the process of reflection sometimes leads me into the realms of personal history.

this weekend i’ve been spending a lot of time in my head as i process the week and the submitting of the dycp application.

on thursday i felt optimistic and amazing, by saturday lunchtime i felt doubtful and uncertain.

the affect of the lockdown and restrictions to where and what we can do has set up me feeling “mah” as my mood orbits through time.


i feel i’m battling something deep within my psyche when i start to think about the development of my practice.  i see the key word there being think.

note to self, try doing more.

however when trying to do more it triggers the anxiety loop ( as i’m now calling it) that leaves me crippled to make or do.

the programme i put together for dycp is one i feel that will really be helpful for me.  the waiting for a funding decision being something that i expect to be universally understood by those who read the blogs here on a-n.

today i’m aware that acknowledging the inner triggering is the beginning of unpicking it.  i accept it will take a while to complete.

in the meantime i will do what i can, make what i can make, work at what i can work at.