ARTISTS TALKING

# 41 [12 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 11

Bayerns stunned Yop Lane with a late strike to win by a goal to nil. The Yop Lane no 3 player was far from impressed..' I can't believe it, there were only a few seconds to go when we let in a farcical goal. We need to take a long look at ourselves and see what we can put right for the next match. I have a lot of good friends in the Bayerns team - many I still consider to be friends for life. We'll move on though, I miss playing for Bayerns but now I've been drafted in here to do a job and get us up there challenging for titles in the coming years.' Athletico managed to get their two best players sent off in a heated contest against Indentine, but they managed to hold out for the 2-1 leading scoreline...Novia moved up into third position with an easy win over a Lunderbach side that looked completely void of the inventiveness that they promised after signing the tricky little winger from Red Noughtens.

Sporting Radio... Pundit A:'Oh come off it, how do you expect new starts like Yop Lane to really challenge Bayerns and Novia in the title race...seriously mate, it just ain't gonna happen' Pundit B ...'They didn't win the league in the Colbreck division without some potential, I think you really underestimate the strength in depth of some of those clubs...you need to wake up and smell the ol' coffee..'

Hallex Invention Systematics have agreed a six month sponsorship deal with Zindustrious.

# 42 [13 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 12

Novia's early season charity match against Red Star came back to haunt them as they'd originally played this fixture during the summer break - the 3-1 defeat was carried forward and put them eight points behind the team ot the summit...Leaders Bayerns were in a different class away to Liver Halvers as they finished up winners by four goals to one... The Universo Collunteen boss has warned his side's fans: 'Behave yourselves.' Their gaffer hopes that there's no repeat of the trouble at the pre season friendly when they meet up against Zindustrious in their next league game. 'We did well there against Dons - 'they're always a tough team to beat, but we really need the fans to behave themselves. Lets just hope we're talking about incidents on the pitch, as opposed to off it at the final whistle against the Zinnies.'

Vallcome have confirmed that they're now moving their consortium to The Colbreck league as they're beginning a new phase in a marketing campaign.

# 43 [18 March 2011]

Bayerns and Tranquilayers battled out a 2-2 draw...Athletico capitalised with a 2-1 win away to their noisy neighbours Chamber Athlete...Yop Lane were impressive in their away win over basement side Indentine...Novia returned to championship form with a solid performance against a tough Delta, winning one goal to nil.

Low budget Sefton Niniann security services have taken over the Dons franchise as the club have lost fifty percent Sporting funding for their police force.

# 44 [18 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 14

Tempers flared in the Sporting League match between Yop Lane and Olby. The Yoppites were incensed at the referee adding an extra ten minutes injury time, blowing the whistle as soon as Olby scored. Yop manager fumed: 'The ref is out of order, I was thinking about putting the report into The sporting federation but it would have the chocolate fireguard effect. A bloody disgrace!'....Bayerns won one goal to nil in a steady performance against struggling Dons...Tranquilayers celebrated opening their new record label with a new kit and a two-one victory over Pacifica.

Latest research at The Universo University suggests that life expectancy in the Sporting region is on the rise, a population expert has said. However, people in industrialised areas such as Universo itself will live an average 10 years less than those residing in the upmarket Tranquilayers Hilti forest.

# 45 [20 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 15

Metronova had a stunning 2-0 win over Athletico which meant that Bayerns were able to capitalise with a 5-0 win away to Zindustrious in what can only be described as the most intimidating ground to visit as an away team in Sporting football...Novia refuted accusations that their slacker affectation in their marketing is spilling onto the football field: Novia boss...'Well, look, we're not the kind of place where we'll all be rushing about stressin'...it ain't our style, but we've got a good work ethic down here...I'm sure the Colne players would be the first to agree.'

 Novia whimsically won the match by two goals to nil.

There has been a recent convention on fuel duty rises in Green Tree state as they prepare to make the area a non-car zone by 2020. The club celebrated their post match win at Bombaya camping out with their supporters at Green Tree plaza.

# 46 [21 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 16

Sporting Radio: Pundit x: 'Turgid, turgid, turgid! How can that be a good advert for The Sporting League? That was the most defensive game I've seen in the last ten years. You know, it gets more and more about the money with these big clubs...' An extract from the postmortem of The Novia versus Bayerns game that ended goaless.

The Pacifica school of philosophy has lost it's funding from the Sporting League council. The school of thought are proposing a silent demonstration on the steps of Athletico Stadium - regular recipients of the grant.

# 47 [22 March 2011]

Sporting League: Game 17

Sporting Radio: Pundit X: 'This Tranquilayers team is in a transition period, I was well pleased with the win over Chamber but I'm pretty sure the press have got the knives out too early...'

Pundit Y: 'I know Delta have got some experience but not enough to give them a top five finish...I don't know why they refuse to buy over the summer.'

Pundit Y: 'I think Olby need to go 4-3-3. I mean in their last game they didn't have enough bodies in support. Lets face it, they got lucky against Dons this evenin'.'

The Sporting League Consumer Prices Index (SLC) annual rate of inflation has risen to 8.6%, up from 4% this season.

This was driven by higher food, fuel and clothing costs and was the highest level for more than five years.

# 48 [24 March 2011]

The Sporting League: game 18

The recent convention at The University Of Universo continued questioning the validity of the existence of The Sporting League. The next meeting of the great minds will feature 'Is consciousness - a mere construct?'

Meanwhile, Universo Collunteen did their homework on the training pitch prior to a convincing two goals to one victory over thirteenth placed Metronova.

Red Star regained some respectability with a two goals to one win against a league leaders Bayerns.

Sporting Radio: Pundit 'x': 'Forgive me for missing something out there today, but why did Bayerns insist on playing with just one up front? I think the suggestions of ill discipline with their strike force could be true...'

The Delta Association of Communication Agencies says the state online advertising market rose 40% last season. Could we be looking at a return to past glories for The Sporting League's original technology innovators?

# 49 [26 March 2011]

The Sporting League: game 19

Bayerns remained at the top of the tree with a hard fought 4-3 win over Delta.

Delta boss: I can start to see the green shoots showing through. I think the supporters will need to give us a few seasons to get the finances sorted and then we'll be cooking with gas...please believe me.' Athletico cruised to a 2-1 victory over Tranquilayers  without ever really getting out of second gear....Sporting Radio: Pundit A :'Tranquilayers are in danger of slipping into mid-table mediocrity if they're not careful. You know, they've not won the league since that hazy season of 1995. I know people are frustrated over there at the term of  the sleeping giant. I can't see where their next top six is going to come from, let alone a title. Their top brass seem to be more concerned with opening up health spa's, coffee shop and twee craft galleries in the Hilti forest than putting the cash into the team' Pundit B: 'I think you just say these things for a reaction, I guess it's what pays the bills to say stuff for the sake of it, but Tranquilayers have got the players. I'd go as far as to say that their current crop of players are superior to the Sporting League winners of 1987 but just don't have enough leaders.'

** People from across The Sporting League have started a march in Sporting City in protest at the Sporting spending cuts.

The Universo Council predicts more than 400,000 people will join the march, to be policed by 10,000 police.

The UC said it was deploying more than 3,000 stewards to ensure the event remained "family friendly".

The Sporting federation say the cuts are necessary to fix the public finances and critics must come up with an alternative.



# 50 [27 March 2011]

The Sporting League: Game 20

Metronova had a reverse in fortunes with a comeback against the youngsters of the league Colne. Sporting Radio Pundit A:'It was hot out there today, good to see the return of the summer, the familiar sounds of the motorbikes coming from the Colne bike circuit.' Pundit B: 'I agree, the sound of motorbikes really does define this part of the Sporting region, but unfortunately for Colne, it seemed that Metronova were the ones using the horse power out there today.'

Bayerns boss: 'I can't believe we managed to get the win against Universo today, they were all over us. We've got some unbelievable defenders in our team - I've never seem so many shots on target for a Bayerns opponent. How we managed to win that one, I'll never know.'

Olby missed out on the chance of joining the leaders as they were held at home to a nil-nil draw against a particularly stubborn Lunderbach.

Novia hammered Chamber Athlete by four goals to one. Novia boss: 'Pleased with that one, we got the bounce of the ball and that was a result that's certainly gonna help as we move rapidly towards the business end of the season.'