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SWIM-VIDEO

Have had several attempts to edit the footage we made. It turned out to be too much like a holiday video so must make it more relevant to my Degree… Went back to the previous idea of using video of some of the actual paintings I made on watery themes interspersed with swimming and water shots.

An improvement but still needs work. Staying in Ipswich for 3 days so that I can have a sustained period of painting.Have been looking again at Joan Eardley . There is an exhibition at Portland Gallery in May on her work. Must get to see that.


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WHERE NEXT???

Suddenly aware that my work has been static for too long this term. I’ve been absorbed with one painting…with getting it ‘right’.

Must move on. Thinking back to my dissertation, I’ve been in ‘Aesthetically experimental mode’. Need to move towards the ‘conceptual’. Ideas, thoughts rather than just plodding along in the same line.

But where to go??? Started doodling in my sketch book, looking at found objects from the beach. The death of Maggie Thatcher is plastered everywhere. I remember that era so well. The year she was ousted was my worst ever year too. Divorce, Jo’s car crash … a real breakdown year. But I don’t want to reminisce on all that.

Forward is the only way to go. But WHERE???

Am doing some more underwater videoing today .Maybe that will inspire???


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ANTIBES PAINTING

Trying my paintings in the landing/corridor space which has been allocated for the Degree Show made a huge difference to the way I viewed them. The Antibes painting changed dramatically. It needed air around it. It’s been trapped in the claustrophobic studio space.

Seeing it higher up, made me aware of the lack of tonal contrast. Areas of colour needed to be fused into larger spaces. Arriving very early on Thursday morning I mixed 3 large pots of colour and adjusted the tones sharply with large brushes creating less detail; delineated some of these shapes with vermillion lines. It now has less relevance to the suicide and more to the place itself.

Am happier with the result. I want it to stand alone and not be overwhelmed by it’s surroundings. I must be careful about the choice of other work nearby.

OTHER THINGS

I just reread bits of my blog. will try to redress the balance. Most of the blog’s been about what I’m doing not thinking… too long to organise thoughts into a cohesive sequence. .. probably why I haven’t tried. So? What to do??? just ramble on and if it doesn’t make sense too bad.

Often lie awake worrying about if I’ll have enough life left to do everything I plan in my head. Can’t sleep. Get up. make tea & toast. go on the computer selecting pictures, making plans. go back to bed. plan a video . plan a painting… pins & needled in my hands, will I still be able to paint in 5 years time? I didn’t write about the London visit…. Iwanted to spend longer soaking up the image of Yo Picasso!! those black, black eyes… I’ve lost my taste for Manet… only that stunning portrait of Berthe Morisot reached me, the rest was dreary,,, no that’s too harsh but I’ve seen better shows.

Wednesday … a good day… Matt helped me with the installation. We decided to project onto the ceiling AND walls. need to shoot more underwater clips… it’s going to be good… completley engulfing people as they enter the black space…I still want to include real water somehow…Josh has set me thinking about that again.. there must be a way???will experiment.

Robin’s portrait session 6 – 8.. tired but as soon as I started drawing.. got a second wind… such a good model..makes such a difference …wonderful bone structure…enjoyed drawing..it’s like breathing..totally absorbing..why don’t I just draw???

Thursday invited to Stoke-by Nayland Middle school.. first ever teaching post back in the 70’s!! farewell concert as school closing in July …why can’t the gov. leave education alone?? children’s voices.. so talented.. cried of course.. think most of us did. those beautiful, confident kids ..lives ahead of them…running out of time.. thoughts of death AGAIN. but a quote on the screen .. Einstein .. something like ..’no sadness at the end or when you say goodbye, just joy at having been there and been alive’… dam, I can’t remember it all .. but the sentiment’s good and profound…why am I bothered about painting better, getting a Degree? Lifes nearly over but it still matters.. the excitement of learning, discovering never ceases.. enjoyed talking to the present art teacher at Stoke, hearing what previous colleagues are doing NOW … this was so much more inspiring than reminiscing about the past..

That’s enough for now. Am going to make a power-point now.


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1. Well at ast I’ve managed to post a video …..’with a little help from a friend’ Thanks Josh !!!! Actually tried again but needed more help from Hannah & Sophie this time!!

Finally SUCCESS. CLIP ADDED UNAIDED!!! this time. THANKS EVERYBODY !!!!!!!!!

This final clip is of last years video installation showing Kate whizzing around on her heelies(trainers with wheels in ) that plus slowing the video sort of created the feeling of swimming under water. I hope my new installation will make this feeling even stronger – really being immersed in water. Watch this space!!!


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VIDEOS

I’ve spent ages making videos. Am becoming addicted. Still can’t work out how to add a video to my blog…really annoying!!!

REVISED PAINTING

The painting here has been left for ages and then last week I suddenly felt I knew how to complete it. Can’t really explain but I think it’s finished now.

MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS

I have a 50 – 70 minute drive to uni .. depends on the traffic. It’s a good space in which to think.

I often find my thoughts drift to my brother.. I wonder what he’d make of me nearing the end of my degree. He promised to come to my Degree Show. I hear his voice, know what he’d be saying and it brings tears to my eyes.

I’m so excited by what I’m doing at the moment.

When you’re young there are so many concerns, distractions. Falling in love, relationships, children, parents. How often you hear people, especially women saying, ‘that their children are their greatest achievement’ And so often, they are. My own children are my greatest joy. But they have their own lives, their own agendas;It’s important to avoid living vicariously through them – a trap so many people fall into. You never stop worrying about them or loving them unconditionally but at some stage you have to let go and to live your own life to the full. You don’t get a second chance.

I think it’s taken me till 2010 to be able to truly do this. Some people never even reach this stage. Others get there much too soon; which is far worse !

This has been one of my random thoughts this week. Discovering that I can make a video has been amazing. The sky’s the limit now. Next I’m going to master the paintings which are living in my head. I’m going to leave a legacy…. just as I discussed in my dissertation about ‘late phase art’. Why not ????


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