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I really do need to be offered an income for my work now, it’s beyond ridiculous that 9 months from my initial cry for help no one seems to be capable of preventing me from falling over the edge into fiscal ruin.

An envelope with ACE logo dropped though the letterbox and sat for a couple of days unopened.

Another failed funding attempt. And apparently, Hackspace have sabotaged the free space we have use of. They put their foot in with the council, so as I’ve been planning to continue with exhibitions and events, I’ve been warned that we may have to pay to use a derelict space. If that happens, we won’t be able to use it. So let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

I spent a couple of days applying for work in the University library, but when I mention this, already there are those that are putting me down. “Loads of people apply for those kinds of jobs”. People seem determined to do nothing but bring me down. Don’t get any grand ideas, Helen, you don’t deserve to get anywhere in life.

I used to be so determined, so defiant, I would oppose all of this oppression, discrimination, and be successful, but I’m just getting nothing but negativity and bad luck at every turn.

And I’m starting to think it’s because I’m honest about being a single parent. I feel like Oliver bloody Twist. Constantly humbly asking merely to be paid, and the answer is always “No”.

I need a paid salary asap. It’d solve everything. But it doesn’t mean I’ll get what I really need.


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Ahhh, such a lovely holiday I’m enjoying, if that’s what you call spending nearly a hundred quid on new school uniform, and looking wistfully at travel to Denmark, wishing I could go somewhere, even just a weekend away somewhere, but not having any money to spare.

I’ve been taking time out to take part in social bike rides, which I hope might develop into art-related bike rides when I can think clearly again from Sept onwards.

I also received feedback for my recent unsuccessful job application, I probably need more qualifications, and I’m still gutted that I’m considered successful as an artist, even though I genuinely don’t think that not earning a regular income from this work is in any way successful. I know there are many blogs that say otherwise, but I decided to do this as my livelihood, and until I’m earning a living wage from it, I consider it a failure.

Meanwhile, I have spent a couple of weeks creating a Kickstarter pitch for my graphic novel. It has been live for a few days, and has already received 3 backers – illustration works for me somehow…

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/297268149/clou…


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