I shot Julie last week in the studio. We spent about an hour and a half together. I asked Julie to write about how she felt in the studio. Again, the post is cut into two sections.
Julie 08/08/09 Contagion Experience for Tina Gonsalves Lighthouse Brighton
part one.
When I volunteered for Tina I didn’t know what to expect. I knew she was working within science and the arts about facial expressions, and emotions, and I also knew that she worked with film. So I wasn’t sure if she was going to put weird suction cups onto my face and hook me up to some machine, or if it was going to be more film work. I volunteered because the subject interests me, and because I am feeling a bit emotionally raw I thought I’d be a good subject – plus at 42 I’m a bit older than most people who probably volunteer.
The artist made me feel very comfortable and relaxed. I enjoyed the conversation throughout the experience.
The experience was odd in a number of ways. It’s a bit egocentric being in front of the camera with a close head shot. I enjoyed that because it made me feel like a film star or something. I felt like: ‘wow! I hope she chooses to use me for her work, I’m going to really try to please her! I’ll be really good and do exactly what she says.’ This says so much about me actually…
So when Tina asked me to do ‘happy’ I am a master of happy – I am so happy – man o man am I happy – oh yes I can do warmth and ooze happy I am so good at happy and sharing happy and loving happy love vibes throughout the room and thinking about little JoJo and Gabe as babies gurgling away and smiling up at me oh how sweet yes happy and also I remember Santa Fe along the Pecos River sun swimming free peaceful friends freedom youth happy sooo happy
And then I was back in the room and I was getting a little tired of happy that suddenly I felt like that Barbie doll in the film Toy Story smiling, waving goodbye and then saying ‘Are they gone yet? My cheeks are killing me!’
