wake up and need something at any point, and I have to be in a fit state to deal with it.

Here's my sliding scale of responsibility. 0 is completely carefree and 9 is total attention to children.

when I am asleep 1

when they are asleep and I am in the house 2

when they are asleep and I am out, but nearby 3

when I am away overnight and partner is in charge 2

once, when I was in Kyrgyzstan with no phone, email or other contact with home 0

during school hours 3 (need mobile phone on and need to ensure I or someone else can collect sickly children/ do the school run).

first thing in the morning 7

any time when children are experiencing extreme emotions (ill, upset, in the school play, excited)- 9

This is probably boring for you, so I'll stop there. but fascinating for me. I might see if partner will do it, so we can compare approaches. hmmm. might cause a row, so will have to be careful how to approach this.

 

 

# 69 [20 May 2009]

I think it's time this blog got back to the art - I'm quite happy to go off at an interesting tangent, but I think I might lose sight of the purpose of the exercise.

I'm in an in-between stage, trying to decide which ideas to follow next. I've got a week set aside for filming myself opening 2 boxes of my old belongings that my mother packaged up and gave me 10 years ago. I've never looked in the boxes since.

I feel I need to revisit all my notes about recent progress, to set the scene in my head before I do it. Here's a selection of my unedited notes, in the order they popped into my head;

My over arching intention is to explore how we become who we are, with reference to feminist theory – I am experimenting with different methods of investigating this – conversations, blogging, writing, desk based research, making images and installations.

I am looking for ways to understand  issues of identity and gender roles in domestic situations more deeply,. I use a range of methods to do this;

  fantasy inventions, imagining different ways that women might respond to this predicament (eg. What the Chamber Maid Saw).

blogging about my experiences as a way of observing and instigating changes in my own situation.

I get into character for doing the school run, and observe myself breathing life into the role. This in itself is a creative process.

The process of making the work, reflects the content. This self reflexive approach is fascinating and suffocating.

 I try to tune into the details – details are what connect us – I remember the way someone moves their eyes when they speak, or their hands – this is how we see life. I try to go beyond the overlooked familiar and find information in the details of the dirt, dust and detritus we leave behind. 

I look for clues about people's private and public identity as symbiotic qualities. I consider this in terms of 'truth', 'fact' and 'memory' – all of which are shifting and unstable, and yet somehow determine our sense of identity.

I like the voyeuristic quality to my work. It is in some ways a side effect of what I do, although it may also be the major factor. We are compelled to peer into lit windows at night time, and gain an internal sense of satisfaction and power from doing so. I enjoy the feeling of power from provoking this need in others, and the ambiguity about the 'truth' of what I am presenting.

Writing lists, keeping records of all the domestic planning and co-ordinating

 I plan to develop my own time-use study on Twitter 

Initiating a new network for parents who are artists – APT = Artists Parents Talking

 

# 70 [23 May 2009]

 

I'm going to New York in the autumn – a research trip, funded by ACE and supported by A.I. R gallery... I'm feeling a bit nervous about it now, because I suffer with dysgeographica (geographical dyslexia – I even get lost in buildings that I have worked in for years, public toilets, my home town). Yesterday I spent a frustrating and humiliating half hour pacing round a multi storey car park (probably going in circles, but I can't be sure as my sense of direction is so limited).

 I keep thinking I might start to document some of my lost experiences.

It's so distressing though – I get really panicky and feel genuinely worried that I might never find where I want to go. It's almost hopeless asking for advice, as I can't apply what they say to the actual road. Maps are the same – they make sense as maps, but don't seem to relate to the actual road. It's like trying to understand a complex philosophical or mathematical theory – I see how it could make sense, but have no idea of how to apply it in a real situation. If I arrive at a junction from a different direction, I don't know where I am. How am I going to do New York?!!