ARTISTS TALKING

# 13 [7 April 2009]

went to the printers yesterday, so committed now to final 3.

looking forward to seeing them full size on thursday, and checking them before they go to be mounted. hope I have judged the final preparations correctly.

got a quote for the work.

eek!

still, you only do a final show once!

trying to get a grip on the myriad of other minor tasks of my own and those that I have taken on for the show.

feel absolutely shattered. need a holiday, or just a good nights sleep!

# 12 [3 April 2009]

blimey, its enough to make you turn to chocolate... eating it I mean, not actually turning into chocolate, that would just be messy.

I have finished the final edit, ready to take the final three to print on monday. I hate editing, spotting, photoshop generally and trying to get the colour right when I can't see that its wrong; getting niggled about the little things that you can't fix and hope no one else notices.

Of course someone will notice, but it would be nice if they just don't mention it, I know my work isn't perfect, and neither am I, I can see my own faults, I am not stupid, and yes I would like to do better, and one day, I am sure I will.  I am quite capable of beating myself up, I don't need help.

I feel better now I have got that off my chest.

On the whole I am happy with the set of images I have, its a shame I cannot show them all, but I will put the set in a book, and maybe do a copy for the archive too, since they have been so helpful.

# 11 [27 March 2009]

It has been a week of many parts: attempts at reconciliation, crisis of confidence, reshooting, editing, interviewing, calming the stressed and trying not to rise to the bait, and just learning to let go. This is not all just about me, btw, but us collectively....ok so most of them are me... anyway....

I have reviewed all the images and tried to decide what to show, reckon I will only have space for 3 images of around 16 x 20, so what best to show the series?

Canvased opinion of tutors, fellow students and the man on the street (ok actually the man in th kitchen, but you get the idea). Still undecided, one likes the portraits, one the stuff, one a combo. anyway its down to me in the end and I have a week to decide.

In the meantime I have been back to the archive today and reshot some of the possibles, to see if I can get them a bit better. One of my previous victims/researcher was there so I was able to give him the photo I took of him (i had a set of small prints with me to use as a guide) which pleased him. Now have to wait til I can pick up the negs on monday, hopefully scan on tuesday, make a decision, do dust removal etc ready for going to print meeting on 6th April. So by mid april mounting should be done and work ready for show. Phew!

I built plenty of contingency into the plan (learned something useful from my earlier career then). There will still be lots to do for show, but its stuff I can do myself at home.

I hate to release any kind of responsibility for my work to somone else, but needs must, I cannot print and mount to the required standard so just gotta trust the professionals!!!

# 10 [21 March 2009]

I have just had two days of interviewing for the Apprentice task, and very enlightening it has been, for a number of reasons.

The first  interviewee, a photographer with experience of curating/portfolio reviewing/ editorial also gave me some insight into my portfolio. Actually the process of preparing a generic portfolio was a challenge and made me recognise a themes within my work. I can see how I have progressed, what I am doing this year makes last years work look naive and contrived, funny when I was so pleased with it last year. such is growth I guess!

That meeting has been particularly useful when thinking about what exactly I might want to reshoot at the archive for my final portfolio of images and what would complete it, and make it into a more well rounded collection.

The second interviewee was a very experienced, award winning photographer with a long career which has covered just about everything, from war to royals and everything in between. Happily he gave very freely of his career and advice for people starting out in the business, so much so that I thought how great it would have been if he had come in to talk to the students at college (he would but I bet the college wouldn't want to pay for it!)

He explained a lot about the business side, which has not been discussed at all on course, it was all very interesting and I wish I had had this meeting earlier, and all for the price of lunch! Bargain! 

I just need to write up 3 hours worth of conversation. These two days have given me a lot to think about.

# 9 [18 March 2009]

Ok, so got to show the work so far to two tutors!

Both seemed to understand my concerns and agree with me about what are the strongest set of images, those from the Bancroft archive and it is something from this set that I will show at the final exhibition.

On that subject, we, as a group, are just trying to get on with it, putting aside the niggles that have been frustrating us lately.....(Put it in a box!)..we should be enjoying these final weeks, and aiming for the best show we can, so that's what we are going to do!

Need to decide now how many to show, and get those ready for printing.

I  have a busy couple of days ahead, interviewing 2 people in the industry for the apprentice task, which should be fun. A bit nervous because one of them asked to see my portfolio....I know she is just asking to be polite but I just hope its good enough.

# 8 [16 March 2009]

Feeling a bit disillusioned.

 I had made some definite style decisions for the journey part of the project and stuck by them on the shoot. I picked up the negs and have now scanned them, they have come out ok but I am just not feeling them as I would like.  On the shoot I tried not to make them look too landscape-y by trying to project this following a route idea, but they are just rather dull.

I like the archive ones much more, they are very typical of the sort of thing I do. I 'm not sure whether to focus on them or what.

I had planned another on location shoot but then decided to do the scanning first to see how I felt about what I had already taken. That seems a good decision now, as I don't think I can just go on doing what I was doing , and not being happy with the results, its costing a fortune.

also , knowing that we will only be able to show a couple of images each at the final show, it feels more sensible to use the archive shots as that set  doesn't need to be shown in its entirity to make sense. Just a couple of images from the journey project wouldn't really look like a journey just a couple of rather naff canal shots!

hope to get to talk to a tutor tomorrow, as someone's thoughts other than my own would be welcome. 

# 7 [9 March 2009]

Last weeks shoot at Tower Hamlets Archive went well, a few more visitors, who , happily were willing to appear in my photographs. Afterwards took the films for developing and have got  them back today, they look fine but need to be scanned, so more about that when I have done it. (scanned now and a fewshown opposite)

So now the archive images are done I have to do the Limehouse journey ones. I have been avidly checking the weather forecast, and as the forecast for most of this week is rain, thought I had better get out there today (as it was due to be sunny). This is the first full outdoor shoot I have done with the WISTA, so was a bit concerned about the setting up and moving about with all the kit, especially as I was going to be on my own.

Actually that was the least of my worries... it was really cold and blowing a gale, at one point the wind nearly blew a dark slide out of my hand and into the Regents Canal, just managed to hang on to it. I struggled on until 1.15pm then decided I had had enough, especially of dodging the cyclists and runners. I had taken 10 shots. I have been concentrating upon the aesthetics of the images, trying to make them less like landscapes, and give more of a feeling of a journey using a strong sense of perspective of the paths that I / Jonas followed.

I had an interesting discussion last week about the depth of field I am using (shallow). A fellow student was saying that he didn't like it (which is fine) because he liked to see all the fine detail across the whole image. My answer to that is that for me the photograph isn't just about the detail, but about the feeling that the image gives, and that is always what I am looking for when composing a shot, and thats what the shallow depth of field gave me. I thought today for the outdoor shots I might change this, but when I tried it, I wasn't happy with the look, also I am trying to get a bit of continuity into this project rather than being totally random, so am sticking with my first thoughts. For once it might be good to have a coherent body of work, and it would be good to get that event in before the end of my degree!  

I wonder if its a bit of a contradiction in terms, using large format but not being that concerned about the fine detail! Am I just mad? answers on a postcard please...

# 6 [4 March 2009]

oh happy day !

I have scanned all the negs and have only spoilt a couple of the images!

One has my shadow in it , dammit, and one is ever so slightly out of focus. Have another shoot planned so can get these right next time.

As anticipated, I did like the abstract image created by the map cabinet shown.

In the other one I had expected to like, the composition wasn't quite right, but the idea is worth trying again. On the whole it was a pretty pleasing result, and I am confident to go back this week. I think I will go a bit later to try to get some more people.

# 5 [27 February 2009]

After a sleepless night worrying, went today to do my first shoot at the Tower Hamlets Archive. I arrived early as the librarian had suggested and indeed, found it very quiet, and more spacious than I remembered. A distinct lack of researchers was a bit of a surprise and as I intended this part of the project to be about people, that was a bit of a problem!

but never mind, I took some deadpan shots of the archive, and got some of the librarians in too.  the place lends itself well to deadpan...cabinets drawers rows of stuff etc. eventually a couple of 'punters' dropped in and they didn't need persuading to be in shot, although one said he wanted make up.

out of the 10 images I took, 2 stood out to me as they were taken, it will be fun to see if they are the most interesting, one is of an open map cabinet (don't ask!). it looked quite abstract and not really the style or subject I had planned, but anyway..... the other was of a high stretch of filing with Malcolm the librarian in the corner. Will see on monday how they pan out. Have planned for another visit anyway, the people at the archive are lovely, very helpful and fascinated by the WISTA. Its funny but its only when I use the WISTA that I feel like a proper photographer...

annoyingly managed to waste one of my last few polaroids when testing, I seem to have an average of "use one, spoil one" but soon I will have none left anyway, but at least I won't need to carry the polaroid holder with me everywhere!

Next shoot Friday 6th march

# 4 [26 February 2009]

I'm feeling really nervous about using the large format camera again. It seems such a long time since I used it last , probably because it is.

I have just set up in the living room and used one of my precious remaining polaroids to prove to myself that I do know how to use everything properly.

I will be photographing at the Tower Hamlets archive tomorrow, have deceided to do this part first, as it is the least important , in that I may not use it in the end, to try to get my confidence up a bit.

Maybe I should have just used digital!