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Unfortunately, on this occasion.

Dear Rob,

Thank you for your interest in our commission but:

I am sorry to write with disappointing news,

but we received a large volume of very high standard submissions,

Whilst we were impressed with your application, the response was overwhelming,

It was a difficult decision to make,

and the jury very much enjoyed considering your ideas

After reviewing a large number of impressive applications,

We considered your application with great interest

and although we felt that your work would be a good choice,

we had enormous interest from artists from England and abroad, so the selection process has been complex,

The panel very much enjoyed seeing your work and we have had the opportunity to consider all the candidates against the criteria we have specified for the project,

But after careful consideration,

We were looking for cohesiveness,

And there was something unique in all the selected submissions, and we would like to thank you again for your detailed and comprehensive submission as well as your patience during what has been an exhausting process of decision making and approval seeking, but unfortunately on this occasion your proposals have not been successful.

We would like to wish you well in all your future endeavours, and hope that you will apply for future commissions….blah blah.

I have accumulated a considerable collection of rejection letters over the years. I now have a world class selection of the highest quality letters. Once, I thought I would save them and display them in an exhibition called Unfortunately on this Occasion. I have gone off that idea now as the frames would cost me £1000’s of pounds, I would be unable to fit them in my car. Van hire would be required.

I did receive one which stood out from all the rest, an astonishing achievement considering the volume of competition. The standards were extremely high and there were many interesting candidates both from England and abroad. The letter I have chosen stood out by its closing line, as follows:

Please also accept my apologies for the delay in letting everyone know – I have been busy getting civilly partnered!
Best wishes
Abcdefg

Well congratulations Abcdefg, I will award you my now annual prize for the best and happiest rejection letter received.


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Discovering Malawi.

Parents Open Day!

We errected the replica school on the village green for maximum impact!

I presented a photograhic diary of the project (not unlike whats in this blog) to the parents showing every stage of the project, power point you know. And I kept thinking of Jack Black in ‘School of Rock’ where he makes a garbled speach to the horified parents of the children he has been teaching.

‘I have touched your kids’ and ‘they have touched me’. But I managed not to say that which was a releif.

Then we went outside in the pissing rain to view the building. It was as if the rain was not there everyone was out there in the mud, talking and queing up to get in. One mother came up to me and said, ‘my son has bought home a piece of wood from this project everyweek and has been in the shed with hammer and nails’. Another said, ‘my daughter comes home and talks about this project’. Thats all you need to hear and my tail was wagging.

A truly great day, but where was the caretaker whose door I fixed when I needed a hand to take it all down by myself in the pouring rain?

AWOL.

Lots of photos for this project on my photobucket site http://s213.photobucket.com/albums

/cc3/robturner/Discovering%20Malawi/


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Discovering Malawi.

I discoverd that I will be presenting this replica school and everything else that has been produced and connected to this project to the parents on open day! I am actually looking forward to it.

I will have to work fast as there is very little time left. I have been chatting instead. I was just chatting to a pupil about an incident when my friend knocked a pot of blue paint off the scaffolding once. She replied that she really liked the lessons on this project. She went on to say that she was able to predict an outcome for her work and was able to continue working all the way up to play time. In other class room lessons she was unable to predict outcomes for her work and could not think of ways to reach her targets. This made her stuck and unable to work at all.

I thought this was very erudite for a primary school pupil.

I also found myself involved with the caretakers door hinge problems. ‘Did I have a screw driver’ …….yes……..’any screws as well’. ‘I know sorry mate, but the other guy’s been in for a fortnight and everythings been moved and I cant find anything’. I ended up fixing the door. I did have a motive for this generosity! I might just need a hand on the open day to construct the school building as the kids wont be around to help me build it.


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Discovering Malawi.

I don’t really feel like making art. I really don’t feel like making art with other people either. But as a professional with obligations and agreements in place you can’t just have ‘an off day’ or two, you have to carry on and complete what you said you would.

Actually I am feeling shite, I have been for three interviews for various jobs recently and have come away with none of them! It made me parallel my work with Beckham’s achilles injury which beckons the end of a career! An over reaction I’m sure, but not a good a good place to be.

I want to rant off because I’m CROSS with bureaucrats unwilling to make a move until all the goals, procedures and desired results for a policy have been mapped out in advance. As a craftsman and artist I think I can problem solve as I go, confident in my abilities to create things as yet unknown, which allows for other people’s ideas and influences to take me places I can’t see yet. You know just be inspired by interesting new stuff.

But this is a risk averse culture we live in and there is less and less space for reckless folk like me to spend public money on whims and unthought through daydreams. My frustration and bitterness makes me see only Public Art that reminds me of dolphins? Smooth, curvey and easy on the eye, made from stainless steel, sometimes with a bit of colour or lights in. A bit cataloguey, but stylishly so.

I shall put my handbag away now and be quiet. I find myself looking at Jean-Michel Basquiat paintings, they are kind of angry and I love them. Here some very young people painting portraits of them selves in the replica school.


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I’m Joining the Resistance?

I am returning to my Discovering Malawi project again now and I walked into the class room after the holiday, and the moment I walked in, one boy walked straight up to me and asked me if I was going to join the resistance?

Who against I asked, ‘the Chinese capitalists, KGB, American troops in Afghanistan or the FBI? Yeh I hate the feds what if’……………………..

‘No No No, the sausage factory! ‘They are going to build one in the 3 meadows in our village.

Now I am party to the secret plans, it appears my role is crucial if the resistance is to have any impact. I have been shown pictures from a book about sea going ships and the one of particular relevance was a large battleship. As a designer I have to draw up our own plans to build something similar, but on a smaller scale. I also have to design explosive bombs to destroy any construction work should things start happening on the site. I am unsure how long I’ve got to do this a few months at least, we also need a skilled welder on the team! I’ve have to attend a meeting next Monday to report the progress and get updated with any further developments.

Another episode from the same day was probably the most powerful on this project so far:

When we were assembling this replica school building we are creating, I was thinking this was a little too heavy for four children because they could not lift this section off the floor, (it was awkward shape rather than a dead weight). I begun thinking I would have to man-handle it into position myself, which was a daunting and formidable task. Then I saw four little finger tips creep under the board and grip, then I saw a pair of shoes…and the boards went as high as a pair of knees, and this kid was lifting and carrying it. Together we aligned it and pushed into place. This is a task I would have really struggled with on my own. The relief I felt was immense, for a sickening moment I thought I had created something that was beyond their abilities.

My doubts unfounded. It was so great when a previous ‘school refuser’ turns out to be a total hero and does one of those Rocky Film moments of true grit.


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