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organising something fun
Can you just give up art?
Apparently when the chips are down you just call it quits be thankful for the education and the experiences and then opt out and pursue another goal. You can do that. Or you can quit while your ahead if you like.
I’d never considered it until today when I met a friend and an artists who’s work I really respected and enjoyed. He told me he’s content with the journey so far and now it’s time to accept that it just isn’t worth pursuing anymore. I don’t know if I can accept it but there it is.
On a different note I am so tremendously glad of my decision to venture over to the V and A for an exhibition of camera-less photography. I’d not paid for Gabriel Orozco at Tate Modern. The place was crawling with school children and I was on a mission to take in some big artstuff. I felt that it just wasn’t the right time but fingers crossed i get to see it before April 25th.
Anyway the V and A show, I just couldn’t believe it when I saw it. I just wanted to eat it all up. Most especially Floris Neususs’s Korperfotograms which were living shadows caught on light sensitive paper. And to top it he’s in love with Talbot. Well I can only assume so from his work. It’s just so exciting to see people are working with the things that are just in my head at the moment and that the work is recognised by somewhere like the V and A. I’m itching to read and see more from these photographers. I’m so inspired I can hardly go asleep tonight with all the ideas dancing in my head.
I took it easy after that. By lunch I’d been all acrcos town so I decided to take it more casually around Picadilli area, Dover St, Cork St, Saville Row and all the well thought out places where everything is fine and just a bit magical.
We cooed and chuckled at what Cindy Sherman had done at Monika Spruths. What a clever and beautiful lady. So real in her fakery.
Saw Martin creed on a trip with Sean Scully and then Tracey and Louise played with each others drawings. Mostly I was just soaking up the richness of everything. Now I’m just so so tired I could collapse.
Tomorrow I am going to find a little budget for materials so I can get on with my work.
I’m writing early because I plan to have a bath at ten and have an early night.
It finally feels like a bit of pressure is off although I have just spent most of the day getting a programme of a week of live art events started. I feel quite positive about it and although it will be hard work I feel like I’m doing something useful.
I’m planning on doing a reenactment of Janine Antoni’s Loving Care. It’s been done before by Lilibeth Cuenca Rasmussen, but I like that. That’s the thing with performance outside of art it’s acceptable and indeed part of the idea of performing to keep the idea alive by continuing to perform the act.
Also I want to try out a piece for documentation. I’m hoping to get going with the callotype but I doubt I’ll make the timescale so I’ll probably use pinhole and film cameras just cos I like them or maybe I can use disposable pinholes with light sensitive paper. Anyhow forward I go. Penniless.
I can’t even remember today it’s been so stressful, having no money is not fun.
Even though I’d spent two weeks on the BIG application I found this morning that my printer was out of ink. I resolved to get the bus to uni and print there. Got ready, went to the bank – no money! You can’t do much without money, no bus fare, not enough for a stamp-nada!
All for nothing. You need money to get money. Luckily I put together enough copper to get to uni were I got an emergency loan of £30.
How is it that I can be this educated and this unemployable? It appears there is no place for me here. And yet I continue to make and think and work and write. Sometimes it seems as if I’m ascending a vertical building with soapy hands. I suppose at least I am attempting to ascend.
Time management, not easy when your part-time everything. I was up at six this morning. Made the breakfasts, and pack lunches. Then over my cuppa I was working on some designs for a gift for one of my close friends. Suddenly it was 8 o’clock and I had an appointment at 9.
After the appointment I headed straight for my studio where I had set everything out the night before ready to get stuck in to work, but first I had to do the dishes and check emails which led me to search for another part time job because I currently have no income.
I did pick up a call in the studio about hiring space and an enquiry as to whether we’d be able to work with the group to curate the show- possible earner. By this stage it was almost lunch and I still hadn’t started what I come to do.
I finally got into the real work by about twelve. It was freezing in the studio and a few hours later I realised I hadn’t eaten so I robbed a cuppa soup from the cupboard and sat down for 5.
By half three I was out of space for drying so I decided to call it a day. Back home, make dinner, make calls, eat dinner, search for jobs, apply for jobs, loans, trust funds bursaries on and on. Then the alarm for blog writing goes and I have to snooze it because I am doing some weird on-line job test where I have to spot the difference in the picture to see if I have the aptitude for the role.
Then I realise THE deadline is looming and I start working on the big commission application that I have been chipping away at for two weeks. I’ve got a chance in a million at it but if it happens I will be saved from the never-ending application process for a while and I will be making best use of my time and skills.
And now to the blog. What can I say really. I’ve not researched what I was supposed to. I’ve not sent that email and it’s half eleven at night and I realise I haven’t been to the toilet since dinner. Have to go, bye.
