i spend alot of time looking out the window while i sit and compose my posts.  for the most part the posts are reflective about the last few days or maybe the week.

this morning as i prepare to go back to work at the museum i have some time to sit, watch the world go by, listen to pete tong from last night and attempt to collect recent thoughts about the things that make me feel good even though i don’t really know why.



sound plays a big part in how i enjoy the world around me.  losing the perception of low frequencies in my left ear jolted me and left me isolated from myself before the infection.

over time i’ve accepted this and learnt to appreciate how i hear now.

i’m drawn to creating sound and drawn to doing something with sound.  the snee snaw creates a sound track in response to the actions of the participants and i have found this to be universally enjoyed. so working on another iteration of that work is a really good thing for me.

it does however leave me with a feeling inside of wanting to do something more – something else.

the dilema i have is that hearing is a very defined entity – it follows other actions – and i’m aware that if i were totally deaf this previous statement would read differently.

there’s something in me that walks towards antithesis – it’s deep inside me, can’t explain it – makes me feel good.



i look out the window and wonder if antithesis is an intellectual response to rejection.


so in thinking about something sound / noise / auditory focused i have to stop myself for a moment.  i am aware of the aspect of my personality that rails against aspects of what i believe in in my practice.  in thinking about a potential piece of work – i find myself jumping to the how might i display / share what i’m about to make.

this is an ok thing to ask however i can see how this takes my focus away from the process of listening to the feeling i have about my relationship with sound and no sound.

in a non musical context the no sound aspects of sound help me to form the emotional relationship to what i can hear.

i would like to explore the relationship of no sound through the setting up of something that is experiential – invites it to be interacted with by myself and or others.

to begin with  – note to self – i’m going to find the trust in myself to collect sounds before i know how they will be assembled.  comfort zone challenged = tick.



i feel calm having explored the intellectual aspect of the schema feeling i’ve been experiencing this week.




as well as the sound thing – i’m drawn to code and this week it’s been html + css – i’ve been listening to a feeling about webspace, communicating about performances, wanting to play with timeplacespace.net and move that forward in some way.

i’m in a period of spending time in internet searches researching web design techniques.  this morning i was taking my grid knowledge to the next level of 2d grid – rows and columns.

not sure what i’ll do with the information – i’ve also been spending alot of time window shopping for html templates on themeforest.net

if i were a graphic designer or fashion photographer i would be amicably over catered for in terms of portfolio html templates or wordpress themes.  as i’m a multidisciplinary practitioner with a penchant for diversity of interests i fond there’s no quick solution for me.



i have to add i’m surprised how helpful it fells to have explored my current thoughts and feelings about the two things i’ve shared with you.  the inner unsettlement of feeling has been calmed and i have the benefit of using my writing here in the future in what ever manner might fit.


cue … ” i am what i am ! ” …


funny how writing a title triggers a memory of dragons den – not the start of the post i anticipated so i’ll work to bring it back on track.

amazing day today – from hoovering to going through the contents of the hall and giving it a complete spring clean.

amongst all the stuff we’ve hing onto were the sheets from an ideation for a project some 5 or 6 years ago.  i was proposing a non linear treatment for the transition belper energy decent group.  the then chair person was quite politically active so ultimately we didn’t see eye to eye and the non linear aspect failed to get off the ground.

it was fun at the time and if nothing else it gave us al a good reason to meet in the pub once a month a discuss our ideas further.

i’d kept the paper work from our idea collecting.  it felt so good to admit i loved it at the time and now it was time to let the paperwork go.

i celebrated all the good work with an improvised ploughmans snack and a beer.

once the family has regrouped we’ll put the christmas decorations away and get the hoover out.

it really is getting close to going back to work.


bish bosh bash – work, housework and a reprogamme for the snee snaw ( fore fingers ).  yes i’m not one to sit around too much !

with the snee snaw i did try to adapt the isadora sketch as it stands from 7 years ago.  several crashes suggested to me that starting again will be best practice.

what i have been able to do though is drastically speed up the process as the operational concepts are clearly defined and now noted in my sketch book.  i’m looking forward to continuing the work began today – so much so i might do an hour after tea tonight !


feeling incredibly optimistic and positive i start this blog.   there’s been quite a turnaround from a week ago,  it took some heartfelt conversations and bravery from me.

i’m bolstered by getting a wireless sensor working last night before settling into the last few hours of 2018.  the sensor is part of the next iteration of the snee snaw.  this time around the subtitle is fore fingers.



the new years eve evening we had was so enjoyable – not a massive party – we stayed in and were richly entertained by the radio 2 line up to 9 pm.  from here we started our viewing of killing eve on the iplayer.  i wasn’t too sure about what this was going to be like.  quite quickly it established itself as quite dark yet light hearted with quality characters and great cast to play them.

checking back into radio 2 before midnight we were treated to some quality tunes from the 90’s – leading us up to midnight in a surprising manner.

this morning i had enough of a hangover to know last night was good.




in the last week i’ve looked in the eye some aspects of my past that have been at times holding me back.  in looking at them i’ve accepted they are there and can’t do anything more to me – their hold was purely originating from myself.  by letting go – the holds are gone.

the snee snaw (fore fingers) feels exciting.  it’s taken me a long time to get myself here and it feels great.  i have no idea where this might take me and i feel so up for finding out.


i’m looking forward to the year.

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