I have recently become aware that this is the first time I have included text in my work. Already I feel encouraged by this development because it is having an influence over my ideas.
Over the past few decades text has played an important role in many other artist’s work, particularly women. Tracey Emin and Louise Bourgeios use it to relive traumatic moments in their lives in order that they can lay to rest the ghosts that haunt them.
Legendary artist Tracey Emin is well-known for communicating aspects of her personal history, not only whilst working in the studio, but also her ‘accomplishments’ outside it. Her antics have brought her notoriety, but there can be no doubt that her artistic expression comes from a deep desire to survive and ‘live to tell the tale’, through her work. In Strangeland, her book of revealing memoirs Emin describes her first abortion in harrowing detail. At its core is the heart-wrenching realisation that she is taking away a life, Emin describes it as, ‘a life that I could have loved forever’, but she very decisively chose not to. She has publically declared on many occasions that she does not regret her decision to abort her baby. I admire her audacity, I could never be that brave to stand up and be that honest! The fact remains; she will never forget.
In Baby Things (1998) Emin explores the subject of teenage pregnancy. The work consists of a collection of baby clothes cast in bronze. They were placed separately in various locations around the town of Folkstone in Kent. Emin may deny it, but there appears a glimmer of remorse in these tiny works.
For Louise Bourgeois the ensuing sense of hatred and abandonment she endured following the news of her father’s infidelity featured prominently in many of her works, the most obvious being Destruction of the Father; a sculptural work depicting her memory of loathsome mealtimes around the family dining table. The food on the table is substituted by a heaving mass of plastic boils that are at the point of erupting and this communicates the anger and disgust she felt towards her father.
The point I am trying to make is, that our experiences mould us and ultimately it will be how I choose to respond to the consequences of my birth.
Reflecting on these issues has helped me regain some understanding and perspective of my personal issues and provideded a way forward for my practice.
Thinking about the words my birth mother wrote before I was born has impacted on me now, as an adult and being a mother myself. Perusing old photographs is another way of attempting to make some sense of it all, but there is always restlessness within me. The truth and its consequences are something I will never be able to come to terms with.
After compiling ‘Open Secret’ I made a sketch of one of the images…
The photographs are a starting point for exploration and I will be using them in a more abstract way to express my feelings on the subject of my identity whilst including the thoughts of others in the same situation.
This is a painting I have recently finished and based on one of my photographic images of chains and how they are linked. This was a reflection on how families are able to bond together.
