ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [27 May 2009]

I am a painter, I am based in London. I graduated from the Royal College of Art in 2005. I have exhibited quite a bit since graduating and it has been quite an education.  I show with galleries as well as with independent curators and projects.

I think I would like to do a PHD but not sure if I am academic enough. I like to teach- I want to do more. A workaholic, I never have enough time for all that I want to achieve.

 I am passionate about my work and of art. This is the quote that coherently explains my feelings about my work.  ‘Painting is a language through which painters discover their subjects and also both lose and find themselves.It is as much an act of recovery as it is one of discovering the unknown As words frequently tell the writer what to write , the substance of a painting dictates where nuance lies and where meaning might be found. If painting is a  mirror it cannot avoid reflecting the one who made it. Paint can be dirty and sorrowful. These places are scenes of loneliness and desperation but also of hope and redemption.’’ Adrian Searle, Peter Doig Catalogue

So lets begin somewhere in the middle of this. In 2008 I was selected through open submission for Salon 08 which is where I first caught the eye of Kate Jones,   ( from John Jones, the eminent framers and supporters of contemporary art ) one of the Judges of the prize. We then met whilst I was showing at the London Art Fair with Contemporary Art Projects.  The rest is history etc. The Jones family many of whom are involved in the John Jones business are some of the loveliest people I have met in the art world. genuinely passionate about art and artists, Professional and pretty darn cool.

I am looking forward to it. It's a great motivator to have a deadline and the opportunity to show works to a new audience. I am in the middle of making works for it and am also making some changes n my work- With encouragement from a fellow artist Matthew Atkinson ( www.matthewatkinson.co.uk) and also from my long suffering partner  Ben, (or LSP as he will be known in the future) I am unravelling exciting things. Oils, after a sabbatical of 10 years- oh , the joy of that! The way it glides and the depth of the colour!

I am exploring and experimenting and it is scary!  letting go of some things and making leaps – or so it feels to me-rather than baby steps. Perhaps you will not see anything too brave… I hope you will as it is my desire to keep pushing.

 So dear reader I will take you on my journey as I agonise and obsess over these changes and talk about previous experiences in the art world, the highs and lows of being an artist and my own occasional rants and  philosophies....

# 2 [27 May 2009]

So, I am in the middle of about 3 or 4 paintings. I like to work on them in Tandem. I have, as mentioned moved into oils. I realise they are my obsessions, I drift off to them when I am not with them, staring and scrutinising. worrying.Like love I guess with hopefully a fair amount of joy thrown in!

Ayeslbury estate part II ( pictured)  is the second in a survival series examining the Ayelsbury estate, one of the more notorious in South east london, described as Hell's Waiting room and soon to be demolished. I recently went to the Courbusier exhibition, he, who was a pioneer of the type of social housing that inspired the Ayeslbury and subsequent housing estates. A dream of utopia and making buildings that reach up to heaven fell into dsytopia with neglect, crime and segregation of social classes, creating a ghetto where crime occurs every four hours.

I am trying to be freer with paint, not so literal, loosening my technique. My work can balance in style between realism and naivety, overperfection....lets muck it up a bit was a suggestion from MA. so I am trying. Using oils helps as it means I am already unbalanced from my normal practise.

Also, I generally use embroidery in parts of my work, its fragility and seductive nature enhances the juxtaposition between manmade and organic, the neglected or desolate buildings and the meticulous nature of the stitching.But, I am trying without it, to  see what that shall mean to mywork, what I could do differently. In contrast I am working on a small piece that is almost entirely stitched.

Odeon, Well hall Road is large, very large for me- twice the size that I usually paint. It is in Eltham, a dilapidated art deco cinema opposite where Stephen Lawrence was murdered ( I have painted the Stephen Lawrence centre in the past- see Inheritance Part I) Two good reasons to paint it  as a place of social commentary and history.  

Another reason came by surprise; a facebook page set up petitioning against  a proposal for the cinema being turned into an Islamic centre, a xenophobic, rascist rant of a page ......a very dismal page and evidence of a section of society that seems unchanged by the tragic case of Stephen Lawrence.

I uploaded work in progress photos and used photoshop to try out a few ideas. Using the heavily patterned background I cannot always try out ideas directly onto the fabric and was surprised at how effectively I could use photoshop to play with composition. Of course I use a sketchpad too, but this was pretty interesting

# 3 [4 June 2009]

I  recently found out the dates of my show at John Jones, 6thJuly-21st August.

This news is met by a mild stress attack which leads me into clumsy mode. I break a glass, try and put a t-shirt in the bin rather than washing machine and locked myself out of my flat. Wonderful! Luckily for me there is scaffolding outside my flat so I climb up onto it and scramble through a window in our living room, luckily I happened to have my driving license to prove I actually lived there to the bemused scaffolders! To boot I am getting a cold or flu and it makes productivity minus 50%  Damn!

Slightly unfortunately  I am away in Florence ( yes I know poor me!) , next week with my father and LSP, booked before I knew my dates! thankfully the opening  at John Jones isnt going to be until the end of July where there will be a big summer party. So,  I have plenty of time to organise myself and sort my invites out. phew!

 A note about my father, he is an artist himself and rather eccentric. He has been married 6 times and could have been a Lord. His maternal grandfather was Sir Norman Stewart who was ready to bestow his title on my father. My father’s father , ( through envy we believe,)  told him ‘ A man does not inherit a title he earns it.’ A saying he himself could not live up to. So, there, up in smoke was a parallel life when I could have been a rich artist living somewhere marvellous rather than growing up on a council estate in Brockley! Perhaps I would never have found how social housing and community buildings are so compelling and full of pathos.

I have finished 8,000 Souls Part II and feel rather elated. Well Hall road and a new piece of the Kidbrooke Estate are going well. Oils are getting everywhere, seeping through my apron. I am constantly wiping off incriminating splodges on the computer before my partner returns. I even have it on my foot...????

I may never go back to acrylics. I love the tones you build up in oils, the subtlety of the colour, its softness and shine. I cant understand people who get technicians to paint their paintings.

The idea is not enough. Being part of the making is so important. To put yourself in it – it is part of a physical expression. For us it is total peace.’Dominique Gonzalez

 Also I have given up on the idea that I won’t use embroidery. I feel bereft without it. Paint on its own is not enough, but again there I can be more experimental and random. I will challenge myself with it.

Speaking of which do go and see the excellent and exciting Michael Raedecker at The Camden Art Centre- on until 28^th June.

# 4 [5 June 2009]

I am having doubts about the Well Hall Road painting I dont know if the size has defeated me- for me smaller, finer works better perhaps....or whether the  building is too undetailed. Sometimes a painting just does not work and it is pretty hard to take, devastating in fact, you want it all to work. In ervything there is a lesson and I am not giving up on this one yet.

 I can understand how people get furious and rip up their work but I just could not do that.....

I cant see where to fix it or if I am just too close to it to see whether it is any good. I shall leave it for a week and then have another look. And get opinions.......maybe I am being overly critical.

These oils are amazing! I have gone back and started painting over an older painting. it looks miles better already It is somehow easier to go back and be experimental after a few months not looking at something.

You learn so much in each painting. The difficult thing is not going back and re-painting everything! better to move forward....

I am sometimes asked how I can bear to sell my paintings. people have such romantic notions of artists, I guess with good reason. However being an artist is a job like others.

You have to progress, make a living, move up the ladder and part of that is selling. It is also something that makes me proud. I want other people to own my paintings to be moved by them..To be engaged with them. Professional painters do not paint for themselves alone, art is greater than that.

# 5 [15 June 2009]

I identified with so many aspects of another blog by Emily Speed on how artists can actually get paid to make art. Whether it is feasible to be able to exhibit or take part in shows when there is considerable cost in time and money to yourself.

I believe in exhibiting even if it is unpaid- it is ,99% of the time it is unpaid- the  and the preparation is meaningful. You can contemplate the work, its effect on others, complete a body of work.

 It would also seem there is a lot of truth in that you can only get paid for 'projects'. The end result though may not be something you really wanted to do, perhaps a dilution, even with its own rewards. Its a tough balance

I recently went to a workshop on socially engaged practise to see if I could get some tips on this broad subject. I had not realised what ' Socially engaged' practise means until speaking to Artquest who were very helpful and shed light on this subject for me and that my own work carried elements of this; focussing on buildings within communities and the psychology of the society around it.

However, it is a very very complicated area.........! So, as I say , I have gone to a few conferences/workshops to figure this out a bit.....

At many my heart sinks very low , a room of professional funder finders. A whole other genre of artists who understand forms and how to get funding and all sorts of things. Amazing!  But I also remember examples of dismal  'public or socially engaged'  artworks being chuntered out under this title and funding going to this.  In many aspects these ' public' works do not fit under the category of art- and many artists, ( even the ones at these conferences,)  argue that there needs to be a new definition of such things

As a painter, it is not seen that your work can be socially engaged on its own, but I know that painting can be. It is interactive, conceptual, it touches people, it makes them wonder, it transports people. Much more so than some ' socially engaged work' which amounts to yet another mosaic for example or work that is actually excluding rather than inclusive because it is over conceptual and hard for non-artists to understand or engage with on any level.

Often these works can be an aesthetic disappointment to boot.

I have begun to try and expand my practise so I can be viable for projects, to interact with participants in an interesting way, getting narratives that actually end up informing my pieces as well. it has helped a bit with proposals as curators also seem to want interactive video /sound.

maybe one day in the far future if I have a hundred years to fill out a grant with the arts council I may even get funding to further my research.....?!But, it has been an interesting journey so far and I have only just begun.

# 6 [18 June 2009]

I have returned and think Well Hall road painting is going to work out. I have some ideas.....

The building on the left hand side has been altered- the perspective was a bit off so it is looking much better. Perspective is not my strongest point. I have mild dispraxia and sometimes cannot read angles well. So it is something of an oxymoron that I paint buildings and need a grasp of said topic. It is painful and frustrating for me at times this difficulty . I am learning.

# 7 [19 June 2009]

Have I said how I am running out of time? This week has been torn with appointments I have to keep, and other non-painting work to do- specifically teaching today. Teaching teachers actually, great fun!

It is the last couple of weeks I have before delivery of works. I am trying to keep hold of my anxiety, aware that again next week my days are fragmented into other duties and responsibilities.  At some point I also need to speak to Ben, my LSP and see how his life is!

 I cant do all nighters to finish, my body and mind not ablel to cope. Usually I finish way before the deadline and think why do I worry, but I do!

I also am in desparate need of a studio, I have paintings building up around me as I whirl between them, stitching , letting others dry, painting again.

Ben eyes the living room  where my studio is in the corner, usually a little more self contained, he laughs it away but I am finding it hard to cope with the mess myself. I prefer neatness than an avalanche of paper and paints and embroidery everywhere,

 on that note I have to go!

# 8 [22 June 2009]

So I have decided to start making another painting in between finishing two off. Why not?!. I just keep thinking that I want a great choice of work to pick from for my show at JJ. That I like to err on the side of caution of having too much work than not enough and I feel I am really developing and learning so much in the last few paintings that I don’t want to interrupt the flow.

Besides I am only going slightly mad already and if I sit unoccupied for too long I may just fall into a daze of tiredness so better to keep on the adrenaline rollercoaster.....

On Friday I went to Graham Crowley’s book launch at City and Guilds . The Principal there Tony carter gave a lovely speech about Graham which reflected and struck a note with the artists there about how difficult it can be for artists to keep body and soul together. The unreasonableness of trying to make art and make money, to keep your integrity and higher ideals as well as surviving.

It’s a struggle

I work part-time in order to allow me to make my work. But I dislike my droning job. Quite a lot.  I would prefer to teach part-time art or textiles more but those kind of jobs are few and far between. I have done this particular job throughout my BA, MA and since.

It gives me some security and means I can buy paint and survive. The boring job is the sacrifice I am willing to make so that I can try and make a career in art and it is also only 2 days a week, the rest of the 5 I am painting and happy.

On another note, the brilliant Vented Spleen has published online his very witty ‘ Art School Scum’ graphic comic. The comic illustrates the people you find at Art Schools ( and the art world actually) , this is one of my favourites and very recognisable….not in me I hasten to add…..! 

‘ The Self Obsessed Neurotic’

‘ Under the misguided impression that their lives are so much more interesting than anyone else’s, their work will , more often than not, focus on

1.The Artist’s sex life

2.A-boring-to-anyone-other-than-the-artist obsession/fetish of theirs

3. Their childhood.

It is pointless trying to instigate conversation with the self-obsessed neurotic about anything other than themselves as it is a futile gesture.  ’

You can see the whole comic on Ventedspleen.com

# 9 [22 June 2009]

Preparing for the exhibition at John Jones and for others I constantly examine and consider my practise. A  question that comes up from time to time is why I use embroidery within my works. I studied Mixed Media Textiles at The RCA and managed to get taught by the Professor Graham Crowley of the painting department as well which helped me immensely with my progress and development as an artist. Since then I have met with a number of interesting artists and art professionals who have educated me as well along the way.

Reasons I use embroidery;

Embroidery creates intimacy but it is an isolated pursuit. The spaces I paint combine both these elements, lonely places, yet communal.

The structures, the lines, the intricacy and meticulousness of the stitching are a contrast to the restless and agitated places depicted and the expressiveness of the paint.The alluring qualities or the embroidery threads are used to emphasise the fragility of the spaces depicted.

I wish to challenge conventional use of embroidery as a decorative and safe medium by placing it within paintings which depict unconventional beauty and bleak spaces.

A means to create complex, multilayered surfaces and combine techniques

Embroidery is used to reflect the organic subject matter as it is organic subject matteropportunity to find new freedoms and expressions in painting.

The printed floral farics I use in my works are historically and culturally conscious and symbolic.   

A former tutor once wrote this for an exhibition of mine and I thought it was marvellous and articulated a lot of my feelings, for Textiles is a realm in which there is a lot of cute and decorative things and not taken very seriously. My work is concept driven and quite firmly art, whilst craft based in terms of painting and the embroidery in the sense that it is skilled.

‘Textiles are usually associated with decoration, pattern and colour, a soft, warm, feminine material.  They are also an undervalued, underappreciated and misunderstood medium. The work of Rosalind Davis challenges the preconceptions that accompany the word, Textiles. Davis subverts the medium and presents us with an ominous, threatening world exposing us to post apocalyptic painted landscapes.  The only evidence of human existence is rendered through her use of embroidery. It’s a dark and dirty tactile world that you will be glad not to inhabit.  Textiles can be powerful stuff. ’

Freddie Robins Artist and Tutor in Constructed Textiles at the Royal College of Art, London

# 10 [29 June 2009]

I was having a conversation with someone about buildings. Why I like buildings? What makes me paint them? why particular buildings? the reasons develop and evolve and there are many layers to it.  

Buildings have powerful connotations. Notions of identity are strongly linked with building; the places where we are bound.

They are refuges, sanctuary, prisons, cells, palaces. They can be cultural and social signifiers.

Buildings can often be relegated to the background but can also contain all ones private thoughts, memories and emotions:

Within them we live out our lives. Evolving, destroying, living, dying. We love there and lose there.

They aid the construction of our individual identity whilst forming the foundations of society’s common identity.

Ever increasingly buildings are ephemeral and transient objects in our environment. I document these buildings. Fascinated by them. They make my heart sort of stutter, the huge housing estates and the seemingly lack of humanity. How utopia slides so quickly into dystopia. Yet somewhere in these places there are signs of light. A garden on a balcony...attempts of beauty and reform. You have to find something beautiful there so you can live, it may have just been the tree blossoming outside your window…

These places can feel like ghost towns even when they may still full of people. Lonely and sad. Their melancholy I understand. The pathos is a jagged kind of beauty.