ARTISTS TALKING

# 148 [22 September 2011]

Sporting League 2010 – 2011

Game 3

Sporting Athlete hit the top of the table for the first time in their history after a two goals to nil win over relegation fodder Indentine. Sporting Radio Pundit X: ‘I think they’re (Sporting Athlete) are gonna be pleased with that result. Granted, it’s only three games into the season, but ye know…history is history. I reckon the boardroom staff will be poppin’ the ol’ bubbly as we speak.’

Tranquilayers put in a complaint to The Sporting League patrol panel after the Red Star forward allegedly lashed out at the Tranquilayers players in a post match bust up in the tunnel. Tranquilizers fan calling in to Sporting Radio: ‘It was embarrassing to see. I think that player has kicked their last Sporting League football…we need to stamp out this kind of ill discipline sooner rather than later.

Pundit Y: ‘I don’t think the Tranquilayers players are exactly shining lights themselves. I know what its like out there in the war zone. Let’s just say wicked whispers often lead to these kinds of incidences. I like the Red Star set up myself…you knows you’re always gonna get a tough game down there. I think the Tranquilayers players get a bit above themselves…’

Pundit Y: ‘Look, I think the supporter had a good point to be honest – we just can’t have players wildly lashing out at the end of the game…I hope The panel throw the book at Red Star big time for this debacle.’

Saints also maintained their one hundred percent despite getting two players sent off for dissent as they held on to a three goals to two lead over Lunderbach.

Paytonia Consortia revealed that they’d purchased a thirty percent stake in new side Haaveno on the back of a one goal to nil shock win over Athletico.

# 147 [9 September 2011]

Sporting League 2010 -2011

Game 2.

Bayerns came back from a goal down against Indentine to ease themselves to a three goals to one victory. Bayerns gaffer: 'I've gotta be pleased with that result. Our players responded well in the second half. I like the look of some of the Indentine players and will make a few enquiries before the transfer window closes.'

 Champions Universo were still without a win after being held to another draw, this time against Novia. Sporting Radio Pundit X: 'I was in the Universo bar at the end of the game and was surprised by the amount of executives swanning about the joint. I don't know, they claim to be the side of the workers and one championship win and the're cosying up to big business.'

Pundit Y: ' Nah, I think the ol' Universo will continue to fly the red flag...look it's The Sporting League mate, you need to accept the fact that you can't live without the suits in this game.'

# 146 [2 September 2011]

The Sporting League

Season 2010 - 11

Game 1

The league retured after the summer break with the newly installed Pointeso gaffer demanding wholesale squad improvements. Ninth position last year was way under par. I haven't done too much work in the transfer market over the summer because I believe the existing squed can take us to the next level with a top five finish.'

Unfortunately for Pointeso, the boss had to endure a dire performance against Sporting Athlete as they went down by two goals to one in their curtain raiser.

Champions Universo were held to a draw against transitional giants Athletico...Last years third placed squad Tranquilayers came back from a goal to sink Drakens by two goals to one...Sporting Radio Punit X: 'I thought a lot of the sides looked lean and mean after the break. Tranquilayers have got a bit of urgency about them when the ol' chips are down, so I can see them being in contention again.'

Pundit Y: 'So, did ya enjoy the Tranquilayers golf courses over the summer?'

'Oh aye, always get meself round the ol' eighteen holes and bottles of champers to boot...don't you worry about me sonny.'

Punit Y: 'Well I was walkin' to the studio this morning through Sporting City zone 34.5 and, I don't know, you get a real sense about everyone you meet that the season has started...I get a feelin' that Pointeso might cause a few surprises this year.'

Pundit X: 'The boss needs to get shut, trust me. I would have cleared the decks and started again. Too much ill discipline for my liking...'

# 145 [31 August 2011]

Sporting League season 2009 - 10

Game 38

Universo Collunteen won their first Sporting league title after a scintillating performance that was sealed with an injury time winner on home turf against nearest rivals Bayerns.

Sporting Radio Pundit X: 'Did I dream that one? sometimes I wonder ye kno'...is this reality? You should have been there when the final whistle went...I've never seen celebrations like it in my life. I mean, a year ago to this very day the Universo were trudging off after being pipped to the post by Novia. I'm lost for words...I mean they went the whole season with only one defeat. I think the Universo campaign has defied Sporting League gravity laws.'

Tranquilayers secured third position after an assured performance against Chamber Athlete.Tranquilayers boss: 'It's kind of painful to have ninety two points and still not have the elusive trophy. We'll regroup over the summer, my scouts have got an eye on a few additions to the squad, but my congrats must go out to Universo...we'll have a socialist league next year...you won't be surprised to learn that it's not my cup of tea! As for Bombaya going out of the league, well it didn't do Universo any harm in the end did it? I think they should enjoy doing the tour and get themselves back in contention for election in three years time.'

The Pointeso boss was the first casualty of the new season after ill discipline ruined his sides lofty pre-season hopes after finishing in a lowly nineth position.

# 144 [30 August 2011]

Bayerns, Universo and Tranquilayers all won their penultimate games to set up a grandstand finish on the final game of the season. Sporting Radio Pundit X: ' I can't wait for the Universo and Bayerns match. I think Novia relinquished their crown too easily, but these top three sides. Phew!'

Pundit Y: 'I've already got me seats booked up in the Gods of Universo stadium...there's gonna be a lot of nerves about the place, I can tell ya.'

Pundit X: 'I'll give ya a wave from the commentary box...mind you, lets just say that I've got the ol' pass for the post match party at the ready.'

Pundit Y: 'You're always huntin' for the freebies.'

Pundit X: 'It's called being in the business for a lot of years son. I'm off for a game of golf with the Universo chairperson the next day - don't you worry about that...'

# 143 [29 August 2011]

Bayerns easlity avoided a potential banana skin with a three goals to nil win away to fallen heroes Delta. Bayerns boss: 'We picked up a couple of knocks out there today. We've got a couple of players in for scans so we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed.'

Universo maintained their record breaking season with only one defeat all season. They appeared to move up another gear to flatten Metronova by five goals to nil. Sporting Radio Pundit X:' I think the Metronova players made fools of themselves to be honest. There was a lot of hot air coming from them over the week. all the yapping about the Universo defence looking weak...a load of old tosh. Metronova are almost safe, but on that performance, boy it's gonna be  a sad day when Bombaya fall through the trap door.' 

Tranquilayers kept in touch with an away win over an Athletico side who looked simply abject. Sporting Radio Pundit X: 'The Athletico boss should resign now. That's eight defeats this season...it's not good enough. there are a lot of angry Athletican supporters now. I just didn't see any fight against a weakened Tranquilayers. Some thing has gotta give and they need a marquee signing over the summer.'

# 142 [22 August 2011]

Sporting League: Game 34

Universo kept up their title challenge despite an early scare against relegation threatened Indentine. Universo boss: 'Yeah it was close but we produced the goals when it mattered - so I can't ask for much more. Look, games against the basement clubs at this stage of the season will always be tough as they're fighting for survival. We're still in the race.'

Athletico were involved in an ill tempered affair against their lowly neighbours Chamber Athlete as the ref produced a series of yellow cards before sending off the Chamber Athlete no2 defender.

Tranquilayers dented the hopes of a Green Tree top seven finish with a two goals to nil win. Sporting Radio Pundit X: 'I don't understand why the woods-folks no 1 player didn't come on until the 80th minute. I heard somewhere that they're going to have to offload most of their squad over the summer to balance the ol' books - a bloody shame if you ask me, yeah, a bloody shame.'

# 141 [21 August 2011]

Bayerns continued their strong run in with a run of the mill victory over the tired legs of relegation threatened Metronova...Universo brought back their dynamic duo after their boss controversially rested them in the previous match...and he was proved correct as the University of industry beat Red Star by three goals to nil...Sporting Radio: 'I think Universo certainly have the technical ability of Bayerns and it's now gonna be intriguing to see how they perform in the ol' run in.'  Pundit X: 'I'm still not convinced that Universo have the history to cope with the last couple of games and the pressure that comes with them. I think Bayerns have got a tougher midfield and thats gonna get them the points to win their remaining games.'Indentine won the relegation battle as they beat bottom club Colne by two goals to nil. Sporting Radio pundit L: 'I think it's very difficult to say that Colne are down and out coz they've still got good players down there. For the last few years the press have been talking about Colne goin' down, Colne resigning from the League, but they've got some experience down there.'

# 140 [20 August 2011]

Bayerns served up a platter of three goals to keep their reluctant recipients Indentine inthe relegation zone. Bayerns boss: 'I'm pleased with how our players have done thus far, but now we've entered the business end of the season we need to stand tall and keep putting the pressure on our opponents.'Universo Collunteen kept up the pressure on the leaders after resting two of their big guns in their two goals to nil win over Bombaya. Universo boss: 'Well, as the gaffer, I sometimes need to take a bit of a gamble as that pair have played every game this season and looked as though they were beginning to flag. I'm excited about the run-in and hope we can go that extra yard this time around.' Olby still found themselves within spitting distance of the relegation zone as cool kids Pointeso looked as though their recent nightlfe  ban seemed to pay dividends to an increasingly frustrated fanbase. Pointeso boss: 'I'm very pleased with the way we applied ourselves out there today. Olby are still a top club and can cause anyone a problem on their day.

# 139 [16 August 2011]

Sporting League: Game 31

Bayerns held onto their lead at the top with a convincing four goals to nil win over a flailing Red Star...Underachievers Pointeso were down and out against a sublime Universo...Novia make it look easy against Chamber Athlete...