ARTISTS TALKING

# 30 [13 December 2010]

Holidays

# 29 [6 December 2010]

The snow has sort of stopped play with college. Tutors being snowed in and all, I've used this time to catch up, what with the interval project and Palance.

But I have been a bit bored too. Gaining that unexpected time, you tend to run around like a chicken with no head, thinking of all the things you've got to do, and doing none of them. I suppose I want that flush of first excitment of a project and be inspired to 'do'. I'm still waiting, waiting for rthe snow to melt.

Next time ...

# 28 [28 November 2010]

The next part of our Professional Practice module is site related drawing. It's time to get all technical. I'm not srue if I'll be any good at this. So far we've had three different assignments/projects, so it's been pretty full on.

First, we had to present a group CV.

Second, we had to present a journey around the local area of college.

Third, we have to use part of the group painting of the journey to create a 3D object.

The last post image is my part of the painting. I was worried about this part as 3D and me just don't mix. I just haven't got the patience or the skills to work that way. So I wasn't looking forward to this and I only had two days to work it out.

Learning from the feedback we received after our first presentation of our group CV, I spent the most of these two days just thinking about the task. Returning to the image, thinking what found materials I could use to represent the different elements in this image. There was industry, the billowing breeze, metallic surfaces, multi-cultural areas, and the chimes. All these elements and more were present within the journey and had to be visible within my 3D object.

10pm the night before the 3D presentation and I had the time to start the making. 11pm, I had finished.

I will post an image of the piece, once I get it back from college. But I was really pleased with what I created. A cylinder piece, with rust brown material, wire, multi-coloured threads, knotted plastic and bells.

I love the piece and it took me no time at all to make.I think this is because, I have learnt now, that the time spent thinking is time well spent. It cuts down on the actual time spent in the making because you have worked everything out in your head before you get to this point. You have tested the pros and cons of each suggestion and are moving towards the final decision by the time you come to the making.

I now know that I will spent more time in my head, working things out. I worry that I'm not producing anything, an outcome so I rush off and start creating stuff. But I'm going to trust my thinking more and also put my fears to rest, as I have proven to myself that I can do 3D.

# 27 [25 November 2010]

# 26 [20 November 2010]

I'm getting a bit worried as I'm well into the degree now, maybe 8 or 9 weeks and I haven't really made any new work yet.

I've talked about it, planned it out in the sketch books, even created proposals for  galleries etc.

But I've still got to create something. I'm worried that the longer I go on with not making anything, the harder it will become to actually making something.

I am worried and the more I worry the harder it becomes. Am I blocked?

# 25 [17 November 2010]

There's nothing like being unwell and lacking energy and will power to do anything, that gets you thinking what is the point of anything?

When you reach a low and are wallowing in that bottomless pit, you allow yourself to think about why you do the things you do? Are they worth the effort and heartache? Do you really want to do them/it?

As you can probably tell, I've been ill and still in a lot of pain. And over these last few days, things have been dark. All my enthusiasm for life has been drained away and it's been a major effort just to get up never mind complete any work.

It was my best friend who said that I take pleasure in being creative. That's how I roll, they said. You have to be creative Sheree, that;s just you. And he is saying this and I;m thinking , yeah right! But at the same time, I'm looking at the bookcase and seeing my books and these are sparking ideas.

I see Strange Fruit, Billie Holiday and I'm thinking of my poetry around women blues/jazz singers and then the performance piece as a blues singer. Then my eyes grace the novels by Joan Riley, about black women growing up and living in the UK and this gets me thinking of a new set of images using the silhouettes, but maybe trying different colours. And before I know it, I'm back on a creative tip and forgetting the way I feel and working out how to find the time to fulfil all my ideas and proposal.

Creativity, it's like a drug cruising through my veins. I can't help the desire, need for it.

# 24 [12 November 2010]

The first part of the module, Professional Practice has finished, in terms of hours at college. The aftermath will continue into the summer term as we try and organise the group show. We will see if it happens.

Now we have moved onto site related drawing and after just one session I'm not sure if I'm going to enjoy it. I'll not go into details as if would be unprofessional but time is an issue       (when isn't it) but when the lack of it is taken as a reflection on yourself, it does make it hard going.

I do have responsibilities and do not shy away from them. I don't ask for any extra time or allowances because of my circumstances. I get the work done, on time, and I get it done well. But if I'm flagging up time issues it's not to get special treatment, I'm just making the comments, so that it's out there.

Anyway, I'm making a concerted effort to journal more visually for the next few weeks. I journal everyday with my morning pages ( after Julia Cameron) but now I want to try and bring some more texture to the pages.

# 23 [3 November 2010]

Back to college now and the week started of at a flying speed. The presentation on a contemporary artist was postponed due to lack of completion by some students. My artist of focus is Jemima Stehli. An interesting artist who works with photography but the processes she uses and the images she creates, creates tensions  within her practice between sculpture, photography, performance and painting.

I'm interested in the way Stehli manages to include the subject/object self within some of her work. By including herself in her work she makes visible the idea that the artist is always present in the work.

# 22 [30 October 2010]

It's been half-term this week. The aim was to get my head around things and to return to college renewed and ready. I;m not sure if I have achieved that but I have ben focusing on my art more. I went to London during the week, managed to get to a few small exhibitions and also see my own work in an exhibition too.

It was weird as I also had to talk about my work at the exhibition. It was liberating to actually talk about my work with no apologies, but with confidence. I got it on video, so once I've uploaded it I'll share it here.

It makes me want to do more, create and share more. But still the same things getting in the way, if not enough time, then not enough money or energy to complete the work. It's a vicious, frustrating circle.

# 21 [23 October 2010]

So the first half-term is over for college. Got a reading week and the time has flown. But it's a good job that we have a break as I am tired. This will be a good time to touch base, never mind read. We've got deadlines galore for each module of this degree so I am trying to keep a handle on things. But with cuts, lecturers threatening to leave, I'm holding off full commitment for the time being. But I am still moving forward, if that makes sense.

Deadlines

1. 2/11 - Oral presentation on Jemima Stehli

2. 4/11 - Critical essay on Martin Creed's show at the Fruitmarket Gallery.

3. 4/11 - Create promotional DVD of work so far.

4. 4/11 - Completion of professional practice first module, sketchbook up to date.

5. 9/11 - Begin workshop essay on image of choice - Julien Issac's Encore (video).

6. 9/11 - Begin research for art history essay on Mondrain.