ARTISTS TALKING

# 1 [2 October 2009]

 A ps to start with- these posts will not always be so long..

Finally, after a year of writing, and editing, so many times, the large enveloped arrived, confirmation of the grant from the Arts Council.  Since then (beginning of September) I haven't stopped. 

The driving force has been the children going to nursery and school and I finally have time in my studio to work, but so many ideas have come and gone, my works evolved so much in my head and not in reality, its such a stumbling block.

My intentions are to have a huge intake of stimulus, to sort through it, apply what I chose, experiment, analysis and then re-launch... sounds grand in text, I have to deliver now.

From my work being gallery and retail driven I want to explore the idea of working in a more space-responsive and installation type manner. 

I have no idea how this will look.

I also have too many ideas of ways to go and have, have, have to focus...

Working on the Artsfest installation for the Heart of England Gallery Consortium was a great midway point, inbetween visits.  It went so well, a great confidence boost for my ideas.

So far I've been to Fabrica in Brighton for the end of John Grades cocolithophores Elephant Garden installation.  so so fabulous.  Huge water soluble hanging structures that we all went inside, around and watched and drew.  The we walked with them through the streets at 8 in the morning to the sea and watched them disperse.  This was a wonderful experience, and prompted loads of questions.

Since then I have visited the Hub and Bending the Line, Yorkshire Sculpture Park and John Randal and James Lee Byars, The Harley and the Age of Experence, the Millenium Gallery and Spectacular Craft, The CAA and the Revivalists, and The V and A and Telling Tales.... A lot to sort through.

Next week its Origin, Freize and then Origin again.

Actually, I've been berating myself for not having acheived enough this month, and really, that doesn't sound too bad. 

Spectacular Craft with its sheer scale and intricacy has left a huge impression.  One particular piece by Based Upon in The Revivalists show, and then the whole V and A visit have been very thought provoking.

Particularly the wrought iron work on floor 2 of the V and A.  A lot of them are like drawings hanging in the air, with shadows giving a fairy tale , or spellbound quality.  my ideas are expanding right now.

# 2 [19 October 2009]

Yahoo!  At last have been paid for the Artsfest Installation, got taxed , which they are going to repay, so not completely smooth, but going in the right direction.

Can't believe I finally have this funding set in place, and am still fighting, but this time its against TIME. 

I feel like I spent the entire last year writing, editing, re drafting, editing, writing about what I intended to do, what I needed, and why, and I'm really struggling to fit it all in.

The paperwork side of things was a huge mountain, which I have persevered at, and am on top of, for the next 5 minutes, but my constant time checking:school drop off, pick up, meeting planning, teaching, chase my tail, is unending....

Really, really wanted to enter a piece into the Rugby open, and Leicester open, as a guage for new work for me to see how I felt about them.  I have two weeks...  Not sure how my husband will feel about me taking boxes of materials to Falmouth on holiday next week.  He'll be fine. Not sure they will even fit in the car on top of the everything and the kitchen sink packing mentality usually in force.  Need to get as much done this week as possible.

# 3 [22 October 2009]

Fantastic chat with Vikki from Northampton Uni yesterday.  I've definately got to the point where I need a sounding block, but actually vocalising coherently and not as a babble is hard at the mo.  I have so many ideas and avenues that I'm finding it hard to focus and work out what fits in, and works.  She has suggested I write down my Values, for myself, my family, my community, the wider community, and the world, and then see what fits.  Love this idea. 

I'm playing with pattern and reflections- the accidental is always appealing.  Away in Falmouth for a week, so not making for that time, research in my pocket though.

The Artsfest piece has generated a new community arts project- Story Hats.  I'll be working with a group of children and adults with learning difficulties, making individual hat and a walk-in hat (probably like a wigwam) , ace.

# 4 [13 November 2009]

Right, now I've just (literally, just)discovered my husband is off to Mexico for 3 weeks!  How does that fit into my planning?!  Juggling Hattie(4) and Archie(6), my work, the house and me....  And Christmas!

I really have to start to talk more precisely about my work.  Why do i find that difficult?  I almost wonder if I'm being me, or trying to be someone else.  I need to talk in single sentences about it, rather than a multitude of words jumbled together with no full stop. 

I had the TaP (Textile and Paper group, of which I have just taken on the role of Exhibitions Officer.  It consists of Barbara Fidoe, Jenny Fergusson, Jane Freear-Wyld, Diane Cooke, Lorna Syson, Deb Roberts, Julia O'Connell, Ermine Jackson-Miles) Group round for a meeting about an exhibition at The New Brewery Arts Centre next May, working title Made to Measure, which will be on at the same time as the Stroud International Textiles Event.  After all the organising talk, and coffee and biscuits I took everyone into my workshop.  I was so scared, and in a bizarre way proud.  I love my space, it keeps me going, but explaining my ideas to the group I found excruciating!  But the comments that came back were fab!  And (Archie would really frown that I started a sentence with 'and')  the observations that they all made either confirmed a direction I was thinking of, or offered up a positive suggestion about my next move.  They were great. 

I'm now going to just make and sample to my hearts content, and look over all the info I've been collecting.  I'm looking at light, space, reflections, shadow, drawings in the air, kaleidoscopes, story telling, mirrors, detail, pattern, layers of ideas.

One thing this R and D has somehow achieved so far is that I'm open to using new materials and introducing, shock, horror, not pure textiles in my work.  I really have put limits on my thinking in the past- why? Pigeon hole, pigeon hole.

# 5 [20 November 2009]

Children in Need events and donations delayed me again in getting to studio, and holding me to a double wammy of guilt.  The first that I'm running down the road with Archies donation instead of giving me the promised time of being in the studio at 9, and the second that I'm feeling annoyed with a charity, for goodness sake!

Still cruising after the Michael Brennand Wood talk last week in Birmingham, and meeting Kirsty E Smith- so many coincidences and connections Love it. She's on www.frillipmoolog.co.uk

# 6 [21 December 2009]

 A month plus a day.  That was my last contact.  That was when I last coped it feels like.

My husband is now back from Mexico, and the children have broken up from school, and the festive domestic goddess role is beckoning....

Yesterday I spent the entire day for the first time in the month in the studio.  Feel like me again, full of determination and resolve,  the plan is slotting back into place, and the work is moving forward- both with regards to the research, and the Made to Measure exhibition.

The nervous energy and butterflies are back again.  Wish I could feel calm and inspired, but it always seems to be like a coiled spring. . .  think its a time thing.

Just need more.

# 7 [2 January 2010]

Do love the start of a New Year!

Long list of things to do: finish first sample piece, and hang it- need to get some reactions.

Planning for hats project-2 hats completed- spiders, and plastic coils, and 3 underway- walk-in hat, turban, and faces. 5 more to conjure up.

Planning for lecturing at Nothampton University.

Blurb for Cirencester group TaP show.

Exhibition Officer hat on, need to initiate some more shows for the group.

Workshop here I come.

# 8 [1 February 2010]

A new morning.  I turned 40 on Friday! Not real.  Over the last 4 weeks i have spent the time coping with snow, children, being indoors, and sampling, sampling, sampling.  I have even finished a new piece.  The first in 2 years.  I am so happy.  Just to have completed something, especially with January not being kind to my time.  Am I on a roll?

Not sure how I'm doing with this blog- sometimes it feels like a diary - not having time to post cos I'm so busy doing, but it has definitely kept me on the straight and narrow, focused and keeping my mind on my original proposal for the grant.  It's almost like an appointment I just can't get out of, but actually when i get there is quite enjoyable.

Capitalising on my new momentum, I'm trying to get immersed in making, but am aware I have to still experiment and not get lost in "Finished Pieces."

I now have some ideas for proposals for exhibitions, but really floundering as to how to put them on paper, let alone approach anyone with them. 

Another appointment to make- My arts development officer , Monica.  She is so positive, constructive and demonstrative- love her.  Outside my comfort box here I come- talking about my work.

# 9 [20 March 2010]

Have droppped Toys off at the Herbert in Coventry for the Open , to test the waters.  We'll see, there was a huge queue of people dropping pieces off.  Always feels a bit odd carrying a single piece of work when in my head my work is my studio, and the process, and the journey, not just a single physical piece.  Have to get back out there though, so , we'll see how it goes.

Have signed up to the Warwickshire Artsweek in July to show the results of the research project- all feeling a bit vague at the moment.  My work and thought processes have definately moved forward.  Feel like I need to have more evidence of this though. 

Working on a proposal, and 3 pieces for the the Made to Measure exhibition.  Feeling on top of things, just.

# 10 [20 April 2010]

Really not sure where the time has gone.  Didn't get into the Herbert, knocked the old confidence a bit, as its all new work, but over that now.  Have the impending deadline for Cirencester, then arts weeks, and more opens.  Trying to get the proposal together, narrowing it is taking a while.  Hubbie taking children to Scotland for 4 days next weekend, so I can work.  Four whole days- not had that since... forever.  Not posting taking its toll on my guilt levels, have to get into this again.