So now I have a plan, but stuckness still lives here and I’m just pushing really hard against doing absolutely nothing. If I were to write a list of what I have done it would be…
… well why not do a list?
went to London
saw Tracey Emin show
saw Louise Bourgeois drawings
went to Bloomberg space
been to a talk by Art Catalyst
went to a PV at artworks
made paper from the boluses
prepared the paper with liquid light
learned how to use the enlarger
learned how to ‘find the grain’
made a drawing everyday
wrote my blog most days
contacted Helen Hiebert in Oregon
(got a response from Helen)
contributed to Pyramid of Arts’ funding bid
started research on cyanotypes
contacted Polymer about a return visit
None of these things make me feel like I have ‘done’ anything. Maybe I haven’t dedicated enough time to anything? I haven’t focused on an activity? After I ruined the paper it’s a struggle for me to convince myself that it is worth beginning again. It is possible that I will be disappointed by the outcome. It is possible that I am disappointed at the realisation of the concept. Do some things exist better as ideas rather than as objects that are compromised by the practicality of making. Is the nature of creating something functional from a concept inevitably inconclusive?
At the Art Catalyst talk today a project where an artist had created a fake science lab as a performance space evolved into a working laboratory. The result was an impractical space but one that attracted many scientists, geographers, hackers, artists and other professional. Even though the conditions where less that comfortable there was this attraction to the concept and even though the actual experience wasn’t ideal the idea behind the space seemed to override the participants desire to work there.
I must persist. I must go back to the concept and inspire myself. Tomorrow I am going to a school to talk to students. I will use this opportunity to test out whether the concept for this work is still interesting even though so far the practical application of the ideas have evolved from the original drawings by the fact that I have had to create the process from information from several sources. Young people will give their honest opinion, and in explained the concept to them I should clarify it in my own mind.
In other news I’m not being evicted.
