ARTISTS TALKING

# 11 [11 February 2010]

Meeting New Artists

I have been introduced to some really interesting artists some have studios at 501 or in the local area others are here just for the New Year holidays. I met Zhou Yumei an installation and performance artist who has a studio in Beijing and we talked to each other about our work (Http://blog.sina.com.cn/zhouyumei). Although there is the obvious language difference the Internet helps to look at images of work and we could understand basic art terms. Mao Yan yang has a studio here at 501 and he paints, Mao has done the residency at the Chinese Arts Centre in Manchester, which I had seen so this gave me some reference to his work (www.maoyanyang.com). He kindly documented my performance and has told me about his experience about temporarily living in Manchester; I hope to interview him after the New Year. I was lucky to meet the artist Ren Qian his practice involves video, photography and performance, when he showed me his work I recognised his ‘Water’ works were he collected bottles of water from different rivers over a period of 10 years. We went to his studio and Chloe and myself interviewed him about his experience of working in London. I was overwhelmed by Ren’s work especially making it over a ten-year period. This has got me thinking about my work and how my pieces are very short and temporary, it seems that durational performance work in China is popular.

All the artists I have met have been very friendly and are eager to hear about my work. I can feel quite shy talking about my work, as I like to just show it rather than talk about it. Yan Yan is eager for me to do an artist talk at the studios which I would like to do but I am worried how much will get lost in translation. Were do I start with my talk? Recently I have turned artist talks into performances, however I feel on this occasion this is not appropriate. Interviewing and talking to the artists here will help me structure my presentation and I will discuss this further with Yan Yan. I feel a little nervous as I am still very much an early career artist and my work has significantly changed since 2007 with more of a focus on performance. The event I plan to have at 501 will be a new experience for me as I have either collaborated with other people or have been part of a group event. I would prefer to do a talk about what I have done rather than discuss my old work, as this will be easier to translate in real time, although Yan Yan thinks I should do the talk at a different time. I’m not so sure I think combining the two would be better and the audience will get more of an understanding about the work.

I have been giving serious thought as to where I will show my work, as I don't feel that the studio is the right space for me. I really like the entrance to the 501 studios and the landing area on the first floor, which my studio is next to. I am drawn to these spaces as they are in-between and dark which is ideal for using lights and my disco ball. A young boy called Dou Dou has been practising playing the piano in the studio and I would like to do a performance with him for my final showing. He plays very well, although I found it more interesting when he tried to remember different melodies, creating a broken soundtrack. Since I have been here, listening to my music has been a great comfort and a motivator to work in the studio and I would like to combine Dou’s piano playing with my own recital of broken western pop songs. My aim is to create an ‘International Performance’, which continues my enquiry into the meaning of the word ‘International’. I have also been developing the Chinese medicine illustration into a moving slideshow with the image sliding across and off the edge of the screen. 

# 12 [19 February 2010]

Happy New Year 

As it has been Chinese New Year I have been away for the past five days visiting Yan Yans family and friends whom have been very hospitable. It has been strange though arriving and working for a week and then being away, although what a wonderful experience to be in China at this time of the year. I have eaten some amazing food, the chicken is very good here and I have tried new foods such as pig’s lip and ear, which is like chewy bacon. In most of the restaurants we have visited in the different places we have been there is usually a big pot simmering away in the middle of the table with lots of stock and spices with a choice of meat and fish. After we have eaten the meat you then add vegetables and along the way drink the soup, which is really tasty. My favourite drink here has been a nutty milk, sometimes peanut last night it was walnut and is normally warmed up and is sweet if a hotpot is too spicy the milk can calm the chilli down in your mouth. In Long Quan Yi I stayed at Yan Yans sisters flat which was really nice and funny as we both couldn't speak each other’s languages so there was a lot of body language and laughter. With not being able to speak Mandarin when we have visited different people sometimes I have felt a bit like a tourist attraction, which can be looked at and not spoken too. At the dinner table if there are more than 4 people I loose track of what is being said and on occasion have felt like I am not there. However all this aside everyone has made me feel very welcome and I wouldn't have changed a thing about my experiences so far.

When we were away I did get to meet and interview Zhou Bin a Live Artist who lives in Chengdu. We visited his studio and when we arrived he set off a belt of firecrackers, which were so loud. We then had tea, which his wife made, and I was fascinated with the process of how she was making it, I can really appreciate the process as art. Yan Yan helped translate for me and I interviewed Zhou about his time in Manchester for the Vital event in 2007 and I got a chance to talk to him about my work. We could see similarities and distinct differences in our work for example durational performance is very popular in Chinese Live Art and using irony and humour are more English traits.

We go back to Chongqing today and I am looking forward to picking up my sound blocking headphones and planning ahead for this performance. During my stay here the Shanghai Expo is being heavily advertised with the strap line, ‘Better Life, Better People’ this also reminds me of the Beijing Olympics slogan ‘One World, One Dream, I find these messages very 'utopian'. Expo has a green theme which I find very contradictory for example what about the pollution which will be created by the traveling participants and visitors, and then what will happen to the site when Expo is finished? I am thinking about incorporating some of these cheesy strap lines into my performance, I could use them in a banner of some sort, maybe on some ribbon. I have found China to be very Chinese lots of places I have been to are very westernized, although China retains a strong identity. There can be no ‘One World, One Dream’ as we are so different which is a good thing, who wants to live in a world of sameness? It would be a pretty boring place.

# 13 [22 February 2010]

Time is slipping away 

So I am now back at the studios and have had a clear out in the space to focus on the objects and the final performance for the end of my residency. I am torn between two spaces the studio and the landing area, the studio is more appealing as it is cleaner and less cluttered although the landing area is more of a risk and I will need more support to install the work. The landing area is a larger space with a higher ceiling which would give the ladder more breathing room but I am not sure how or were to project the video. I feel I want to show both the video and do the performance in the same space and not split the work into different areas. I really need to find more bunting, I know I could try and make it myself but I like to use found objects in my work as this ties in with the place that they are from. When I was waiting for my connecting flight at Hong Kong airport I filmed a plane being prepared it was fascinating to me see how much work goes into this process. I was having a coffee and the window overlooked the area were the plane was and I filmed it by resting my camera on my laptop bag as I didn't have a tripod. As it was being filmed through the glass there is a slight reflection and I have speeded the film up to emphasize the carefully orchestrated performance. The sound on the film is not so good but I may take the sound off and keep it purely visual.

I have found here in Chongqing and on my visits to different places the way people stack, order and display their goods really interesting. When we visited the old town in Chengdu up in the mountains I photographed a gap in-between two buildings were someone had stacked a variety of objects in a particular way. When I took this photograph people wanted to see what I was photographing and I think people thought it was unusual for someone to take a picture of such a thing. Over the New Year period we visited Ren Qian's family and on the ground floor of the property they let the space out to an artist who is a sculptor. I found the way the objects were naturally placed in the space like an art installation and I could imagine seeing this in a gallery. This has got me thinking about context and how we read work as art if it is placed in a gallery or part of an exhibition or event. I showed a young girl Din Din Cat she was 18 and another local artist my work on my website and they found it confusing and difficult to understand it as art. Referring to context beyond the site and placement of art it just revealed to me how, education, travel, social and political influences in our everyday lives effect how we see art.

# 14 [24 February 2010]

New Arrivals for one night only

Since being back from the New Year holidays I have been unwell which has stopped me being able to get into the studio. This has made me feel worried about running out of time to do the things I wanted here. On reflection I feel 4 weeks is too short a time to be here, and I did try to change my plane ticket but this wasn't possible. The sound blocking headphones I ordered didn't work as you can still hear the muffle of people speaking and traffic noise, although I do see the potential of this idea of giving people some peace and quite a project I can develop in the future. With only five days left until my final performance I have started to panic that there isn’t enough time to prepare. This is the shortest time I have had to plan a performance and I have become a bit frustrated with not being able to get some of the materials I need. Not being able to speak the language makes me feel like a child, not being able to fully organize things by myself and having to fully let go of the control and put my trust in other people has been a struggle. We went to a market yesterday and I managed to get my bunting and lots of balloons. I am thinking about getting a cake made which looks a bit like the ladder wrapped in bunting and feed it to all the guests at the show.

We have started to put together a flyer and poster for my performance and decided to go with the title ‘New Arrivals’ which is the message on a sign I bought in Manchester. I have decided to go with the more challenging space out on the landing area as I feel I do have the support here to make this happen. Although today I have had a panic and had a meeting with Chloe and Yan Yan about whether to change the performance space back to the studio, as it is an easier space to manage. Since being here I didn't realize how much talking through ideas is part of my process and how difficult I have found trying to communicate my feelings which I admit can sound a bit scrambled making it even harder for other people to understand me. Then all of a sudden I had 3 helpers arrive and it has been all systems go setting up the piano and the ladder on the landing area. I was a bit taken aback by all the help and again found it difficult to communicate what I wanted to be done. We all muddled through it and I feel much better now seeing the main body of the work in the space before Saturday. The piano is a powerful instrument and echoes through the building and the disco ball really works covering the walls in moving lights. I tested out trying to climb the ladder and get over the top of it, which was a bit tricky it had the desired effect on the people holding it, as they were very worried I might fall.

# 15 [28 February 2010]

Running order for New Arrivals performance

# 16 [1 March 2010]

Post performance review

I was happy with the performance although I did start a few minutes earlier, which I didn't think was a problem as the moment just felt right to start. After the performance I was told that it would have been better to start later although no one had told me this in advance. I guess this is just one of those little details that gets lost in translation, although I liked the fact that lots of people turned up later and had missed the party. Dou Dou played the piano really well particularly when I was climbing the ladder. I did get stuck for a moment when I reached the top, however this just added to the uncertainty as to whether I would get over. The event really looked and felt like a strange leaving party, which has to be the ultimate temporary event. I liked how people were not sure when the performance had started or ended this includes myself for example having my picture taken with lots of people and when we were tidying everything away. I was concerned were the drinks table was placed in the corridor and this seemed to keep people hanging around in that area which kept people further away from the main performance space. However at every opportunity in my performance I would intervene myself in-between the audience and used lots of eye contact. The video of the plane being prepared looked really strong projected large scale onto the wall and retained detailed quality. On the whole I was pleased with the outcome of the event, although there are always things that can be improved.

I was happy to work with Dou Dou, which was a completely unexpected partnership, and I felt that he symbolised the youth of China learning the piano as a means to getting to a better life. I could see similarities in him and myself a young artist trying to get somewhere and the possibility we all face of making it and not making it. The bunting I used I had seen many times here as they are used as New Year decorations and I structured them as if they could pull the ladder over which created a dynamic shape and focus for the performance. The video of the plane and the shopping bags again reflected ideas of literally trying to get somewhere through travel and simply wanting to buy more stuff. The frame for my work was the private view and to use the situation as an excuse for a weird party for myself and to explore ways of engaging the audience with me and the work.

Later on in the evening we went to Zhang Xue Qing’s bar called Bosa Novas, which was in another town, she really talked the place down as this little bar she part owns. It was a large lounge bar with karaoke and VIP rooms and we had a room all to ourselves. We played drinking games and sang a few songs I wish I had my camcorder with me as it is really funny how us regular folk entertain ourselves. In the main bar area there was a lounge band playing and Zhang asked me if I wanted to sing on the stage, I was a bit embarrassed when she asked me as I wanted to make it clear to her that I am not a professional singer. However this was not a problem and she was determined to get me up on the stage to sing, as they like to get foreign people up on stage as they are seen as a novelty. The only song I could remember was ‘It’s Now or Never’ the famous Elvis Presley song. When I got up on the stage the band just looked at me and when I started to sing they struggled to get in synch with my out of tune voice. Eventually near the end of the song we somehow pull it together, what a strange performance.

# 17 [11 March 2010]

Return to Manchester

I returned back to London early Thursday morning after a 12-hour flight, which I slept most of the way through. It was so cold at 7 in the morning and funny to hear London accents again. When I got back to my Mum’s house in Shepperton she was pleased to see me and eager to ask me lots of questions about my trip while I enjoyed a cup of tea and bacon sandwich. The jetlag started to hit me around 3pm and again at 9pm although I did manage to get a good night sleep. I got my return train to Manchester late Friday night and was greeted at Piccadilly train station by my husband. It was strange being back in the warm flat and how the normal everyday things at home didn't feel so normal anymore. I didn't think about what it was going to feel like being back I just thought it would be the same as before I left. It's taken me a few days to settle back into some sort of routine and in some ways it has been like moving in with my husband all over again.

My art head is returning and I am planning a performance for BLOP – Bristol’s Live Art Open Platform event at the Arnolfini­­ at the end of the month for further details on this event please visit this link http://www.arnolfini.org.uk/whatson/live/details/600. I have proposed to sing a few pop songs in areas such as the library, the café and reception as I am interested in how the audience will react to someone singing in an improvised manner in the semi public spaces of the building. I am selecting songs, which make reference to relationships between people in the lyrics, which will create a highly personal soundtrack as if I am singing the song for you. I have put the video from my Bosa Novas, It’s Now or Never performance in China at the lounge Bar on You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xoe0ipe_9FQ and I hope to put my plane video on the website later this week. This is all part of the second half of my Arts Council proposal, which is to share the experience of working in China with a wider audience by using video sharing sites, social networking and artist talks. I need to do some more research on how to share the artist audio interviews and how to edit them together.

# 18 [18 March 2010]

Airports

I have uploaded my plane video on to You Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-oJh8FDmtU which is such an easy website to navigate and manage video content. I am trying to get in contact with fact TV who host video and film work which has been a slow process, I’m just not sure whether anyone can upload videos or whether there is a selection process it’s not clear on their website http://fact.tv/. I keep thinking about the plane video and how this could potentially translate into an installation as the video is best shown large scale so you can see the details within the frame. Airports are such strange places particularly Hong Kong airport which feels like a never-ending labyrinth of corridors with a vast selection of luxury boutiques such as Gucci and Channel, I couldn't help but notice how the more expensive shops were deliberately placed near the International departure lounges. On the evening of my departure they were playing some sort of sophisticated, ambient lullaby music, I find it fascinating how airports are designed from the sound, lighting, soft furnishings and carpets. Waiting for my connecting flight felt like being temporarily suspended from reality, a vacuum within space and time, knowing nobody and nobody knowing me.

My next departure will be Bristol for the BLOP event at the Arnolfini and I have been busy selecting songs to sing in the semi public spaces. I have found it difficult to find songs with relative lyrics and within my voice range. I have been getting the lyrics for the songs from http://www.lyricsmania.com my favourite tracks so far are Absolute Beginners – David Bowie and Ride like the wind – Christopher Cross. I really don't want it to sound too karaoke and have been thinking about ways to blend in with the crowd for example being in the audience at the end of a performance and then start to sing as people are leaving. I could incorporate using isolated stances such as hugging the base of a table/chair, being hidden or even using a prop like a leaflet display unit. As I will be performing up to four times throughout the day I feel that it is important for me to build the work up from discreet to more visually obvious performances, I have thought about hiding in spaces and trying to get people to clap along to one of my songs. As I will be using my ipod to guide me through the lyrics I need an invisible earpiece, which I have been researching on the Internet, I hope to have this ordered by tomorrow. I am really looking forward to the event and the opportunity to meet new artists and see more live art. 

# 19 [31 March 2010]

BLOP event

The Arnolfini is an amazing building and really helped frame the intervention based work. It was nice to see the audience looking around the stairwell and in the foyer areas to see what was going to happen next. For my piece, My Tunes I decided that I did not want to have my performance times published or announced, as I wanted to blend into the crowd and appear as if I was not part of the official programme.

My Tunes, Part 1, Foyer, 11.10

At this time there were not many people around and I started to sing ‘Ride like the wind’ which on reflection is the weakest song, which effected how I was feeling, weak. As the music changed I started to move around the space and as I was singing to the leaflets someone came out of a door. I decided to take my shoes and socks off to add to the strangeness of what I was doing. I peered into the café singing ‘This is the modern way’ and a child sat on the floor looking at me while her dad clapped along. The people in the café kept looking my way and the gallery staff looked confused. I moved to the wall opposite the staircase and sang ‘Don't you want me baby’, putting emphasis on ‘Don’t you want me’ in the direction of passers by, some people walked straight pass me others looked at me and smiled. I moved to the automatic doors at the entrance and sang a few lines to the street again people looked and kept walking by as I turned I started to sing to the glass automatic door which kept sliding sideways at my command. I lent on a column singing to myself holding my shoes and socks and exited down stairs to the basement.

My Tunes, Part 2, Foyer 2/outside toilettes, 2.45

I found this space more interesting as it was in-between two official performance spaces so there were a number of people milling around. The simple act of taking off my socks interested people and they were trying to deliberately ignore me. There was a man hanging outside the toilettes taking photographs of a pretty woman against the white walls he was noticeably irritated by my singing and kept staring at me. I moved to the balcony and sang over it then just turned and posed by hanging out there with my arms stretched out holding the railings and staring through the window opposite me. Occasionally I would look at people but I was really focusing on the music and I started to click my fingers. I moved across the space and stood on the ledge of the window singing and clicking I stepped down and sat on the ledge. There were two young girls one came near me and I started to clap her mum came later she looked a little worried, and kept asking her daughter if she was OK. I moved to the edge of the doorway and sang as loud as I could and the staff kept looking at me from time to time I think they were not sure if I was really performing or not.

My Tunes, Part 3, Foyer, 5.45

I was waiting for the theatre performances to finish so I could start singing and clapping to, ‘Take a bow' but they were running late, which started the nerves going. As the doors opened I sang nervously clapping my hands with my rucksack on, people looked at me and either went for the exit or made their way to the stairs nervously or dismissively looking at me. The more nervous I became the better it got as it clearly made people feel uncomfortable, a little annoyed and a bit sick of this person trying to get their attention in such an un-spectacular way. I felt like a negative magnet pushing people away but I just wouldn't stop and I was going to sing my last two songs even though it felt really uncomfortable.

To see a video clip from this performance please follow this link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJYYR1gPOto).

# 20 [7 April 2010]

Reality of the daily routine

Since being back from China I am really appreciating the time I had there and how I did not have to worry about money and the daily routine. As I work from home it is so easy to get caught up on the Internet, fill out a funding application, putting on a load of washing, and cruising the net for paid work. I did get a cheque in the post from the BLOP event which although was for a small amount still contributed to my travel and amenity costs. I need some paid work and have been looking at shop/cafe work to more unusual jobs such as training as a mobile spray tanner. I really enjoyed working at Paperchase over the Christmas period and I do find the whole customer service experience fascinating so I feel that I am well suited to a retail environment. There were a couple of shops in town I want to apply to so that's what I will be doing today, and tomorrow I will get my glad rags on to hand in the applications in store.

I have had the post show blues a bit after the BLOP event. It seems strange to say but I always forget how raw I feel during and after making the work especially when there are mixed messages in the performance. When I am intervening myself in a public space I feel every look and dismissal which comes my way. The most successful bit of video footage I have got is at the end when I am clapping and singing Take A Bow in the main foyer as the crowd come out of the theatre. It’s funny as at the time I felt this was the weakest performance but on reflection I feel it is the strongest. When I watch the video documentation it makes me feel uncomfortable, as I know it is a stronger piece of work because I am being openly vulnerable and unspectacular which is hard for me to accept that my weakness is my strength. This experience has shown me how important it is for me to have video documentation to reflect on after the event to learn more about the work.