In June when I was in Brighton working with Fabrica about how we might approach the autumn exhibition, I shot Alice-Gale. She wasn’t available for a third shoot, which was ashame. Below Alice writes about the experience of being in front of the camera and being asked to express different emotional states.
Alice-Gale:
For me it was a real eye opener; to become aware of the unsaid emotions and feelings that have been pushed to the back of my mind after the years of new experiences and new memories.
The project was very prominent in my mind for the two days of my involvement,and I am still currently thinking about my responses, what I could have said etc. What i found most consuming was the thoughts about my emotions or lack of emotions and what this meant about me as a person.
During the shoot, I felt i sometimes tried to convince myself of sadness or happiness as my mind almost went blank in front of the camera (an unnatural setting to expose yourself) I then became aware that I had not felt real strong emotion for a long time , or thought I hadn’t; in the attempt to recreate the emotion, the feelings flooded back.
I felt quite moved both during and after as it bought up for me feelings about friends, relatives that i had forgotten or moved on from in the business of my mind and life. Sometimes i felt regret about thoughts and feelings..I feel I’ve learn t about the necessity of holding back on having to vocalize feelings when it could trigger a consequential negative response in myself.
I was surprised that i found it difficult, but equally surprised how liberating it was; I am more inspired to be honest with myself about emotions from now on.
