Direction 

The taxi is driving itself into a greyer and darker day. When I reach Rosalind Davis’ studio, I am surprised by how this grey continues; into a shadowed hurry of energy that fills me warm.  Not murky and misplaced like I was feeling in the moving vehicle on the way here.

Inside warmth, with plants growing, all around us, I am quite taken by the feeling of being contained in this space, and being reassured by Davis that all is well and I am as an artist, as well.

Sometimes, as artists, we feel that we should be doing more, must be soaring higher, and the regular funds should be dribbling in. But with warm mug of tea between my hands and discussing all that it is I am doing, I am realising, with Davis emphasising to me, that what it is I am doing is in fact, already a lot.

I am taken by a small framed painting of grey on the wall. Chairs. I am reminded of the futurists. Surrendering objects to the space, and here I feel the same, surrendering the social constructed sense of next steps to instead, the humble beginnings of simply being an artist. The acts of making. Showing. Being taken in. Sometimes, selling.

In this space, I am also having received Support Worker support hours from Access to Work so the daunting feelings of going full time artist are not so daunting, and the reassurance from Davis that I am doing a huge amount of work already, that my four exhibitions this year are many.

She signposts me to names, information she hands to me as if it were tracing paper – I take this paper from her as if seeing it over an image of the artist whose position I long to be in.

Only, when looking at this image, I feel Davis has also handed me a pencil.

I have taken the pencil and I am beginning to draw on the surface of the tracing paper.

And whilst it started out as a premise of this artist, I’m beginning to see already that the lines are twisting and turning into new fabrications, and this is because I am a practicing artist already.

Now, I’m focusing on translating that identity to the public.


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