Since my last posts 'Fictions' opened at the Bonington Gallery. As is often the case, the show was not completely resolved until five minutes before we opened our doors to the public. Thanks must go to Geoff Diego Litherland for his support in realising the exhibition and essentially pulling us out of several large holes during installation.
For the opening we had drinks supplied by the university, along with two university employed bar staff to serve. We also had real ale supplied by Nottingham Brewery. Here is a conversation I had with these two troglodytes one hour before the opening:
Me: (noticing that our barrel of ale, which had been put in place hours earlier to allow to settle before the opening, had been moved away from the drinks table as they were draping it in faux-cotton coverings) Erm.. why is the barrel over there?
Trog 1: We're just setting up the drinks for tonight.
Me: Erm, yeah.. but, this ale is for tonight as well.
Trog 2: Well it's not ours is it?
Me: Yes.. yes it is. It's ale we've been given for tonight. Why's it been moved over there?
Trog 2: Well this table is for the drinks.
Me: Yes, I know, and the ale is one of the drinks.
Trog 1: Well why would we need that? We've already got five types of wine.
Me: Yes, well, we're having the ale as well. The exhibition has been sponsored with this free ale, so we're going to serve it.
Trog 1: (Signalling to the two long, empty tables) Well I don't think there'll be space. We've got to put all the drinks out nicely, and the glasses..
Me: Yes, but we're having the ale as well.
Trog 2: Well we're not serving it.
Me: What?! Why not?
Trog 2: We're here to serve the wine and juice.
Me: You're here to serve the drinks.
Trog 1: We're here to serve THE UNIVERSITY'S DRINKS.
Me: What's the difference? All you have to do is pour ale from the tap into a glass.
Trog 1: You have to see it from our point of view. The university buys THESE drinks to serve at the opening, which have been approved and bought internally, and we are paid to work for the university. Serving your drink would go against the university's interests.
Me: (Bemused) What?
Trog 1: (Attempting to be clever) I mean, how would you like it if I asked you to go make us some coffees?
Me: I wouldn't mind! I will go and personally make you coffees NOW if it'll mean you serve the ale! Do you want me to make you a coffee?
Trog 1: (A little confused/flustered) Erm.. er.. no thanks, I'm ok.
Trog 2: I know it might seem petty but-
Me: YES! YES IT IS PETTY! VERY PETTY!
For the rest of the evening they ignored me and the barrel, which became a "self-service" ale dispenser; quite a unique facility at an art opening I'd guess!
