‘I was always jealous of his better Christmas presents’
Autism Research Centre October 9th: awake disastrously early – just when you need sleep uninvited ‘fight or flight’ steps in – retime alarms – down to breakfast at eight (it’s always 8 – creature of habits) – out – walk via the pavement spotted last night for a full photographic investigation dodging students on bikes and stares – walk to ARC clutching camera head down ‘looking’ – Intense day follows – multiple conversations – confirming – after lunch settle to manipulate ‘pathway 253’ – break by taking tour round orchard – photograph ‘apples’ in various states as believe it may be important but can’t yet see why – more conversation – homework suggestions – extra photo-re-manipulation – unknowingly I leave later than most. Walk – startled – 3 car shunt on my right, not serious but ‘awful ‘sonic experience’ – home to Hotel – graze – tired but compulsively compare info gathered – start to systemise information – may be too early but earthy compelled need – prescribe music to aid sleep helps to fight off demons
Relentless, with purpose
I move away from you
through, mist and green cold field
a darkness commenced with others
lost to play in the laps of the gods
‘Why take life that has potential’
Autism Research Centre 8th October: Wake early with usual start, dreams vivid and frankly disturbing – attempt to snooze but fail repeatedly – dress eat say goodbyes and head for train before eight – quite apprehensive heading to Cambridge for the first time to stay and work – project has been delayed due to my PTSD revealing itself in the spring and interfering with the way I work – must make a start but don’t want to waste a moment of our allotted budget and opportunity – also for once part is ‘looking inwards’ not only exploring what ‘neuroscientists’ do but what makes me the ‘way I am’ as an accidental element – I don’t like mirrors. Train smooth – underground not bare but usable – daylight train to Cambridge a reminder of previous 2 exploratory trips both mapped for 2012 project – compulsively I document journey in Geoformat. I take taxi to Autism Research Centre for no other reason than access – knee bad. Welcomed warmly we chat waiting for the director – Simon Baron Cohen with whom I have my first meeting – we chat fruitfully looking at work done, access, questions and starting points – I ask a few questions to start the gathering of what may be many ‘puzzle pieces’ – then he introduces me at the following lunchtime meeting to staff – after I have people asking to chat – good start – conversations initiated I gather, obvious and necessary interwoven with ‘unseen treasures’ – all may be useful but I don’t have the pressure to discern or know ‘why’ yet – I absorb suddenly focusing on the word ‘discordant’ – sometimes distracted by the various and relevant musical terms often employed – track them – a trail – a beginning – the rules are look and listen – spoken word glows with an imposed ranking of importance, tasted, touched and recorded as hurried lines on paper to retranslate with others – overwhelmed I leave early for Hotel – way finding notice patterns on pavement which I capture – first time there so hoping it’s OK – aspergers can be a tough task master for ‘safe spaces’ – in and settle reasonably quickly, after unpacking I try to unpick day while sitting in bath – end up working late – literalism – then fall asleep relatively easy.
Revaluing Autistic thinking:
Aspergers Science art residency at the Autism Research Centre. This is the initial post for the start of this project which has directly led on from Look About – a naturally systemisation of my life from November 2010 till early 2013 all to be presented in Geological Metaphor. I write all I do – and the 2012 projects I engage with – this will lead to a map of the Cultural Olympiad in the South East.
I was asked to present at Cheltenham Science Festival last year as part of ‘Exploring the Autistic Mind’ presentation by The Arts Catalyst. During the presentation by Simon Baron Cohen I realised I systemised as a natural process. This affinity to find out more and desire to push my practice further led to an application to Wellcome Trust to create a sonic and visual representation of conversations and investigation into the neuroscience behind aspergers.
This will be blogged on here – as part of the process.