ARTISTS TALKING

# 59 [30 April 2009]

I have walked the length and breadth of Manhattan, my feet feel like they have been tenderised almost as much as my brain. Anyway it was fun, I walked for miles and miles and miles in the rain, skipped through central park and drank heavily in many Irish bars. I saw a tramp take a dump in the street and ate lots. I got paralysed with fear at the top on the Empire State Building (which I kept calling the Eiffel Tower) I ended up having to take some photos through the telescope things because my hands shook so much when I got near the edge. It was also really loud. I spent much of the week trying to record sirens on my phone. I remember laughing at Johanna Hallsten in San Francisco for trying and repeatedly failing to get her recording equipment out in time to capture the firetrucks, now I know how she feels. I managed to see one show too! Younger than Jesus at the New Museum in Soho (I think) it was extremely camp, over the top crammed with fun stuff. On the top floor was a show reel of recent significant media so the viewer could understand the mindset of these young artists. I enjoyed the Big Brother section but was disappointed that Hollyoaks was overlooked, I haven't got a TV at the moment and am really missing it. Today I am preparing for a film making workshop at BCA. By preparing I mean I am about to hurl a load of crap into a big suitcase and see if any of my cameras still work. I don't hold much hope for the cameras, I think San Fran did for them. Otherwise I am thinking about whether blogging has affected my career or work (and Facebook and now Twitter for that matter) I will blog the results later today.

 I'm not a great Twitterer, this is my latest Tweet??

Recording morse code for my satellite film and packing a big case for my workshop at BCA on Saturday

# 58 [18 April 2009]

I haven't achieved much this week. I am still waiting to find some sound for my space ship film which I have decided is more of a satellite film as the bloody things just go go round and round in my now almost totally black studio. Maybe something will present itself in New York (place name drop) When I get back I've got a few days to get ready for my first workshop at BCA I have the usual terrors while presenting a very relaxed facade. We are going to make an adventure film or maybe a disaster movie, I'm not sure which yet.

 I finally got into the Guardian this will make my mum and dad very happy. I must admit I did a little skip.

# 57 [12 April 2009]

Dashed to Bedford yesterday to bung up a little light for my self portrait which is now concealed behind a black curtain (best place for it) Eva had done a wonderful job tidying it all up and it did actually look ok. There were well over a hundred people (+ kids) at the private view.The kids seemed to especially like the most fragile things and one did 'rescue' a boat from its icy (polystyrene) grave spilling beads all over the floor. Unfortunately I couldn't drink but I brought a friend with me who made up for that and at one point started to drag passers by in off the street. The Guardian didn't use my picture, hopefully it will be in next week. I'm at my studio again today catching up on emails writing and filming satellites/space ships, I haven't decided what they are yet. I'm going to upload photos of the show to http://www.notantarctic.blogspot.com/

# 56 [9 April 2009]

I think I'm on top of things.

Well thanks to Eva's energy we managed to get the show almost completely up on Tuesday, though not in the way I had planned. we made lots of changes as some of the work went up and came down and went up again. Though mostly it was very quick and easy. There is a little tweaking to be done and I have to make a small light to illuminate my self portrait. Eva seems to have great faith that I will be able to make it work (despite having detailed knowledge of my working methods) I've just been writing a short gallery guide, price-list (arrg) and sent off an image to the Guardian, so I think I'm on top of things. Last night I met Nadia Hebson and Paul Becker, though I didn't say much as I was cross-eyed from gin poisoning. Otherwise in the quickest response ever to a submission to an AN listing I'm going to be showing some Stargazer films in the windows of a tower block in Belfast. It seems a great place to put them. I think I'm on top of things.

Goodbye to most of the daydreams opens at BCA gallery Bedford at 12pm 11th April

# 55 [6 April 2009]

I've been sending emails back and forth with Eva today, while I sand blocks of wood which might become shelves tomorrow. She's arranged a meeting with Coline Milliard (www.colinemilliard.co.uk) who is going to write about the show. I've seen an article she wrote for Anthea Hamilton's show Gymnasium which I enjoyed but am slightly scared as usual. Anyway the show isn't up yet but hopefully we'll get most of it done tomorrow. I've just remembered also I promised to put together another Black Flag Game fanzine for the show which I haven't even started. Apart from that and the shelves I think everything is ready. In my studio amongst the camping paraphernalia I've stated to make some shiny satellites out of Raymond's bits and pieces. Raymond was the husband of a friend who died last year. I've sprayed them with reflective paint and started to assemble a complicated mobile over my camp bed. (photos to come) I've also been making more plane crashes. 

# 54 [5 April 2009]

I thought I was supposed to be going to Bedford today to begin setting up my show. Admittedly there was a message from Eva on my answer machine, a very long message. But I have no clue what it said. My answer machine often records fuzzy mumbling for me or sometimes nothing at all. Usually the messages are something to do with life assurance so I don't mind. Anyway having wrestled a large bag of potential shelves to the gallery door I found it locked. Perhaps I should have phoned her. As I pressed my face against the window I could see that lots of work had been going on, the walls looked painted and there was a test graphic of the title on the wall. I took some pictures and drove home. On the way I saw absolutely nothing interesting.

# 53 [17 March 2009]

I keep leaving it too long between posts, it has been 19 days since my last confession. I am going to have to force myself to get back into the habit.There has been so much I could have written about and I have no excuses for my extreme laziness. In the interests of brevity I'm going for a sort of list approach in roughly chronological order.

1.  Went to London to see a show at Rokeby really liked it and started to write something to send to Josie for "Hit and Miss" the deadline is looming and I'm getting a bit depressed with the half finished jumble of words I have on my desktop.

2. The same day one of our students died of a brain haemorrhage, he was a lovely lad (they always are). Very tall too.

3. Met up with Eva at BCA to drop off the last bits (honestly) for "Goodbye to most of the daydreams" picked up the invite cards and discussed a few bits and bobs.

 4. Stayed on to see Jane Edden's talk at the gallery. She was really good and her Icarus film was beautiful (I've just realised I was supposed to email her).

5. Recieved a rejection from the Daiwa Foundation and was asked to show work in France in Kerry Baldry's One Minute Volume 3 and James Hutchinson (via Axis) invited me to be in a show of video and performances in Manchester and Switzerland. Apparently Laurence and Paulette at International 3 had recommended one of my films to him, so that pack I sent off 2 years ago must have worked. I also got some work into UAMO in Munich (AN opportunity) but had to go through the humiliation of calling Johannes and asking him what I had submitted.

6.  Had a show in a local gallery with a friend. Lots of people came and made lovely comments. But I wish I hadn't bottled out and spent a fortune on framing as I didn't sell anything. Still Hayley Lock asked me if I would do a swap and I love her  stuff so that's not a total dead loss.

7. We invited Jock Mooney to come and talk to our students today, he did a good shouty presentation which we thoroughly enjoyed. Afterward he said he'd seen my work at Vane, it turned out it wasn't the Protest Films which were in a little show there but rather compilation they were looking at in the office. He didn't get into the Daiwa foundation thing either so he, me and Hayley are planning a drunken sneerfest at the opening of the London show.

8. Josie sent me an invite to a show at space wwhich read "which I hope that you will come to see and review for a-n if you so wish." note the scary bold, I'd better do it.

# 52 [27 February 2009]

I've been to BCA gallery three times in the last month now. Just popping backwards and forwards dropping work off and talking to Eva about how to hang the show. Its quite odd looking back through work made last year (although I have added the odd bit since) I've designed the invite card (twenty two versions) and agonised over the merits of correct grammar vs the poetic (in my mind).  I've given Eva a list of galleries to schmooze, which she has started to do already. Eva is very tenacious and not willing to be put off by aloof British ways. I feel sorry for them.  I've had things framed and stressed about the relative merits of reflective and non reflective glass. I've thought about shelves and relationships between different works. Luckily I will run out of time soon and just bung everything up. At the same time I'm about to set up a very local show with a friend of mine (Andrew Vass). It has no title now because the gallery owner didn't understand the one we proposed, and a bizarrely secret opening party. Anyway, I've designed the invite card. I've had things framed and stressed about the relative merits of reflective and non reflective glass. I've thought about shelves and relationships between different works. Luckily I will run out of time soon and just bung everything up. The next post will be more interesting I promise.

# 51 [14 February 2009]

Three of my friends dragged me out of my pit last night to go and see a drawing show in London. A sort of invitational melange at Crimestown called Drawing with Dolphins curated by Marcus Cope and Stephanie Moran. It was fabulous and so packed that we had to conga our way twisting like olympic limboers around the curatorial dolphins that hung from the ceiling. Drawings were everywhere including the ceiling. We even snaked our way into the toilets to find some lovely little snowman photocopies, though I felt people were looking at us strangely when we emerged together after 5 minutes. I'm really enjoying this jumble sale approach to hanging shows, I've seen a few recently and was wondering if it was some sort of new credit crunch aesthetic. There is certainly a sense of getting your money's worth (not that it cost me anything).

Recently I have been doing quite well at private views but I did manage one moment of mild humiliation. I wanted to look at a lovely pencil drawing of a woman with no eyes situated behind the buttocks of a chatting clique. I saw my chance when a small space was made by a more confident viewer. Just as she moved away I swooped in for a look. Simultaneously the clique, carrying out some sort of balletic plot, stepped backwards closing the space and I was forced to pull out of my dive pirouetting away with hunched shoulders and bowed head. Three people were watching laughing hysterically.

# 50 [7 February 2009]

This is late in coming but I thought I ought to write an 'aftermath post' The main reason I'm doing this is to distract myself from writing my evaluation for my Arts Council Grant. Its been a valuable exercise by which I mean a complete pain in the bum (not the Grant, the evaluation). If only I'd kept my Arts Council spending figures separate from the rest of my accounts. Its a tangled web which I am trying to unweave. Still I've worked out that although I haven't achieved everything I had promised I've managed to spend an absolute fortune on other areas. Either I will be praised for my zeal or sued for financial mismanagement. I just have to work out which column to put a cheese and chutney sandwich I had in Stoke on Trent...

San Francisco was fun, showing my work, rubbing shoulders and heaving fish tanks with people I've heard of. 

http://www.thingsthatarenthuman.com/

 I forgot to mention there is also a book of writing to go along with the exhibition which has excerpts from this blog nestling amongst some much better writing.