DEGREES UNEDITED

# 16 [30 June 2009]

De-installing the degree show has taken considerably less time than installing it did.  However, this has meant that I have been able to immerse myself not only in research for my attendance at the Khamseen symposium but also in sending work to exhibitions and trying to find a suitable postgraduate research post.  The Khamseen news was exciting stuff.  I'm feeling pretty nervous about it as I am all too aware that I am not there simply to observe and enjoy, but also to review and hence be open to reviewing! However, the opportunity is most appreciated and with tickets booked for relevant trains, I am ready for whatever the symposium brings.The impending house move is looming large and at the moment it feels that life is even busier than the run up to the degree show was.  I'm not sure I thought that would be possible a mere fortnight ago.

Unfortunately, this mass of activity has meant that I have not been posting as regularly as before but I plan to keep my blog running over the next few months.  So any short absences are simply a reflection of my being busy rather than a reluctance to post!  With that in mind, I am also aware I have not posted degree show photos as yet.  However, the nature of my installation made it nigh impossible to photograph.  I have an HD video recording that I plan to work on later this week and hope to be able to draw some stills from the footage.  So images will arrive at some stage. 

Hope the graduand phase is being kind to everyone.  Haven't the last three years flown???

# 15 [20 June 2009]

The degree show is over.  All of the stress, effort and heartache to have spaces complete, work ready to show and the various set up tasks behind the show are now a distant memory.  However, the show itself is a strange phenomenon.  We build it up into a major event, the culmination of our last three years (in the main, longer for those who have been studying for a PT BA), yet it passes by quickly and seems something of an anticlimax.  Am I alone in feeling this way?  Upon arrival (early) there was a sense of confusion as nobody seemed entirely sure what was expected and indeed what was meant to be happening.  This confusion dissipated by 630pm, halfway through the 3 opening hours of the show, when visitors were at a maximum and discussions of the work presented were in full flow.  However, with no formal opening, no comment from faculty staff whatsoever and a lack of any kind of formality at the event, it was a decidedly understated affair.  Our building is not the easiest to negotiate and by necessity the work was split into five separate areas, none of which lead naturally into each other.  For the adventurous viewer, this can be an exciting challenge of the orienteering variety, if only to negotiate the somewhat confusing (yet accurate) building map.  It can also lead to frustration in those who expect a show to follow a more linear path.  Thought must be spared for the poor almost graduates who have to direct such frustrated creatures towards the work they seek. Abandon patience and courtesy all ye who are annoyed by building layout!!

The work itself seemed to invite comment and provoke responses.  I feel an odd combination of pride and guilt that my installation managed to cause a spate of vomiting in one particularly sensitive vistor....  It certainly seemed to be a work which caused visitors to form strong opinions.  It is causing me a few headaches to ensure it is up and running all week though - I can't help wishing in some respects my work for the show was 2D, or at the very least static and did not require two visits daily - particularly as my clutch cable snapped on the way home last night necessitating a two hour wait on a deserted road for a recovery vehicle and a rather uninspiring game of I-Spy for one in the wee small hours......

# 14 [18 June 2009]

The work was completed on time last Friday - phew!  However, life has been manic since and I have not had time to reflect upon the experience yet or decide how I feel right now.  To put you in the picture, I had an acceptable offer for my house as I walked to my car from the studio on Friday afternoon and by Monday afternoon I had had an offer accepted on one I want to buy in Scotland so it's all systems go with 'real' life outside uni too.  I am going in today to switch off the installations on the sculpture corridor at end of play.  There is a rumour we will know our marks by the degree show tomorrow - not sure where this has originated or how much truth is in it, but I do recall that the students graduating last year were aware of their marks at the degree show.  It was the topic of most of the conversation at that show!  I am now trying to decide how best to document my installation (possibly HD video???).  It is fairly intense and I can't help but feel that any attempts to record it will not come close to the effect that being in the space, surrounded by the projection and the noise, causes in the viewer.  One has told me it made him feel sick (a compliment to a powerful piece rather than disgust I hope!) and another that she felt excited and anxious when in the room alone with it.  I feel good about this work. I feel that I have managed to iron out the issues that were preventing it from working and have produced something interesting and with depth.  I feel strangely sad that it is 'complete' and does not need my ministrations any longer....

# 13 [12 June 2009]

Well, the work had to be completed by 4pm today.  It was.  It has been an exceptionally long, exhilirating, tiring and frustrating week.  I am exhausted.  I will blog properly - and add some photos - tomorrow.  It feels very odd to be apart from my work now and to have deemed it 'finished'.  The show is next Friday.  This is a truly bittersweet time.

# 12 [8 June 2009]

Today is MUCH better!  I feel almost optimistic despite there being a lot still to do in my space.  However, the screen is up and mostly covered in tape.  The projection looks brilliant with all the reflections it throws back from the tape.  It is better than I hoped it would be after the small scale experiments.  I am unsure whether it needs the additional sculptural elements in the space now though.  They may get lost in the theatre of light and sound the screen and projection produce.  To be honest, the fly in the positive ointment today is tutors giving last minute advice/direction.  Especially when each one has a different approach and hence advice which contradicts that of their colleagues.  Perhaps the point is that ultimately this is my degree show and my decision - these late comments are somewhat red herring in nature?  Ultimately, the space and the piece will dictate where this work ends up.  For now, I am going to end on the 'feeling positive' note.  This feeling is epitomised by our lovely techs, Graham, Dave and Dave who have helped me enormously today.  I would be a stressed, quivering wreck without them. They have experienced enough degree show preparations to find that level of hysteria amusing.  I can appreciate that!

# 11 [7 June 2009]

What a DREADFUL day today has been.  The space/work for the degree show has to be completed by 5pm on Friday coming and today has been utterly useless.  Space inaccessible, work all in the space waiting to be placed/hung/completed in situ - ergo, I have been a very big bear with an exceptional headache all day as my stress levels had no practical outlet.  I feel quite despondent and fatalistic today.  Not a positive or pleasant state of mind.  According to facebook, I am not alone in this useless Sunday crisis feeling.....  Somehow, sharing the 'we're all doomed' sensation doesn't help.  What does help is that I have sorted out a minor life/degree show clash that was threatening tomorrow so at least I will be back at the coalface by 915am.  With a bit of luck, I can hijack the technicians first thing and get this screen problem ironed out.  It would be really nice to have stress dreams related to a different aspect of my work now.  I'm beyond the stressed part about the screen dreams, even in the middle of the night that particular problem is getting boring.  Another positive is that I potentially have a willing minion for Wednesday - a friend's girlfriend has offered to come along and help with whatever I still have to get done by then which is absolutely wonderful.  I may not need her assistance but the offer is deeply appreciated and has helped heal my negative thoughts about the nature of art students approaching a degree show date becoming Hobbesian.....  The cries of 'who's taken my gum strip?', 'where's the paint gone from my space?' and other such agonised questions became far too familiar by the end of the week.  It made me appreciate my hard won lock on my studio door on a whole new level!  Maybe this is the slump I have to go through before the final push?  Anyone else out there consumed by doubt and dread?  It's very odd - exhibiting work and having people criticise it has not affected me as much as the knowledge that three years of my life rests upon the contents of this one room in this one particular 'show'.  Hey ho.  On we go.....

# 10 [5 June 2009]

Please excuse the quality of my images today - they are mobile phone specials!  However, it is to give an idea of the sheer amount of grey I have covered in the past few days.  The pictures were taken during the first and second coats so it does look better now, I promise.  It has taken four coats and a lot of Elvis Costello, but the walls are now passably white rather than light grey.  Such a relief!  I have the technicalities of my projection screen worked out now  so the task of building the thing looms but in all I'm feeling pretty positive and looking forward to my degree show experience.  Sadly, it's taking its toll on relationships around the building as tensions run high and boiling points are reached (over small things like gum strip disappearances etc) but I don't believe for one second we are the first year or indeed the only institution to experience such things.  It WILL be alright on the night I'm sure.....  Anyway, keeping this brief today as I have a screen to build and a floor (a HUGE floor) to paint so not a lot of time for online procrastination.  I hope all is going well for everyone else at this stage and that those who are finished are enjoying contemplation of their next step.  Again, I apologise for the quality - or lack thereof - in the attached images.  Must try harder (ie - remember to bring decent camera)....

# 9 [2 June 2009]

After a twelve hour day of painting white emulsion onto dark grey walls (a legacy from a graduate last year who didn't return to paint them over), and a five hour day of the same yesterday, I am shattered! I am also fearful that my nasal passages have been irrevocably damaged from the fumes.  I seem to be tasting and smelling paint constantly.  However, the cavernous space is starting to look like a degree show area and tomorrow I plan to get started on the installation process.  It's an anxious and exciting time - there are a few of us around in the sculpture area and it's a veritable hive of activity.  Watching the work coming together and supporting each other during confidence or technical wobbles makes it feel like a true collaborative effort.  A group of us went to the Newcastle University show last Friday and it made us feel a little down - it is a little disheartening to visit an institution which utilises a stunning facility like the Hatton Gallery for part of its degree show.  That being said, it does make the Newcastle show seem somewhat unbalanced between the students who exhibit in that space and in other locations around the university buildings, so it is not necessarily the professional boon it at first seems. It was good to be able to see what our peers in the region have been working on.  There were several of us living in fear of seeing something too close to our own plans on show.  Luckily, there were no close shaves.  There was some interesting work on display though and we spent a good amount of time viewing and discussing it.  We seem to be in a far more positive collective frame of mind this week.  I hope to feel this positive this time next week.....

# 8 [28 May 2009]

The past week has flown by - clearing studios, trying to ensure that things required for show setup will be in place (electric sockets functional, scaffolding booked etc etc) and of course veiled threats to the second years who were meant to have vacated the studio spaces by last Friday.  Due to the rather large space I have been allocated (which held six second year students in all), the space has been left in a fairly mixed state.  Hence, most of today has involved clearing up leftover pieces of work, detritus and mess.  The technicians have not reached that studio to reconfigure the walls yet so painting them is out of the question as yet.  The sheer scale of the preparatory task is somewhat daunting and I am scouring the corners of my brain for a list of people who may be available, willing, able and ultimately obliging enough to help me at a point where I may be devoid of simple things like reason, humour and rational thought.  I'm off to buy my paint and associated DIY gubbins this weekend so will return next week heavily laden and hoping hard that the walls have been removed/built as required so I can forge ahead....  After a fairly sleepless weekend last week, I submitted my Professional Practice portfolio this Tuesday and am relieved to have it beyond my interfering reach now.  The urge to rewrite, to change and to modify that pesky critical evaluation verged upon a manic desperation.  Perhaps my degree show concerns were being transferred to thewriting required for the portfolio?  No matter, tis now gone and in the hands of the tutors marking it.  To be honest, despite the stress of the time constraints placed upon preparing the show, I am cautiously excited and looking forward to exhibiting my work.  Newcastle University Fine Art Degree Show opens on Friday night and I am looking forward to seeing what my peers there produce - not to mention hoping that nothing there seems too like my own plans!

# 7 [20 May 2009]

OK - there is a mounting feeling of panic now.  I'm not sleeping properly, my head is full of degree show, degree show,degree show - and doubt.  That's never a good bedfellow.Anyway - the biggest worry is the space.  Not the physical space any more, that at least has been resolved.  I am aware of the where!  However, the 'what state' question is as yet unanswered.  One of the current second year occupants may not be reliable in terms of scraping a load of plaster off the floor - a considerable load that said student has put on the floor in the first instance.  I haven't said much about my degree show installation as yet but there is potentially a lot of magnetic tape involved.  My guess is that magnetic tape would love a whack of plaster dust and it would try its best to keep it.....  This would ruin the finish on the tape (which is hugely important) and I am concerned that the student in question has become the Scarlet Pimpernel and cannot be contacted to get things in order asap.....DEEP BREATH!!On the plus side, my lead melting and pouring went extremely well.  Having spoken to my peers, I am also well aware that panic is not my speciality.  We are all practising hard to perfect it it seems.....