ARTISTS TALKING

# 31 [7 September 2010]

I just wanted to round off this blog as it has now ran it's course. My residency has ended and I have moved away from Stevenage, as I mentioned in my last post. For this blog, I focused on my studio work and the development of my painting over a 12 month period. I think it has developed, and it is much clearer in my mind what I am doing now. Having been a resident artist too has been a really good experience, and having that time to focus on my work has really helped me, and it came at just the right time. As well as pushing on the development of my work, I got tons of really useful experience in the classroom which was really great.

So now that's all over, what next? Over the last 5 or so years, I knew that at somepoint I would want to do an MA. In my 3rd year at uni, I knew I wasn't ready, I thought at the time that I would spend a year developing my work and then go and do one, but I soon realised that it was too soon and I wasn't ready. I didn't want to waste the MA by doing it too early, and I wanted to explore other opportunities and really try to have some decent eperiences behind me before before going back into education. I remember all the MA discussions on here last year, I think that helped me loads even though I posted no comments, it was good reading. I was kind of sure that for me, it was time to apply last year, and I even did one of those portfolio prep courses, which was expensive, but really useful and helped me loads. At that point I remember trying to convince myself not to bother applying, which in turn made me realise that it was the right time for me to take the plunge, so I did. It seems like an age since I had my interview and got offered a place way back in May. I'm now just getting everything ready and preparing myself and reading and going to degree shows.

Thanks for reading, I will return with a new blog soon.

# 30 [25 August 2010]

It's been just over a month since my last post. I did manage to clear out of my studio. It always takes longer than expected and I always have far too much stuff. I still haven't learned my lessons from past studio moves it would seem. Clearing out the whole space and moving on seems to have cleared my mind too. I also moved out of my house, and once again, I had far too much stuff.

Just before I left, I ran a one day project in a primary school for year 5 kids. It was crazy as there were 28 of them. I had to present my work to them first, which is when I suddenly realised how little these kids were so I kept my explanations quite basic and cheerful. It was a fun day and nice to work with kids that were younger than what I'm used to working with. They were full of energy and it was very tiring, but we had fun and their work looked interesting. I also got to fulfil a lifelong ambition that was to build a cardboard city (which was used as the starting point for out drawings). I'd definately work with primary school kids again.

August has been  a strange month. I managed to see some exhibitions in an attempt to get some inspiration, but I feel quite drained, I haven't really wanted to anything to do with art. I guess after doing a residency and focusing on your work for so long, it does take it out of you a little, and I've found that I need some space away from that until I start my next project in October. I think September will be all about research, reading and moving house again.

# 29 [15 July 2010]

It's been quite a crazy couple of weeks as I've been preparing to move out of my studio as I complete my residency and move away from Stevenage. I can't believe how much stuff I had gathered in my studio over the two years that I've been here, finished work, unfinshed work, abandoned ideas, work by kids from workshops and classes and stuff, loads of random bits of paperwork, books, materials, wood, the list is pretty endless. I've also managed to find lots of daddy long-legs too! It's quite odd seeing such an empty space now, it's a bit like I've emptied my head. It's good to get rid of all the clutter. I've kept what is important, but lots of stuff has been discarded.

I have yet to do some more deconstruction work as I mentioned in my last post, but that's something that I plan to work on over the Summer.

# 28 [29 June 2010]

I've had some of my work displayed around the school recently and as always it's interesting to see the work in a different space, and how each piece of work relates to the next. Some go together quite obviously, and others in more subtle and interesting ways.

This has led me into thinking what direction my work will take next. I have been taking apart older pieces of work and taking things apart. I am interested in things that have failed, or have broken or have fallen apart, and like things that look sorry for themselves. I like what Angela de la Cruz does with her work, but I'm more interested in things that have just failed through their own forces. I've taken a photo of a piece of work half torn from it's stretcher, which contradicts what I've just written, but I find the patterns that the marks on the canvas make intriguing, the pictorial space has changed and the straight lines and grids clash in a different way to which they were originally painted. I was thinking about collapsing structures before, and straight bold lines becoming more liquid and falling into nothingness, and here I have collapsed these painted lines in a different way. I think I'll play with this piece of work and it's stretcher a little more and see what happens.

# 27 [21 June 2010]

Following on from my last post, I thought I'd make a slideshow video clip, so I could see what changes have happened in my work. The clip below goes back a little, from my degree show, and through a couple of wilderness years before it gets more interesting at the 1 minute mark, as that charts the last couple of years during my residency. It's interesting looking back in this way, particularly if you look at the first piece, and then the last. I find it annoying that I jumped back into my comfort zone on several occasions, as the video clip clearly shows. My work was going in one direction, and then I clearly take a step or two back here and there. It's only a selection of my work, and I missed out drawings and models and stuff.

# 26 [17 June 2010]

It has been 5 years since my degree show in Exeter. I remember thinking at the time that I'd definately still be making work in the years to come. Saying it is one thing, and I was pretty clueless back then (and I still am), but I am still making work. I've learned an awful lot in those 5 years, the first three were pretty tough, but the last two have been more productive and I've been a bit more proactive and focused. I remember leaving Exeter and thinking that I'd get a studio and it'll all be great and then I'd go and do an MA after a year or so, but I quickly learned otherwise. I did get that studio, but it took 6 months or so. It was important I guess that I set myself the target of getting a space to work as my number 1 priority, otherwise who knows what would've happened!

Although I'm happy to have kept going when so many of my uni friends have given up, I can't keep going on the way I am. I need to build a sustainable practice, I need to be more proactive in finding opportunities for myself and my work, I need to be brave! I watched 'Mary Queen of Shops' the other day, and Mary Portas went into this bakery in London to help out the business. The silly woman who actually applied for this help was completely dismissive of the help and advice she was given. She was so stuck in her old ways, and it made me think/worry about me in the not too distant future, going nowhere due to staying with what's comfortable. I don't want to let me or my work go that way.

# 25 [9 June 2010]

It's been a while. So I thought I'd catch up with my thoughts and make a post. I've been beavering away on a number of things over the last month. My work has seemed to go in some kind of architectural kind of direction. That may be something that I'll explore over the next few weeks. I was thinking about things collapsing recently, and that goes back to those cardboard structures that I was making a few months ago, that I would leave to fall apart and then draw and various states of deconstruction. I also feel the need to do loads of research too, so that's two things on my immediate to do list.

# 24 [7 May 2010]

It's been a tough week. following on from a very wet weekend by the sea, I had a migraine for a couple of days or so, reducing my week down, and that only served to make me feel drained for the remainder of my studio time. I've generally found this week a struggle though, questioning myself and repeating things from my older work. I keep falling into my own traps it seems. When something isn't working, or rather when I think something isn't working, I look back into what I percieved as being 'successful' in my older work, and then copying myself. I think I'm now doing this without realising it, and it is not a good thing. I need to somehow get out of this cycle.

# 23 [30 April 2010]

I'm still interested in the idea of a recurring shape of series of shapes that can represent a feeling or state of mind moving through the space. I started on another large canvas this week. I wanted this to follow on from the last large piece that I'd completed. Something quite empty and cold.

Through working on this piece, I've found that I'm working with quite a rawness again, I like the way that the paint has bled and the masked off lines aren't tight and neat. I like the rushed and care freeness of what I'm doing here. It kind of seems more confident. It's knowing when to stop though and having the confidence to say 'that's it'. It isn't at the stage yet by any means. I plan to get another two canvases of this size quite far on next week, and then maybe two double layered voile pieces along the same lines the following week, and that'll probably be pretty much it for this project and I'll see where I go from there.

# 22 [22 April 2010]

I mentioned last time that I needed to slow down with my work, and I certainly did, as I haven't blogged for a month. I had a couple of weeks out of the studio, and spent time just putting some kind of resolved looking portfolio together and writing a statement.

Now I'm back at it, I've just been making stretchers, stretching canvas and starting a few new pieces of work. After working on the see through stuff, it's back to canvas, but working in kind of a layered way. I'm thinking about and working with the idea of a shape moving throughout the pictorial space, the same shape repeated in different ways and in different areas maybe. Again, movement between layers and different spaces.