Last year in level 5, my theme was my emotion’s through color, I produced a mind map to link up the various emotions.  I researched the color’s associated with the various emotion’s and symbolism that was associated with these emotions too.

I find putting idea’s down in a sketch book difficult as all my working out how to put the picture together in my head, and so I use the 2×2 ft. mdf boards as my sketches and in my head, I work out how to apply the paint as I am painting, so I take pictures as I go the painting at each stage.


I produced 4 large canvases, starting with the smaller 2x2ft mdf boards which I use as a form of sketching out my ideals exploring the symbol and colors associated with that emotion then progressing to the larger canvas which then became an abstract from the first sketch.

I’m using acrylic paint with talcum powder and pva glue mixed in to the color, the idea of this is to extend my paint as the talcum powder and glue mixed with water makes the paint go further as the color used doesn’t have to be much, this mix makes the paint thick and so you can have it as thick as you want. But this does give the paint a matt finish though. It also enables me to apply texture to the canvas I am working on.

With the large canvases, I used house hold paint brushes to apply the paint to canvas, this is the first time that  I have worked on such a large scale, I find great pleasure applying the paint to canvas, it’s quite a intense moment and I do get very caught up with the moment.



This is not what I had originally planned for this, I was trying to paint a waterfall looking down from the top, so I was standing on the edge of the water fall feeling I was about to fall in to the depths of despair, I spent several days trying to paint this waterfall but it just wasn’t working, I felt so annoyed and frustrated   so in the end I spent about 2 hours’ total caught up with painting what looks like an explosion of despair which is how I felt,  but it worked and I felt happier at the end of it.

Can’t say I love this one, but it is one of my babies, it was a very intense moment, I remember feeling highly excited at the fact that I was just slapping the paint on the canvas to the point that when I was finished I was shaking, but quite euphoric .



This is a 3D sculpture of the painting of contentment, it’s made out of High impact polystyrene and so is very light weight has a light in the center so that when it’s on it has the feeling of the column of light is pointing to the stars, the collar round the outside has a splash pattern cut out of it and stands on a pillar.

This is my favorite, I am total surprised of how good it looks, and how well it went when making the separate parts , I have to say I love it.

I was totally caught up in what I was doing…  couldn’t wait to get back to the painting…  and as each canvas was coming to its completion had the next work on the go in my head…   and each time I finished a canvas and stepped back to look at it…  was totally blown away with it…  was totally in love with it…  and also, totally surprised that I actually produced that canvas.


All through this year I have been so frustrated and when I have got like this I have just got the paint out and applied it with no thought of what I in producing, I have just picked colors that I like and using palate knives I have applied the paint onto the canvas with no thought of structure.

These three above were done when I got angry with my frustration, the outcome has been good and I feel it’s a way forward that I felt I didn’t have before. My tutor Robin Warne feels these works much better than the previous four, he said that the four-square ones he said that he felt they were to contrived, from this I thought he might mean that they didn’t allow the viewer to process what they thought the canvas might mean, of the other three, which the third is not finished, he felt they were more intuitive, they come from the inner self, soul or sprit. All three of the above canvas are almost an explosion of color. They are bright and uplifting,  I did enjoy the action of painting them, I love the applying the color to the canvas with the pallet knives, the feel of the paint against the canvas as I push the colour across the canvas

I’ve changed the size of canvas I’m working on, from 2ft. sq. to 2ft. x 3ft. the paintings with the 2×2 canvas turn out to be symmetrical and too balanced, my aim is to paint without any cognitive thought, when I get in to painting a picture the picture always seems to paint its self, so by this process allows my in self or sprit to show its self.
I find Kandinsky’s work quite appealing, he plays with color and structure in a very pleasing way, it has a very abstract quality , he believed that the artist was able to convey what the inner self or sprit was seeing, and the colors used portrayed its soul,  he had relealisd that colour affected the artists  emotions and senses,



The above picture is a small study of how colour relates with each other, but this its self-become a art work.

Kandinsky was a synaesthete, i.e. he could ‘hear colours’ and ‘see sounds.’ As with music Kandinsky used colours like music when putting two colours together they would harmonise with each other so as he painted it was like he was writing a song, when looking at colours he could almost hear them, he felt that yellow had a crisp sound like a trumpet.

As colours have a effect on a emotional response Kandinsky thought that shape too could effect a emotional response, the square – calm feelings, the triangle -aggressive feelings and the circle – spiritual feelings.

It was around 1909 that Kandinsky began to paint with colour and shape, as he felt that these alone could represent art, and it was from this point in his life he began paint shapes and colour and this led to the beginning of the Abstract Art Movement


Kandinsky was one the leaders of the abstract art movement, he was inspired by Claude Monet’s work, when looking at Monet’s ‘Haystacks’ he had to look at the catalogue as he was very unsure of what he was looking at, he felt a confusion and interest when looking at it, as there was no deffernt image, but Monet’s use of colour impressed him and deffently haunted him.

So now heading in on a different path, and hoping inspiration and enthusiasm will make a appearance.


Now… repeating a picture of any sort that I have completed is something that I have turned away from…  I am a perfectionist…  so, everything has to be right with it and I can get very upset if I make a mistake…  so, repeating a picture means it’s going to be different…

So far I have managed 4.
No 1. Despair


Painted on 2 x 2 ft. MDF board, using palate knives using just the plain pigment of black, white and purple with nothing added in to it, it depicts my feeling of despair of being pulled in to the black hole in the center…  the spiral was done by making a template, which I attach to the painting and the using a short-bristled brush and splatter paint on the exposed part using white, silver, gold and bronze.  this gives the feeling of falling in to the center.

This one I do like very much as I do feel that it represents how I feel.
No2. 2 Become 1

Painted on 2 x 2 ft.  MDF board, plain pigments with nothing added in to it, of blues and purple although they look almost black, the center is red and the ying/yang symbol is gold and bronze, this hasn’t turned out how I had intended it to, when I came back in to the studio I didn’t like it, it looked far too dark, I sat and looked at it for around half an hour and realized the circles round the center look like shadows of people looking down at the center, I decided that I needed to lift it so using silver and gold highlighted the shape of the two circles.

But am not sure if it really says that now
No3. Desire/ Contentment

Painted on 2 x2 ft. MDF board, , plain pigments with nothing added in to it, the two loving figures in the center are painted with gold and silver, and then pink and red with purple on the outer edg, and touches of silver on the purple and then covered the couple in the center and then splattered white gold and silver to give the feeling of two people in that moment of being one.
No 4. Sadness

Painted on 2 x2 ft. MDF board, , plain pigments with nothing added in to it, at the center I had tried to paint a tear drop but it didn’t look like one, it was more like a seed pod so I painted over it with  a dark blue in to a lighter blue making the brush strokes radiate out towards the edge and in the corners purple with the palate knife, because I didn’t like the center I used the splatter painting with white gold and silver, if you look closely you can still see the tear drop/ seed pod but its not so noticeable , and the same from the corners.

Although its meant to represent Sadness it was suggested to me that it felt more like Hope.

This really hasn’t been working, all 4 are too contrived. I have no connection with them, I guess you could say that there is no, feeling in them, all 4 of them are not particularly colorful, with each one I have tried to use different texture.


I have worked on 10 2ft by 2ft MDF boards playing with color and texture. each one on an individual basis, I had thought of attempting to do some colour field painting… And on four of the 2 x 2 boards that I had cut I have tried but it’s not working.

Because I like to add talcum powder and PVA glue to my paint as it increases the quantity of paint, I was told that it dulls the colour down so I thought that if I put the PVA glue and talcum powder into the white base paint then when I add the colour it won’t take anything away from the colour.

I like to use texture in my painting and so I experimented with patterns with base paint which I think looked okay but when put in the colour over the top with didn’t feel like it was working as induvial pictures.

I didn’t like very much individually…. but when I put them all together as a wall they seem to work.

During this time, I was also working on my dissertation, writing about Mark Rothko, the question I was asking was ‘How does Rothko’s work exemplify and/or illustrate Harold Rosenberg’s statemen that the canvas was” an arena in which to act”.’ (Rosenberg. Art in theory 1900 to 1990. p 582)


I admire and love Mark Rothko’s work, especially his large work, standing in front of a large canvas of one main colour in various tones and textures, the feeling of being immersed in to the painting, I had that feeling from my own painting ‘desire’ although it’s not as big as Rothko’s when standing close to it, it gave me that feeling.

 My Own Experience of the Seagram Murals

I myself took a trip up to London to the Tate Modern where the Seagram Murals are now housed.

It was quite a busy day and so there were quite a few people milling around, I had been so excited to come and see these canvases, to experience what it would be like to be enveloped in his large colourful canvases.

In the centre of the room there are two seats situated in the middle of the room at either end, the lighting was quite dim, and so I sat down and looked, taking 10 to 15 minutes to let my eyes wander over the canvas; to take in the colour and brushstrokes.

I did this with each of the paintings one by one, and as I sat trying even get some feeling from the paintings, people were in and out again, wandering around and around talking.

I spent around an hour maybe a little bit more there. I think possibly, that I had built up an impression that to see Rothko’s work in the flesh (so to speak) would have a great effect on me, maybe even inspire me, but unfortunately, I left the gallery disappointed.

It hasn’t affected my view of Rothko’s work, I am still in awe of it and plan to go see the murals again and hopefully go to America to the Rothko Chapel.



1 LOVE (2 become 1)

The original idea for this emotion was a small canvas I had painted a few years ago but fitted to what I wanted to portray, this is when two people have fallen in love and their souls become one. With the smaller picture, I have applied quite a lot of texture with pallet knife, when going on to the larger canvas which is 5ft. square I applied the paint with large household paint brushes. Applying the color in bands and merging the edges in to each other.

I love both my pictures, I am very pleased how they both turned out, originally the figures were meant to go on to the larger canvas, but after I had finished applying the color and stood back from it I realized that in fact the picture didn’t need them, it worked on its own.

The emotion contentment is that feeling of immense pleasure and satisfaction, for me it felt like white light was radiating from my body so I have tried to imply this, in the first picture I used a water lily which is the symbol for contentment, with the column of white light bursting from the water lily and so the large canvas which is 5ft. x 3ft. has what looks like a container, this represents my inner self, and the column of light is the radiating feeling of contentment.

All three pictures have worked out well, the column of light I achieved by cutting a template to the shape I wanted and then attached it to the painting with masking tape, this meant that the areas covered by the template didn’t get covered by the paint I was about to apply. To get the column to have to look of light with floating particles in it, I used a short bristled paint brush which I used it to flick or splash paint on to the canvas, I do feel the effect has work well.
3 DESIRE (Burning Desire)

Desire is all enveloping, it can consume you, I started with the symbol which is a Camellia because of its gentle curves represent desire, passion, and then depicted a molten ball of fire, the last canvas is 6ft.x6ft and having created the center I then brushed out sections of the color starting from deep red through to orange at the edges. I was aiming for the intense feeling of passion, when I stand in front of it, it makes me feel totally enveloped and at one with it.

This one I do love to look at, stand by, I love the feeling of the color pulling me in to it, the center is quite textured as I wanted to give the feeling that the fire was burning intensely and deeply, and then the all-consuming feeling  of desire and passion   with the intense  red going through to orange surrounding the molten pot of desire.