ARTISTS TALKING

# 186 [25 April 2010]

Very sad news on Friday that my Auntie has died, not sure what happened yet, but it's been a shock and clearing up/sorting a bit at her house today was strange - nice to be there and near her, but sank in that I wouldn't ever see her again. My sister also just rang to say that she named us two as executors of her will - that means a LOT of sorting out to do. Bank, house, car, funeral etc etc and so on. All in a week with unmade work and a private view on Friday at A Foundation. Not that the opening seems that important at the moment really, it just always comes at once doesn't it?

TAXED Skillmarket was on Saturday and was both fantastic and disappointing. But, I had a great time and met some new faces and saw some great exchanges going on. As an experiment, it was a success I think - certainly it's provided much to think about and I will enjoy writing up an evaluation. We (taxed and the helpers we employed to help - with financial support from a-n) have arranged to meet up soon over wine to have a chat about it all. Angie, Katy and Aman were all incredibly astute and enthusiastic and it's shame more people didn't come - they could have handled more chaos I think! The disappointment was because so few people that were involved in the first research stage actually attended. Hardly anyone from Liverpool came. There's probably a number of reasons for that, but it will need some thinking about.. Mike Carney's (Director of A Foundation in Liverpool) gave four of us a tap-dancing lesson as his skill giving, which was just hilarious and I really appreciated him getting involved. The pictures mainly prove that we weren't very good (But show potential!) so I have added one here for your amusement.

I must also thanks Susan Jones for attending and passing on some words of wisdom to attendees... one thing about not being full was that most people managed to get a session on negotiating with her, worth coming for alone I would say.

Anyway, I should try and get some work made.... I will go in the studio and push things around at least!

# 185 [22 April 2010]

It's been a while, mainly because life seems to be going at a crazy pace.

We have had lots of visitors here at A Curriculum (next week is our last week!), including Elena Bajo, Axel Lapp, Jaime Gili and Juan Cruz.

All visits were great in their own way, although i felt that Elena and Jaime, as artists, were easier to connect with and to be open with. Juan yesterday opened up lots of things that I had just been picking at tentatively... like making old scabs bleed again. Now I have some things to think about and am a little confused and uncertain. This stage in the process was always going to happen though and it's never easy.

I have finally, after 3-4 weeks experimenting, managed to cast washing powder in the perfect consistentcy. It is hard, takes detail and smashes beautifully. I am itchy all the time though and if I make a costume to perform in from it, I shall probably make myself extremely blotchy. It has to be biological powder to make the reaction you see... non-biological doesn't cure. It is somewhere between marble, cocaine and polystyrene in appearance and I love it, the ambiguity of it and the fact that it is incredibly vulnerable. Because of all these qualities, I don't know if it should become a costume/sculpture or just be itself. But I have a week to decide, that's it, so I will. Today though, I am doing some cataloguing and writing an essay for an exhibition catalogue. I need some fresh eyes and although time is incredibly short on this residency, I know it's more productive for me to do this today.

It's taken me back to MA days in some respects, having all this discussion going on. It sways me in all sorts of directions, because I find all avenues interesting. Then the decisions become harder, but hopefully better.

Next wednesday we have a whole day of a fundraising workshop with Mark Waugh (Executive Director) and Anthony Bennett (Development Director). I shall try and pass on some wisdom from that!

Saturday sees TAXED No 10. Skillmarket come to life! I'm excited and have me eye on learning some tap dancing, but I will see what's left when we've matched people up! I just wish there had been a better response from artists in Liverpool, lots of enthusiasm in the research stage, but a lot of sign-ups are from out-of-town. It's hard not to take that a bit personally, but people just have lives, that's all. Susan Jones from a-n is coming along and has very kindly agreed to run small groups sessions on negotiating/good practice throughout the afternoon. I shall be getting in on one of those hopefully...

Sunday = sleep and washing powder decisions.

# 184 [18 April 2010]

There is a great event I am missing next week (absolutely no time and not much money either), organised by Sophie Hope:

Art & Labour Summit: Cultural Workers, Artists, Students, and Interns Meet to Organise, Name Names, and Coordinate Demands 
Thursday April 22nd, 6pm-9pm
Cell Projects Space
258 Cambridge Heath Road, London E2 9DA
Free entry and all welcome

I am planning to send an email tonight though, outlining the points that I would to be added into the discussion and my tuppence worth in general.

Anna Francis adds her bit for the artists of Stoke on Trent on her blog:

http://annafrancis.blogspot.com/2010/04/time-to-ta...

Very well said.

# 183 [10 April 2010]

A busy week, hard to catch my breath or think beyond the task in hand. There were some visitors in the studio and I was sad that I didn't have more to show but having to talk more in lieu of show and tell meant that it was actually really helpful. Things shifted a lot in my head during the visit with Louise from S1 and Haroon - unexpected! I am very excited at the moment - lots of ideas just coming together and plans for future work are almost fully formed. I am carving and drawing in the garden today - really wonderful to be getting on with stuff.

On Thursday we were invited to the VIP dinner for collectors et al for the opening of The Economy of the Gift at A Foundation. A delicious dinner that felt akin to a wedding, although we all wimped out and sat next to each other instead of the proverbial drunk uncle! Then there was Ceri Hand and the Bluecoat openings, the latter where my Japanese/Austrian guest was showing. Her work really stood out I think and she seemed to have a good time. I have to go back to see both again though as I couldn't formulate much opinion during these swift visits.

I was invited to have dinner with POST and their Austrian exchange partners on Wednesday evening. It was a really lovely evening and nice to meet some more artists working in Liverpool.

The cardboard furniture set is finished for the first performance at the Bluecoat next week. Had a lovely time working on it with Elizabeth as we seem to be quite harmonious. Perhaps we will collaborate on some art one day... We had a great conversation on Tuesday about payment and negotiating rates. Numerous times we have been brave enough to ask for what we want to be paid, only to then immediately accept half or two thirds, or whatever the amount offered may be. Working with a theatre group recently, Elizaeth told me this came up and they were discussing other responses:

You only have half my budget? Okay, well I will deliver half a play then. Or a book without a cover, or a duet with only one musician, or I will do the painting and then cut it in half and you can choose one bit. We had to be quite strict about the time we worked on the set for - we are both busy and don't want to work for peanuts when time is precious. It can be hard keeping track of time worked when it's not 9 - 5, but it was great to reach our limit and just stop. Must remember that next time.

Now, work begins making sure Taxed no.10 Skillmarket is going to be well attended... event details here:

http://www.a-n.co.uk/interface/whatson/single/6217...

# 182 [5 April 2010]

After spending three days in bed ill, you would think i'd feel rested. But no, not really. Especially as I have spent most of today having stress related anger and throwing things I am halfway through making around the house (mostly cardboard, so not too dangerous).

I just also worked out that the next time I have nothing in my diary is 16th July. Until then there literally feels like no breathing space and I feel like cracking already. Oh dear. I shall have to find some way to manage it all, and enjoy it if possible!

An artist from Linz (here for the Bluecoat exhibition with POST) arrives late tonight. I don't know if she realises the extent of me not living in Liverpool (25 miles int the countryside), or even living somewhere with no public transport to Liverpool. Our nearest station is 10 miles away so she just can't be self-sufficient. I hope I can help her out enough this week, although I feel like my mind is elsewhere at the moment.

There are some hefty deadlines coming up, with proofing for the YSP publication due and theatre set work for next week. I think I have put a lot of pressure on myself during this residency too, and as a result am probably being less productive. Bugger. I am about to agree to do one last thing before the NO wall is coming down and staying locked down until summer. One thing that can be done with existing work mind you! After July I can take the NO wall down and put up a MAYBE wall, rather than the YEAH OKAY wall that stood there before.

One thing I do know is that I'd better calm down a bit, panic is not a good match with efficiency. Is it time for a big soothing wall chart? Probably...

Roll on July.

# 181 [2 April 2010]

I am disappointed today. I always thought Critical Network was quite a critical sort of network, given their views on the olympics and all...

This was in their bulletin today or yesterday - thanks to Tracey Eastham for reminding me (in a semi-flu haze on sofa at the moment). They do point out that it will be sold at a profit, but why feature it at all?

An amazing opportunity (!!!) to design a tin for SteamCream... to be sold at profit and to feature the artists name on the bottom. The winner/s will get..... wait............wait................60 whole pots of the moisturiser with their design/name on it! No money, but don't forget the significant amount of exposure it will bring, being sold in high-end, pricey retailers like Liberty and selfridges, even the Saatchi Art Gallery. So all 'aspiring artists' (not ones who know better or that expect to be paid I guess), should apply tout suite. They get your copyright, to use the image as much and wherever they like, oh and all the profits from sales. It retails at £10/75g pot.

I shall leave you to make up your own minds about whether to apply....

http://www.steamcream.eu/design-competition-2010-1...

# 180 [30 March 2010]

I feel like I should own up a bit today. I had a lovely comment from Rosalind Davis on my blog yesterday, which I really appreciated. BUT! I wanted to say that although I have very strong opinions on some things and trying to improve conditions for artists, I am far from advanced in this (as Rosalind suggests).

The problem starts when I have to negotiate my own working conditions - then I fall far short of my own ideal standards and quickly into the trap of undercharging. Sometimes I know I am doing it, but don't feel I can ask for more. Other times I only realise afterwards when the work kicks in and I calculate my hourly rate with horror. Thankfully, while sorting out some support from a-n for an upcoming event I'm working on, Susan Jones stopped me in my tracks and re-did the budget. In a nice way, the message was something like, for goodness sake Emily, read your own blog and apply it to real life will you?!?

So easy as it is to see the value in other people's work, correct their underpricing and feed with reassurance and confidence, it's just not that simple for yourself. That might be a good reason for keeping in touch with other artists and build up good networks. Then you'll have someone around to set you straight when you forget you need to eat.

# 179 [29 March 2010]

Feeling fairly rotten today. Have been keeping a cold thing at bay for a while, but I think I am about to sucumb. I might just stay home today and keep warm!

Last week was great - really busy and exciting and interesting. Paul Domela came from the Biennial to talk to us at A Curriculum. Interesting for me to hear from the horse's mouth about the Biennial's approach and intentions. Also good to hear a bit more about his background and unconventional route into his current position.

There was some family stuff going on this week too, but I managed to get to Bernd Behr's talk on Thursday. It was a fascinating insight into his residency at the Centre for Land Use Interpretation and the resulting work. Then we had studio visits back at A Foundation where I faced some tough questions from Bernd that confirmed what I was thinking about the weaknesses in current ideas/plans. All good.

Friday was a talk from Kate MacGarry. This proved to be a very down-to-earth chat about how the gallery came into being and what her relationship with the gallery artists involves and how she keeps a happy ship. We also heard about certain expenisve and challenging works and how they came into being. Nice to have some things confirmed (like how not to approach a gallery) and learn lots more about how it works and what having a gallery represent you might involve. I came away thinking that I am not near that yet. Not saying never, but definitely not now.

She also came down to A Foundation and did studio visits in the afternoon and it was lovely to talk about ideas and have a non-academic/theory laden approach in contrast to Bernd's visit. She also gave me plenty of ideas about how to solve current technical difficulties and a bit of reassurance that what I plan to make is interesting.. after worrying about repeating myself I now feel that it is more about developing work further.

On Saturday I did a workshop at Hot Bed Press and then dropped off some work for an exhibition I am in (opens Thursday) at Rogue Project Space. This show 'Built' includes five women artists who respond to the built environment and is curated by Liz Murphy of Contents May Vary. Although I haven't made anything new, which feels strange, I am looking forward to showing alongside these particular artists.

Yesterday I threw a baby shower for my twin sister. She only has four weeks to go and I'm very excited about being an Aunt (Aunty Em). It was great fun, but knackering and now I am finished off.

Today I shall remain wrapped up and do some writing/admining/account maintenance ahead of the end of the tax year and budgeting. I couldn't sleep thinking about my workload last night so it will be great to cross some things off my list.

http://www.katemacgarry.com/
http://www.chisenhale.org.uk/archive/exhibitions/i...
http://www.rogueartistsstudios.co.uk/projectspace....
BUILT - search for Built on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com

# 178 [23 March 2010]

Ugh, waited in all day for a man to come and fix things up. Rather than between 8 - 1, it was actually 4.30 when they rocked up. As it was - the day was mainly a write off and I'm frustrated. Having trouble sleeping at the moment as I have so much on my plate, probably too much. I did a quick write down of tasks and instead of calming me down, it actually made things seem impossible. Not enough days in the week. 

This is all compounded by the fact that I am having various technical difficulties with the work I want to make, i.e. everything I've tried to make so far has FAILED. Add in the theatre set that is turning out to be a fire-proofing nightmare. I have already done various trips to pick up and collect cardboard and I feel like burning it all, maybe adding the resin and catalyst to the pile too for extra flames.

Tomorrow morning is for set making. I can only give thanks for the fact that Elizabeth Willow is coming to help me. It can only get better right.....

# 177 [21 March 2010]

Have been doing a lot of thinking about skill swapping and passing knowledge on this weekend. Hoping to have a bookbinding day with a couple of friends sometime soon to pass on what I have learned about hardback binding. I shall ask for tea and cake in return.

I have also been drawing really cheesy pictures to go on the poster for the local drama group's next play. Hope no one ever sees them connected to my name.... but I am glad I can do this kind of thing to help them out!

I feel very lucky at the moment as we artists in A Curriculum are about to start receiving visitors at A Foundation. This week we have Paul Domela from Liverpool Biennial, Bernd Behr (an artist whose work I am very interested in) and Kate MacGarry, owner of Kate MacGarry Gallery in London. The visitors will give a talk in the morning and then do studio visits in the afternoon. I've never had a studio visit before and don't have much idea of what to expect....but I know this is not the time to start talking about my work like it's a load of crap.

I have noticed a few of us on the residency have a tendency to rubbish what we are doing and sentances are frequently cut short by a 'or whatever' or 'you know, it's just stuff' and other throwaway comments. As an experiment I am going to try and approach it like I am cataloguing myself for Intute. My remit there is to be factual and non-emotional about resources. It has taken me a long time to be able to write like that and to emit myself from text (I have obviously not grown out of my egocentric stage of development), and perhaps it's one way of presenting myself with some vague whiff of confidence or self belief, or whatever, you know, that sorta stuff! *blushes and avoids eye contact*