Disapointmenticus
Portsmouth 17th July
Today I was due to finish my rest and recuperation time I had had to set up (from PTSD which is now gone but still suffer exhaustion and Depression) before I started on the reviewing process for Look About – Unfortunately I received some unexpected news and reacted badly to this due to my personality (as a person with aspergers) I have felt I been slipping back into depression for a few weeks – its always been a constant companion but I keep busy as much as I can – but my attempting to work as hard as I have before failed – sometimes you have to recognise what you can and cant do and resting is alien to me as freelancer – artist 247 – so in response I wrote the following in deep disappointment:
Promises
are like
worthless word-fields
their fruits empty husks
bound with string
to distorted stalks
endlessly stretching
in every direction
as far as my eyes can see
I will start tomorrow gently by briefing the artist who will be acting as my access support – I can write reasonably but not read unreasonably.
Fingers crossed I will not be bound and have to cut my way free – I make a day log of the day – mapping the false start of the mapping review and marking my disappointment with strong black biro lines that cut thru the paper to the fresh sheet behind.
Looking at he great Swayterian transgression
Portsmouth July 18th
Welcome:
I have spent the last 3 years logging my every move and my engagement as an artist within the London 2012 Cultural Olympiad – The project was awarded Cultural Olympiad branding and I had unique access in the South East of England to artists projects and performers
I have mapped all of my personal life, ups and downs decent into illness and the death of my mother alongside endless travel and engagement with London 2012 projects.
The final artifact will be an official geological map complete with personal 2012 stratigraphy and complex evolutionary timelines – later an Ibook complete with these crossections and study of fossils (at least 5000 collected items – almost a hoarder)
This is the blog for reviewing all the 1000 day logs as we investigate for the first time and then drawing the map from all the fragments that have been incidentally collected.
When I was 11 I had a picture torn up in front of the class – I hid any talent I had for art behind my other love and skill – Geology – I trained not as the artist I always wanted to be but as a Paleontologist – When I left University I started drawing again – leaving behind the opportunity of a PhD – now as an artist I have the opportunity to turn this project into that geology PhD – irony.
This is the journey of making that map.
PS. spell check is not working! and as a dyslexic I may not notice.
