I don’t know if it just me, but it might be worth saying to other people embarking upon a big project, publicly or self funded: you will need extraordinary personal resources. There isn’t a box on the form for this as such, but maybe there should be.
Enthusiasm, determination, persistence, eternal optimism, energy and positivity are required in order to sustain momentum for the project to run smoothly. Motivation can wane under certain conditions, and then you have to find it from somewhere.
Last week, fuelled by exhaustion, lack of sleep and possibly a dip in iron levels (a recurring issue) my mood has been swinging all over the place from an unnatural squeaky high, involving skipping down half a flight of stairs (regretted later)… to yet another “I’m not worthy” crisis of confidence. Luckily I have people around me who help, whether they know it or not. There are a couple of people close, who know it as it is happening, because I tell them (or I live with them). With other people I fake it to make it, and tell them later. Then they might say “I thought you were being a bit weird!” Hopefully there are other people who don’t even notice. I’ve blown it now then by writing this haven’t I?
I’m writing it because I feel it is important to acknowledge it. No one can sustain the high level of sociable energy required. Studio alone time is a crucial ingredient. Proper home time is important too. Balance in all things.
This week, I’ve been reminded that the gods scoff at our feeble attempts to plan.
The last song should have been simple. We knew what we were doing, how we wanted it, didn’t allow too much time for it because it was simple. But it wasn’t. For some reason it just didn’t seem to go right. It used up an extra session which has subsequently eaten into rehearsal time, which has made me a little twitchy.
On the sewing front, I’ve had this idea sat in the back of my head for weeks, that I’ve avoided starting, because I just knew it was going to be a right pig to do. I’d got a variety of ideas that could work, but didn’t know which would be successful. I had three bras on stand by, a selection of threads, wires, needles, small pointy scissors, wire snips. I had put aside a whole day for experimentation, trial and error, and bad language. I sat down and started. Three hours later it was done. Idea number one worked a treat, all stress and hassle averted!
It’s good to plan, to make effective use of time, to prevent the weeks rushing past without producing anything, but you have to have a contingency, be aware that it can all go awry, and plot in a couple of extra dates just in case. Plan for the plan to fail… Or at least wobble a bit!