Weird day.
Probably shouldn’t post on a weird day, in case I say something I later regret. But I’m going to give it a go anyway.
I have angst.
I am in the midst of a crisis of confidence.
I should have known really, you can’t keep riding the crest forever, the slump always happens. There is always some sort of payback I find.
The high has lasted a while though… I can track it back to the last slump…
January to March = job related slump
April to July = New York, resignation, work exhibited across the UK (Kent, Liverpool, and closer to home too) freedom related high, I absolutely know for certain that I am Brilliant Artist.
August to whenever = Feeling worthlessness and uselessness of work, will never earn any money ever again.
Also August to whenever = I have a big idea, but the slump is rendering me mentally incapable of doing anything about it. And I also doubt it’s a very good idea anyway.
In rational moments, I know that this is a cycle, it will all be ok in the end.
In irrational moments, I scan the local paper for jobs at Aldi.
The slump is physical as well as mental. I slump in this chair, uncomfortable but can’t be bothered to move. Blaaaah……..
