Breaking the shell; A Re-view artist bursary report

Progress or Process?

A mentoring scheme has many facets.

I started the scheme with very clear objectives. Over the course of the scheme, the aims have changed and my directions shifted several times.

I am now a bit more than half way through.

The first part was aiming at writing a proposal for a specific opportunity with support of a professional curator. This process has lead me to question my practice, my goals, my technics and even my drive as an artist, like it did not happen since Uni.

Over years of writing proposal and fnding applications, I have learnt to fit in an agenda, and please my partners. This has transformed my art practice and shaped the way I think and I create

(In a positive and negative ways).

So far ,the mentoring time seems to take me to rethink my relationship with Art before I think of the agenda of the commissioners;I have learnt to suprise myself with ideas in order to surprise and catch the imagination of others.

One month in the scheme and I have not managed to fully write the application due to complications in the process; I initiated a partnerhsip which was withdrawn at last minute; the application seemed to have failed before being even sent.

I learnt to let go, to look into the progress and recylce my ideas and my learning rapidely to turn the situation to my advantage.

I am currently working to recreate the partnership on a more solid base in view of developing a G for A instead.

Always look for the bright side…

On Rejection

I have just had a couple of rejections following proposals for projects /residencies.

As we all know, this is part of the job.

At the start of the mentoring programme, I was advised to buy a book called Resilience, facing down rejection and criticism on the road to success, by Mark Mc Guinness.

I have to say the book has helped a lot, although I thought I knew the process, rejection still hurts and needs taking care of. I have , however, noticed some difference in the way they responded to me in the last two cases;

There was a positive note to the response; I was informed that they were, anyhow, interested in my ideas and were expecting me to keep in touch.

I want to take this as a mark of progress and put it on the fact that i am developing ideas much further since going through the mentoring process.

As well as the rejections, I have also had a few fantastic comments on my ideas and my work and am developing a new body of work related to Walking.

I had been wondering if adding up rejections would break me, create an artist block, get me to get a ” Proper job” or be part of my ride to success.

I still am unsure about what it is doing to me, how damaging and heartbreaking? how inspiring? How much hope and faith do I still have in stock?

To end on a positive note, I have just had my first paper published in the International Journal of Social , political and Community Agenda with Common Ground Publishing.

Hurray!