ARTISTS TALKING

# 93 [13 January 2012]

Gosh, haven't blogged on here since the beginning of December!

By mid Dec the kids were off school, so I was forced to take time out to play hostess to my Mum and brother for Christmas. I can't say I envy all of you on here that have been blogging right up and over Christmas - do you never give yourselves a break??!!

Refreshed for 2012, I blogged here: http://helend-blackbird.blogspot.com/ about collaborations with Apparatjik.

I've made a few remixes in my initiation into becoming a pop/rock star (!) my favourite is probably Don't Eat Brian Sewell's Banana, which is less of a song and more of a sort of art critique:

http://soundcloud.com/apparatjik/00029-dont-eat-br...

Yesterday I re-edited this to reflect some news about Velvet Underground suing Warhol http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/11/warhol-foundation-in-bana_n_1200180.html but Apparatjik haven't uploaded any new tracks yet. 

For Christmas, someone bought me one of those crystal kits, with little cardboard Nordic pines and solution to grow crystals. This is forming part of the animation, but my printer seems to get through a lot of printing ink to print the starry sky for the set. i want it to be absolutely perfect before I even begin to animate anything, otherwise if I change something it'll look wrong. And not in a nice William Kentridge fashion - it'll just look Wrong.

Kurt (son) has a new laptop (from Santa!) and has put After Effects on it, so I hope to put the animation together using that, but am starting to wonder if I'll manage to get enything even started (let alone finished) before the deadline, but plan to use one of my Apparatjik songs as the soundtrack.

It'll effectively become a music video :-)

Meanwhile, my youngest son is finally being converted into a mad artist! He used to say he wasn't a mad artist like me, but the other teatime he illuminated his kinetic wooden flag sculpture that he made in Design Tech with a bike light and videoed it along with sounds played with a stylophone.

I did not teach him to do that, he's been annoyingly watching what I do and copying me. I should be paid the salary of a teacher, but I do not earn anything from these kinds of things, so I try my best to discourage him. 

# 92 [1 December 2011]

Last week I went to Nottingham to attend the AIRInsights event at Surface gallery, hosted by Rosalind Davies and Helen Jones from Walsall, who curated my degree show back in 2008.

Lots of insights into approaching curators, and developing relationships between artists and curators, commissioning work etc.

As it happens I've been applying secretly for Bend In The River at Gainsborough. This was the proposal I was putting together. I applied just after I graduated for work that I now realise really wouldn't suit the location. Since then I've been to see Roy Pearce's work there, and have been to several exhibitions at Bend In The River, met the curators and artists, I met the lovely Claudia Pilsl not so long ago, so I've gotten to know the kind of work exhibited and the spaces. I never knew how my work could respond to that unique location, but I've realised that it does. Fingers crossed I get that commission this time.

I got up early on Thursday morning to meet up to look around an empty shop space in the centre of Lincoln, which is outlined as a skillshare space with Lincolnshire Co-op. The Co-op are running the space and are having a cafe and workshops there, and I was hoping there'd be space for us to use on a regular basis, although this seems somewhat more limited to what I had in mind for Lincoln Artists' Network. However, it's an exciting prospect, especially as it won't cost us anything other than a percentage towards overheads, and we won't have to worry about all the insurance etc, because the Co-op will deal with that.

It's not likely to be available until the new year now.

All of a sudden there was some excitement about some new studio spaces in Lincoln. An article I read by Susan Jones about how a majority of artists are giving up studios sat there glaringly in my mind's eye. I prefer to hide away and work in my studio at home, especially when I get no reply from emails to these people, and once our Empty Shop space gets going, we won't need to charge artists as much, which will be a bonus. 

Yesterday was another busy networking day, an EMVAN meeting that started off well... but it ended up becoming difficult to be heard, then I bumped into Jack Hutchinson on a lunch break before taking part in Lincoln's first AIRtime event.

I was glad to receive some positive feedback from Catherine Burge, especially about the possibility for the empty shops space, then really enjoyed talking to students and gaining support for the Cash For The Community fundraising efforts!! 

In between all of this, I was offered a stall at the Indoor Market for the Christmas Market, in lieu of the empty shop not being quite ready yet, so I'm using this as an opportunity to promote the Cash For The Community, sell illustrated cards and some of my limited edition comics with fellow artists. I never make as much money as I'd like at markets, but it's worth being involved in the Christmas Market for networking and spending a day chatting to interesting folk, I managed to negotiate the stall for free, so can't really lose.

Yesterday the kids were off school on strike, and a lack of sleep the past couple of nights means I spent a day making proper Norwegian pepperkaker for gingerbread houses. I bought some shop ones from BHS last year and they were awful!!! Looked lovely, but tasted horrible. Proper pepperkaker is more-ish! If they turn out well I'll sell some at the market! If not, the boys will eat them!!! 

# 91 [15 November 2011]

All of a sudden things have become very busy!

I've been in touch with Rosanna from Manchester Artist's Bonfire, and have agreed to support this with an inaugural Artist's Bonfire in Lincoln via Lincoln Artist's Network. I have support from the University for this so hopefully students will be involved as well, and as I'm awaiting confirmation of a venue for Empty Shops projects, this space might not be ideal to be burning things in! Manchester artists have organised theirs at Islington Mill, but Rosanna will send more information about organising this soon.

I was having funding worries. I can apply for local arts funding, but the deadline isn't until March 2012, so that's no good for anything I want to do from now onwards. I was thinking of applying to the Arts Council again, for LAN projects, but need to do lots of research first and secure some match funding. This I've started by the Cash For The Community Fund. It all seems to take time just to be able to do anything, and I don't know any other profession where your wages are some kind of lottery as to whether you can get paid to work!!

The Cash For The Community Fund means that the more people that support this, the more money we'll achieve. Yesterday I organised a coffee morning at a nearby church that has been renovated and has facilities for the community. They have a business networking event this week, so I'm tagging onto that in the hope to gain support from people. 

My own work seems to have taken a bit of a back seat at the moment, but I'm still applying for things relating to that as well.

# 90 [1 November 2011]

My efforts at trying to have some kind of break for half term have been disrupted by accidentally getting involved in Frequency Festival events. This has been quite challenging considering Orange have completely cut off my mobile phone service, so no one can contact me when I'm out and about. Aside from the fact that I have to be able to be in contact with the kids if I go to do something without them, it seems particularly evil of Orange to make me go analogue during the Digital Arts Festival, but I'm not letting them get to me while I battle against their Mammon.

And I wasn't sure whether I was there in my capacity as an artist or audience. As I wasn't supposed to be working, I guess I'd have to put myself in the "audience" capacity.

On Saturday, Barry set up Ilana Reins' "We Are Cylons" videohttp://frequency.org.uk/format/artists/ilana-rein which I could relate to with her use of fans of Battlestar Galactica, the themes seemed to match my own work in some ways, especially the notion that sci-fi is used to question and share philosophical ideas.

Luke Jerram's beautifully crafted glass sculptures of viruses would've been better suited to being exhibited in a hospital setting. 

http://frequency.org.uk/format/artists/luke-jerram

Rosaline-de-thelin's fibre optical light pieces in St. Swithin's church were reminiscent of Bill Viola's Ocean Without A Shore at Venice Biennale 2007

http://frequency.org.uk/format/artists/rosaline-de...

Alex Posada's The Particle within Roman ruins was an encounter with some kind of Nikola Tesla creation that caused the stone ruins to appear to move around it. Having recently watched something about a boy whose father invented a secret military teleportation machine, I did want to get out before some kind of Philadelphia Experiment occurred.

Friday night there was a projected piece by The Collaborators in The Jolly Brewer pub http://frequency.org.uk/format/artists/the-collabo...

This work was trying to reach out to a non-art audience, and as I was forced into the capacity of a non-artist, attending as an ordinary audience participant, I used this to my advantage to gain feedback from people there. A non-artist friend said it would've been better with some more information about the images shown. 

I chatted with a musician that was in one of the bands featured in the montage, she hadn't been to Lincoln since. Some of the footage showed high profile bands from the late 60s and early 70s that played at local venues. There was a huge rock festival hosting Jimi Hendrix and Cream in 1968 I think, and I'm fairly certain my Dad came to Lincoln for one of those gigs back then. Considering that I'm attempting to bring a contemporary high profile band to Lincoln for the next Digital Arts Festival, I can see how my ambition will blow away all of those old cobwebs, how these small pieces lead up to the kind of thing I hope will happen.

In other news, I applied to the Lincolnshire Echo Cash For The Community Fund via the local newspaper, and have received a registration pack. This fund has £20,000 for 200 organisations available, which I hope will go towards match funding for an ACE grant. 

Barry wanted to meet up sometime over the past two days, but having done some work whilst on holiday, I was too tired to do anything yesterday, and I didn't hear from him, which is a shame.

Amongst all of that, I have completed my first proper paid commission for a fellow fan of A-ha! She wanted a Take On Me style illustration of her and Morten for a book she's trying to publish. As she's not actually met Morten, this was a completely photoshopped portrait. However, despite my inclination to avoid all A-ha themed work, something is telling me that it would be better to get primary research for such work next time.... 

# 89 [25 October 2011]

I was invited to Spire last Friday evening, as part of Frequency Digital Arts Festival, which proved itself to be a very inspirational evening. 

Spire brought contemporary musical performances into the setting of Lincoln Cathedral.

Spire is a particularly poignant title considering that at the time the Cathedral had spires, it was the tallest building in Europe, and the music was meant to replace those lost spires. 

So we were treated to Olivier Messiaen's Chants d'oiseux, which I swear must be the soundtrack to a Jan Svankmajer animation, Philip Jeck, and my all time favourite, B.J. Nilsen, whose hauntingly Scandinavian sounds caused me to imagine that the Cathedral had been hewn out of a fjord, an icy glacier of a space, then the arched ceiling transformed into whalebone, as if I were Jonas inside a whale, swimming in frozen seas. 

I got chatting to someone there by the name of Michael who had just returned from Graz supporting Apparatjik, and he introduced me to the festival organiser, Barry.

He told me that my proposal was the best one they'd had, and we discussed to work on it, then he offered to show me round an ice book and the rest of the festival, for which I have yet to receive a reply. 

# 88 [18 October 2011]

I've become distracted lately by a horrible issue with Orange, which I wrote in this blog:

http://helend-blackbird.blogspot.com/

Still no news from Ofcom yet, however, I've since been busy applying for funding for the Empty Shops project and just to be able to get the LAN going.

Last week I had the option of going with my G.C.S.E - stressed son to a post 16 presentation at school or the opening of Lincoln's first Digital Arts Festival, Frequency, at The Collection.

In the end I attended neither. My son said he'd be fine going to the Post 16 evening by himself, and the Frequency thing became superseded by Tea Time.

Feeding the kids seems to be a priority for single Mums, over attending an event that I applied to be paid to take part in and wasn't successful, and my omission from will only make me feel bad, so best to avoid. A tweet from someone involved saying "... YOU ARE MISSING OUT!" only served to add to a perception that the art world is blatantly discriminating against me because I am the sole carer of my kids, and I don't find it responsible to go out at tea time when my son's G.C.S.E.s take priority. Or will I have social services banging on my door again??... I always feel that it takes extra effort to attend such things, and I'm often ignored because I go alone, so why should I go to that much trouble? Why put myself through all that? I've never received any paid commissions, only people insulting me because I can no longer afford to work "voluntarily". Having said all of that, I will go to Spire at the Cathedral. It won't be any near as good as if JUSTICE were to perform there, or in fact APPARATJIK, but I'll keep those thoughts to myself. 

It's half term now, so the usual frustration of being invited to arty things when I have a demanding 12 year old thinking i don't love him if I don't look what he's doing 24 hours a day..... whilst ignoring ads for children's workshops - I can't afford to send my son to a workshop by another artist because I'm not working during half term, i can do them myself for free, but my son says he isn't interested in art!! God knows what he IS interested in. Mostly breaking things. It cost me £30 to fix his bike, and he still needs a new brake cable. If I sit and draw things, he says I'm really good at drawing, and really quick, and that's probably the best art education he'll get. I learnt from sitting on my Grandad's knee watching him draw stuff. Tony Hart and Rolf Harris don't seem to be on telly these days. By the age of 11 I knew I wanted to be an artist, but I'm not so sure that was a good idea now!

I did receive a lovely message from Rosanne Robertson, from the AIR Activists meeting in Manchester back in March. She's planning activist events in January and hopes to spread to other cities, so I'm hoping to support this in Lincoln. This is the kind of support we need!! But that kind of thing, ie work, can wait until November now.

I missed a Brothers Quay animation on SkyArts. Good, that would be art-related and classed as "work". Then there was Vincent And Theo, which I left on, as my son was into Van Gogh, after that episode of Doctor Who. I'm not going to say what I thought of it, because again, that would be doing "work", and it's half term ;-) I don't even know why I'm writing this blog!

# 87 [27 September 2011]

Our exhibition went well in the end. We received a lot of positive feedback for our work, we inspired a few freshers coming to study in Lincoln, and I feel a sense of achievement now. 

The best part was collaborating with Alice Lynch, who I contacted after I saw her blog on Artist's Talking, and enabling her to exhibit work in Lincoln, which she appreciated. Stamford is a lovely town, I studied there for my A-levels in the days when Jamiroquai was thrown out of Oakham school... but the art scene there lacks a contemporary edge.

The gallery is relatively low cost compared to others, and artists are guaranteed an exhibition, as opposed to all the open submissions, where everyone pays a tenner but with no guarantee your work will be "chosen". So I'm now going to focus on achieving funding for the group, whilst developing new projects.

My initial inquiries about Johnson Hospital are proving fruitful, so it's starting to look as though that is a project worth pursuing further.

I received an email from the agent for the "owners" of the building (I use that term loosely ;-) ) interested in my proposal, so my next step will be to get in touch with him, and find out what we can do. 

I'm in discussion with Apparatjik's manager about collaborating with them, which will probably happen in 2013 now, and this requires funding. 

I also hope to go to Oslo again some time soon. 

Yesterday I wanted to take down work at the gallery, then spend the rest of the day relaxing. But the kids are being demanding, and a mirror was broken. The mirror is in my studio, so it gave me an idea for a new piece of Borges inspired sculpture. 

# 86 [20 September 2011]

So much has not gone quite to plan lately.

Last minute change of plans mean the show consists of five artists, and none of the people that initially showed their support.

We do have the work of Alice Lynch, and Beth Burr, both of whom are brilliant.

http://lincolnartistnetwork.blogspot.com/

I must stress, i consider myself no curator, but booking the gallery was a way to keep me focussed on creating new work amongst other things, to give me something to aim for, and with a lack of other paid opportunities in Lincoln, I have to do something, or I would never do anything at all.

It was affirming to speak to someone at the private view that knew about Borges.

# 85 [14 September 2011]

The boys' school has changed to an academy, so I've had to buy brand new uniform for both of them. 

The kids are back at school, and aside from having caught a hideous cold at Grimsthorpe Festival over the Bank Holiday, I'm now getting on with work again. I applied for a couple of events over the months since my exhibition, neither of which were successful, although they have been successful in a way..... I have some very high profile artists that have agreed to come to Lincoln to collaborate with the LAN for the Digital Arts Festival. One of the organisers was quite excited by my proposal, but then told me that "all the artists have been chosen".

So whilst instead this will now be very exciting for 2013, I'm left back at square one. The Digital Arts Festival will take place in October, and I will keep away from it, because I don't need people rubbing my face in the fact that I wasn't as successful as I'd have hoped. 

I've been in the studio working on new work for "Fictions" exhibition next week at gallery at St. Martin's. I've had a lot of interest from Lincoln based artists for this group show. But more recently I've lost motivation again, and ask myself why I don't seem to get the support I need to get projects going, and why I seem to end up taking on too much for little reward.

I went to London to visit the Serpentine gallery for a research trip, and to attend a private view that ending up costing me far more than I'd like. 

Blog: http://helend-blackbird.blogspot.com/

In other news, in my home town there's an old Victorian hospital standing empty and abandoned, looking like something out of Edward Scissorhands. The hospital is where I was born and where my eldest son was born before a brand shiny new building was built just outside the town centre.

The old hospital was bequeathed to the town back in the days of philanthropy, but I can guess what will happen to it. Faceless developers will claim ownership of it and turn it into housing. 

So I wrote to the local newspaper asking for information, and proposing that it would be a good opportunity to develop a body of artwork for an exhibition in the town. They printed this in the letters section, and I'm getting emails from local artists interested in the idea, offering support. So this will be another project I hope will develop into something. 

# 84 [18 August 2011]

It's been a while since I posted in here. I was thinking of leaving this blog and setting up a new one once I have something new, shiny and successful to blog about. 

I managed in the end to raise £55 for my solo show. I spent more than that having copies of my comic printed, in the gamble that I might sell them all and make that back. I didn't sell all of them, I sold a few, but feedback for the exhibition was very positive, and I'm glad to have discovered a few people that are really enthusiastic about my work!!

It's done wonders for my morale, as has the past few months enjoying my garden. 

I didn't have to pay any submission fees or gallery hire, because it was in a cafe, and Jon Burgerman said he'd exhibited there, so i'm following in some good footsteps. 

I will use the rest of the comics to sell in other locations, A-ha fans are most interested in my work, I've even got a German fan that wants to commission me to illustrate a book cover for her. She's only offering a budget of 100EUR, which is less than my going rate, so maybe a tiny doodle would suffice for that budget!! 

The best feedback I had was from the guys at Page45 in Nottingham, who said it was funny, which it's meant to be, and not the mad ramblings of an obsessed fan. The fact is that if I had loads more money, I would've made my Jan Svankmayer animation by now, but scribbling on Morten's face takes up less time and I can fit in in with applying for funding and failing. 

I'm in consultation with business people as to how to achieve funding for the LAN. They always suggest asking artists to pay, but I know that artists are all skint, and just want the bank to pay us a wage. So out of sheer frustration I wrote that into my pitch. "What do you need advice on?" How to approach the bank to pay artists an actual wage. Later on, the lady from the business group said my application had been approved. In the mean time, I've embarked on some new work for an upcoming LAN exhibition at gallery at St. Martin's. Entitled "Fictions", I've been pleased to secure some enthusiastic artists, but not doing any work over the summer hols. 

I was spiritually devastated by the recent tragedy in Oslo and Utoya. I watched bewildered as friends kept posting more and more news via Facebook and Twitter, later corroborated by news reports. Luckily, no one I know was directly affected, but Magne Furuholmen was due to open a new gallery in Oslo next month, and the body of work he's created involves used hospital sheets. 

He decided not to go ahead with that exhibition out of sensitivity to families of the tragedy, even though I did think it could've been his "Guernica", I think it was a good decision.