Bare Bones

Cleaned out the studio today – always a good feeling (and a good way to put off work – yet again.) Started the soundtrack to another film but the images to lead into it are giving me some trouble.

I discovered when I had to hone the experience into a talk last week, that making film has become a really natural extension of my studio work and hasn’t been as great a leap as I initially imagined it would be. The same processes continue, gathering materials around me, living with them for some time, letting them move naturally into my work. In film, this translates into gathering sound, photographic images, clips of fim, recorded snippets etc while in the studio it’s sketches words, objects and fabrics.

When creating work for an installation, presence has always been as important as absence for me and space becomes an equally integral element, in some cases more so, to work with. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but it seems naturally to have become a significant element when I approach film making as well and seeing how the two dovetail together as far as the making process goes feels right.

Tomorrow night I am desperate to get to the John Hansard gallery talk on Helena Almeida’s work in S’Hampton but babysitters are eluding me – still hopeful though.

The Arts Council report is finished – yeh! The last few lines typed up between listening to three reading homeworks and helping my son produce a three course meal for his scout chef badge – (don’t tell anyone but I helped a fair bit – when we got quizzed by the scout tasting team who arrived later we stood like two criminals in the dock – I denied everything and Samuel kept schtum, I think we got away with it!)

Last night was a screening of my ‘Night Vision’ film among others at Last Friday Shorts at TAP, Southend, curated by Michaela Freeman. After a horrendous drive through the Dartford tunnel – (not a good idea at rush hour on Friday night), I got there in plenty of time.The event was really well put together and I was sorry to have to leave early. An evening of film with three artists talking and open for questions etc.

Michaela contacted me via Axis and, much as I squirm at giving talks, I’m so glad I did. Planning the actual talk and addressing the questions caused me to reflect much more deeply on the process of making the fim than before and drew some really valuable observations out of it. And it only took me half the time to drive back.

Well, apart from the tile adhesive I’ve used on a permanent piece for Swindon hosptial not drying and it being overdue, all is pretty good. Off to our Scottish/Italian friends for dinner tonight – (the combination is a dangerous one, think the Italians love of red wine with the Scots capacity to put it away – too tempting for an Irish girl.)

Sometimes things just work out right – not often, but sometimes. A couple of days ago I posted a question in the know how section of the forums, asking a tricky point of copyright query on a song I wanted to use.

Last night we had a couple I’ve only recently got to know round for dinner and we were discussing what we were up to etc. I told my copyright predicament as Steve has a connection with programming for film making and discovered that his wife Dawn was a consultant for the BBC, specialising in the copyright law of music used in film etc for most of her career – how jammy was that, so got a reply straight from the horses mouth as it were. Result!

I think I must be the biggest put-er off-er alive and the best vehicle for putting off work is this damn blog. So here I am with an update, when what I should be doing is working out a fiercely mathematically challenging angle for a frame and continuing with my ACE activity report. So far I have googled Sandra Bullock at the Razzies, gazed hypnotically at the favourites statistics pie chart on Axis, wondering who the hell is on the blue bit and browsed through 174 opportunites, none of which I can apply for without selling the children, giving up any paid work and living off leaves.

Anyhow, writing the ACE report has made me realise what a different place I am in as far as my work is concerned than I was a year and a half ago. With or without the funding, (although of course we would all plump for the with) the process of planning out research and development, furiously focussing on the justification of every detail, and mapping out a schedule for moving forward positively in my practice has been a huge pain in the ass but (and I don’t know why I’m surprised) paid off immensely. I now feel I know where I am. I have a really clear concept of the work I want to produce and in a way, it feels like there’s a robustly solid directional base to work from. It’s good, and it’s taught me a strategy to work with in the future.

Anyhow, filmaking is being held up at the moment, partly due to a vist from a little friend – and their millions of siblings. Nits are back, and with four long and curly heads to treat repeatedly for the next few weeks, my carpal tunnel has gone into overdrive, some days it is just so hard to be a parent and an artist. Talking to Cathy Wilkes last year, also a parent of young children, even with the success she has had (Turner prize nomination etc) she too has often thought of throwing in the towel. Some days are just tough and unfortunately, the blog is not only a good put-er off-er, but the first place to head when you want to get it off your chest – I just have one imperitive blogging rule, never after the G&T watershed, that would be fatal!

Haven’t had much time to think about my own work as this week is choca with schools projects. I bundled the children into breakfast club on Monday the minute the doors opened with a quick shout of – ‘the gluten free one has had breakfast, the others haven’t’ to be met with the news that breakfast isn’t served on a Monday, oops, kissed all and whizzed off to Swindon to work with the hospital school (making a permanent piece for the children’s unit entrance).

As with all hospital projects, the original proposal bears no resemblance to the final work, due to every conceivable material being rejected by infection control/militant fire officer. We finally settled on plaster so there we were, plaster casting in a tiny room, on the ward, with a beautifully carpeted floor which, due to the rigours of health and safety, could not be covered in any shape or form with sheeting, now – that’s what I call a challenge.

What a priviledge though, to see one ten year old girl, stroll in in her nightie, clutching her side, with the most reluctant and unhappy expression imaginable on her face, an hour later, up to her elbows, mixing plaster, smiling and totally engrossed in her work and shooing the consultant away, who had come to take her for a scan. To share in an experience with those children, which for a few hours, helped them leave all their difficulties aside, was truly precious, – messy and fun.

Back at my regular school job, we wrestled our 12ft dragon sculpture (on a cold, grey day in Feb we thought, what can we build that will be massive and we can paint wild colours on) onto some sheeting on the carpet and managed to involve 30 children in total to paint it without spilling a drop. On leaving I offered my own children an upgrade on their pocket money for the person that picked up the most bits off the floor. They all went crazy and in her excitement Erin ran over the sheet, covered her shoes in red paint then ran twice around the carpeted room for good measure. Another hour cleaning up and a swift G&T later and I was almost human again.

Back to the studio again tomorrow and a day to myself – yeh!