ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [22 June 2009]

Steve McQueen, Britain’s representative at the Venice Biennale, was giving a press conference about his artwork, a short film depicting the setting of the Biennale after the glamorous art world had left.

A reporter from a Sunday newspaper asked whether the two dogs in the film were a factual part of the scenario or fictional. In other words, were they there when he was filming or did he have them specially brought in?

McQueen was irritated by this question. Another reporter asked another question about the dogs. McQueen got even more irritated but he didn't answer the questions. He didn't feel that he should have to explain his artwork.

I found this interchange interesting and unsettling. Why should an artist have to explain her/his work? Why can't the work speak for itself and let the viewer make their own meanings?

I suppose I'm trying to say, in a long winded way, that sometimes I might get forced into explaining my work when I don't want to. It's often expected for artists to have artist statements, to have some theory behind the work when  at times there isn't anything to say.

I'm trying to put my cards on the table from the beginning.

I'm not going to try and explain my work but I will try, through this weblog, to explore my ideas, observations and creations in order to become a better artist.

For me to explain the work, immediately, the possiblities are limited. I don't want to limit my work as an artist. I don't want to limit the response to my artwork.

# 2 [22 June 2009]

Notes on the work:

I have a number of ideas and projects running through my head, my dreams.

And coming to visual arts from another artform I'm fond of writing out my ideas, making lists and adding the odd line drawing or cut out to support the words. Then when I start the piece, be that drawing, painting or collage, I feel I know what I want to do and I just do it.

Things to do list:

1. 'The Black Woman' - an autobiographical, genealogical project. Parts include how the Black Woman is viewed in society, family and self. Relationships and positioning.

Subsection includes body/landscape/seascape

2. 'In Residence' - North East Coast. An open residency which can be anything I choose as long as its underlining theme is the sea. Researching and exploring the terrain at the moment. Rich pickings. Lighthouses. Tour?

3. 'Still Life'- miniature drawings using coloured pencils of wildlife and the natural world.

4. 'The Journals of Travel and Love' - One aspect is the exploration of Africa in the 18th and 19th century and plundering of resources and people. The actual explorers' journals and the exposure of attitudes and practices.

5. 'Home' series. Interiors and exteriors, spirit, belonging, place. Blueprints and plans. Physical and emotional connotations. Caribbean? England? Bradford?

# 3 [26 June 2009]

I'm not sure what I'm doing at the moment. I feel a bit in limbo. I'm desperately trying to complete a number of different jobs and projects; all have been in the pipeline for far too long for my liking. I can tell that because I'm bored of them. When I think about the writing, the applications, the marking, they hold no fascination, no joy for me. So instead of shutting up and getting on with them, I move them around different 'to do ' lists. Then I have a feeling of doing something but I'm not really.

Today I thought I was going insane, either that or I'm in need of a rest. I thought I'd lost my credit card ( don't use the things myself but had to as bank card was cancelled due to attempted fraud, another story).

Anyway, yesterday I had just been exercising that compulsion to spend as is the case with credit cards; the buying of things I don't really need. I look in my purse today and it's not there. I have a vision of it sticking out one of those little machines at the cash desk and start to panic. Dial 118 118 to report the loss and cancel the card. Crisis averted. 15 minutes later I find the card in the back pocket of my jeans.

Going crazy or tired?

# 4 [28 June 2009]

The majority of my work starts with an idea, obviously. But it can be an idea from anywhere. I love looking at the old movements. I've been going through a phase of cubism and futurism. I'm not sure how this will come out in my work but I like the idea of challenging perspectives and the usual way of seeing things.

So a project starts with an idea I want to explore, a theme or subject rather than a decision about the medium to be used or a final outcome.

I utilise various media to get the job done but no more so than the word. I've got notebooks of words, notes as I deliberate the best way to get my message across, to present the theme. I'll go through many practise pieces, which I call 'play'. But which produces piece of art in their own right. After working through many trials and errors, I'm happy with the process and what I produce.

Get back to your list Sheree!

# 5 [2 July 2009]

Everything is changing.

It's moving towards summer and things are slowly down. Say it's the teacher in me still, but I'm working towards those six weeks off ( well seven this year) when my time is my own.

Having time on my hands makes a difference, in terms of my thoughts and actions. I allow myself to indulge myself by spending hours surfing the website on research, walkng around art galleries, doodling in sketch pads, reading stuff!

I become really more relaxed about my work. Spaces open up in my head that I feel the need to fill with project ideas, experimentations, reflections and forward planning.

Everything is changing and I'm getting ready for the time.

# 6 [7 July 2009]

I like discipline, I like being organised, I like simple. There's something satisfying about having a to-do list and watching it disappear as I tick things off. There's that sense of achievement. But then there's a question that follows: What next?

There's a number of things I know I don't want to do anymore:

* No more school workshops 

*No more doing workshop favours for friends 

* No more saying 'yes' when I mean 'no'    

* No more taking jobs just because of the money

I think the time has come to take that time out, to take a risk and learn new skills.

I'm going back to college. 

# 7 [13 July 2009]

I've got a summer assignment to do - Self and the Environment. I can't remember if I'd mentioned it here. I've been so busy with it being in my head that I'm not sure where I'm at ...

# 8 [13 July 2009]

So Self and Environment. And I've always been thinking about where I belong in this world. Issues with 'home', 'place' and 'country'. But hey I've only got about 6-7 weeks and those issues are major and may never be resolved. So I'm thinking small, self-contained place that can stand in for the big things. Or can at least act as a blank canvas for me to work out my issues on, but slowly.

So I'm thinking the Blue Flag beach just along the road from me. A smalll sandy bay, alcove that some days looks like the Med and others like the hellish coast of the Highlands.

Yes, I'll start there. I'll Walk The Sand....

# 9 [2 August 2009]

Back from holiday. It was excellent. A secluded log cabin on a loch in Wester Ross, West Scotland. It was beautiful and peaceful. No one around for miles ( well apart from the family). But it was the sheer cut-off-ness from everybody and everyone that held my attention. All my thoughts anmd feelings were my own without anyone else manipulating them or pulling them in so many different directions. Bliss. I want to go back.

# 10 [8 September 2009]

I've started my new course. Only a few days in. Did our first drawing exercise today. A case of Zen drawings, following out 'Master's' instructions etc. It's pretty intensive. I'm tired. But already questions have been thrown up about what/who is an/the artist? Annette Messager says as artist is a trangressor, challenging society's codes or norms. Is that what I am?

Already I've got to think about my next step after this course - carry on to something higher?

What is good is the liberating feeling I have when I get home; that I can spend as many hours as I want now on my art as I'm on a course. It gives me permission to work and not feel guilt. That is something new. That is something I like.