Over the last year or so my practice has evolved more deeply than I thought it would in this time span, my resolve has become granite like and the passion for my work has exploded beyond almost manageable proportions. I think about what I am doing constantly and feel distracted by the thought of what I am doing, what has been – and what could be.
I consider myself very privileged to feel like this about something within my life (people aside)…but there is a downside. A downside maybe that is being forced into an ever sharper focus as the evolution of my work deepens and my thoughts are drawn ever stronger into what I am doing, a constant self inflicted pressure to work. I guess it is partly a discipline that I have imparted upon myself and partly my conscience for some lost years of creativity. Whatever the thought process behind my daily rituals it is sometimes tiring, I sat in my studio this evening and found it difficult to concentrate, a futile attempt to add meaningful progress to work already in the process of coming to life.
I think this is one inherent problem that anyone who practices part time has to deal with – and it’s hard at times, not to keep going – but to be able to stop. I apologise for venting my frustrations so openly but looking at work that is part realised and being too tired to add to it…is deeply unsatisfactory.
I have been toying with the idea of going part time with my day job and concentrating more fully on my endeavours – now more than ever.
A profoundly frustrated artist thanks you as always for reading.