out of the window this morning i see a flat monochrome sky.
in front of it a flat green tree and flat brown bricked buildings.
my cup of tea is empty and the puppy is pressed against my right leg. i spend some time to look at the green tree and remember our recently departed beloved dog maybe.
she was 14 and the time had come for her to leave us. the past week has proven to be a difficult one. messages we’ve received have helped us to remember what a wonderful dog she was. for me she made space and i felt really happy to be out with her, proud to be the man who was with her.
tears swell and create new paths across my face. i sniff a little and caress the puppy’s head.
it feels good to cry. to be connected to the emotion and not afraid to let it show. i’ve learnt that this process is good for me as it does lead to a calmer more centred emotionally relaxed place.
my emotional self is levelling out now after speaking of maybe and soon i’ll return to thinking about my practice. before this though a quick blurt about general election.
already in the first few days there has been much written about the event in the mainstream media and i expect theres vast amount of new writing still to come. personally i look at the political process and despair at it. i find myself looking up to articulate, educated intellectual individuals whose public conduct and professional pride belittle the importance of the process they are involved with. i don’t know this to be fact of the individuals, merely my own position relative to them.
so to make things a little more exciting…what if the political tv debate process was modelled on this?
now i begin to smile.
when i re-iterated my website this year i made sure there’s a place for me to be playful. being playful really helps me to push through the bad times.
time to focus .. to practice.
hang on though….
i’ve had something really good this week ! after two rounds …. i’m 12th in the moto gp fantasy league game. in three years it’s the highest position i’ve held. all the trying and practicing paying off with progress and a being in a better place.
i’ve starting playing with drawing machines. digital for now with aspirations for something analogue too. the resonate frequencies within each drawing loosely talking about resonate emotion around loss
i reach for my newly filled cup of tea, sip, swallow and smile. memories of good things in the past and expectations of the future.