Try Not To Freak Out (2018) Acrylic on canvas, Bec Broomhall
Mood: Lethargic, just after lunch with a stack of things still left to do..plus the gym later..
Listening To: Audiobook: ‘Alone’ by Lisa Gardner
So it’s been over a month and not a sniff from me on this blog…I’ve kept thinking about it, but just not either had time or put other things first. It’s been a very busy month and a half, with a group show at our studios, still working (volunteering) at my local handmade shop, mentoring and helping a student, getting prints and cards ready for some new stockists and also I’ve had a few days away in Wales – and came back about a week ago. So I’ve literally had to schedule a time to blog! Which is not bad thing – as I want to keep this blog going and want it to be a part of my practice, my working week and schedule. I also really love writing and can feel a sense of clarity, breathing space and refreshment when I write. And also if this blog can help others then that would be the greatest thing.
So way back in my last post I talked about having a meeting with my own mentor Dean, and how we were going to be doing some exercises to plan out the steps of my journey in achieving my goal of a successful business. I did meet up with him toward the end of April and the exercise we did was called ‘Stepping Out’ and planned all the stages and steps I needed to take to achieve my goals. This was an amazing session, I came back buzzing. It was one of the most brilliant things I’ve ever done in terms of self development and seeing a clear path of where I need to go. Without going into too much depth, some of the first things we decided I needed to do was to contact an artist that is further ahead in their business than I am, figure out any other people who I can ask for help, research doing a mural somewhere (as this is one of the things I’d like to do), do a talk/pecha kucha somewhere, get a creative job..and a few other things to complete Stage One of my progress.
However during that time and around a week later was our group show at our studios, which during the run up to I was working madly on getting paintings finished – because me being me – was taking this exposure and exhibition very seriously! And then since then it’s just been a lot of different things that have been happening. For instance, I have managed to get my work into a stand at the University of Wolverhampton where they represent students and Alumni called Made In Wolves, and so have been getting prints and some work finished for this, and have also been mentoring a student once a week – which has resulted in a lot of extra hours typing notes up and doing other things to help. Among many other things that have been happening to eat up my time. Overall, since the meeting with Dean, everything has been very busy and I have not had the time to put the hours of research in. However I do feel things have been progressing slowly all the same.
I feel my work is progressing – I feel really happy in the work I’m now producing and and I feel my future is hopefully starting to take shape. I am now thinking it will involve working as a full time artist making art..but also doing mentoring as well as talks to help other creatives – at the moment I’m thinking I’d really love to teach what I have learned so far in art and business through doing talks, but also teach fundamental skills such as editing images/software etc, portfolios, art student mentoring and academic writing skills – there are quite a few things I know that I can do that would be beneficial to others I think. Not to mention talking about my journey so far – which I think would also help others. I am going to try and find a creative job like this and will email the university to see if they have any mentoring spaces for students in September.
Procrastination, Planning & Psychology:
However I do feel annoyed at myself for not getting the research done; I do feel I have been playing the Master Procrastinator again, just doing other ‘busy work’ to fill up time when I should be putting the hours in researching the things I need to know. I feel things ARE moving – however extremely slowly and things could be moving at a much faster pace if I just applied myself. However there is Literally so much I have to research – I’m finding it difficult to map it all out in terms of when and where I will do it – this will be in depth research, looking up and getting in contact with people – not just reading other “art experts’ ” blogs.
However I think it’s also very psychological; I’ve been stuck at home for years with my parents, trying to make a go of it as an artist, and consequently a big part of me is putting up Massive Resistance to change. Part of me wants to stay at home in this limbo of neither moving forwards or backwards, having small victories of commissions and little shows, and work at a handmade shop that doesn’t earn much – a comfort zone of nothing to stressful or no way of making a fool of myself. And I understand that our minds – the beings that we are – strive to protect us from being hurt or suffering, or changing, and that’s where this Resistance to progress and improvement comes from. But this Fear and resistance will only ever keep you in the same place forever. I also don’t want to change as a person through progress, I want to remain humble and an inspirational and helpful to others. So I think we have to talk to this part of ourselves, and convince our subconscious that it is ok to move forward. This is unfortunately very hard however!
I aim aiming over the next few weeks to get stuck into the research and talk to the artists I need to, as well as start some new work and build up my portfolio of new paintings. I am aiming to now to post on here each week talking about my progress and any other issues, as it will help me as well as hopefully help others.
Thankyou for reading my ramblings – comments and feedback are welcome as always. You can also now view my new website and new work at www.becbroomhall.co.uk – much work yet to do, however the new work is now out there!