ARTISTS TALKING

# 90 [6 August 2009]

Getting paid/Linzblog:

Who would have thought I'd be so happy about getting Spar vouchers! 100 Euros worth of them infact. That can either feed me for the rest of my time here, or I shall gorge myself on champagne, chocolate and lots of fresh fish. I haven't decided yet. Travel money (not a lot as I came with Ryanair) has been transferred into my bank account too - so should be there in a few days. This will help lots.

Actual money payment stuff still not confirmed although it should be within 10 days...

# 89 [6 August 2009]

Linzblog:

I have been reading through a few blogs this morning and specifically those by other people currently on residencies.. It made me laugh how much I recognise my own experiences mirrored in these: struggling with time both going slowly and then having disappeared, feeling that progress is slow ( I have been given this time/space I so desperately wanted, why haven't I filled the room with work?) and also having so many ideas that it can be difficult to decide which direction to take.

Talking last night to the other residents - we have been here a month now! - we all agreed that we were suprised how long it has taken to really get a feel for Linz, although I think this might be due in part to the capital of culture colouring everything. I also think it has something to do with the fact that we found ourselves here with a week or two notice with no knowledge of what was coming. Applying to something with a proposal gives you a starting point I suppose, and just going somewhere leaves you with a bit of a struggle. Mine is between work I had been wanting to do for ages in Liverpool and wanting to respond to Linz itself. The Liverpool work seems less relevant while I am here and perhaps that it can wait (although it has waited a long time already!). I can't help but have new thoughts, new ideas, all from Linz and seeming more urgent while I am here.

There is only 6 weeks left, so I shall have to make some decisions soon and leave this limbo land. The exhibition also looms in my head, as once again, I'm not sure how I can show anything but work in progress? Although I am pretty good at forgetting that it takes me a long time to build up to something and then I make quite frantically for days/weeks before stopping again. Like a zen monk contemplating one brushstroke for an hour, only far less sophisticated and with more angst.

This worry over what to do however, make me glad that this has been such a rich experience.. I know that I am gathering things that will stay in my work for a long time. Whether I get them done while I am here or not is another question!

Had some unexpected success from this strange and awkward exhibtion downstairs: an artist from France ordering a copy of all of my books (with promises to be in touch about other things too..?) and a multiples shop in Germany asking to stock my books. A much needed boost to my confidence and a sign that my editions need to be a little bit bigger in future - 14 doesn't go very far!!

# 88 [4 August 2009]

Must stop posting more than once a day and get a life.....in the meantime:

First - HSBC have a £30,000 student bursaries competition going: http://bit.ly/18wOeU

Second - just a quickie - a link from The New Gallery on twitter:

http://www.rabble.ca/books/reviews/more-business-u...

review of a book from 2008, which caught my eye as it is questioning the role of artist-led spaces (you may or may not remember I was wittering on about that a few days ago...).

Anyway, decentre: concerning artist-run culture by Elaine Chang, Andrea Lalonde, Chris Lloyd, Steve Loft, Jonathan Middleton, Daniel Roy, Haema Sivanesan, eds is published by YYZ Books (this website is also interesting and one I have catalogued - look:
www.yyzartistsoutlet.org/) in Canada. rabble.ca say about the book (sorry to be a lazy quoter):

The editors of decentre make a concerted effort to explore artist-run centres (ARCs) in their current form, inviting artists and organizers to reflect on where "the real strength of artist-run culture" lies and whether the concept of ARCs has in fact "outlived its usefulness."

The books profiles 103 spaces and the review seems to think it's a pretty good, interesting and timely overview, although certainly not without its faults.. my curiosity was also piqued by the mention of the preface by Hans Abbing that examines the denial of economics in art.. (he also wrote Why Are Artists Poor?)

http://www.hansabbing.nl/

I might just have to order a copy and let you know properly - at least if I have something to read I won't be on here every 5 minutes!!

# 87 [4 August 2009]

I didn't mean to post anything else again today, but I was just checking the deadline for something and came across a residency at the Bridge School; a special needs school in Islington. This is a residency with studio, materials budget that involves teaching a 50% timetable. Payment is in the region of 12 - 13k as a 50% unqualified teacher's salary would be..

But they are not looking to employ an unqualified teacher are they? They want a professional artist. How does that work then? They also state a desire for experience working with special needs - so although on an unqualified rate (lots of artists will never be qualified as a teacher!) they are looking for an art qualification and are asking for experience. So anyway, unqualified teacher/artist: it's not the same thing and seems to be quite dangerous to presume that it is. It seems to also be presumed that the artist will be grateful at having an income and studio space guaranteed for a year and that they won't expect to be paid more. Maybe lots of artists would be grateful? Does this kind of experience imply that the time they are giving you (by paying the same amount as a shop job), is part of the payment? I realise that schools have little spare cash and that this will probably be a great experience for someone.. but perhaps they need to have the resident for half the time and pay the same amount?

Anyway, it's a lot better paid than most school-based residencies, but it still seems badly paid (even if you count the cost of a London studio at £200/month that only adds £2400 onto the value..). I would also be terrified at the 50% timetable requirement.. hopefully they give training for working with special needs children too. Having taught English in Japan for a couple of years (very different, yes I do realise..) and art workshops I have a very good idea of how long planning takes when you are inexperienced and are desperate to do a good job. I feel sure that for the first few months this 50% would end up being a full time job.

# 86 [4 August 2009]

Firstly, thanks to everyone who replied. Like I said below I didn't think about the personal nature of replies being incompatible with comments. Heard from some mums, dads, and some also worrieds. The majority says yes, you can have it all, but perhaps with a year off and some guilt. I also realised that lots of artists whose work I am pretty familiar with, are parents and I would never have known. I also had some good chat going on on facebook about the entry and among the emails, the following response about planning (from a previous post) and babies, from my mum is probably my favourite (she is pretty awesome and usually speaks sense).

Hi

been reading your blog ...

1: you need an appraisal - Your boss wants to know what you've been up to and what your plans are, so - write on one side of A4 what you have achieved in the past year and on the other side what you plan to do in the next year.
When my appraisal's due I look at what I'd said I'd do last year and see whether  I have achieved it, then write down what I want to do in the next year.
I also have vague 10 year plan - 1 small piece of paper and a quick scrawl of what needs doing and what I'd like to do.
I do have a budget of 300k to spend and have to say what I want to spend it on - you'll have to work in paper and pencils or somesuch instead but the principle is the same whether it's tuppence or a million.

as for babies - yes you can do it - they can go to nursery at 2.5 and they'll be great at helping you make things up until then (as long as you don't mind sick etc. on the works of art!!) and they bring a whole new dimension to your life.
 
Les

Ok Grandma.

Appraisal first then...

Linzblog: much building and collapsing (see images of me building places to hide). It is raining, which is a relief as I feel no need to leave my studio. Attic idea for the next exhibition completely refused. I am spending too much time on the computer and it's making me really tense! - But(!) one more application to get through today and then I'm done...

# 85 [3 August 2009]

Maternity/paidblog:

So, this post is quite a personal topic, but something I have been pondering or worrying over for a while, without conclusion or useful thoughts. Perhaps the good blog readers will be able to offer some advice/ own experiences?

On having children; my husband is desperate for babies and I’m not adverse to the idea, in fact as soon as YSbloodyP is done next summer it’s babies are go as far as I’m concerned (presuming we are both able etc..). One major problem, as a self-employed artist, is what the hell am I going to do about money?? Full child benefit currently stands at £80/month.

My husband earns an okay wage as a games programmer. However, he went back to Uni and graduated again in 2006, so then he had a job, but plenty of debts too. When we moved in together, he had just started work and I am a self-employed artist, therefore neither of us could pass a landlord’s credit check and had to get a loan to pay rent in advance. This meant paying back more and over a longer period, so that took its toll. Needless to say Dan has to bail me out occasionally (see non-payment in Linz for most recent example). Anyway, that is all back history to illustrate the point that we live in our overdrafts and struggle when unexpected car bills and the like crop up. To be solvent it will take a few years, but we don’t want to wait. Friends and family have joked that I need a job in the council or somewhere for 6 months, then I’d have maternity pay. Trouble is, that does seem like the only real option; getting employed.

Reminded of a familiar worry by this month’s curated selection on Axis, there is also the worry about how I will manage everything. The selector Katy Deepwell says

"While many artists in art school are still fed the myth that somehow motherhood and art are incompatible, the extended education of many women (artists included) has pushed motherhood later and later in their lives”.

But is it a myth? Can I still work? More likely perhaps - will I be so smitten that I won't want to? Lena Simic from The Institute for the Art and Practice of Dissent at Home in Liverpool manages to mix her children, life and art pretty seamlessly, but I’m not sure this way is for me; my husband is not an artist for a start and he likes his privacy! I don't know anyone else that I can use as an example; all my (women) friends with babies gave up their art long ago or never did it, and friends who are artists do not have babies.

Mainly I am scared about having worked so hard and losing all that. Would I end up losing my practice (as opposed to finding it)? It seems that whichever way you do it; you can’t really have it all. Can you? (someone say yes please..)

# 84 [3 August 2009]

Randomblog:

I always like seeing the curated selections on Axis (well done Rachel!), especially thinking about the links that other people make between artists and their work. Same goes for the MA stars and artists of the month selections - it makes me look at people's work that I wouldn't otherwise find. However, recently the artist of the month has confused me - it always seems to be people who join just because they have been selected.. seems to miss the point a bit..shouldn't selectors be choosing people who are already in the database rather than inviting people? Maybe it doesn't matter, who knows? MA Stars is different, they are artists who probably haven't joined yet anyway... but, anyway; a random thought for a random Monday morning.

Also - have been really liking Emilia Telese's tweets of late - this morning:

it's staggering to see how many artists make themselves fit into the mold of the selfish, tortured soul, advocating their own uselessness

earlier:

Artists change the world and are valuable to people's lives

Yes! quite. I suspect she is about as good a model of professionalism as you will find in these here art-woods. Interesting podcast with her here:

http://www.digitalmediacentre.org/podcast.html

Linzblog:

Looking afresh at the exhibition space with the other artists and seeing it as a challenge - how to show the many possibilities of exhibiting within the same space - how not to use awful plastic screens! Less complaining about how bad it is and more conviction to make the best of it! I felt excited and am bouncing round my studio a bit today.

# 83 [1 August 2009]

Linzblog: I've seen two amazing things this weekend and feel very lucky to be here.. Soap & Skin at the Cathedral on Sat night; a 19 year old Austrian girl who was just incredible and who I now have a huge crush on. Tonight, Willi Dorner's Above, Under, Inbetween. Not only does this sound like a title I would give my work, it also involves using furniture and found things in a really clever playful way, so I was very keen to see it. Beautiful stuff that built up to a frantic end with furniture and the dancer's bodies being used like the mouse trap game contraption and dominoes. I feel energised. I have also been exploring the building while staff are off and someone left the lift unlocked!! Uh oh.. this meant I could go into the attic - beautiful space, which we really need to use for the next exhibition.. now just to convince Holger.. hm.

Paidblog: A conversation in the pub last night highlighted for me something I never do much of -planning! One of the artists here, a photographer, often works with his girlfriend on jobs. He was saying how they have to be really honest about what they are doing/plan to do and also how they are going to achieve X,Y and Z (making money, getting better and building a rep I guess). I thought, hmm wait a minute.. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with myself about where I want to be and what I want to be doing in (number) months/years time. I tried to make a career plan quite recently, but wasn't taking it - or myself - very seriously.

My head is full of these ideas and plans, but they are all shrouded in a (nice) grey mist and I can't quite get a handle on any of it. Hence the panic when I arrived here I suppose. There is also the issue of being honest with yourself about what you are achieving..I always have a feeling with future things that they are mostly out of my control and the directions I take end up being decided by other people according to the opportunities I am offered. I'd like to change that a bit and I have already noticed that being booked for YSP from Sep - July has meant I have said no to things. Felt awful and like I was missing out at the time, but on reflection, they weren't exactly right for my work and it was very good not to overload myself. I suppose I must have known they weren't right otherwise I probably would have found a way to do them.

I also divulged all my insecurities to him, along with all feelings of intimidation I often experience and all cracks present in my being basically. It was good; he admitted to some similar feelings (not so many), but after that I felt less bothered: there's not much left to hide!

# 82 [30 July 2009]

Apologies if this becomes part Linzblog, part paidblog for a while - it all seems to seep through somehow!

On my quest to find independent artists groups: I found one! Just by accident and some word of mouth asking.. There is a big group of artists who live in an old industrial building by the docks areas. It's really interesting round that area, very much like Liverpool's old industrial bits, and although I haven't been inside the house I plan to make a visit soon.

Comparing Liverpool & Linz, it occurred to me how much grass roots level organisations in the UK try hard to professionalise themselves and in some ways, imitate the larger institutions. Not everyone, but certainly a good amount. This trend of becoming so comercially adept (largely I think, a vital strategy to secure ever more elusive funding) seems to have spread and the number of sleek indie spaces across the UK has grown (and become easier to find due to the awesome power of the internet). This is good, especially if it creates strong networks/communities in local art scenes, as well as providing easier and more visible links to other places. However, how much of this is a fairly hollow process? How many artists and groups are just going through the motions to create something that looks good on the outside, but actually is just based on other people's projects? Doing what they think they SHOULD be doing, not something they have really thought through.

In Linz it feels like the pendulum swings a bit too far in the other direction - artists getting on in secret and not engaging with the larger art scene as much. It seems that the kind of activity I am used to seeing from young or less established artists, like exhibitions in empty spaces, or groups setting up, is more the preserve of students here. This goes some way to explaining why it is quiet in the summer.

After getting away from the organising, I have been having conversations with a couple of artists via e-mail. At the moment this feels like all I can manage in terms of networking and collaborative efforts. However, there are some good and deep connections developing here, so I hope it does become something more substantial in the future; when it's ready!

# 81 [29 July 2009]

Well, things are better now that we have dates! They (official types) are meeting on the 13th August to sort money out and transfers will be made the next day.. so we should have money by the 18th at the latest.. They are sorting out money for the next residents then too, so they will actually get paid before they come, but I will have been here for 5 weeks by then.

So, anyway, I feel like there has been much negativity from me of late. Apologies, and today - a good and happy post, about Capital of Culture spending would you believe!
This place, Bellevue, Das Gelbe Haus (The Yellow House), is fantastic! It is about 7-8kms out of Linz, next to all the tower block flats, overlooking the motorway. It opened on the 25th June and closes on 13th September and everything here is free.

Monday = Artist in residency (there are about ten!) presentation or talk - sadly I miss these because my German is hopeless.
Tuesday = film screenings with an introductory talk
Wednesday = Music evening
Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday = workshops, sports, walks, writing, dancing, live music and artists in residence again
Sunday there is also free breakfast from 11.

I have been a few times now and it is always full, people use it, hang out with friends there and most definately take part. I went to a sewing workshop last week and made an apron as well as meeting two seventeen year old Somalian refugees who live opposite and go most days to volunteer or just drinks ridiculous amounts of coffee. They also play for the football team, which they are ectastic about - knock out tournaments with other ad-hoc teams every weekend, but they get to wear a special yellow shirt. How nice is that?

So, a truly useful and inspiring project. I'm not sure this would work quite as well in England, would it?.. certainly can't imagine the same set-up working in Liverpool. What I mean by that is that I can see it being used to drink in and graffiti on. Perhaps I'm wrong? I hope so. It might be good in a smaller city perhaps..

But yes, it seems like money well spent.