Saturday 28th
Feel kind of empty today? Been working so hard recently its time for a rest. Do a few drawings on the computer, a small amount of writing then go for a walk. Watch some films later, just to let someone else do the 'picture' work….
Haunted this week: cant get one picture out of my head and its like a slomo flashback during a film. Out, one morning, i watched a 'woman fall'. I was to far away to stop it, her legs buckled and she just fell like a 'demolidhed building', just sinking into the ground. Trouble is she looked at me right in the eyes as she did. Her expression of supprise sharply changed to a 'grimace' of pain, but all in slow motion. 'Eye to eye' contact is normally a strange possibility for someone with 'aspergers' and sposedly a very intimate experience. Allwas quiet, it blocked everything else out but she then 'broke' contact, broke the 'spell' an 'atachment' as she hit the ground and the 'world' shouted back…became apparent and very loud. Rain-traffic- Noise…NoiZe! Found it very disturbing but also calming. She was alright, just shaken but I couldn't bring myself to talk to her the connection had been so intense.
'Look into my eyes', maybe it true that can be more intense than touch? ?
couldn't sleep so many ideas but not enough time or words to record them before they slip away, out of my reach when i eventually drop off.
