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and so i still don't feel like i've done much work recently, and i hate saying that becuase i do work hard i promise. there have been quite a few things getting in the way of me doing work, only being able to cast at certain times being the main one. motivation being one of the others.

and i feel a bit funny today, i think i'm thinking too much about what ive loved and lost. and i found out today that my ex is going on a big uk tour with his band and where are they playing tonight? yup, nottingham. its the second time he's played here since we split up. part of me really isn't bothered but the other part wants to see him becuase we were good friends. and i hate loosing friends. and so loosing friends is never my doing. and thinking about friends too makes me a little sad, becuase in a few months everyone will be leaving, even all my friends from home are moving on, except one or two, and me of course. althought i'm seriously consideringing moving too, i feel a little like i've met everyone in nottingham, which i know is nonsence but i do feel a bit like i'm going round in circles in nottingham as everyone i meet knows everyone i meet anyway. and i'm scared about not making friends when im not a student anymore.


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and i spent all day yesterday casting, i managed to do both my arms, not perfect, but workable. and i was planning to do my head today but things needed to be printed and stuff needs to be bought so i'm going to do it friday instead. and i'm a bit scared. best not to think about it. and i feel a bit like i have so much to do but i'm partually (and yet another word i cant spell!) standing still, i know i need to get moving but i'm so unmotivated, its much easier to sit at a computer and do things, hence why all my written work is done. ish. so i am scared to say the least. but once i cast my head i can work on that and then hopefully feel better about things. i'll have to wait and see i guess.


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