As an artist in my forties (and in reasonable health) it didn’t occur to me that serious illness could blight my painting practice.  Mental Health issues  have always effected my Professional Practice as long as I have been an artist (suffering from OCD, anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember) but, eye  and vision complications never ever crossed my mind.

December 2017 changed everything.

I went up to the emergency eye clinic at  Sheffield Hallamshire Hospital a few days before Christmas with what I thought was a chronic migraine aura.  Investigations determined my eye was swollen at the back, initially thought to be Optic Neuritis .  The staff at the Eye Clinic and Neurology Department  were absolutely brilliant and they were so thorough in their tests.   However, I will never forget the abject fear when the nurse said the back of the eye was extremely swollen – as I had no pain what so ever!    The shock that my vision was theoretically under threat petrified me.  I had a swollen Optic Disc (damage to the optic nerves/disc that feed the visual information through your eyes into your brain).   At 7:30pm on  Xmas Eve I was in an MRI Scan being tested for Multiple Sclerosis (MS) .   Emotions were running high, and in the scanner I thought will I be able to see my husband, dog and family in a few weeks? Would it be possible to ever paint again or see wonderful exhibitions. My thoughts raced around the two Howard Hodgkin exhibitions I’d seen in 2017 – would that be possible by the New Year??

Would I ever witness a sunset again – a recurring theme in Howard Hodgkin’s work.  A gallery visit suddenly seemed unimaginable – all my favourite art pieces at  various galleries; Turner, Gainsborough, Hodgkin, Hepworth, O’Keeffe, Richter, Moore, Rego and Van Gogh all raced through my mind…..and of course, would I be able to see to paint again???

Progress 

Six months on and I’ve been cleared of MS and a number of other very frightening conditions – thank goodness!  I count my blessings every day and it truly has changed my approach to life.  The act of looking around me has become a new discovery – like a child seeing a new world.  I notice little everyday things that would have passed me by previously.  The joy of looking gives me an amazing buzz!  My left eye has started to recover, clear and my vision in it is gradually returning (luckily my right eye was never effected).   Sheffield Eye Clinic conclude  it will probably fully recover in time, they believe it could have been due to extreme Hypertension (now under control).  The staff at The Hallamshire, have/are incredible and  I will never forget how quickly Eye Clinic and Neurology reacted, thus saving my vision from further damage.

My Road to Damascus

But, I feel so incredibly lucky to still be seeing and feel the journey has been/continues to be my ‘Road to Damascus’ moment.  It has completely changed my outlook on life.  A stone lighter, a new healthy lifestyle including running and I’m finally writing this Blog in my attic studio!!!   I’ve started drawing and sketching again and am observing in a new intensity.

However, I’m still under investigation for a number of auto immune conditions and I take each day at a time.  This Blog is my new way forward on how I approach my work.   I am enjoying everyday life so much more and new creative thought processes ignite my imagination.  I am looking forward to exhibitions, collaborations and finally doing the one thing I love, simply – looking, observing, experimenting, sketching and most importantly…………painting.

 

 


1 Comment