ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [16 September 2008]

The accent is from further north than Birmingham and comes from the potteries. My fathers accent, I dont really notice if people have yorkshire, jordie, scouse or scotish but a potteries or 'Staffy-cher' accent instantly brings back memories of childhood visits to my Grandmothers house and  seeing my cousins. We visited once a year at Easter, for about a week.

I was brought up in saaaf east London and I only moved away from London in 2001.

Anyway I have to make a mosaic like one I made about 12 years ago. A little odd, as I dont have to find a design solution for this project. Cos it is a fish pond! And it is the one I made all that time ago. Of course I will have to re-design and modify it, which will mean drawing with pencils....eh.....that will feel some what strange, as I have spent all summer drawing with a 9" angle grinder.

I spent a day in a local school designing fish with two Primary school classes to incorperate into this project. The picture I have decided to upload today is the cover of a folded paper with an apology note.

Inside says;

 ITo/ mrRoB

I am scoowey

Iand very Scoowey

From a boy who had a tantrum in the class room and had to be carried out and calmed down. I expect I will get to know him better as things unfold.

# 2 [23 September 2008]

So what I was going to do was string 3 jobs into one blog and compare them as I went along as they had a common core. But I am not going to do that now, as one of them has been delayed fairly long term it seems.

So I am blogging one by one kind of serial blogging?

This Middleport job is the one with the fish pond I did 12 years ago.....its hard to start this.. as I came back yesterday from my public loos job really needing to research Victorian architecture/detailing/brickwork patterns or just patterns. William Morris is someone over the years I have flicked over looking at nice and very clever patterns, Kelmscott Press calligraphy loads of stuff I like him. I have been influenced by his leaf patterns before particularly in a previous mosaic in Wantage.

Now yesterday I hear trade union leaders on the radio saying 'if its good enough for the banks, its good enough for our Utilities' this is government ownership  of failed private banking houses Northern Rock etc ....water, gas, electricity power generation in government hands then.

Like the old socialist days....William Morris I suddenly find out was very influential in the British Political scene and the Socialist Movement! I  never new that, and all want to do is just read about him look at his stuff and learn more about him.

But I have to go back to the fish pond I already did, years back.

 Still.... talking rubbish on here will get niether done. I signed a contract and time schedules drawn up by me should be kept to, so patterns on the surface of the water is what makes the fish pond. The fish ...well I got some strange and beautiful ones from the school workshop, but not real which is the rub of this project.

# 3 [25 September 2008]

Here is the strange thing about this job.

 I have family living in the region, not close family but cousins and their children, as well as a few Aunts. I only see them at weddings and funerals. But I feel like I have to do something, skillful and artistic, something that does not give art a bad name in the eyes of the general public.

Normally anywhere else in the country I feel relaxed enough to inflict what I want on the public. Though it is not my style to challenge people too far as this is sometimes irresponsible and can cause embarrassment.

I have this feeling of deference for the area, just because as a boy my father lived a few miles away and probably knows the area. An opportunity for me to leave behind something that was the best that I could do.

So I have revisted the fish pond as required by my brief and re done it. I will also design a version closer the pupils drawings as well for someone to choose between.

# 4 [26 September 2008]

Who in Middleport gives a shite about my sentimentality and whether my grandmother lived on top of that hill somewhere?

The pupils I will be working with arn't into perspective, foreshortening, projecting the angle of the shadows with a set square. They are not concernd if the knotwork boarder has two, three or even four strands. They are not concerned about trying to make a fish look under a ripple of water because when they are drawing them they are in the water with them. Looking at the patterns on their backs, chasing other fish, and the sea has become some kind of exstenion to the playground.

Thats what drawing fish is all about.

# 5 [13 October 2008]

 I will have to work on this project tommorrow. The paymasters have presented my drawings to the school and stuff. The ball is back in my court.

 It's just gone a little wierd the worlds gone mad. I been busy not doing much, waiting really and a wall of stuff has just come my way. Latent dorment work I thought had melted into nothing. I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a car. I can not move, Im parralised, I just said yes to so much stuff because will there be any contracts in the medium term future? I may be unemployed later. May be I am unemployed now and I dont know it yet, no ones paying my invoices!

The banks are going to be re capitalised with  part public ownership! I'm not sure I understand that one. Are the government going to force me to buy shares in these banks?  

Exciting times ahead. America Europe Asia, things might be shuffling around there. I'm drawing fish tommorrow and also wondering how to involve schools in the construction public toilets on the Isle of Wight.

# 6 [14 October 2008]

The hybrid was inevitable and here it is.

tomorrow ......administrative essential planning preparation figures numbers times projections anticipations and dates.

How does the brain deal with unknowns like this list, I am immersed in, treading water in, living amongst unknowns on every side at the moment.

fluid  eh.... dude

route1: cut a path keep a vision in your minds eye and do everything you can to stick to the target, no matter how hard that is!

route2: guess, see what you bump into and adjust.

route3; a combo of these two. Timing intuition energy persuasion instinct change of mind.

Is it about arriving at the destination or is it about the journey?

Some people are employing me for the destination and some are employing me for the journey.

so thats that sorted out then

# 7 [15 October 2008]

Yes the hybrid hit the target hard it seems, which is good.

I did not get the job I had an interview for the other day. Looking back now I can see clearly with hindsight which is often 20-20. I just did not step up the level required. Could not cross the threshold to what the job was really about.

I did not get out of the foothills.

I have never learnt so much or seen so clear from a failed interview.

My IOW loos project suddenly becomes the project where my aspirations lie. It is the most challenging by far. May be I should blog it seperatly and keep this one about this mosaic.

So tomorrow this one starts with the preparation of the cartoon. In this case it will be a sacrificial cartoon as it will be destroyed in the process of making this work. The original fish pond 12 years ago was the mosaic which probably helped my career significantly, and I thought I would never make one like it again, even though I have been asked to on a number of occasions. But this mosaic has already changed, and will signify a transition in my career, just as the original one did.

# 8 [16 October 2008]

Feeling the preasure of my commitments today.

 I started drawing the cartoon, trying to get a move on, but realised I needed a system to make the boarder with and what I had sketched in was needing a little modifacation.

So I had to get the nippers out and cut the tiles to see how it might work. Then I had this memory of already doing this once before. I looked at some old photos to see if my re-invention was the same as last time. All this slowed me right down and  I resented it, big time. But it will pay large dividends in terms of time later, so worth investing time on.

Yep its about centres and you don't need to draw out all that twisted rope.

Witney tomorrow long drive and I was unable to finish this cartoon today. Oxford on Monday and the IOW on friday I think.

# 9 [21 October 2008]

I made some glue today (which was a little too stiff, I will need to knock it down a little) and I tried to buy a chieftans album. 

I saw a documentory about them yesterday. And what I thought was interesting about them was the influence a new band member made, when an old one left. This constant renewal process seemed to work very well. Then it kind of developed into a series of new albums with new guest musicians which is must be great to do.

Why cant we work like that? us artsits, why do I feel so isolated? Do you feel isolated in your work? It is a lonely life in the workshop day in day out, which is my fate for a while.

Its a bit like being sent to solitary in the cooler: I may not come out quite sane. So appologies in advance if I start spouting nonsence.

oh yeh it was the Breton french influenced album called 'celtic wedding' was the one I tried to get.

# 10 [27 October 2008]

I have really got stuck into this mosaic in the last few days. An inner swelling of nervousness about it has consumed me. I felt it was below my real abilities and felt the colour relationships were not quite going to work.

I have had to keep working on it untill I rescue it, pull it back from a path leading to a dull, unresolved, naff, poor piece of work. Just the same feelings as when you start a painting really. Actually I think I get them at the start of every mosaic I make. So relax you'll manage it.

I can not work on it tomorrow which is very frustrating. But I have turned the corner with it, and should be able to resolve the colour weight problems.

Tomorrow: another long drive to a meeting.

Hopefully I will feel more positive soon, and after all as an artist with work what have I got to moan about. I should be jumping for joy and enjoying my work?