ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [15 September 2008]

Outline Proposal

I propose to exhibit a show of works that are interpretations of contemporary art works and contemporary artists themselves, in the form of sculptural soft toy dolls.
The exhibition would consist of an installation of fabric creations, some completed and some currently in progress, which utilise traditional doll making techniques resulting in sculptures that reflect and overtly reveal their handcrafted making process.

Rationale

What initially began as a deconstruction of the stereotyping of children’s toys, with a series of archaeological Barbie and Action Man dolls, (in reference to Baudrillard’s theory of Simulacra and Simulation) has become a continuing theme within my artistic practice, where I create and appropriate doll imagery.
Through making “Manga Magne” and “Minor Magne” dolls, and the creation of a doll effigy of Damien Hirst’s For The Love Of God I have developed doll versions of Duchamps’ Fontaine, and Hirst’s Mother And Child Divided. 
The parasitic nature of the works is intended to be playful and alludes to the artistic traditions of mimicry and artisanship which, in the case of these works, can be simultaneously interpreted as homage and parody.

The homemade aesthetic of my doll version of Sarah Lucas’ Two fried Eggs And A Kebab, for instance, could initiate an additional feminist critique or undermine its position as art-world icon.
The soft toy aesthetic physically and visually alters the original art works message and it is this diversion that I am most interested in. What happens for example when I render Lucas’ table, in Two fried Eggs And A Kebab, with floral fabric or remake Duchamps’ Fountain from satin wedding dress material?

Proposed New Work

I am currently extending the project to dolls of artists themselves, including Gilbert and George, Grayson Perry, Tracey Emin, and Van Gogh.
As an installed exhibition I would like to vary the scale of the works, they need not be to the scale of the original art.  I envisage Duchamps’ doll “Fountain” as a giant fabric piece that the audience could sit on and climb into.
The series of doll art works may be exhibited as if in a toyshop, in boxes with the manufacturer (the artist) acknowledged on the packaging, corporate logo included.
With versions of Tracey Emin’s Bed, Duchamp’s Fountain and Van Gogh’s chair I would create a whole art doll’s house.
I am currently planning a life-sized Grayson Perry doll with a range of clothes. The audience will be encouraged to dress and undress the artist. 
Clearly I will need to seek funding and support for the more ambitious aspects of this project proposal particularly to finance collaboration with upholsterers and seamstresses for the larger works.

This is the working proposal. It is subject to adaptations and alterations as the project progresses.

For more information and images, please visit http://www.helendblackbird.co.uk/Fine_Art.html 

# 2 [23 September 2008]

I booked myself for an Arts Council meeting for this evening, however several challenges presented themselves to me.

The first was that although it was advertised in Lincoln, the meeting is actually 20 miles away, in Sleaford.

As I don't drive, this means relying on the train.

5.30 - 7.30p.m. is a very inconvenient time of the day for a parent.

Any earlier and I could've booked the kids into Kids Club, otherwise they'd be at school.

With all my Uni friends moved away, I now have a shortage of babysitters. The one person I asked let me down.

So I couldn't make it anyway.

It would've been extremely useful for my proposal to gain some knowledge of applying for funding.

This is a disappointing setback, but I decided to add it to my blog so that others can appreciate how many additional challenges I face as a single parent trying to find my way.

# 3 [29 September 2008]

Last week, aside from the disappointing events surrounding the Arts Council meeting, have been focussed on finding part time work to support my practice, hence I went for a job interview.

Upon the realisation that I need new reliable childcare, some of my time will now be distracted trying to find babysitters, so I can attend the shows that my colleagues put on in the evening, some of which deal with issues that are unsuitable for children. Besides, the boys hate attending these "dull grown up things", they get bored, as they did when I attended an exhibition by Alexe Dilworth over a week ago.

(I wondered why I'd been invited, but it became clear with the appearance of Alexe's prints of historical German dolls from the Usher Gallery)

Meanwhile, just to put the work into context: 

"The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth - it is the truth which conceals that there is none. The simulacrum is true.

Ecclesiastes" - Baudrillard,J, Simulacra and Simulations United States of America: University of Michigan Press1994

# 4 [1 November 2008]

Gosh! A whole month has gone by and still I don't seem to be getting any where.... although I seem to have sorted out the babysitting dilemma, and have been successful in other aspects of my life. With half term over the last two weeks, I decided to spend some time doing things with the kids. For the past three years half term has been swept aside for lectures and work.... 

I've been away for a while, just a break from the monotony, but honestly, it's been 5 months and I'm fighting to banish slight feelings of disillusionment. 

Several rejection letters later, and the most creative thing I've done was make a Rubik's cube out of tampons.... I haven't wanted to add to this blog half the things that are going on in my mind at the moment, because quite frankly it's depressing!!

Next week I have an appointment with the lone parent advisor and a trip to a graduate fair in Sheffield, which actually fits in with school hours - hooray! Whoever arranged the timing for that deserves a medal - back in Lincoln to pick the kids up from school at 3pm - genius!

Still the difficulty of finding work that is remotely related to my qualifications, does not require me to work ridiculous hours over weekends or evenings (neither of which I can do due to parental responsibilities), and still allows me time to continue my practice. Is there such a dream job??? Or is it just a figment of my over-active imagination????

I would illustrate all of this in a Take On Me style comic, but I have dolls to make.... 

# 5 [6 November 2008]

OK, so an opportunity has arisen to do something slightly offbeat, but which will distract me further from the doll proposal until December.....

I have been inspired to create a video for Coldplay's Lost competition.

Coldplay are huge fans of A-ha, whose Take On Me video and comic book imagery formed my Degree Show installation The Unreal God And Aspects of His Non-Existent Universe.

Recently, Coldplay performed their cover of A-ha's Hunting High And Low onstage in Oslo with Magne F, and have collaborated with him in a band called Apparatjik.

So when I read about Coldplay's competition for fans to make a video for them, a vision of a Take On Me style rotoscoped video manifested itself in my mind and wouldn't go away!

Realistically I should probably make Coldplay dolls!

But my son wants to be a rock star, and so I filmed him singing along to Lost and plan to rotoscope him in the style of Take On Me.

I have made a storyboard and will be concentrating on this project for a while until the deadline in December.  

# 6 [1 December 2008]

I have finally finished my entry for Coldplay's Lost video competition. It is here: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nqGbbBp68rg

Even though I didn't have enough time to hand sketch each frame, it still took ages to rotoscope some additional video footage. I do not possess Flash, and this was done in Imageready - I used to think it was cheating to do this digitally, but now I have experience, I understand how much work goes into it, it still requires individual frame by frame editing, and for a short piece of film there are a heck of a lot of frames (to do all by myself!)

It's still quite effective in a Take On Me meets A Scanner Darkly effect.

But I do hope to do it justice and make a proper drawn version.

I just hope that Coldplay appreciate the effort. 

So now it's back to doing proper work ;-) 

In the midst of my video editing saga, I went to an employment fair at Uni, which offered some more potential opportunities. however I'm still wary of being made into a consumer. I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO WORK, but will wait until an opportunity arises THAT IS GOOD FOR ME. No, despite Government reforms that want to force lone parents back to work, I have stopped looking for part time admin work, as it's wasting my time, it's depressing me, and there are plenty of people who can do that without a degree. Instead, this week I will be going to speak to a nice lady from some local studios. I know it seems like I'm not doing much, but I've been researching loads of possibilities, gaining the information I need to make an effective proposal before I send it off, deciding which is the best way to go about things, reading potential residencies at the V&A that I would love to apply for - but can't, looking for opportunities locally, but only ones that relate to my shiny new degree or the work that I do. I'm slowly building up a knowledge base that will come in useful when I get going with everything, but I'm afraid I can't rent a gallery space without funding, I can't even work without funding, and so I'm going to business meetings and collating ideas wherever they come.

# 7 [3 December 2008]

I have read through the opportunities in this month's a-n (it didn't take long, they're a bit sparse!), and there's something for Design Factory in there - what a coincidence, it's the same thing I picked up from the Grad fair - lucky I had already filled it all out, and it's also lucky that I wasn't working in a shop or office, because I wouldn't have made it to the Grad Fair, and I would've missed out!! 

I've also applied to help John Newling for his residency, and sent off more illustration work to art directors, because where there are no opportunities for artists, there may be a commission as an illustrator ;-) - all of this is taking time, time that I would not have if I was working in an office, and hopefully, eventually, something good should come of it all!!

# 8 [10 December 2008]

Proposals are starting to gain momentum - I've been discussing ideas with colleagues to start some collaborative projects. Basically, most fine art graduates from Lincoln University have gone "home" since graduation and are having to take up other work to survive in their own towns. A lot of graduates seem to go to Nottingham, as this is apparently where there are opportunities for artists. However, I have children at school here, I don't have that option, and as such, I have started to research ways to build up a Lincoln-based artists' network that will encourage graduates to get involved locally. The problem is that the University is very very new, and as such there isn't an established community already in place, but it is growing, and there are opportunities here.

Since the Employment Fair here a few weeks ago, I've been in discussion with Sparkhouse Studios with regard to my Doll Proposal, but also for other business proposals I have in mind. 

I am starting to gain interest from current 3rd years and others with regard to setting up artist's studios in Lincoln. Currently the main studio space available to rent is The Terrace, in the Cultural Quarter, however, the rent is really high there, and there is a long waiting list. Which means there must be many artists in and around Lincoln who are looking for studio space to rent. My plan was to re-open the student art shop as a graduate/student venture, as opposed to being run by the local art shop, who were operating at a loss. The main complaint from students was that they never stocked materials and equipment that was needed, and we generally had to trudge down the hill into the city to buy stuff from their main shop anyway. So I think there is a very viable possibility for that to be re-established.

Otherwise I'm still researching my doll proposal, but to be honest I need to start making more dolls after Christmas - if these are going to become as ambitious as the proposal, I need to work out an estimate of costs. I know that if I make small scale dolls it will require minimal materials, but where I propose to make large scale pieces, I will require collaboration with upholsterers etc, which is where my collaboration with Design Factory might be useful. These costs are difficult to work out, and it isn't helped by the various distractions I keep getting involved with!

For now, I will be concentrating on the small scale dolls, and am planning to make a mini doll gallery in which to exhibit them. This way I will be able to exhibit my work, own my own gallery (!) and not only that, I'll be able to take my gallery on tour if I wish and hold exhibition openings in random places, who knows!!

# 9 [16 December 2008]

hmmm.... I can't decide how best to design my Mini Doll Gallery, so I'm consulting an architect for advice.... (it's my sister!)

It should be as cutting edge design as The Guggenheim or White Cube galleries.... http://www.prodesigner.co.uk/modelmaking.html

Research is key! 

I wonder how many other artists will be able to say that after graduation they designed, built, owned and curated their own gallery and exhibitions!! 

Is it cheating? Probably! 

# 10 [2 January 2009]

I've been researching ideas to construct a Mini Doll Art Gallery, and I realised that I know nothing of designing and making doll's houses, art galleries, architecture, modelmaking or anything which might remotely be included in designing, building and making a gallery. I knew that with Christmas being very busy that I wouldn't be able to sit down for more than five minutes to make anything without being distracted by over - excited children, and besides, being Christian, I disappeared to church for a Christmas Carol Concert, where the orchestra played Mozart's Toy Concerto - this amused me, and is typical of the kind of serendipitous occurrences that happen to me :-)

I was advised to speak to someone from the University about my doll proposal, but this has been rearranged for next week now, and I've been considering dolls whilst out Christmas shopping, deciding to utilise toy packaging as an architectural feature for my gallery - those boxes with acetate fronts should form features in my proposed gallery, and as such, I decided to wait to find out what toy packaging would be left over from Christmas before playing around with models. Strangely, the boys didn't get many of those kinds of boxes, but someone bought me one of those macabre looking jewellery holders - those headless doll bodies with metal trees coming out of the neck. The box from that is perfect! 

The jewellery holder itself is this bizarre thing that I am contemplating with deep suspicion at the moment.

I find its motives unnerving, its existence sans tete most disturbing, some kind of H.R. Giger vision of horrific womanhood that I find uncomfortable.

I've been looking at the architecture of various art galleries, including the architecture of Lincoln's very own Collection, which was opened in 2006 and was designed like a white cube space but with the historic Lincolnshire stone of its surroundings. I've looked at designer doll's houses, revisited Archigram and Superstudio, who I've looked at before, and imagined a Doll Gallery enlarged to the full scale of a lifesize gallery. I went to Toys R Us and imagined it as a toy product. So will it be a maquette for a real gallery, or a toy? Hopefully both and more!

I've also applied for a residency at The Collection. I'm hoping I'm successful, because it will benefit the whole Doll Proposal and enable me to realise some larger scale works hopefully. After a few more business meetings next week, and once the kids go back to school, I hope to start work on the doll gallery proper. I might make a freaked out head to go with the freaked out jewellery holder!

All my thoughts about architecture caused me to notice that in the film E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, Elliot's room actually occupies an impossible space in that house. It would take too long to explain here, but believe me, the architecture of Elliot's house in E.T. is impossible!