ARTISTS TALKING

# 40 [7 May 2009]

Really enjoyed reading this:

By: Emilia Telese

Emilia Telese’s opening essay offers analysis of the markets for art in the UK highlighting the ‘contradictions and idiosyncrasies’ of the relationship between artists and money.

http://www.a-n.co.uk/nan/article/377807/377156

# 39 [7 May 2009]

What a thin and brittle thing this balance between practice and living is. I feel like last night made a big crack that will take some time to be repaired. I'm not talking about a plastering over, I mean properly filled in and sanded over and everything.

Sorry to carry on in building metaphors, but I feel like instead of painting and adding decorative touches round the sides, I really need to go back to the structure and make it more solid.

I'm leaving the house now, (physically and metaphorically!).

# 38 [7 May 2009]

So very tired this morning. Workshop in a youth centre in Everton for Tate last night. A very challenging workshop in Everton last night.. a few glimpses of making progress, but mostly it fell flat.. partly down to me overestimating their confidence and rushing in to the task in hand, but also because there was no one there who knew the kids: the youth workers were just needed elsewhere. You can't just pop into these places and create masterpieces, relationships take so much time and insight (and training!!!).

I always spend hours getting these things ready and it's disheartening when it doesn't go to plan. If I plan sculpture I will need paint. Hoping to get blokes more involved last night with wire and pliars, I could've actually done with loads of jewellery making things as it was full of girls. Working at the Tate sidesteps these problems as there is a treasure trove of stuff round the corner, but going out somewhere, I will always have a slight fail. They are coming down to the Tate on Saturday so I hope that changes the dynamic somewhat. 

This is how a lot of artists I know help fund themselves (not that being paid for one job should fund another - that still doesn't constitute getting paid) and it's an important role. Schools/youth clubs really need more connection with the arts, especially with professional artists who have their own practice and that can bring the conceptual and problem solving skills, not to mention confidence building. It's another way of showing what's possible, and to help find routes to prosperity. The youth club I was at last night has seen two teenagers fatally stabbed in the last six months; one was there for the first time and was only 15.  It's just so sad, and seems quite helpless when you're stood brandishing a pencil and a bit of garden wire at a bunch of people who are pelting each other with anything to hand.

I was quite surprised at how much of a dent in my own confidence it made too - I came back and had a moan at my husband about the fact that I had a total fail. He was, as always, a real pragmatist and very supportive and encouraging. In my head I was going through my usual fraud complex and then started thinking that my own work wasn't any good etc etc. I did manage to give myself a good talking to, write an action list and I went to bed with no brain left. 

In terms of money, it is well paid work (although there is almost always extra time put in), but there is a reason for that: it's bloody hard work! Perhaps a job in a coffee shop is a better option if you want any brain space left?

There is another session tonight at another youth centre down the road however, so I'd better suck it up and have a good think.......

# 37 [5 May 2009]

I am not always this serious by the way. 

# 36 [5 May 2009]

Ayn Rand and things. 

I have had an email from a student at a local (ish) university asking me about my blog over the weekend.  They were quite concerned that I was giving away a lot of my knowledge/strategies away for free. Wasn't I worried that other people would use my thoughts to further their own careers?

There is so much advice and career development out there, I hardly feel like my blog is going to be the thing that shows people the way to a glittering career. I also believe that people can read all they liked, but it will only make a difference if they act upon it. 

In the Simpsons last night (it was a bank holiday people!) Maggie went to the Ayn Rand Nursery, laden with slogans such as 'Helping is futile!'. Two of my favourite books, Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand purport her philosophy, which is a particularly selfish brand of capitalism. Although the stories are gripping in both books, the characters are bizarre (especially the female protagonists, presumably her) and they have dubious moral values to say the least. It has beens shown that Ayn Rand's philosohpy, Objectivism, as well as her institute all receive more attention and followers during a recession. Often celebrities are fans, with Angelina Jolie starring in the remake of Atlas Shrugged soon I believe. The rich want to stay rich, but more importantly, believe that they are entitled to be and to be jealous of all they have. 

I always think artists can be a little bit like this in their behaviour. Okay, so it's a harsh comparison, but you know what I mean; looking after number one. Something I do keep wittering on about is the fact that artists do not help each other enough, (I don't mean painting pictures for people, or calling galleries on their behalf, just a little generosity with time or advice). A lot of this industry is extremely personal and artists need to find their own way of doing things and learn from experience. But telling someone not to bother hiring a gallery, or offering advice about a residency that would be perfect for their work takes no effort and doesn't hurt you. Helping is not futile: it strengthens networks and you may find that links you make come back to reward you. 

Take care of yourself, and each other - right? 

# 35 [5 May 2009]

I thought I would feel terrible: I have just sent an email to my studio group telling them I am leaving to go to the Royal Standard (another space in Liverpool), however, I am mainly relieved. I will have a space, with a contract, wireless, working woodwork tools, other people working in it (actually, the newest members to Wolstenholme have been incredibly hard working - it is the old-school contingent I am referring to). It is good and I am very content.  Did I mention the parking spaces?

I am sad and I will miss that place and a lot of the people, but it had become pretty toxic for my practice and I was turning into an arts administrator.

Moving in on Monday, so until then I shall be mentally arranging my new space.

It is more expensive, but then (I think) also better value.  I do want to get paid, but I am also aware that it is not always about the money and that this is an investment for the long term. 

# 34 [4 May 2009]

In addition to adding admin days into my life, I have been thinking that a plan might be a good idea. This was also something that came out of the AIR event: Susan Jones said that in her mentoring she sometimes asks artists to make a plan of what they want to do and where they want to be in the future. The rule (and difficult part) is then not to do things that are not on the plan. This should prevent finding yourself saying yes to all manner of things.

Hmm, so, the only thing I did plan for myself last year was not to show in Liverpool for a while. Then I found myself putting in a proposal for the new Arena space and this month putting some work into DRAWN IN at the Lost Soul and Stranger Service Station. Whoops. I am very happy about DRAWN IN though, as it came up just when I am starting new drawings and seems serendipitous to say the least. 

It is one thing to have a shifting, woolly idea of what might be good in your head, and something else entirely to actually write/draw a plan, akin to a business model I suppose, that you can refer back to and that will prove how far off track you have gone! 

David Parrish pops into my head here too, reminding me to say NO!! NO, thank you very much, but I can't. No I'm afraid not, no really, it's not possible. Oh, didn't you hear me? I said NO. Also that I am my product, and to forget the archaic notion that it is acceptable to work for free when doing something because you love it. Why can't you can love it and still get paid? 

So, I'm excited today - it is onwards to clear the dining table, get a big sheet of paper and perhaps some felt tips/stickers to make the plan a little more joyous...

# 33 [1 May 2009]

Today is the first of my self-timetabled admin days. I cannot believe I haven't made time for this before. I did plan some in last month, but I ignored them and carried on in my usual path of misaligned priorities and bizarre feeling of duty to useless things and unhelpful people. I have always known I should do it, but something has snapped to make me actually act. I have also recognised how useful blogging has been and that, accordingly, it should be timetabled in. Just an hour a week or so, but same goes for updating profiles, emailing and the other things that make me feel guilt. 

Bec Garland mentioned making time for your practice a few times at the AIR  event on Monday night. I don't do it enough. I have hardly been to the studio in the last few weeks, except to sign cheques, meet people and show people round. I have been working from home, probably on an entirely unsuitable scale. I am beginning to resent this very much and recognise the need for a shift in my working habits. It may not be as simple as saying, monday for this, tuesday for that, as unexpected things do occur, but any kind of structure would improve things. This also points towards problems with my studio, and the fact that I have taken on too much responsibility for the place. I adore the building, but it seems it does not love me back.

So, admin down, studio to go. 

# 32 [28 April 2009]

This also came up last night: Empty shops as art venues..

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2009/apr/23...

# 31 [28 April 2009]

It was the AIR Open Dialogue event last night at Castlefield Gallery. Very nice to finally meet Susan Jones after much emailing, and also great to discuss the very basics of practice with loads of new faces. 

I thought about blogging last night when I got in, but partly I was tired and I also wanted to digest it a bit. The things that stayed with me are unexpected. I found myself sharing things that I hadn't expected to, some parts of my life/work that I probably have never vocalised before. One of these was finishing off my spiel by saying that I wanted to get my head down and work, and that I wanted rid of the organising. This was backed up at dinner afterwards when Susan was talking about the fact that people seem to have forgotten that good work and careers take time. There is an expectation of talent and genius to negate the need for long hard graft, whereas musicians and others (quoted, I believe from the article below or similar) need about 10,000 hours practice on average to become a professional. 

 http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article4969415.ece

I know that I have my first ever solo show, infact two of them, coming up in 2010, and obviously I want them to be great. This means starting now, no more agreeing to shows and flinging out the work. I want and need something different for my work to see a change and development. 10,000 hours is after all, well over a year, and that's without sleeping or doing anything else. Perhaps five years of full time work represents that statistic a little more meaningfully.  

Giving some feedback about this blog to Andrew Bryant this morning also made me consider what a fantastic tool it has been in sharpening everything. Being determined to practice what I preach, I have suddenly become much better at valuing my work and time more highly, saying no and generally looking after my long-term self a bit more. In turn, I hope this is also looking after the industry by not getting involved in projects that rely on artists working for free or without in-kind support/trade. I hope I can keep it up...

I also realised I am still fairly terrible at negotiating and that must be the next area for improvement, especially when YSP starts....