ARTISTS TALKING

# 2 [26 March 2010]

I feel back to square 1 after a year of thinking and working. The real issue is that I am bored, I don't have the drive to do the same stuff because i don't have prospect to sell it, and because it is has stopped being creative. I have all day for myself and I can't put myself down to work. I fanthasize of painting, experimenting new work in ceramics and I know that after the first few attemps I will feel that it is not working, that I can't achieve what I have in my mind, and that I am not a true artist, that my works lacks depth and does have no meaning. I know that a lot of artists feel the same but they plough on, I give up and decide i a m not an artist and I feel I need a job. May be I am just a craft person, but why do I feel this burning desire to paint and to talk about my angst with other artists ? I don't want solutions from others I need to explain myself so i can understand it.

# 1 [10 February 2010]

I find myself in an unusual position of having a lot of time ahead without a definite deadline, optimum chance to develop my work to a new level, and I am paralyzed and can't actually do anything. The studio is frozen, (I work in a shed at the end of the garden), the house is still full of builders still after 6 months. I spend all day escaping, wasting time and feeling frustrated because I have ideas but I am  not putting them into practice. I have done paintings and drawings in my sketchbook, I have developed the thinking and I am not making...

I feel  that if I had a warm studio full of empty space may be I would do it or may be it is just an excuse and I should just get on with it.

Ok my resolution is to do it tomorrow!