So I feel I should update everyone as I haven’t written in a while.
The main reason I haven’t written is that nothing’s happened, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been able to make it to London to see my mentor at a mutually convenient time, or set up a meeting with the coach.
However, today at 3:30pm I have a skype call with this creative professionals coach that Susan wants me to start seeing. The plan, if she thinks she can help me, if you recall from my last blog, is that we then split my mentor package between the two ladies; so today is called a “Discovery Session”.
What will I discover? I have no idea to be honest what the real difference is between the two but I think Susan thought it was necessary as I am very stressed and also suffering a crisis of confidence.
What I already know is that I am terrified as I have BDD and hate my face and hate photographs and videos featuring my face. Now I know in many ways skype is not that different to being in a room with people (and believe me though I manage it for business meetings it is very hard for me to do that too), but it is on film and how you look is even worse due to lighting and crap camera quality etc and so I cannot deal with it and so I am here in the middle of suffering an absolute crisis and really genuinely terrified of the clock moving forward and my talking to this stranger on skype…. I find it hard enough to skype my own mother and will not even skype a friend or my husband.
I just wanted to share that with you all.