Smells like my old adversary…The fear of failure again!
I have resorted to come to my old friend, my blog. I can ask myself the question here, as it’s like I’m “allowing” myself to “talk”. My blog has become a refuge for me…somewhere I can come and reflect, sometimes as now is the case, quiet candidly. here I can relax, not worry about how my writing style will be perceived, in this space I can express myself freely and instinctively.
The question I want to ask myself is…
“What the hell has happened to me?”
I seem to be completely devoid of the ability to express my thoughts in a rational cohesive fashion!
I know the answer actually, I have got so hung up on using the “right” words and trying too hard, it seems to be blocking anything coming through. I write something, I’m talking about a sentence sometimes, read it…cringe, I alter it, re-read it…possibly change it again, resulting in a total mess and losing the message I was trying to convey. That is of course after I have struggled with the problem of physically getting the words and ideas, which are teaming around in my mind, down in text. Because a lack of ideas isn’t the problem, of no, I have ideas by the bucket load! Perhaps the underlying problem is making a decision on which thread of study to follow, the worry that it might not be the right choice. I believe, as I have said before if I think about it, the most difficult part of study is the beginning, and this has been the most difficult for me to date!
Well, I hope writing this down has provided me with a kick-start to stop!
Stop worrying, stop getting so anxious and stop being negative.
Start again, take a deep breath and simply let my ideas out of my head…Wish me luck !
